Chapter 34-Amara

After Roman dropped me off with the girls, I’d done my best to try and simply hang out with them, to talk with them, to enjoy their presence. But the darkness swirling inside me didn’t let up, I had to count my breaths a couple times when black started to swirl into my vision. They had asked me a couple times what was wrong, noticing that I wasn’t my usual cheerful, goofy self. Each time I’d simply smiled and said all was well, just that I was missing my mate. They nodded in understanding, but they didn’t actually understand. They would be filled in eventually, by their mates, or in Violet’s case, by Gemma or Roman himself. I wonder if they would fear me. I wouldn’t blame them if they did. I feared me, feared what I was capable of.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I stood up and went back to Roman’s room, saying that I was feeling unwell and needed to lie down. They probably knew I was lying, but they didn’t protest. Tami didn’t say anything, I think she was actually trying to siphon some of the darkness and I laughed bitterly, realizing my inner turmoil would somehow be much worse if it weren’t for her. I don’t know how it could get much worse.

When I got to Roman’s room, I laid down in his bed. The omegas had indeed changed the sheets and opened a few windows to air out the room. I kind of wished they hadn’t, I wanted to lay in bed and let his scent calm me. Not knowing when he would be back, I went and grabbed one of his shirts and changed my clothes so I was only wearing that. When I laid in bed, Nisha jumped up and snuggled into me and I found some comfort in my little buddy. I pet him as he purred and let me kiss his cute little head.

There was no way I would be able to nap, and the only person other than my mate or my brother who would make me feel better was Sophie. I looked at the clock, it was only 3pm, she should still be alone. Even if she wasn’t, I had no one to hide from in that pack anymore, it didn’t matter if her friends or her mate found out my location. Having made up my mind, I found her contact and hit the facetime button. She picked up after two rings

“Amara!” she said smiling, but I could see she was worried about something

“Soph? What’s wrong, why do you look worried?” I asked her. I felt the blackness creep up on the edge of my vision as I thought about something happening to my friend to make her worry.

“Nothing gets past you does it? Can’t even get a hello?” she teases me, when I don’t respond she sighs and continues “Felix left the pack a couple days ago. At first I thought it was just for pack business so I didn’t think much of it, but when he didn’t come back today I started to get worried. When I asked Colton, he said that Felix left without telling anyone, presumably to find you…I’m sorry I was going to call you sooner, I just didn’t know how to say it. I don’t want you to worry he will find you, I know you’re prote-” she starts to talk fast like she does when she gets worked up so I cut her off

“He had found me two days ago. Roman took care of him, he’s not a problem anymore. That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Are you alone?” I say, breezing over the fact that Felix was now a pile of ashes in the trash can of Roman’s dungeons. I watch as Sophie’s eyes widen and she nods her head, confirming she’s alone

“Yeah, Colton won’t be home until tonight.” she says

“Well you better sit down, this one is a wild ride. Felix came to the border asking for me back, Roman went initially but he called me there and told me Felix was a demon. He locked him in his dungeons trying to figure out what he wanted with me and he just said that there was a group of vampires after me, and he made a deal with them that he could keep me, saying I was strong and would make him look stronger. I had been putting off reading that letter and when I finally did…” I looked down swallowing as tears welled in my eyes ``It was from my mom, she told me that she wasn’t my real mother. My real mother was an angel and died protecting me, and apparently my real father is some demon king dude. Oh and apparently, he’s gonna come for me and probably try and drag me down to the underworld or some shit. Oh, and the vampire attack that killed my parents? Yeah my fault too. They died for me and I wasn’t even their actual daughter.” I finished as a few tears spilled onto my cheeks. I left out the part about the whole tribrid prophecy thing, I don’t even know what that meant. I’m not even a trained warrior, how the hell was I so strong that there’s been a prophecy going around about me for however many years? Who knows if I’m even the tribrid, I don’t feel any angelic powers or whatever, so maybe they’re all mistaken.

Sophie doesn’t say anything, her mouth is parted and her eyes are even wider than before. She just stares at me for a few more moments, letting it all sink in.

“Amara…nothing is your fault. You didn’t know. Both sets of your parents made a choice of their own free will to protect you. How would either of your parents be feeling right now if they were still alive and you weren’t? The parents you grew up with, they could have dumped you at any time, even resented you or treated you badly? Did they do any of that? No. When your mother died she probably knew she was going to die, and she did so willingly. She could have climbed up that tree and hid with you, but she didn’t. She kept the vampires away from you, kept them distracted while your dad did the same. I don’t know your birth mother…but she could have gotten rid of you before you even were born. But she didn’t either. And as for the whole demon father thing, well…you at least have a live parent now right?” Sophie says, also tearing up

“I don’t even know the guy. I just can’t help but feel like me simply existing killed so many people…” I say trailing off

“I would probably feel the same way, Mara. But what would you tell me? You’d tell me something along the lines of ‘woman up! You’re here now, don’t disgrace their sacrifice by wallowing in your sadness’” she says, pitching her voice up a few octaves to imitate me and I couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah she was right, if I let the vampires take me, if I let myself continue to drown in my sorrow, my parents died for nothing. I won’t let their deaths be for nothing

“Yeah, you’re right, Soph. Thank you.” I say and when I turn my head to look at Nisha, I hear Sophie let out a gasp. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell her about the whole mate thing

“You’re marked! You crazy bitch, you thought you could just leave that out?!” Sophie screeches

“Oh yeah about that. Did I also mention after I read that letter I apparently went beast mode and the barrier spell on me broke? Apparently, once that broke I could sniff out my mate and well…”

“Well WHAT? Is it the big sexy Alpha?” she says and I growl at her for calling my mate sexy and she glares at me “don’t fucking growl at me you feral ass demon dog thing. It is the Alpha isn’t it?”

“Yes.” I say glaring back at her, demon puppy. What an ass!

“Possessive ass woman, you know my own mate is more than enough for me. Anyways, what happened? Tell me all about how you found out” she says, brushing off my little bout of jealousy. I continue to tell her everything, and we talk for probably another hour. I snap my head up when I can smell my mate approaching.

“Gotta go Soph! Love you bye” I say and hang up, letting the happiness that he’s near flood me.

As soon as he opens the door I jump on him, kissing his whole face and then hugging him tightly. He chuckles as he lifts my chin up and kisses me roughly. I can feel his happiness and love, along with a little bit of relief come through the bond and I make sure to push my own emotions back. When he pulls away I growl, and he laughs again.

“Come. I’m taking you to a cottage on the territory where we don’t have to deal with any interruptions.” he says before pecking my lips and setting me down

“What do you mean?” I say, confused

“Which part of that didn’t you understand, hmm?” he teases as I narrow my eyes

“Don’t you have Alpha stuff to do? And I don’t even have any clothes packed?” I say

“Aston is going to take over my alpha duties until we return. I wish I could take you on an actual honeymoon, but this will do for now. And…” he says leaning down to me again and whispering in my ear “you won’t need any clothes” he finishes and goosebumps rise on my skin and my core clenches. I swallow, trying to stay focused but I just nod my head. He laughs again and picks me up bridal style, carrying me out of the room and down the stairs, presumably to this so called cottage