: Chapter 32

“Dude, I swear you were green by the time my brother showed up on his boat last night!” Avery says through a laugh, her ass on my desk atop the pile of papers I very much need. “You’ve got to do some reps, come out with me a little more, get your game back. I can’t be taking a lightweight everywhere I go!” She snorts. “What if Beau hadn’t shown up?”

“Yeah,” I muse vaguely. If he hadn’t shown up, then I definitely wouldn’t have ended up having sex with him. On his boat. On the open water for anyone to see.

“Did you actually yak? Or did you just feel sick? Because you actually look a little skinnier.”

“Ave.” I eye her shiftily. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, now you are!” she bursts with a laugh. “But I mean yesterday.”

Technically speaking, I didn’t feel good. I felt consumed. By Beau. So, kind of the same difference, right?

Right.

“Yeah, I definitely didn’t feel good,” I lie, raging guilt niggling at my every nerve.

“Well, you look better today. Really good, actually.” She swings her legs back and forth on my desk. “Have you made some changes to your skin care?”

It’s your brother.

“Avery, I need to get back to work,” I say instead of answering, a dismissive laugh making the words raspy. “I’m supposed to take those campaign projections down to Accounting right now, and I can’t do that if you’re sitting on them.”

She rolls her eyes, hopping off my desk with a thud. “You know, I really hope you get some sort of award at the end of the year for all this hustling you’re doing. Like a trophy. Or an Emmy!”

I laugh. “You could do some work too, you know? Then I wouldn’t have to hustle so much.”

She wrinkles her nose, her whole face disgusted. “Yuck. That sounds terrible.” Her face morphs into a smile, and she snaps her fingers in front of my face as an idea hits her. “You know what, though? I will go down to the break room and get a snack, so I’m out of your hair if that helps.”

“Oh yeah. It’s like I barely have anything to do now.”

“Great!” she replies cheekily. “I’ll see you later, then. But seriously, try not to concentrate so hard.” She gestures a hand in front of her eyebrows. “It’s bad for your elevens.”

I snag the file folder from where she was sitting, power walking to the accounting office at the far end of the floor. Brad, one of the numbers guys with a big brain, takes the folder gratefully but doesn’t say much else, not that that’s a surprise. He’s not a very social person.

I check in with Chris and Neil, running some documents down to HR for them on the third floor, and then get back to my rounds of checking in on everyone on the team. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that stopping in Beau’s office first isn’t strategic and selfish.

Unfortunately for everyone else these days, seeing him is a little—okay, a lot—more fun than seeing them.

Plus, after making excuses with Avery, I’m feeling an extra need to talk to him. This whole game of secrets and sneaking around and lying to my best friend is becoming an albatross around my neck.

Brow furrowed, he’s typing on his computer when I knock on the jamb of his office door, but when he looks up and spots me, his whole demeanor changes.

Serious is a memory; concentration is gone. Hello, handsome-as-hell smile that reaches his eyes.

Instantly, I’m warm all over, like having his attention directed at me is the equivalent of being wrapped up in a cozy, already toasty flannel blanket on a chilly winter day. I only ever dreamed that he would look at me this way.

“Hey there,” he says, his voice is all raspy from concentration, and my mind drifts back to my conversation with Avery as I round his desk and come to a stop beside his black leather chair.

He spins around to face me, full-blown smile still engaged, but I don’t quite return it. It’s hard to feel happy right now when I feel like I’m constantly lying to someone I love like a sister.

Of course he notices. “Wow. Don’t look so happy to see me.”

“Get real, Beau. I’m always happy to see you.” I laugh, smiling in apology. “I’m just… I don’t know how much longer I can do this…”

His eyes widen, his hands come up, and his fingertips dig into my hips as he stands. “Do what?”

“The secret-keeping,” I answer, my voice just barely over a whisper. “I know it was my idea not to say anything and all, but I don’t think I can lie to Avery much longer. It’s killing me.”

“Let’s tell her, then,” he says straightaway, and panic locks up my chest.

“Now?!” I feel like a psychopath, given the fact that I’m the one who just said we shouldn’t keep it a secret, but I’m scared. Terrified, actually.

How will Avery even react? Will she be mad? Furious? Hate me?

He reads me correctly, and his face gentles as he suggests, “How about next week? We’ll get through Thanksgiving first, and then we’ll tell the whole family. That way, you don’t have to stress about the holiday being awkward.”

“Okay.” I let out an exhale of air on a whooshing rush. A grateful smile follows. “Yeah. That’s a good plan.” I stare up into his gorgeous, entrancing eyes, and it’s almost pathetic how quickly my mind shifts. “Though, I’m not entirely excited about not being able to touch or hug or kiss you.”

He smirks, squeezing my hips gently. “We’ll find our moments.”

“When?” I whisper.

“Every chance we get.” And he punctuates that statement by flashing a secret but sexy wink at me.

His hand finds mine, our fingertips dusting together lightly. It feels forbidden and top secret, and I’m ravenous to cross all the boundaries I should keep firmly in place.

I want his lips on mine and our bodies pushed close together. I want to feel his heartbeat in my chest and have him touch the wetness between my legs.

It’s a dangerous urge, one I can tell he’s considering giving in to just as much I am by the swipe of his tongue across his teeth.

I tingle as we move a little closer, the hum of our bodies vibrating nearly audible between us. I smile and he winks again. Temptation taunts us both.

“Hey!” Seth’s voice snaps unexpectedly into the space. I jump, but Beau manages to stay still. I turn around woodenly, hoping all the dirty things in my mind don’t show on my face. “Juniper, I’ve been looking for you. I need you to go down to the graphics department and pick up my prototypes.”

I nod quickly, springing into action. I don’t look back at Beau as I scoot past Seth at the door and hurry down the hall, and I don’t hear what they say after I’m gone. But it’s not because I don’t want to.

Longing to do just that burns at my skin as I force myself away, knowing I have to act as casually as possible in front of everyone in this office. Especially Seth. He’d be the worst person of all to find out what’s going on between us. He’d love more than anything to find controversy where Beau is concerned. Which, considering the mess he and Bethany created a year ago, is the most ironic form of irony possible.

But Seth and his shenanigans aren’t my focus for long.

Beau’s words repeat in my mind. We’ll get through Thanksgiving first, and then we’ll tell the whole family.

Soon, we’re going to tell Avery, and then Neil and Diane. The people who are my found family, and the ones I care more about than almost anything in this world.

We just have to get through Thanksgiving first.