#014 – I would like to report a murder… of physics

#014 – I would like to report a murder… of physics

KaiEbikoOfficial: does your family know?

“I… don’t know? Probably not,” I replied with a shrug as I finished wiping off the last of my tears.

KaiEbikoOfficial: should I tell them?

I pursed my lips and thought about it for a moment.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure. My relationships with my family had always been strained, especially after coming out. My sister was a little better, but I still wasn’t particularly close to her…

“Probably not… It’s fine.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: Nana…

“I mean… it’s not like you have contacts for them. And I can’t give them to you without giving it to the whole chat, right? Cuz I can’t turn off the stream,” I reasoned.

KaiEbikoOfficial: I guess that’s true

KaiEbikoOfficial: okay

KaiEbikoOfficial: how can I help then?

“I…” I frowned. “I don’t know?”

I genuinely had no idea what a fellow Vcuber could do to help me in my situation. As colorful as our lore could be, Vcubers didn’t actually have magical powers to traverse dimensions and whatnot.

“I guess just emotional support is enough…”

KaiEbikoOfficial: if that’s enough for you…

KaiEbikoOfficial: okay

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’ll be your friendly fairy Ebiko on your isekai journey!

I snorted, my mouth finally curving into a smile again.

“Fairy? I thought you were a shrimp girl.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: shrimp fairy!

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’ll do my best!

I grinned.

“Alright… Alright! I know I keep getting distracted, but now for real – Dungeon time…! Again…! Third time’s the charm!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: woohoo!

KaiEbikoOfficial: wait dungeon?

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to beat this weird dungeon, but I keep getting overwhelmed by the zombies. Last time, one even scratched me and I don’t even know if I’m turning into a zombie too…” I briefly looked at my status and found out that my race still said Human, thankfully.

KaiEbikoOfficial: then why are you going back?!

“Because I’m starving! Look, I even have a death clock!” I opened up the ‘Don’t starve’ quest description.

‘Don’t starve’ Side quest

Time left: 2d, 5h, 11m, 3s

Main objective

:

Find something to eat.

Side objectives:

Find a source of food that will last you at least a week.

Rewards - 1SP

Penalty for failure - Death by starvation

KaiEbikoOfficial: what the falafel

KaiEbikoOfficial: that’s messed up

“Mhmm, I know,” I dryly replied as I finally made it to the dungeon’s entrance again. “But yeah. There’s nothing out here besides the dungeons. I tried eating bush leaves and the goo… but none of them were real food.”

Which reminded me… I needed to use appraisal on the trees too at some point. And the orange smoke inside them as well.

Not right now, though. I had distracted myself for long enough.

KaiEbikoOfficial: wait there’s no animals or fruits or anything?

“Nope… Nothing. As far as I can tell, there’s only fruitless plants and these weird dungeons in this world. And since the dungeon chests have random stuff in them, I’m hoping to find something edible at some point…”

KaiEbikoOfficial: right

KaiEbikoOfficial: still weird

KaiEbikoOfficial: where’s this dungeon then?

KaiEbikoOfficial: and what is this place?

I sighed. “This is the dungeon. I told you. The dungeons are weird,” I said as I stepped over the boundary and let the uncomfortable chill go down my spine again.

I was getting used to that feeling.

KaiEbikoOfficial: huh

“Yeah. Anywho, I gotta pay attention now. Don’t wanna get jumped by zombies.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: right

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’ll shut up now

I hummed and advanced through the hallway, whilst switching my vision again.

I wasn’t really sure whether the heat vision was at all useful, to be honest. I couldn’t see through the concrete walls with it, and by the time I could spot the zombies with it, they were close enough that I could also hear them or see them normally anyway.

I was probably going to replace it with Craftsman as soon as I could get another skill point. Although I wasn’t entirely sure how that worked. Would I need to buy it again if I wanted to use it? I sure hoped not. That would have been a massive waste of skill points.

That aside, the halls were suspiciously empty compared to last time. I got a good way through, and even passed by the room where I’d looted the chest – it was still open and empty – before another zombie appeared.

Just a single one. It was very easy to deal with at this point. All I had to do was dodge its initial lunge and then smack it in the head with my sword. It disappeared in a mist a few seconds later.

KaiEbikoOfficial: wow that’s brutal

KaiEbikoOfficial: and gross

“Yeah… It feels even worse than it looks. I’m kind of used to it at this point, though. I’ve already killed ten of these things.” I didn’t mention my concerns about becoming a psychopath. She didn’t need to know. Nor did chat.

Just like that, I kept advancing, much more confidently than yesterday. More zombies came out to mingle, but whether it was experience or growing up overnight, I no longer had any issues dealing with even groups of four of them at once. It still left me a little winded, but a few minutes of rest and I was good to go again.

“It’s weird that they only started appearing now…” I mused as I glanced at chat. A few keywords caught my eye and I blinked. “Huh. You think they didn’t respawn from my last delve? Hmm… That would explain it I guess. But does that mean that the dungeons become empty and pointless after one person clears them?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: maybe it all resets once you beat everything

I hummed. “Maybe.”

With that in mind, I kept going, dealing with about a dozen more zombies on my way to the locked gate. I was getting pretty used to their behavior and none of them got a single scratch on me anymore. After all, I’ve always been good at figuring out monster AI.

Maybe video game skills did translate into real life situations. At least some of them.

