Chapter 18-Amara

I finally came home at 10pm, Violet had me out all that time after lunch. That girl could seriously talk. I had fun though, conversation came easy with her and she took me all over the shops. I loved the way it was set up, all the business hustle and bustle was in the south part of the territory and it had a city vibe to it. However, she knew so many people. I can’t count how many times we stopped to talk to random people, the girl had enough social in her for the both of us.

It’s 11pm and I’m ready for bed, walking out of the bathroom drying my face I lay down in bed, hoping Nisha comes to my room soon for some snuggles. I just close my eyes when Roman mindlinks me.

‘Come to my room.’ he says and cuts the link. What the hell? Demanding ass alpha. I am too tired to fuck!

I crawl out of bed just as Nisha comes in. I picked him up while walking out. Shit, which one is his room? I remember Seth telling me I was close to his room but I don’t remember how many doors down he said.

‘Come get me, I don’t remember where your room is. Also, I’m only coming to your room because I assume your bed is more comfortable than mine. Blame your sister for my sleepiness’ I mindlink him. Not even a minute later I see a door open. Ah right! 3 down from me.

I walk up to him as he takes me into his arms for a moment and I smile, not able to hug him because I’m still holding Nisha. I walk past him into his room and practically jump into his bed. If he can make himself so at home in my room then I’ll do the same!

I hear him laugh, probably at my boldness but I couldn’t care less because this is the comfiest bed I have ever laid in. Oh and it smells so strongly of him. Tamisra starts purring in my head and I realize she’s barely talked to me the last couple days. ‘I’m forward with you, but I want to let you take everything in. I’m around when you need me though, you just haven’t needed my comfort as much since being here’ I get sad for a moment, thinking that she would just leave me and be like those wolves that hardly talk to their humans. ‘Shut up and let me enjoy this bed and his scent. I’m not leaving you I’m just letting you adjust for a little’ she huffs and goes back to purring, making me sound like a chainsaw.

I feel the opposite side of the bed dip as he wraps me into his strong arms and pulls my back to his chest. Why is this so perfect? He’s not even my mate, but I feel so at peace.

“You’re on my side you know” he says before kissing my shoulder

“Too bad, it’s my side tonight. I’m too tired to move” I said as I turned to rest my head on his chest, eyes closed

“You just moved”

“No, I adjusted, there’s a difference” I say already starting to fade into sleep

“Hmmm. By the way should I put a towel down?”

“Huh?” I say opening my eyes and looking up at him

“Just wondering if I’ll need a towel, you made a slip and slide out of drool all over me last night.” I blush at this, but I can’t help it!

“Ah my bad, didn’t realize I forgot to have you sign my disclaimer. Couldn’t have bothered you too bad cause you called me here tonight.” I tease

“You don’t get embarrassed easily do you?”

“Nope. I am who I am, take it or leave it” I say and snuggle closer to him. Nisha eventually climbs up and lays beside my back as I fall into a blissful sleep.

I didn’t set an alarm for this morning because I don’t have training until 2pm, so I internally groan when I wake up and I’m still in the Alpha’s arms. It must only be around 7, a morning I could sleep in gone to waste by my stupid brain forcing me awake. I resist consciousness while turning over so that my back is to him but I still rest my head on his arm.

I hear a chuckle and wonder what’s so funny, but I feel him turn towards me, the arm my head is on going across my chest, and the other snaking around my waist.

“I’ve never seen someone who moves so much in their sleep. If I wasn’t holding you, you would be sleeping with your feet at my head and your head hanging off the side of the bed.” he says. Oh his morning voice is heavenly

“Mmm keep talking. You sound so nice, talk me back to sleep. I’m not ready to be up yet.” I say in my own morning voice which I would personally compare to one of those humans that has smoked cigarettes for their entire life.

“It’s 10am, why do you still want to sleep?” he says back

“That’s WHY I want to sleep! I am not a morning person. Talk to me in an hour and I’ll consider consciousness.” I whine “besides don’t you have Alpha things to go do?”

“I do, but I’ll do them later. I wanted to stay in bed with you for a little.” My heart flutters when he says this and I scoot closer to him, even though I’m practically on top of him already

“If you want me to let you sleep, I suggest you stop rubbing your ass on my dick little Devil”

“Fine fine fine. Let me go back to sleep!” I say, not swatting at him. He laughs but remains quiet, rubbing his hand up and down my body gently, and I half fall back asleep, now wanting to stay awake to enjoy this.

I need to talk to him sooner than I thought, I can’t put it off. It hasn’t even been a week and I’m already falling for him, too easily. I can’t jump into a …whatever this is because it sure isn’t anything like a fuckbuddy, but I don’t know if I could just fuck him now. Either way, it would break my heart when his mate comes along. Tamisra whines in my head when I think this.

‘You attached too, Tami?’ I ask and her sadness is enough of an answer for me.

