Ch 6: Date

Part of me noted that it wasn't a very intelligent thing to do. To accept Misha's date. Right after I had sworn off relationships with James present. He was a lawyer. He'd be all over this with his cross-examining and re-crossing and over-analyzation. Why did I do it?

Misha was different from Joe. It was the first thing I noticed over the months. He was quiet and almost as reserved as I was. He'd fold up his calloused hands on the counter as he leaned in to talk to me while I was working the bar. There wasn't any of Joe's wit or sarcasm. There wasn't the smug satisfaction. Whether or not it was because Misha was a beta, I couldn't really say. Maybe I was being fooled by the pine green eyes and the way his curly brown hair would fall over one side of his face and he'd brush it back with a small smile.

He seemed...fragile. It was a weird thing to say for a beta but talking to him over the months, there was always something behind his eyes, a forlorn smile when he thought I wasn't looking, the look of hurt and disappointment when he thought he'd done something wrong to have me ignore him.

So I said yes. We met at 6 pm and he drove me out to Central Park. We walked for a bit, joking about silly things, annoying customers, poking fun at the mysterious alpha ladies who never seemed to show up at the bar they owned.

"Do they really even exist? Can we even know the answer to such a question?" Misha said in the most serious tone he could pull off, holding his chin and looking off into the distance with a thoughtful expression. I chuckled. Some light feeling blossomed in my chest.

Finally, after an hour of small banter, we found a bench in front of an angel statue.

"You think angels are omegas? Deltas maybe?" I joked as we sat down. Misha shrugged and pointed out that angels weren't even thought to be male or female. It was a nice way of avoiding the question. Angels being omegas came from stereotypes and many found the idea contentious.

I leaned back on the bench, hands under my head. "No sub-gender, huh? Must be nice. Not having to deal with all that crap. You think angels have it pretty nice? Not being held back by being born a delta, omega, or whatever else."

"I think anything is possible," Misha said simply. "Anyone can overcome who they are, to do something great."

I stayed silent, not even bothering to muster up the energy to scoff. I didn't want to, anyways. Unlike Joe, Misha tried his hardest not to make me feel bad about my sub-gender. Joe would have laughed in my face by now.

"What sub-gender were your parents? They ever shit on you for not being born an alpha?"

Misha sighed. He wasn't exactly partial to my language. The thought had me smirking up at him.

"My mama was an omega and my father a gamma. They were...good people. They owned a small toy-store in Kirillov....they are gone now."

I blinked in surprise. There was a silence as I contemplated his words, realizing that in all our months of talking, I barely knew anything about Misha or his past. I leaned into him without thinking about it. He jumped slightly, coming out of his stupor, but didn't stop me as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Funny story but my parents are also...gone. Been gone for a while now. My dad was a mechanic and craftsman and my mom always took care of us. She sewed on the side to keep money coming in."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Where'd you grow up?" Misha inquired. He tilted his head so that it was resting on mine. I could feel his hand was very close to mine.

"Brooklyn. It's not a bad borough but...some parts weren't the best. Grew up in a small neighborhood, Tulach's Hills. It's kind of a shit-hole but it was my shit-hole, y'know?"

Misha gave a small chuckle. "Understandable but there has to be something we can do about that mouth of your's."

I smirked. "Oh yeah, there definitely is. In fact, I have a few, very detailed, very suggestive ideas. Well, more than a few."

I burst out laughing as Misha groaned. I didn't feel too bad. He walked right into it.

"I keep forgetting that you're not an omega," he sighed, rubbing his forehead.

I grit my teeth. There it was. Of course he was thinking of an omega. I stood up. I would have attempted to calm down but all I could see behind those words were Joe.

You're a delta. It never meant anything to me. It never meant anything more, ok?

"Solnishko? Conrad? Conrad, wait! Where are you going?" I felt Misha grab my shoulder as I attempted to walk away. When I tried to shove him off, he pulled me back and begged me to calm down. It was infuriating to see the hurt and panic in his beautiful green eyes. Infuriating because I knew I couldn't just leave.

"Conrad, please tell me what is wrong. Was it me?" He said, searching for something in my eyes.

