: Part 5 – Chapter 29

For the past two nights, I’ve snuck out of my condo in the name of having hot and wild sex with Beau. In his bed.

The guilt is consuming, but so is the sex. It’s what I’d tell my therapist if I had one, but instead, it’s a feeling I carry with me every waking second of my new, secret life.

Beau Banks is everything I thought he’d be and more. I can’t get enough of our secret romance, but every time I lie to Avery, I feel like my nose and my guilt grow seven times as big.

I run across the street carefully, making sure to watch for the crazy Miami traffic as my heels avoid puddles from the afternoon rain shower and pausing when a cab beeps its horn in the lane just in front of me. It’s a common thing here, getting rain nearly every day, and I’ve learned to navigate water like a pro, but in these six-inch heels, I still need to be on my game.

Beau stands on the sidewalk of the restaurant, his smart suit from work still in place, and I move toward him at a run, a full smile taking over my mouth. He’s so handsome it’s disarming, and I completely let go of my inhibition as he pulls me in for a five-alarm kiss right there on the sidewalk.

“Hi, beautiful.”

On the inside, teenage me squeals her giddy delight at the sound of his greeting, and I allow a smile that reaches all the way to the corners of my eyes from the version of me now.

I’m feeling more and more confident in the viability of us as a match by the day, and tonight, two weeks into agreeing to give this thing a real shot, going to this special dinner together feels like a long time coming.

Avery is out with some of her friends from hot yoga, and I begged off with excuses of a cold starting to settle in.

I know I’m going to have to tell her the truth about Beau and me at some point, but this is all so new. I just want a little more time to ourselves before I do. I’ve waited what feels like my whole dang life for this fantasy to become a reality, and I’m in no rush to change that.

For now, I need to keep my perfect Beau and June bubble intact.

Beau leads me inside with a pull of my hand, notifying the hostess of our arrival and getting us escorted to a table in no time at all. Cardone is one of the hottest restaurants in the city, so I’m surprised he was able to get a reservation at all, but he makes it seem like it’s no big thing.

In this case, I guess our wealth and connections really do make all the difference.

The back room is dark, lit only with candles, and French glass doors separate it from the rest of the restaurant. Blood-red pillows are on high-backed black velvet chairs, and a waiter with a white linen draped over his arm waits at the side of the table.

Beau holds out the chair on the far side of the room for me to take a seat first, and I awkwardly curtsy before sitting down. His smile is warm and wide.

“What was that little thing you just did?” he asks, his smile equal parts sexy and amused. “Did you just curtsy?”

“I don’t know.” I widen my eyes as I look around the room. “I figured you must be royalty with this fancy setup.”

He chortles. “I figured you’d want privacy just in case we ran into anyone we know.”

“Oh. Yeah,” I agree. “That’s probably a good idea.” I focus on putting my napkin in my lap and taking a sip of water as he takes the chair across from me. My cheeks are aflame—I can feel them—but I’m not entirely sure why.

“I’m not trying to keep us a secret,” he hedges carefully. I guess he knows me well enough to know I’m having a minor internal crisis. “But I know that’s what you want.”

“It’s just so much easier for now, don’t you think?” I question, but an uncertain grimace shows my shaky truth. “Until we establish some footing? I mean, what happens if you decide to move on in a month? Suddenly, I’m not allowed at Banks’ family dinners and have to settle for my parents’ empty house instead?” I cringe and shake my head. “Sounds terrible.”

“That would never happen,” Beau assures. “If it doesn’t work out between us for some reason, everything with the family will be fine.”

“Are you sure?” I push, knowing Beau’s tendency to promise the impossible. He’s well-meaning, always, and so ambitious it’s admirable, but this world we live in is hardly as perfect as we want it to be. Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes, even, everything falls apart.

He pauses, but he makes a point to lock his steady gaze with mine. “I’ll make sure of it, okay?”

I shrug, playing off the ocean of anxiety that churns inside me now. The Bankses are the only real family I’ve ever known. I can’t imagine what I’d do without them. “I just don’t know how Avery is going to react either way.”

“Why wouldn’t she want her best friend to be with her brother?”

Beau’s thinking is simple, how I imagine most men’s is. But in the female mind, I know it’s more complicated than that. It would be for me, and all I have to go on is my imagination. My parents thought having one child to ignore was more than enough.

I shake my head instead of answering. I don’t know how to explain it.

“All right. Enough Avery for tonight. Let’s focus on us.”

“Okay,” I agree.

He’s right. I didn’t get trussed up in a lace bra, thong, and a dress I can’t breathe in for nothing. This is Beau we’re talking about, and I’m on a date with him. Younger me would be absolutely apoplectic. Why on earth am I wasting it talking about his sister?

“You look really handsome tonight,” I say, allowing myself the unexpected privilege of appreciating his hotness out loud.

“Oh yeah?”

“Definitely. Hard-cut jaw, just the right amount of scruff, and a well-fitted suit atop your muscles?” I close my eyes dramatically, push a hand to my chest, and then open them again. “It’s your best look.”

He laughs. “What’s my worst?”

I shrug. “Probably the Tyvek suits you and Neil wore two years ago when your mom got a wild hair to paint the pool house door on Labor Day weekend.”

He groans. “It might be a slight disadvantage that you know so much information. I’m used to being able to show a highlight reel for at least the first three weeks of dating.”

“You?” I guffaw. “Are you kidding? I don’t usually show guys pictures of me during that braces with a short, layered bob phase from eighth grade, and you saw it live and in full Technicolor.”

“You were still cute.” His smile is delectable enough to eat, but his words annoy a glower out of me.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I question on a scoff.

“You were!” he insists. “In, like, a young Justin Bieber kind of way.”

“Good grief,” I groan, dropping my face into my hands. The waiter sets a plate on the spot directly in front of me, and my eyebrows draw together in confusion. I wait for him to step away and then lean in toward Beau to whisper. “Um…I don’t remember ordering.”

Beau smiles. “I preplanned everything when I made the special request for the room. I hope you don’t mind. I made sure not to include any avocado or shellfish.”

“Thanks.” My mouth curls up at the corners. “I mean, the shellfish thing could kill me, so that was definitely a good move, but the avocado is just slimy.”

“Yeah.” Beau’s eyes dance with amusement. “I remember.”

“You really know a lot about me already, huh?”

“I do.” Beau leans forward to grasp my hands. “But I want to know more.”

Me too, Beau. Me too.