‘But the witch said I wouldn’t be able to identify my true mate! He could be our mate,’ I remind her. But suddenly I feel uneasy. I don’t want a mate right now, but I don’t want to lose him. She shakes her head at me

‘I don’t think so, Mara. I can’t communicate with his wolf. Let’s think about this logically. We can’t jump into another relationship so quickly. We barely know him.’ She reminds me

‘Tamisra, I have spent the last two and a half years forcing us to love someone we didn’t love. I don’t want to spend anymore time forcing myself to do anything. If he shares our feelings, I will just simply ask that we don’t put a label on it and ask for some grace. I don’t really know what else to say.’

“What are you thinking?” he says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I’m not ready to have the conversation yet, the thought of him saying I was just his fuckbuddy made my heart sink. I would have this conversation with him, just not right now, I promised both myself and Tamisra. It hasn’t even been a week, he could turn out to be a weirdo anyways. Tamisra shakes her head and lays her head in her paws

“Baby?” he says again when I don’t respond. I sigh,

knowing he could probably hear my racing heart so there was no point in trying to pretend.

“Just talking to my wolf is all.” I say tapping his arm to let me up “do you have an extra toothbrush?” I ask, trying to change topics.

He looks concerned for a moment before answering. “Yeah come with me, I’ll get it for you. Do you need a shower?” I nod my head and get up, shivering at the loss of his warmth while I follow him to his bathroom.

He reaches under his sink before handing me one and then walks over to the shower and starts it. Almost immediately the mirrors start to fog. I brush my teeth and start stripping, needing the hot water to warm me up. Stepping into the stream I look at him, I must have had an expectant look on my face because he smiles and takes his sweatpants off before crawling in after me and turning on the shower head on the opposite wall.

I stand in the stream of hot water for a few minutes, willing it to wash away my inner turmoil. I can feel his eyes on me, but he doesn’t say anything. Just comes up behind me and pulls me close, dipping his head into my neck and kissing me.

“I won’t pretend to understand what you’re going through, but I would be there for you if you let me” he says quietly. I feel tears prick my eyes, he wouldn’t say and do these sweet things if he didn’t feel the connection too, right?

“Amara, baby, tell me what’s wrong. You were fine until your wolf started talking to you” he says, turning me around and lifting my chin to face him. He’s giving me a clear opening, but I’m too scared of his answer, too scared that it would break me and I barely even know him. I look down, running my hands over his chest and laying my head on it.

“What is this to you?” I start, keeping my voice soft “I barely know you, yet I’m here in front of you, and I don’t want to be anywhere else. I know that probably makes me sound pathetic, bu-“ he cuts me off with a kiss to the lips, gently cupping my cheeks

“I like you, I want to know you better. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since you walked into my office. I’ve never dated, no one has ever caught my interest as you have. I know we have a lot to learn about each other, but I want you and so does my wolf. I won’t pressure you, I don’t really know what the right steps to take here are, though” he says, making tears spill onto my cheeks.

What was all this emotion? I don’t really know what’s gotten into me, but I just start crying. I cry because I’m so happy he wants me, I cry for the 2 years I wasted, I cry that my parents aren’t here to make it better, I cry because I’m so goddamn confused. For a long time I just cried and cried.

The only time anyone other than Sophie or Seth ever saw me cry was when my parents died, yet here I was blubbering like a pup into this beautiful man’s chest hair while he just held me tightly. Finally I manage to get myself together

“Sorry I…don’t know what that was” I hiccup “but all I can ask for is some grace. I don’t want to put a label on us, I just want us to be open and honest with each other. I don’t think I could handle another lie, so please if you lose interest or find your mate…just tell me. I can’t promise you anything and I quite literally have not shit to offer you, so just bear with me, and please if you stop wanting me, just tell me.” I say, still hiccuping like the big lady child I am. But whatever, all my cards were on the table.

“Don’t apologize, I see you. I see that you put on a brave face for the world. I promise to be honest with you. My only request is that we don’t see other people.”

“Done.” I say instantly “I wasn’t even planning on seeing you, but I’m glad I did”

He smiles and kisses me again

“Turn around, I’ll wash your hair,” he says. I almost don’t believe that he’s never dated before, he was saying and doing all the right things. But I believed him when he said he wouldn’t lie to me. I don’t know why I’m blindly trusting him, but I am.

We take turns washing each other, I’ve done this with Felix but it never felt so intimate, I never lived in the moment. I just waited for it to be over. Eventually we get out and dry off. Before I can put my clothes back on he pulls me back into his bed.

“Stay in bed with me today, please. I have Aston handling the pack. I know you’re excited to train, but I promise to let you make it up for another day” he says, pulling me on top of him. I bite my lip, pretending to think about it.

“Hmmm. Fine” I say as I learn down and capture his lips