Chapter 40-Amara

I’m, quite violently, woken up by a familiar voice yelling at me and then jumping on top of me. It takes me a minute before realization dawns on me and then I’m squealing.

“What are you doing here?! How?!” I yell as I push Sophie off of me, sit up, and then tackle her again in another hug

“Your grumpy Alpha asked me to come a couple days ago. Oh by the way, he definitely thinks I’m an idiot. I blubbered the whole way up the stairs. I don’t know how you’re not scared of him, he’s a lot more intimidating in person. Which is saying something because the idea of him was already pretty freaking scary.” she says

“I’ve told you a million times he’s a softie, and I probably put him in a bad mood because I may or may not have thrown a hissy fit before I came up here.” I say and cringe

“Girl, what did you do?” Sophie says rolling her eyes and laying down next to me on Roman’s side. I stifle a growl that she is laying in my mates scent. She rolls her eyes, and punches my shoulder “Sit over here then, possessive jealous ass. You’re lucky I remember how jealous I was when I was first mated to Colton. Don’t expect that to go away any time soon”

“Great, so I’m gonna be a snarling mess anytime any female comes near my mate for the foreseeable future?” I roll my eyes back at her, but I switch spots with her anyways. Stupid primal instincts.

“You’ll manage, after the first month it calmed down for me. But who knows, maybe you will take longer since he’s an alpha. Anyways, what did you throw a hissy fit over?”

“Even better! Gah. And some fae dude recognized me and started talking about the vampires wanting to abduct me and make me their evil slave and shit. I got overwhelmed and walked out. Can you blame me though? We’re just casually talking about some ancient dude taking control of my mind and keeping me enslaved to do all his evil bidding and I’m not supposed to react? So anyways, I walked out of the room and threw myself a little pity party and took a nap.”

“Woah hold up, the vampires want to do what?” her face has gone pale, eyes wide

“You see why I got upset? I’m over here thinking they just want to kill me, which again, I’m supposed to casually accept, but then the fae male was talking about how that wouldn’t benefit them much, and the vampire king actually wants to just take control of my mind and make me do whatever evil deeds he has. I don’t actually know how he knows that, it might be in one of his books or something he’s gonna lend us, or just speculation, but regardless, it makes sense. Why kill me if you can just make me do it for you? So, then I got up to walk out and Tamisra stopped me, but I was so mentally checked out at that point. I half decided I just wasn’t going to learn how to master this” I say, sighing heavily

“No, you absolutely need to master this. What’s going on is unavoidable, and frankly you need to be able to defend yourself.” she says, grabbing my arm

“I know, I have no intention of trying to forget about it, although that would be nice. I was just overwhelmed, and I feel like we’re at a standstill, like I’m just waiting for all these horrible things to happen. I barely know how to use these powers, Tamisra is holding half of them back from me, and then I’ve learned how to do fun little things with the powers I have access to, but nothing that shows any type of utter power or anything.”

“Listen, I hear you. But you just have to take it one step at a time, one day at a time. You’re still in the gathering information phase, no one is expecting you to be able to take over the world in one night. You look in control of your powers to me, I mean you didn’t incinerate me on the spot for laying on your mate’s side of the bed. And regardless, you were meant for this. You wouldn’t have been chosen if you weren’t worthy, I know it probably doesn’t seem like that right now, but you chose to grow. You chose to grow the minute you left the pack, and you were held back there. You haven’t even been gone for three months, and already I can see the change in you. I saw it the first time you called me, you looked awake, and actually present for once. When your parents died, something in you went with them. Just recently I started to see the old Amara again, the spitfire, not the one going through the motions, dreaming of another life. So yes, you can throw yourself some pity parties, but you cannot run away from this.” Sophie says with finality, giving me no room to disagree.

I don’t respond, just taking in everything she says. Yes, she’s right, I am awake. Since I’ve been here, I finally feel like I’m doing something worthwhile, I look forward to things. Goddess, I never realized how I didn’t look forward to anything before. Except sleeping, but that was so I didn’t have to be aware. It isn’t even just Roman that woke me up, it’s everything here; having purpose, finally making some friends other than Sophie, having my brother around again, being able to train. Yes, she’s right, I have been choosing to grow, and I will continue to. I must be nodding because Sophie hugs me again

“That’s my girl. Now get your ass out of bed and show me the pack life here. But first, get yourself together, you look a hot mess.” she says and gives me a mocking scowl. I just push her and get out of bed.

“Well actually, me and Roman’s two sisters and the beta female are going out, so you’re coming with us.” I say

“What a strange concept, you having me go out with your friends, that you made all on your own.”

“Oh fuck off, you know I’m so introverted I have no idea how I’m supposed to be Luna. Goddess help the people who come to me for advice, I’d just ask them if they’ve tried taking a nap and forgetting about it.” I say and shudder, heading towards the bathroom to do my makeup and hair. Damn, I do look a hot mess. My eyes are puffy with bags for days, my hair is chaos, and my lips are dry and cracked. I start to wash my face as Sophie comes and sits on the sink next to me.

“You know how to play the part, even if you don’t like it. You socialized fine with everyone else, you just didn’t form any type of connection.”

“True. But being Luna, you would need to be able to find that connection with anyone. I mean, not everyone is going to like me, but I have to be able to be there for them if they need me, and eventually make them trust me. I guess it’s a learned art.” I say to her after I rinse my face off. “Hand me the brush next to you”

“You’ll figure it out, you wouldn’t be mated to an Alpha if you weren’t capable of being a Luna.” she shrugs “where’s your phone, we need music”

“This is why you’re my best friend,” I smile. Gods, I’m so happy to see her!

I continued to get ready, dancing and singing along to the music with her, also making Nisha dance when he finally decided to grace me with his presence, much to his dismay. I already feel a little lighter, as safe and as happy as my mate makes me feel, I will always need a dose of my best friend.