Twenty-Nine

"Wake up." Jase sounded panicked.

I am awake.

When he spoke again, I realized I hadn't actually said the words out loud. "I'm sorry. Just open your eyes. Kyle's on his way."

It took considerable effort. My eyelids felt heavy. "I'm fine," I croaked.

"Oh, thank God." I heard an audible sigh of relief. "I'm sorry. I'm a jerk. He's my best friend." He wiped his face with his hand. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.

"Don't apologize." I realized all the sudden that I was on the ground and Jase was holding me. I tried to sit up.

"You need a doctor. I can take you or call an ambulance."

"No." When I was finally in a sitting position, I prepared to stand. Jase helped me up but didn't let go. Maybe he realized my legs were wobbly.

"You fainted."

"Let me sit down a minute and I'll be fine." I gestured to a porch chair.

Kyle's truck pulled into the drive, the door swung open, and he stepped out. My heart slammed against my ribs. Wearing jeans, boots, and a black pullover he looked breathtaking, and I drank in the sight of him like it had been forever since we'd last seen each other.

He ran to us and lifted me into his arms. To Jase he asked, "Did you call an ambulance?"

"She says she's ok."

Hearing the concern in Jase's voice, I started to get embarrassed for causing such trouble. I wanted to stay in Kyle's arms but pushed against his chest. "You can put me down. I'm good. Just a little dizzy. No big deal."

Kyle's ocean blue gaze locked on mine. My breath caught, and his eyes glittered. I felt his muscles tense, and with one last look at me, he set me on my feet. Standing took considerable effort, but I did it without swaying.

"I can get you water," he offered, concern swimming in his eyes.

"No, thanks. I need to talk to you."

"I figured that's why you're here." He jerked his head to a chair. "Sit down."

I suspected he said that for my benefit because he looked like sitting down with me was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I'll leave you alone," Jase said, clapping Kyle on the shoulder.

"Thanks for taking care of her."

Jase glanced over at me, and I could tell from his expression he expected me to complain about him to Kyle. "Thank you, Jase."

He actually smiled at me before he left. It was progress.

Kyle pulled the porch chair beside mine to face me, and he got to the point. "Izabelle told me what happened with Ava." He looked at me, gauging my reaction. "I know she's pregnant, but the baby is not mine."

I hadn't expected him to lay it all out like that. Surprised, I said the first thing that came to mind. "How do you know?"

His expression registered disappointment. "That the baby's not mine? I haven't slept with Ava, or anyone else, in years."

He was telling the truth. My world tilted off-center. "She said you were the father," I said making it worse.

"And you believed her without even giving me a chance." Kyle's voice was calm, but his eyes filled with hurt. "I know it looked bad. I get it, but instead of talking to me, you ran."

If he'd been angry, it would have been easier to bear. "I came to see you. I didn't want it to be true. I—"

"Lucy." He took my hand in his. There was finality in the way he said my name that made me realize we were done.

"I'm sorry, Kyle."

"So am I."

The shimmer of tears in his eyes before he blinked them away tugged on my heartstrings. He wasn't acting on emotion and carelessly speaking. Kyle had given this a lot of thought, and he was genuinely sorry we were ending this way.

I had to be sure. "We're breaking up?"

He grimaced. His hand squeezed mine. "When you sent the text saying we were over, I lost it. Instead of turning to God, I went out with Jase and drank too much."

Tears stung my eyes. I blinked them away. Jase had been telling the truth. I'd gotten used to thinking of Kyle as invincible when it came to his faith. He was strong, loyal, and loved the Lord more than anyone I knew, but he wasn't perfect. That I'd had everything to do with his fall devastated me.

"It's my fault."

"No, it's not. You're not to blame for my bad decisions." He gently rubbed his knuckles against my cheek. "I need to get right with Him before I can offer you anything, Lucy."

"I understand." I did and that made it hurt even more.

Kyle drove me home in silence, despite my insistence that I could drive. He wouldn't take no for an answer even though he'd have to walk home. Before he got out of my car he asked, "Have you prayed for us?"

I started to say yes, but stopped. I'd prayed, but my prayers were for God to help me get over Kyle. Come to think of it most of my prayers were like that, me asking for what I wanted or for what I thought I needed.

"Yes," I told him, suddenly frustrated. "I don't think I'm as good a Christian as you."

"That's not true." His voice was insistent. "It's not a competition."

If I'd been a better person, none of this would have happened. Even my dad and Katie realized something was off before I did. The truth was Kyle clouded my thinking. I'd been devastated when I thought he betrayed me. I didn't seek God. Kyle consumed me so much that loving him was the most important part of my life.

