Three

My car seemed three sizes smaller with Kyle in it.

His presence had an electrifying, unnerving, and exciting effect on me. I was too aware of him, and I made myself think of Ava so I wouldn't make a fool of myself over her boyfriend.

Apparently, I wasn't doing a good job of hiding my feelings or maybe Kyle was just perceptive because he seemed to know something was wrong.

"You okay, Lucy?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed a little too enthusiastically. I felt his gaze on me. "I should be asking you that question."

"I told you about my dad." The words were matter-of-fact, but then his voice lowered. "Do you remember that afternoon?"

"Of course I do. I-I remember," I stammered, glancing over at him. "Still, I'm sorry."

"You're as sweet as you were back then."

I wondered if he was flirting with me. I usually said whatever was on my mind and took things too literally, which made me lousy at flirting. Not that I'd had much practice.

"Do I make you nervous, Lucy?"

The gently spoken question created a powerful response. I felt shivery and breathless. "Yes."

We'd stopped at a red light, and I stole another glimpse of Kyle catching his surprised expression. I took the bull by the horns, as my dad would say and confronted it head-on. "It's not every day I get to hang out with my high school crush."

He chuckled. "Yeah, sure. I hear the sarcasm in your voice."

"I'm serious."

"You had a crush on me?"

"Oh, come on," I laughed. "You can stop pretending I'm not making a fool of myself."

His handsome face registered surprise.

Embarrassed, I debated if I'd had crossed a line, and I wished I could take the words back. "I shouldn't have said that. I thought you were flirting, and I—I'm sorry."

"I was flirting with you."

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, feeling more troubled than I could have imagined. I did not go after other girls' boyfriends. "I think I was too. I was way out of line. It was—"

"Lucy." My name was a rough, deep drawl that grabbed my attention. "I'm the one who should apologize." He was quiet for a moment. "When Izabelle wrote me about you she only used your first name, but I wondered if it was you."

"She's one of my best friends. I'm friends with Ava too."

"Sweet, beautiful, and loyal." Something in his voice tugged at my heart.

I pulled onto Ava's street, but there were cars already parked on both sides of her house so I parked across the street.

Kyle didn't say anything. He also wasn't in a hurry to get out of the car, which I thought was sort of strange.

A moment later Ava came out her front door, but she wasn't alone. Hand in hand with a guy sporting sleeve tattoos on both arms, they made their way to a motorcycle in the driveway. The guy yanked Ava against him and kissed her deeply while she melted against him.

The air froze in my lungs. Seconds slipped by while I stared at them, stunned by the awkwardness of the moment. My heart broke for Kyle, but when I turned to look at him, he was watching me instead of Ava and the guy.

"That's Ava's new boyfriend, Cade. He did her last tattoo." Kyle spoke calmly, seemingly unaffected by the duo making out a few feet away from us.

"I hope it wasn't your name."

Kyle's lips twitched. "It wasn't."

"I thought you were Ava's boyfriend."

"We broke up. It didn't work with me being gone all the time. Ava wasn't sure how to tell Izabelle, and I agreed to let her tell my sister when she was ready."

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"I don't think Ava would appreciate me hanging around."

Hearing the smile in his voice, I started the car. "You could have told me before we got to her house. I won't tell Izabelle."

"If I hadn't been taken by my beautiful driver, I would have."

"Ha, funny. Are you still..." I stopped before I could ask if he was still in love with Ava. It was none of my business. I had no idea what I was thinking.

"I am I still heartbroken she dumped me?" he asked, after a beat of silence. "I've started eating again, and I don't cry as often when something reminds me of her."

My stomach dropped. I clutched the steering wheel, flustered. Of all the things I'd expected him to say, those were not even on the very bottom of the list. He'd loved her even more than I realized.

When I finally turned to look at Kyle, I saw his shoulders shaking with laughter.

"I'm kidding." His eyes tangled with mine. "I care about her, but some things aren't meant to be."

