Regret

The next day I woke up on time but still not feeling like going anywhere, rather, form a cocoon with my blanket and sleep till I become a butterfly.

But it's just wishful thinking

I was on the dining table, eating my breakfast silently. Ms.Choi was about to serve more of breakfast to me but I denied. Ms.Choi looked at me to confirm but I was already looking down at my half finished breakfast with a frown.

I got up and picked up my school bag.

" Was the breakfast not good-?"

"It was good Ms.Choi, just not hungry."

Ms.Choi understood something was wrong but she couldn't do anything. She was in no place to but she decided to inform your grandfather about your behavioral change.

I was about to walk up the stairs that led to school building when I noticed Lee Soo-ho.  I didn't know what made me walk in opposite direction but I did turn around and walk away without meeting his gaze. He looked fine to me so I guess he recovered just fine.

Suddenly my vision was occupied by a green hoodie. I looked up to see Han Seojun staring at me with unreadable look in his eyes.

"Are you here to speak- ' I only listen to you' then please, just go away." My voice came out tired as his brows furrowed.

I turned around and was about to walk away when he once again got in front of me.

"I am not gonna say that." He says and I look at him with narrowed eyes.

"Then?" I asked as he hesitated to speak. Actually he wanted to ask you out for movies, the one you agreed for but somehow he was nervous. Ever since he heard his sister continuously praising you for supporting her, his view changed towards you.

"I wanted to say something else."

"I wanted to say something else!!!!"

His friends came from behind me screaming while repeating the sentence he just spoke making Seojun hastily blurt out-

"I will only listen to you."

I pursed my lips and gave him a threatening look.

"Listen here. Next time you try this, I will not hesitate to punch your model face."

I pushed past him and went inside the school while he choked his friend by his arm while saying-

"Why do you always have to interrupt!?"

Today was the day when we were getting our results. When I entered the room, all of them already had their result sheet in their hands. Our hoomroom teacher looked at me and smiled.

"There's our top flower." I blink but then bowed and nonchalantly took the result from him. I sit at my regular seat, ignoring Soo-ho's gaze trained on me.

1/25

I was first and I had no doubt Soo-ho and I had a draw. It could be a big achievement but only if someone approved of it. No one approved my achievement so neither did I.

"You know the parent teacher conferences start today right? For those whose parents are coming today, make sure to tell me if there is any change."

My home room teacher looked at me, asking if this time they were going to come but I shook my head.

This made me remember that my brother refused to come. I was used to him rejecting to come at school to meet me and I even understood the circumstances but, was it too much to ask for a simple gesture of appreciation?

A simple 'well done' or 'proud of you' ?

I crumpled the paper and tossed it in my bag. I clenched my jaw and put my head down on the table. My stomach growled making me groan internally.

Right. Out of anger I didn't eat anything.

Now I was just waiting for lunch break. When the bell finally rang, I went outside before others as I usually did but less enthusiastic. I took my food tray mainly filled with F/F (favourite food) and sat down at a table, ignoring others existence.

When I took the first bite, I realised how much hungry I really was.

Food is therapy.

"Yah! Lee Soo-ho, is your father Lee Ju Hyeon?" Someone shouts as I stopped mid-bite. My eyes went to Soo-ho who sat beside Sua's boyfriend with no particular expression on his face.

However, I noticed his jaw clench when people around him began to squeal in happiness that a celebrity was in this school.

"You knew this Soojin didn't you!? Maybe Y/N knew too!!" I heard Sua's voice just few table away from me. Yes, I almost forget I had friends and I blame it on my hunger.

"Speaking of Y/N, where is she?" Jukyung asked in a low voice as I was about to call out to them my voice got stuck in my throat when Soojin spoke up-

"She escaped again, once I get her, I will beat her up"

I immediately shut my mouth and slowly began to lower my head to hide from their view. I quickly finished my meal and tried to get up and leave when Sua called out-

"Yaah Kang Y/N!! You ditched us!"

And I took a sprint for it knowing very well that Soojin was after me.

"I swear I was gonna call out to you!" I shouted back at Soojin who was catching up to me.