The most important part of my life.

A memory called to me. Tingling my senses and putting me on alert. What was it?

One day I pray you'll be loving Him. The best part of your life will be loving Him.

No wonder my life had spiraled out of control. I wasn't where I needed to be with the Lord. Kyle was right. We both needed to be right with God.

"Lucy, are you ok?" He spoke softly, his deep voice rich with concern.

I pushed the door open and turned to face him one last time. "I'm fine. I'll—" See you later? I wasn't sure I would. I had no idea how long it would take us to set our lives straight. "Goodbye Kyle."

The pain in my eyes was mirrored in his. "Goodbye Lucy."

***

Our goodbye lasted three days.

My life settled into a predictable routine. I read the Bible every morning, prayed, and most importantly I learned to wait on the Lord.

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for the Lord ~Psalm 27:14

Instead of just making requests, I handed it all over to God. On that note, I decided I had to make church a priority. Surprisingly, when I asked dad to go with me he smiled, said he'd pick me up, and we could get lunch afterward.

We arrived five minutes before the service and the sanctuary was quite full. The only seats were in the back. Stepping into the row I stopped short when I saw Kyle and Izabelle.

My expression had probably been comical. I'd considered turning around and finding another seat, but that would have been too obvious, not to mention childish and petty.

"Kyle! Hello!" My voice was a touch too enthusiastic. I glanced past him to Izabelle, who was still not speaking to me. "Izabelle, it's good to see you. Both of you."

"It's good to see you, Lucy." Strangely, he sounded like he meant it.

I tried not to let my gaze linger on Kyle, who looked handsome in his slacks and dress shirt. I smiled at Izabelle.

"Hi, Lucy. Hunter."

It did not escape my attention that she used Dad's first name. I turned to see how he would react to that, but Dad didn't seem to notice. He shook Kyle's hand and took Izabelle's.

There was no time to talk after that because the opening hymn started. At first, I was distracted, too aware of Kyle but when the sermon began I found myself hanging on the Pastor's words.

He spoke about trusting God, and how it was easy to do when life was good but when hard times arrived this was where faith was tested. Trusting God was a choice not a feeling.

It might be difficult during times of trial, but we needed to believe God's promises and obey Him. God loves us and he's working things out for our good.

A couple of times I glanced at my dad and he seemed to be listening intently. I didn't look at Izabelle, but I know Kyle did because I saw from the corner of my eye. I hoped they got as much from the sermon as I did.

When it was over one of the greeters came over and gave us information on Life Groups, which were before the eleven o'clock service. Dad and I thanked them and left for lunch after an awkward goodbye to the Huxleys, curiously I noticed the tension wasn't just between me and Kyle.

I'd wanted to ask Dad his thoughts on the sermon, but I was hesitant to push. The seeds were planted. I'm not sure why, but I think he heard the message and understood. The rest I'd leave up to God.

Instead, I decided to switch directions. "You got a crush on Izabelle, Dad?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Lucy." He glanced away, but not before I saw the truth in his eyes. "She's the same age as my daughter."

"Izabelle's twenty-eight."

"I'm forty! Old enough to be her father." He laughed without humor.

"It's only fifteen years, but if you're not interested..."

I watched the faint color creep up his neck and color his jaw. The rare glimpse of vulnerability moved me. He was still very young. We'd practically grown up together, and I loved him so much. There were times lately when the lines of parent and child blurred, and I looked at him like a friend.

Reaching out, I covered his hand with mine.

"I loved your mother, Lucy." The words were hard for him. "Being in church again made me remember her. I knew it would. That's why I never wanted to go." He raked his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry." I thought of her too and missed her very much.

"Don't be. I needed to be there. I've been running too long. She wouldn't have been happy that I waited this long to seek God." His gaze flicked to mine. "You have your mother's faith. I want that again too."

"Oh, Dad." Nothing he could have said would have made me happier. "I've prayed for you."

"This might be difficult to believe, but I've prayed for you too. Every single day."

We finished our lunch and as we were leaving he said without warning, "I am interested in Izabelle. Is that ok with you?"

"It is, Dad. I love you."

He pulled me to his side and kissed the top of my head. In that moment I felt God leading us, and I trusted Him wherever we were headed.

***

Izabelle was waiting for me when I got to my apartment.

Sitting in a chair beside the door, she was holding a bouquet of white daises. "I tried to find a white flag, you know, for surrender, but they don't sell them most places. I settled for flowers." Izabelle held them up, a sad look on her face.