I crossed my arms and looked away. "Do you wish I was an omega? Or even an alpha?"

"Huh?" He looked bewildered. "What? No. No, Conrad, I like you for who you are. A kind, handsome delta of a man with an unholy mouth."

He tried to catch my eyes once more but gave up when I refused to look at him. Grabbing my hand, he brought me back to the bench. In my numb state, I let him.

"What brought this on?"

"Just some stuff in Oregon, alright?" I looked at the angel statue, suddenly wishing I was anywhere else.

Misha was silent for a while. He stared at me for what felt like eons. I figured we'd go the rest of the evening without speaking but then, "What made you leave Oregon?"

Oh. Oh no. How had the conversation gone there? I sighed. I suppose I owed him an explanation at least. Maybe it was because of the look in his eyes, like he was some kicked puppy.

"You ever heard of Ross Edwards?" I glanced up at him.

Something shifted in Misha's eyes. Very slight. Seeing it the second time in another person made me realize that it hadn't been my imagination when I'd noticed it in Joe. What the hell? Did everyone have something to do with the Ross bastard?

"He run your cousin out of business, too?" I muttered sarcastically.

Misha quirked a brow. "Oddly specific," he said simply.

"Yeah, well, seems like everyone's giving me weird looks when I bring him up."

"Everyone knows of him. He's Vanessa's son. Heir to Thorephite," he said. A little too quickly and mechanically for me. I decided not to question him on it considering I likely wasn't getting a solid answer.

"He opened a bookstore chain that was too much competition for my cousin's own bookstore. I...I didn't have any reason to stay." My voice quieted down by the end and Misha gave me a strange look. He didn't seem satisfied.

"Was there really no other reason you left? Please, I just wish not to bring up any...bad memories. I...really like you, Conrad. I really do. I would like to know you more. So I want to know what it was that made you almost leave." He said everything with such a calm inflection, a soothing tone, a voice as nice and low as James's. And if I was still looking at him, I would have noticed his pine green eyes looking at me with a forlorn expression. It was too much. I sighed and leaned back, closing my eyes and sucking in a breath.

"There was this man. An alpha. His name was Joseph Darling." Misha leaned away from me a little suddenly. I didn't ask why at the time. Just continued talking while trying to keep my voice even.

"I thought we were in love. He took me up to a mountain at 5 in the morning to show me this breathtaking view for fuck's sake. He got me an apartment to stay at so we could have all the time to ourselves. It was...amazing." I opened my eyes, looking straight at the statue of the angel in front of me. Archangel Chamuel, it read at the bottom. Angel of love. How amazingly sweet and annoying, I thought, as I continued.

"Of course, I was the dirty little secret. The delta he was experimenting with. In the end, he kicked me to the street, and I had nothing left in Oregon with the bookstore closed. So I came back. And I told myself I'd never do another relationship again unless it was with another delta. Only other deltas understand. We've always got each other when the world kicks us in the balls. Or pussy."

I jumped when I felt a hand rest over mine. I finally looked over to Misha. He was giving me another one of his small smiles, the one that made my heart do weird things.

"Thank you for telling me," he said, bringing my hand up to his lips. Oh man, was he?-He was! I blushed furiously as he kissed my hand like I was some omega prince in a cheesy romance, hastily looking away while he chuckled. With his other hand, he turned my face to look at him. Our noses where only inches apart.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Solnishko. You didn't deserve it. But I want to show you I'll be different. I like you. I really do, and I won't hide that from the world. If I ever say or do anything moronic, slap me, ok? But please, I ask that you give me a chance. I promise you won't regret it."

My eyes wandered over his face, searching, thinking. There was sincerity there. Something genuine. And yet, some small part of, the more sane, practical part of me knew his words weren't binding. I had learned that the hard way once.

"You shouldn't make promises," was all I said. Before he could reply, I held up a finger. "But...I'll give you a chance. I'll...I'll try to let us make this work."

He smiled like he'd won the lottery. A big, wide smile this time. I wasn't expecting him to kiss me, but he did. It was quick. A small peck. But when he pulled back, I couldn't help but smile. For the first time in months, I let myself feel something I didn't think I'd let myself feel again.

-8-

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