"You sneaky little liar!" She shouted back as I stepped down the flight of stairs, pushing through the students while muttering 'sorry'.

I thought that the blending in the crowd of campus gathering would be easier for me to escape. I don't even know why she chased me like a maniac but I was safe. I didn't realise that I got into parking lot until I saw Soo-ho's father. I was not in their viewpoint but my feet stopped when I heard his voice.

"Why did you come?" Soo-ho's voice held indignation in it.

"It's lunchtime. Have you eaten?" His father asks with a small smile but Soo-ho remained stoic as ever.

"Don't you think you are being shameless by showing up like this?" He says and I bot back a gasp.

He talks to his parents like that? Mine would have disowned me if I even said a little 'no' to them.

I flinched when a sudden squeal came from behind me. I was taken aback by sudden presence of Jukyung's mother as Jukyung herself ran behind her in order to stop her mom.

I walked the other way to avoid Mr.Lee prying eyes. I was afraid that he would once against start talking about my parents. I put my hand in my blazer's pocket and began to walk near a bench. I sat down and stretched feeling better than morning. While I was enjoying my peacetime, a certain girl was crushing her result while looking at me, which I was obviously unbeknownst to.

Later I was in biology class and surely my luck hates me because the guy I wanted to avoid, was in my group. Lee Soo-ho was sitting just across the table sighing time to time.

Like boy, having pleasure or something?

Meanwhile he couldn't turn off the thoughts swirling around his head from last night.

Soo-ho couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt that had been weighing on him since the incident. He had been struggling with a panic attack, and Y/N, the girl he had been developing feelings for, had tried to help him. But he had pushed her away, not wanting to appear vulnerable in front of her.

The reason behind Soo-ho's actions was complicated. He was stuck between Seojun's growing forced interest in you because of him. Soo-ho knew that if he showed any weakness or vulnerability, Seojun would use it against him since he blames him of Se-Yeon' death.

By pushing Y/N away and accepting Jukyung's help, Soo-ho had hoped to avoid giving Seojun any ammunition. He knew it was a selfish move, but he felt like he had no choice.

Soo-ho's actions had left him feeling guilty and anxious. He knew that Y/N deserved better, and he couldn't help but wonder if he had made a huge mistake. Had he prioritized his own self-preservation over the feelings of someone he cared about?

Back to you,

I didn't acknowledge his presence and helped Jukyung to carefully slide the blood sample under the lens of microscope. I noticed she was giving nasty glares at Soo-ho from time to time.

Does this guy has tendency to anger everyone along with himself?

I tried to focus on task on hand but these frequent eye contacts were getting annoying, reminding me of the memory that stung.

"Imjoo look at this." I grabbed her her arm slightly and beckoned her to peer through the microscope. She smiled and nodded but I could see through her fake smile.

As the class was over, Soo-ho and me were appointed to put the flasks and tubes in places and I totally hated it because my intrusive thoughts were really bad.

It's going to fall.

If I grip it too tight, it's gonna break.

Oh shit-

I shook my thoughts off as I arranged the equipments. I could see Soo-ho wanting to talk to me but I wasn't going to initiate the talk that isn't necessary. I took my study supplies and went outside without sparing any other glance. On my way, I got a message from Go-woon.

Woonie:

Unni, I really want to thank you for what you did for me and I also want you to come to my house. Jukyung unni has agreed to come, I hope you come too.

Wow, at least someone appreciated my help unlike......

I rolled my eyes when I thought of him. I knew I was being a bitch driven by emotions but hey, it hurts okay? And that's what makes me agitate even more.

I typed her back that I will surely come and put my phone away. Going back home and then changing and once again walk to Go-woon's house would be tiring so, I decided to directly walk over to her house.

And believe me when I say it wasn't easy to find her house. I kept wandering here and there with map opened on my phone but still unable to find the right path.

Aren't I real.

I thought sarcastily but soon a sigh of relief escaped my mouth once I saw I reached my destination.

When I entered her house, she smiled and hugged me as I returned it with a smile.

I noticed that Jukyung was also sitting there with smile etched on her face.

"How have you been Go-woon?" I asked as she happily began to explain how everything went right after we met her.

