Reed - Insecurities

The time is fast approaching to both things, final exams and the birth of my daughter. Reena is officially eight months pregnant and she's glowing, even though she doesn't think so, I do. Every time I take a glance at her when she's doing something, I just can't help but be in awe. I am truly grateful for everything she's done, especially when I see her struggling to do the little things. Whenever she's trying to get up from bed or from around the table, or when she's trying to put on her clothes. It makes me smile and happy, especially whenever I help her. Sometimes though, her emotions are all mixed up and she goes off on me, but I know that's due to the fact she's just tired because she's been sleeping much less and school and studying aren't helping either.

I try to always be supportive and my parents are always there to help, especially dad. He's always giving my advice on what and what not to do and without it, I know I would be messing things up. He's told me how to treat her, how sometimes I should give her a little space to catch a breath but I should be close by so I can help her at anytime she needs me to. At a time like this, my dad says I'm here completely for her. I'm at her beck and call, and even though I'll be tired and exhausted from my tasks, I still have to put her first.

Today is one of those days Reena is not particularly in a great mood. She's been complaining of heartburn and fatigue, and last night I woke up to the sound of her crying. She wouldn't tell me what's wrong but my gut tells me it's fear. The closer we get to her delivering, the more I've noticed a change where whenever the topic about it comes up, she completely shuts down and I can literally see the fear in her eyes, but no matter how I try she doesn't want to talk to me about it and it's a bit frustrating because I want to help, even if it's just to talk.

I've asked my mom to talk to her, advice from my dad, but Reena won't open up. She just smiles and nods all the time. Reena is a strong woman, but sometimes she's too strong, she never wants to admit or show any weakness.

So today I've decided to give it another shot, and so I'm going to take her out by the lake. I'm also going to take my mom's camera and take pictures, it;s something I've been wanting to do and I feel this is the time.

"Reed." Reena is in the seat across from me, I;m driving to the lake but she doesn't know. "Where are we going?"

"I've told you, it's a surprise."

she groans and looks across at me, "And no, I can't tell you so don't bother asking."

She narrows her eyes at me before turning her attention to the bag in her hand, "This dress, I know it can't be for a restaurant because it can't even cover my belly."

I laugh, and she mocks me. "It's not funny Max."

"Stop worrying, you'll be fine."

"Mhmm."

Within fifteen minutes we arrive and when I look over at her she's staring out the window, when she looks back at me she has a small smile on her face.

"I thought you could only go skinny dipping at nights."

A brow arches and her smile widens. "What if I wanna see you better?"

She laughs and I lean, stealing a kiss. "Get dressed." I open the door and get out, moving to the back to get the sheet, pillow, and food. I move closer to the lake, near to cherry blossom tree and begin unpacking everything. I'm just about finish when I notice her coming from the car, she's walking timidly towards me and she's covering her belly because the dress is really revealing. But man, she's beautiful. Today her hair is straight and it's down her back. I can't wait to see her walking down the isle but I want her hair to be in its naturally curly state then.

"You have to stop looking at me like that." she's right in front of me, rubbing her exposed tummy and looking in my eyes.

"You look beautiful." She rolls her eyes but I can see the small smile she's trying to hide.

"Help me sit."

I hold her hand and help her down on the sheet, then I take the fruits from the basket and give her, and while she's eating them I go for the camera in the car and return with it.

"Oh hell no." She bursts out laughing when she sees me with it and tries covering her face.

"I already took ten pictures." She looks up at me and gasps.

"You didn't?"

I snap the camera, and she laughs. "But I did."

"So this is a photo shoot?" She places a strawberry at her lip and I take another one.

"Something like that."

She folds her legs and drops her head back and breathes. I snap another shot.

She smiles and closes her eyes, "Sit with me."

I sit beside and place the camera down, she holds her head up and looks at me. "I know I've been difficult the last few weeks and I just wanted to thank you for putting up with that side of me."

"And you're welcome." I kiss her on her forehead. "But there's something I want to ask you?"

"Okay."

"Why have you been crying?"

I see her body go still and she slowly she turns her head and looks at me, I take a deep breath and continue. "There's something you're not telling me, something I know that's scaring you and I just want you to tell me."

Her eyes continue to stare until she leans forward and takes a deep sigh. "Reed..." she sighs and I see her head drop.

I take a hold of her hand and kiss her on the cheek. "You can tell me."

She doesn't say anything for a long minute, then she sighs. "What if something happens?"

"What?"

She looks up at me and her eyes are wet with tears. "What if something happens and I can't do it?" A tear rolls down her cheek and I pull her in for a hug. "What if I mess up as a mom?" It's just a whisper but I hear her, completely. "What if I can't do it, Reed?" Her voice breaks and she starts trembling.

"Reena, nothing is wrong with being afraid, but you can not let it consume you. Have you ever taught that maybe you can do it, that maybe you're going to be the best most loving and caring mom ever?"

Her trembling stops and I let her go, so I can see her face. "I haven't."

I hold her chin up, "Well, it's time you did."

"I know, I know." She wipes at her eyes and hugs me.

"And you don't have to worry, I'll be right by your side."

"I know." She kisses me and I kiss her back.

For the next thirty minutes, we eat and talk and just enjoy each others company. As I'm laying down looking at her, she turns to look at me, "Help me up." I do and she moves to the lake and starts walking in.

I get up and move towards her, then stop and grab the camera. When I get to the edge, she's almost half way in, looking down and holding her tummy. It's beautiful to behold, and so I take a picture and when I see it I smile and go in after her.

We stand together for a long time talking and enjoying the sunset, then when it starts getting dark we head back, pack up and drive home. When we get home, we take a shower then she goes off to study and I head out back to help my dad with the car.

"It worked dad, thanks." He's working on the engine and his hands are completely covered in black oil. As I walk up to him, I notice the grease is also in his hair.

"I told you it would, it's all about setting the right mood." He runs his hand through his hair to pull it from his face and I arch a brow at him.

"Think it times you got a haircut." He smiles at me.

"I would, but your mom seems to like it this way."

Hearing him say that I immediately take off my shirt and grab a bottle of motor oil from the floor, and change the topic. "So what needs fixing?"

He notices and turns to give me a smile, however he doesn't say anything and together we begin working on his old classic.

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Sorry for the late reply guys, uni has started and I have less time to update but I will try.

Tell me what you guys think of this chapter, please vote and as always HAPPY READING!