Ava sped away on the back of her boyfriend's bike with her arms wrapped around him tightly. "Hey, this might seem weird, but do you mind if I drive?"

"Uh, no." It was kind of a relief. I'd be able to watch him with undivided attention.

"It's been a while for me." Once we'd switched places he started the car and inhaled with pleasure at the roar of the engine. "It's the simple things I miss the most—driving, going to the grocery store, cooking dinner." He turned to me. "Let me buy you dinner."

Kyle Huxley wanted to buy me dinner. I was stunned for several heartbeats before I could respond. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to. What are you in the mood for?" He threw me a dazzling smile. "C'mon, Lucy, are you a salad girl?"

I laughed.

"Tofu?" he tried again.

"Barbeque?" I countered.

He looked like I'd handed him the moon. "A girl after my heart. Mind if we stop by Izabelle's place first? I could use a quick shower and change of clothes."

Of course, I didn't mind. I waited in Izabelle's living room, flipping channels while Kyle showered. Less than fifteen minutes after we'd arrived at her apartment, Kyle had showered and was dressed in faded jeans, boots, and a plaid button-down shirt. He looked incredible and he smelled amazing, like soap and aftershave.

The Pit was one of the newest, coolest barbeque places in town with its down-home décor, large outdoor patio with a dance floor, and stage where live bands performed almost every night.

"You'll love it," I told him.

Kyle's gaze moved over the large tin roof building with the American and Texas flags flying at the entrance. "I already do."

I couldn't help but smile at the pleasure in his voice. "It opened last August and it's been one of my favorite places ever since."

Kyle got out of the car, and before I knew what he meant to do he was opening my door and placing his big hand at the small of my back as we walked toward the restaurant.

He towered over my slender five-foot-four frame, making me feel small beside him. Women stopped and turned to check him out. The waitress actually blushed to take his order, but Kyle didn't seem to notice his effect on the females around him.

Katie said attractive guys were usually self-absorbed, and I half expected him to monopolize the conversation or turn into a jerk before my eyes, but he was as down to earth and fun to be around as anyone I'd ever met.

We both ordered the special, which was sliced beef, sausage, potato salad, coleslaw, a roll, and sweet tea. Taking a table on the outside deck, we sat down to eat just as the live band began another song.

To distract me, I asked him the question I'd been curious about for years. "What made you decide to join the army?"

"I didn't have money for college, and I knew I had to do something. Four more years and they'll pay my tuition."

"Four more years?" I hoped he didn't hear the disappointment in my voice, but I knew that he did.

"I just signed on for the additional four." He seemed resigned to his fate, and I was suddenly sad.

His gaze tangled with mine. "It's my turn to ask a question."

I rolled my wrist and made an elaborate gesture with my arm, and was rewarded with the husky rumble of his laugh. "Ask away."

"Do you have a boyfriend, Lucy?"

"You're flirting with me again?"

He shook his head. "You can't answer with a question."

"Hmm. Hold on. Let me think." I squinted my eyes and pretended to consider the question. When I started counting on my fingers, he wadded a paper napkin and tossed it at me.

Laughing, I shook my head. "No boyfriend."

"Maybe because you're a handful," he teased. "I don't have a girlfriend, in case you were wondering."

"Very presumptuous." I spoke primly, making an effort not to smile.

"You did admit to having a crush on me." He took a sip of sweet tea. "No need to get embarrassed. I was flirting with you."

My belly hollowed. "Ok, my turn. Do you believe in God?" I wasn't even sure where the question had come from, but I suddenly needed to hear his answer.

Something flickered in the depths of his eyes. I braced for his quick-witted humor, but it never came. He seemed to genuinely be giving the question thought. "War forces a man to face his mortality," he said finally. "When you wake up each morning thinking it might be your last, you start searching for answers."

On the edge of my seat, I waited patiently for him to finish.