She also told us that they talk behind her back but she claims that she isn't affected by them because if she will be hurt, then that means she is accepting the insults.

"Talking behind your back is all those gooses can do. I am happy that you are feeling strong." I put a hand on her shoulder, feeling proud like a mother as she smiled brightly.

"It's  because you both helped me!" She exclaimed but our conversation was put on halt when a very peculiar scene unfolded in front of us.

Han Soejun came in dancing on the song 'Okey- Dokey ' by BTOB.

Dressed like a cheetah.

Let me rephrase that, Cheetah print underwear and a blue bathrobe which wasn't tied and as a result, his body was on full show. He came in, ignoring or unbeknownst to our presence in the room seemingly gaping at him and went to pick up water bottle from the fridge. He clearly busy enjoying the song and poured the water on his hair and ruffled it slightly.

Well, his little dream vibe was ceased when he turned around. His eyes widen once he saw Jukyung and his eyes almost got out of socket when his eyes landed on your figure who was gaping at him, or more like his underwear. Huge blush crept upto his cheeks as he regained his posture.

His eyes returned back to normal, he tried his best.

"Oh so you both are here"

"You are at home? Put some clothes on at home please...."

His sister complained while I couldn't control my laugh in. I pointed at his underwear and spoke up.

"I will take this as your 'wild' side."

He narrowed his eyes at me and sassily flipped his hair.

"I like to think this as a fashion statement."

"Surely a bold statement." I raised a brow at him and gave him a teasing smile.

He smirked and turned around, still singing to appear what happened didn't had any effect on him, however, just as he went out of our view he visibly flinched as embarrassed look replaced his neutral face.

I heard a distant whine of cry and decided to speak.

"I didn't see anything! Do not cry!" I teased and turned my attention to Go-woon who was already back to learn how to do makeup.

"So is he always like that?" I asked while sitting beside her as she gave a nod.

"Wouldn't miss even a moment." I chuckled lowly and sat down beside her as we talked for an hour. There was no sign of Seojun after the incident.

Poor cat is too embarrassed.

My phone rang with my usual ringtone as they both giggled at it.

"Hey! I love Gaga." I glared at them and stepped aside to pick up the call.

"Yes Ms.Choi" I said and I heard some distant murmurs and suddenly her voice came through the speaker.

"Yes Y/N! I...When are you coming home?"

I blinked at her hesitation.

"I was just leaving for home, is everything alright?" I questioned still perplexed about the murmurs in background.

"Everything's fine. Just come home early. Take care." I heard her giggle at the end and then she hung up.

I stood there dumbfounded with my phone still held near my ear. After a minute of contemplating what happened, I looked at my phone and pondered on what was that.

I shrugged and told them that I had to go. Jukyung said she would stay little more so I bid goodbye to both of them went outside.

I put on my headphones smiling contentedly while turning on my favourite song. Just after walking few feets away from her house, I felt a sudden tug at back of my hairs along with my collar.

"Who the f-....Han Seojun? How dare you to pull my hairs!" I stomped on his foot he winced and stepped away from me.

"I am sorry! But...you should have stopped when I called your name." I frowned and then realised maybe I really didn't hear him becaus of songs blasting in my ears.

"Well why did you call me?"

"Ah. Oh...Just."

"Just?"

"Let's go. I will walk you home." My brows furrowed.

"Thanks for offering but I can walk myself" I turned around and began to walk away when he caught up to me again.

"I wanted to say thanks for caring for Go-woon. I couldn't just let you leave." He expressed his gratitude making me halt.

"Did you just thanked me?" I looked up at him n my still halted position, that is my hands stopped in midway of wearing headphones.

Seojun avoided my eyes as he put his hands in his pocket.

"I didn't know you could say thanks." I laughed as he scoffed and looked away.

"Say it again! I wanna savour the feeling of hearing thanks from Bratty kid like you."

To my surprise, he didn't retort with witty response, instead, he apologized.

"I am sorry. I am not going to say it again."

He said as brilliant idea came into my mind. I pouted my lips and looked at him with sorry look my face.