At last I reached the locked gate. Looking at it up close, it looked incredibly video-gamey. The golden lock was suspended right in the middle of the gate by four golden chains that were attached to each of the gate’s corners. The lock was also as big as my head and the gate itself was made out of simple golden metallic bars connected to the gate’s rim at the top and bottom.

Beyond the gate, I could see the actual water park. Pools of water, waterslides, fast food vendors to the side –

“Chat… There’s fast food vendors.” I gripped the metal bars with my hands and glared beyond the gate. “I bet there’s gonna be food in there!”

Or there could be zombie vendors waiting to make food out of me.

KaiEbikoOfficial: blow up the gate!

I backed off, checked my surroundings for zombies again, and then breathed in and covered the damn gate in as much fire as I could muster without collapsing.

Once the fire dissipated, I was greeted with the locked golden gate without a hint of damage.

Dammit.

I pulled out my sword and swung at the lock  as hard as I could… Only to yelp as I was deflected by some kind of forcefield around the thing. I flew back on my butt and even let go of my sword for a second before quickly retrieving it.

“Ughhh… Of course it has anti-cheat protection… Has anyone seen a massive golden key around here?” I grumbled.

KaiEbikoOfficial: it’s a dungeon

KaiEbikoOfficial: so probably in one of the chests around here

“Probably, yeah,” I agreed as I peeked into some of the windows. Unfortunately, there were no immediately visible chests nearby. Just rooms of various shapes and sizes filled with empty tables and chairs.

I grumbled to myself but grudgingly climbed into the first window to start exploring.

Right as I did, a zombie jumped out from behind me somehow and only my reflexes saved me from getting scratched as I threw myself to the side and covered the jerk in fire. I swiftly recovered and drove my sword through its skull as it tried jumping me again.

My eyes darted around, looking for more potential danger as the zombie vanished.

KaiEbikoOfficial: NANA?!

I let out a calming sigh.

“I’m fine. This happens all the time.”

KaiEbikoOfficial: that doesn’t sound like a good thing

I shrugged. “What can I do? It’s either this or slowly starving to death out there. And if I have to die anyway, I’ll go out in a blaze of glory!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: Nana… ;_;

KaiEbikoOfficial: are we sure that’s not your kidnapper’s plan?

KaiEbikoOfficial: like…

KaiEbikoOfficial: he wants you to become this super soldier

I frowned.

“You think this is some kind of messed up experiment…? Like… I’m being conditioned? Getting used to fighting vaguely human-shaped enemies?”

Something about that thought made me feel cold. Of course, I had been concerned about turning into a psychopath, but what if that was the whole point of this?

KaiEbikoOfficial: yeah it’s like he’s trying to slowly convert you to the dark side

KaiEbikoOfficial: you have to fight it!

KaiEbikoOfficial:

don’t lose yourself!

KaiEbikoOfficial: don’t become the villain!

I stared for a second before taking a slow breath and sighing.

“Right… Yeah…” I shook my head. “Who do you take me for, Ebi?! I’m not gonna lose myself! I am Aoto Nana, the chimera of seven races! Something like this isn’t enough to break me!” I confidently proclaimed. “...Although I’m back to being just human now… Whatever! I’m Aoto Nana, the tiny human! Here to mess up all the evil phoenix plans!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: heck yeah!

KaiEbikoOfficial: and I’m Kai Ebiko, your guardian shrimp fairy!

“Yeah! Now let’s keep going!”

I finally looked around to properly survey the room I was in and then stopped.

“Hold on… How does this even work?”

I walked back to the window and to the left of it, where the room stretched beyond what should be possible without expanding into the hallway outside. Sure, it explained how a zombie had gotten behind me, but…

“This is nonsense! Stupid non-euclidian rooms!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: hey that means there could be secret chests hidden around the corners

I groaned and rubbed my face.

“You’re right… I’ll have to search every single room for the key.” I sighed. “Well, I guess I have my work cut out for me. I better get started then…”

I began by exploring the extended part that defied the fabric of space-time and found out that the room kept going around and behind the wall where the window existed and looped all the way around in a vague donut shape back to the window… or more likely, a different window, since it didn’t keep wrapping around and this was clearly a different room.

My eye twitched and I cautiously looked out of that window, only to see that I was looking out of a completely different window, far away from the locked gate, on the opposite side from where I’d entered the other window.

I let out a pained groan and slid a hand down my face.

“It’s a non-eudlician maze! This is going to be such a pain!”

KaiEbikoOfficial: oh my god

KaiEbikoOfficial: okay don’t worry

KaiEbikoOfficial: I gotchu

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’m gonna draw a map

I blinked. “How are you gonna draw a map?”

KaiEbikoOfficial: I dunno but I’m gonna try!

“Okay… thanks, Ebi.” I briefly glanced above Ebi’s messages, but it had somehow gotten even worse. It was all flashing by way too quickly for me to read anything.

“...I gotta get that streamer skill upgrade next. The one with group chats. It feels a bit lame, but I literally can’t read anything but Ebi’s messages right now.” I huffed. “Anyway! Let’s keep exploring, I guess.”

I climbed out of the window into the hallway again and briefly glanced around.

“Actually… If I’m gonna go through every room anyway, I might as well start at the beginning,” I said as I made my way to the entrance of the dungeon again without anything attacking me. But this time, rather than leaving, I randomly picked the left wall and began eyeing the room beyond the first window.

KaiEbikoOfficial: okay!

KaiEbikoOfficial: I’m gonna take notes

KaiEbikoOfficial: write down where every window leads

I grinned.

“Awesome! Thanks, Ebi!”

And with that, the thorough dungeon exploration began.