Our gazes locked. "Jesus is the answer. To everything."

Relief flooded me. Releasing a breath, I asked. "How do you know?"

"He found me. He's calling all of us, Lucy. You just have to answer."

Those last four words had a profound effect on me. You just have to answer.

I knew Jesus called everyone, but for some inexplicable reason, I felt like he had sent Kyle to deliver that message. Shaken, I changed the subject. "Sorry. I guess that was two questions. Your turn."

"You still have your dog, Jack?"

I couldn't help but smile to know that he remembered my dog, and I wondered if he ever thought of that stormy afternoon when he'd driven me home. "Jack lives with Dad, but I see them as much as I can."

"I always wanted a dog."

"Maybe one day you'll have one."

"Maybe."

The waitress delivered our food and we thanked her.

"Do you want to get married?" I asked, curious about his plans for the future. Unfortunately, as soon as I asked the question I realized how it might sound to him. My cheeks began to burn with embarrassment.

Kyle's grin made my heart flutter. "I'll be overseas for the next few years but hey, if you want, we can fly to Vegas."

It took me a moment to realize how he'd misunderstood my question. "I meant one day. Do you want to get married and have a family one day, but not with me," I said, stumbling over my own words. "Not that I wouldn't want to marry you, but, well, you know what I mean."

He looked like he was trying not to laugh.

I put my hand over my face. "I'll stop rambling now."

"It's okay. I have that effect on women." Kyle sat up straighter and puffed his chest out.

I hesitated, unsure how to respond. Maybe this was the part where he would turn into a jerk. I glanced away, disappointed, but his laughter pulled my attention back to him.

"I was joking, Lucy. I'm not that big a jerk."

"I didn't think that." He tilted his head and leveled me with a telling look. "Ok, fine," I admitted, after a sip of tea. "You know women love you."

"That's not love." I thought I saw a flash of pain in his sea-blue eyes, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. "They don't know me."

I couldn't stop the question. "What do you think love is?"

Kyle smiled and my breath caught. "Wait your turn," he said gently, leaning back in his chair studying me. "I didn't answer."

I was practically on the edge of my seat with anticipation, but he was taking his time. There might have been a war going on around us, but I was aware of only him.

"Yes, I want to get married and have kids. What about you?"

"Same. I want to be a wife and mother." I suddenly realized how much that meant to me. "What is love?"

"Love is sacrifice, putting someone else's needs before your own." His gaze dropped to my mouth, but he pulled it back up. His cheeks colored. "Have you ever been in love, Lucy?"

"No." My throat went dry.

"That surprises me."

"Why?"

His steady gaze held mine. "You have no idea how rare you are, do you?"

My mind was grappling with his description—rare. Like a steak. He thought I was different, odd, possibly strange.

"After everyone thought you wrote that letter, guys noticed you. I didn't like it. I even threatened a few who—" He stopped and seemed to choose his words carefully. "Who had less than honorable intentions."

My jaw dropped, and I stared at him wide-eyed.

"There's something about you, Lucy Donovan. You shine brighter than everyone else. I knew it four years ago. You turned me inside out."

I was stunned. "I'd always assumed my feeling for you were one-sided."

"No. That's why I never spoke to you again after that day. You were too young, and I felt guilty for the way I felt about you."

"When I'm around you I can hardly think straight," I told him, watching his eyes darken.

"Dance with me?" He held out his hand.

My heart tripped a beat. I stood up so quickly I knocked over my chair, but he caught it before it hit the floor.

My face heated at the blunder, but he didn't seem to notice my eagerness as he led me onto the dance floor and pulled me into his arms. Kyle was a wonderful dancer, moving effortlessly to the beat of the music. Resisting the urge to bury my head against his chest, I concentrated on the steps and prayed I didn't stomp on his foot.

One song turned into two, then three. Finally, I lost count. Our last dance was to a slow song, and he held me close. I felt his breath against my ear. "Lucy, I'm leaving in three days. I don't know if—when I'll be back."