"I should be the one to apologise"

"You? For what?" He asks while eyeing my curiously and his eyes widen once he saw me leaning towards him.

"Because... I did saw everything."

He took a moment to understand what I just spoke.

"Everything?" His eyes still held confusion but as soon as my eyes raked over his pant area he understood what I was talking about. I scrunched my face and held up my fingers as if mimicking Cheetah's claws.

I took a run for it as his eyes widen.

"Yahh!! You said you did not see anything!!" I laughed and went out of his vision, leaving him flustered and embarrassed.

She is unbelievable.

Seojun thought to himself as he tried to supress the blush that crept up his neck out of embarrassment.

Meanwhile you were happily jogging back to your face with a small smile etched on your face.

You couldn't lie, the recent encounter was actually humourous and were sure that this was going to be a trending topic for you to tease him. With a smile still on your face, you entered the house.

"I am back." I announced but my steps were halted when I saw a boy standing near the kitchen counter with his back facing you but what concerns you more is that, you knew this guy.

"Welcome Ms.Y/N" Ms.Choi greets you as the said guy turns around and meets your eye. He stood there as if he was sculpture and same could be said for me. I was halted in the position I was earlier, that was, taking out the socks.

"Am I hallucinating or....?"

"It's Soo-ho alright." Ms.Choi gave you a warm smile making you cough in awkwardness. My eyes narrowed when it landed once again on Soo-ho who seemingly challenging you in a un-blinking staring competition.

"I will be down in a minute."

I wasn't planning on coming down stairs at all. As soon as I closed my room's door, I began to choke the air with my hands as if I had Soo-ho in my grasp. With a sigh I retreated my hands squared my shoulder.

"I can't let a guy affect me."

I went to my wardrobe and pick the most comfortable wear I could find and wore my slide in which I usually wear.

As I walked downstairs, I noticed Soo-ho and Ms.Choi engaged in a conversation as he helped her to set the table.

"Please don't! It's my j-"

"Let me help Ms.Choi. I insist." He says with the most polite tone making my lips purse in disbelief.

"I iNsiST~" I mocked his tone with a disgusted face and rolled my eyes but soon I realised they both heard me and now were looking at me with different reactions.

Ms.Choi's face held little shock and awkwardness while Soo-ho face held a stoic look and....is that guilt ridden look?

I shrugged it off and walked down the stairs in a carefree manner. I brushed past Soo-ho with a air of nonchalance and opened the fridge.

"Aren't you going to talk-? I thought he is your friend-"

"We are surely not. He is just...not a stranger." I stated while putting bottle on the table as Soo-ho cleaded his throat, suppressing the feeling of hurt that began to rise in his body.

Ms.Choi looked between you two, clearly unbeknownst to the rising tension in the air. She went deep inside the kitchen to get the the dishes as my gaze turned towards Lee Soo-ho.

"Why are you here?" I crossed my arms while leaning against the counter.

"Ms.Choi invited me"

There it was. I was stupid to think he came here to apologize. My eyes narrowed at him as I advanced towards him.

"She doesn't even know yo-"

"He met me at the comic store you usually go to. Earlier you weren't picking up the call so I thought you were there but I found him instead. He introduced himself as your classmate so I thought it would be nice to invite him for dinner."

Ms.Choi kept speaking as she put the dishes on the table while settling the glass as I looked at her dumbfounded.

"You can't just invite anyone!" I reasoned while giving side eye to Soo-ho who stood there with an amused look.

As if he was enjoying this conversation.

"I know he is the guy you call 'Brooding boy' which I don't get why because he is such a sweet one." She smiled at him as he returned it. I blinked rapidly.

"How did you..."

"She talked to me once remember?" Soo-ho interjected as I gave him a look.

"You don't get a say in this conversation." Soo-ho shrugged and stepped away from the kitchen marching towards the living room.

"Ms. Kang Y/N. You need friends-"

Ouch.

I am not that lonely.

In fact, he needs friends....and a life.

"I have friends. I don't need more."

"Earlier you seemed to like him, did something happen-"

"No- I mean, do you hate me or something...?" I let out a exasperated sigh and I clung onto her. Her eyes widen as she looked me into eye.