"We're not at war, Izzy, but thank you. Why are you out here?"

Lifting her chin, I saw her lip quiver. "I wasn't sure my key was still good here."

"Your key will always be good."

She lowered her head. "I behaved horribly. If you'd ignored me like this, I would be hurt and mad. I'm not sure I'd want to speak to you again."

"I was hurt and mad. Not gonna lie never speaking to you again did cross my mind, but I realized I couldn't expect you to choose me over your brother."

"Turns out I can't choose him over you either." Her hopeful eyes met mine and she stood.

"Let's go inside." I opened the door and she walked in, dropping a white paper bag on the counter and a small box of macaroons.

"In case the flowers didn't work, I brought your favorite toffee. The macaroons are for Katie."

I made coffee and we sat down. "I should explain. After the bombshell Ava dropped, I was furious with Kyle. He was at home with Jase when I got there, and he denied sleeping with Ava."

She paused, staring down at her fingernails and chipping away purple polish.

"He was sure you'd let him explain. I'd never seen him as crushed as he was when he read your text." Her head lifted. "I know why you did it, and I don't blame you."

A deep sorrow settled in my heart.

"Jase said he told you about Kyle drinking. He wasn't drunk." Izabelle shook her head. "He had three shots. If you didn't know him well, you'd never have been able to tell he'd had anything at all."

God knew. That's why Kyle was upset. He'd disappointed the Father, but I couldn't tell Izabelle for fear of it coming off as preachy.

"It wasn't like he did anything embarrassing. No table dances, nothing wild and crazy that will later show up on social media." She tossed a smile.

"That's something to be thankful for." I bit into the firm but smooth, sweet toffee and chewed slowly.

Izabelle picked up a macaroon, but lowered it and leveled me a look. "I'm ashamed of how I've treated you. You had good reason to doubt Kyle. Ok, you could have talked to him sooner. We all make mistakes. I've told Kyle he's being too hard on you."

Unlike, Izzy I knew Kyle wasn't punishing me for my mistakes or trying to get back at me. He was upset with himself for not putting God first in his life, just like He had to be first in my life.

I remembered my mom talking about loving the Lord above all else, and as a little girl I didn't understand why I couldn't be first. After all, I was her child. Now, I understood that we are all God's children, and no one loved us more than He did. Our lives could only be fulfilled if we kept him first.

"I know he still loves you. The way he looked at you in church—I wish someone would look at me like that. I'm having trouble forgiving Ava for breaking you two up."

Had I forgiven Ava? Honestly, I hadn't thought of her but I did now and all I felt was sadness. "If it's God wants us together we'll be together."

"Well, she behaved horribly. I'm sure God would agree. The baby is Cade's, by the way."

"I haven't talked to her since that day at Kyle's house."

Izabelle's head came up. "She was at my brother's house? When was this?"

"After she took the test, I went to see him." Seeing the surprise on her face, I realized I hadn't told her this. "She was there. Kyle was in the shower. I melted down and ran."

"What?!" Her jaw dropped. "No way."

Her reaction had my defenses rising. "I-I saw someone in the shower. I did check."

"Does Kyle know about this?"

"I'm not sure." I had to stop and think, replaying our last conversation. "Actually, I might not have mentioned it."

"You definitely should," she insisted, picking up her phone. "Call him now."

"Izabelle," I said quietly, sliding my finger across my aching forehead. "You mean well, but we have to work this out in our own time." God's time.

Sitting up straight, she leaned forward. "I have valuable, top-secret information that will change your mind."

Her demeanor set me on edge.

"Jase is worried about Kyle." She spoke deliberately and paused.

"Sorry, but that's not a secret. He loves him like a brother."

"He thinks my brother is pining for you, and he's decided to set Kyle up."

"Set him up?" I echoed the words, blankly, and suddenly I understood. "With other women?"

"I'm sorry." Izzy looked miserable. "If there's anything I can do, tell me."

Should I say it, Lord? I waited. One heartbeat. Two. Yes, daughter. "We could pray."

Her eyes lifted to mine, and she gave me a slow nod then glanced down at her hands as if she wasn't sure what to do.

Taking her hands, I bowed my head and she did the same. I thanked God for his blessings and asked him to forgive us our sins. Next, I asked for his guidance not just for Kyle and me but for all our friends and family, including Ava.

When she opened her eyes and looked up I saw the most serene look on Izzy's face. "Amen," she whispered.