I did not want this night to end. "Would you like to go to my place?" I blurted, quickly realizing how he might take the suggestion. "To talk."

Kyle's gaze crashed into mine. He nodded. "I'd like to talk."

On the drive to my apartment, I wondered if he thought I wanted something more than conversation. I wanted to ask, and I started to speak but the words wouldn't come.

The startling revelation came like a lightning bolt. If Kyle wanted to make love to me, would I turn him down?

I unlocked the door and he motioned me to go in ahead. The sound of the door closing behind him was like a jolt to my nerves.

I jumped, but luckily the reaction was covered when I tripped on one of Katie's boots she'd left at the door.

Strong arms reached out to steady me. "Careful." His voice was husky, and he didn't let go once I was no longer in danger of falling. One arm slid around my waist, making my pulse race.

He was warm and smelled so good. It was difficult to think of reasons why I shouldn't do what most women my age did all the time.

His gaze dropped to my mouth and lingered. I wanted him to kiss me more than I wanted my next breath. I wanted other things too.

I thought about my mom. She wouldn't approve of what I was thinking. Jesus wouldn't approve—not that I cared about seeking his approval, did I?

No, I didn't care about the God who had taken my mother and forsaken me. I wanted Kyle.

"Kyle, I want—" you stuck in my throat. "I want—"

His thumb dragged over my bottom lip, and his eyes darkened. He seemed to be engaged in the same battle as I. "Lucy," he whispered huskily.

Leaning into him, I felt his body against mine. It would be easy to lose myself in his arms, but what about tomorrow? Forget the future. I would belong to Kyle tonight.

You are mine.

My chin lifted and I stared at him, wondering if he'd spoken but somehow I knew the small voice had not been from Kyle.

"I'm sorry." Bracing for his disappointment, I tensed. "I've never done anything like this."

"That's a good thing." He took a step back, looking relieved. "Don't be sorry. I'm not."

He seemed to genuinely mean that, and I felt a pang of disappointment. "You didn't want..."

"I want you, Lucy." The words were gravelly. "But not like this."

I wondered what he meant by that.

"Lucy?" His tone held a serious note. "You asked if I believed in God." His eyes locked on mine. "Do you?"

My chest tightened. No one had ever asked me that question outside church and I hadn't been there in years. "My mom did."

This time there was no doubt that I'd disappointed him.

I closed my eyes. My rocky relationship with the Lord troubled me, and I wouldn't pretend it didn't. Did I believe in the God of the Bible? "I don't know."

Kyle rubbed his jaw. "A buddy of mine gave me a Bible. Sometimes, when the walls are closing in, and I don't think I will survive another day, I read it."

I hadn't read the Bible since my mom died.

"I don't understand a lot of it," he admitted, seeming troubled. "I know Jesus loved us enough to die for our sins." His throat muscles worked as he swallowed. "That's all I'm sure about."

"Maybe that's enough." I was rewarded with his smile.

All night long we talked and laughed about nothing and everything. We each took a recliner. I made popcorn and we put on a movie neither of us watched. Kyle was an interesting person and fun to be around.

Later, he asked me when Katie would be home. She was spending the night with her mom. I asked if Izabelle would wonder where he was.

Kyle hesitated before answering. "She'll think I'm with Ava."

Thinking about him with his girlfriend made my stomach knot with jealousy. I wondered if years from now I would regret my decision. I didn't think I would.

Kyle gave me his AKO email address before he left, and he called several times over the next three days. On the day he left, I broke down and cried. Katie came home from school, and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I told her everything, and she hugged me and told me it would all be ok. She bought plenty of chocolate, coffee, and a dozen sappy, romantic movies that were our favorites.

Two days later I pulled myself together and went on with my life, but I'd still think of Kyle occasionally and remember that wonderful, bittersweet night we'd shared.