"I would never! I- I am sorry, I thought this would make you happy since you were not acting as yourself since yesterday- I am sorry Ms.Y/N"

She....noticed..?

I didn't say anything for a moment I got lost in thought.

"I was beginning to worry and since I didn't have number of your friends, I couldn't call them to your house and when I met him he told me he was your friend so-"

"He said that?" I asked and sneak a glance in his direction, noticing him sitting up straight on the couch.

So formal.

"Yes. I am sorry Ms.Y/N I didn't want to upset you." She says and I gave her a pat.

"No it's alright! It's just-"

My gaze went back to the figure sitting stiffly on the couch.

"You did the right thing" I reassure her as she smiled at last with a proud glint in her eyes.

"I made your favourite dishes! Hope he likes them too" Ms.Choi immediately went to her work again as I noticed the happiness on her face.

She gets paid for her job but she behaves like she really wants to help me.

"C'mon Soo-ho-sshi" I called out to him and began to walk towards the dining table when Ms.Choi called out to me again.

"Why don't we eat it in traditional way? We should get the table and sit on the floor" I bet she was beaming at her idea and you gave her a smile of approval no matter how much you were against the idea.

"Help her Soo-ho-sshi" Ms.Choi says as Soo-ho stood up and began to walk after me.

"I can do this alone. You go back" I said but he ignored me and followed me nevertheless. So I did the same thing, I ignored his presence and went to the store room and slid open the door of the rack. At a certain height was the table and it was seemingly out of my range. Without looking back I took a stool and stood up on it.

I carefully grabbed the table and slid it out but dust flowed into my nose, tickling it. And there it was, I sneezed and not so gracefully lost my balance. I let out a short yelp of surprise as I felt a strong grip on my waist and the table fell down with a loud thud. I froze in my position, very well aware of his hands on my waist.

"Is everything alright!?" Ms.Choi's panicked voice cut through our interaction. I hastily got out of Soo-ho's grip as he fumbled with his hands as if not sure where to put them.

"Yes!"

I grunted and picked up the table, swaying right when I lifted it up.

Why do I have to act like this?

My gaze locked with his and I noticed a glint of curiosity and amusement flickering in them. Of course he was enjoying while seeing me suffer. I took a step and the upper part of table hit the door frame. I felt the table' weight lighten as familiar cologne hit my nose reminding me of the time he hugged me.

"Let me do it. I don't want you to get hurt." He takes it from your hands but I gripped it from the other side.

"I said I don't need your help"  I hissed at him but he remains unbothered

"And I said I don't want you to get hurt"

I have hurted you much already.

He bit his tongue and spoke instead-

"Let's go together." Without waiting for a response he began to walk out of the room as we both gripped the table. We walked into the living room, and placed the table on the carpet. Soo-ho tried to open the leg of the table but I was met with sound of *crack*

His eyes met mine as his palm held the broken leg of the table we were gonna dine on. His eyes widen as his eyes met those of Ms.Choi's who paused in her position.

"Ahah....don't worry. It's alright." She says as she decides to put utensils in the place of broken leg.

"I am sorry.." Soo-ho says as Ms.Choi laughs it off. In reality, it wasn't mine. It was Ms.Choi's family possession. I almost snickered at situation but kept my mouth shut once I noticed the expression on Ms.Choi's face.

The dinner was over after non-stop conversing of Ms.Choi with Soo-ho who was surprisingly answered her every question while I sat quietly, enjoying my proper meal.

I was told to see Soo-ho out and as we were walking out the gate, he turned towards me. Not giving him chance to talk I spoke up.

"Next time don't bother yourself with this."

"I couldn't deny her request" He defends and I gave him a sarcastic smile.

"That's surprising because as far as I remember, you are quite good at acting cold and distant." I knew I shouldn't have said this but what's done is done. He didn't say anything while his mind kept screaming at him to apologise but his lips were sealed.

As if your hurtful eyes made him stop from clarifying.

"I understand Soo-ho that you don't want me to be around so don't coerce yourself. Besides, I don't think you would have problem with that....after all, you are the best at being stoic."

And I shut the door in his face.

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