CH 109
101st Confession
Ethanâs friends pressed him on the subject, asking him how long heâd been dating, who made the first move, etc. They bombarded him with questions.
Ethan was shy at first, but then he proudly explained his relationship history.
âOf course, I asked her out first. It was so cute how shy she was when I told her.â
Ethanâs face beams with happiness.
âActually, weâve only been dating for a few days, but I want to marry Lady Layla.â
âOh, really?â
âIs it that good?â
âNow is a good time for everyone. I donât want to go back later and have the beans peeled off.â
His reaction was a half surprise, half realism. Ethan was a little worried that he was thinking about marriage right away.
âAt first, I wondered if I was being too sensible, but it wasnât. Just looking at Lady Layla gives me a feeling that I want to live with her person for the rest of my life.â
âHmm, really?â
âHerwin, donât you feel the same way? Youâve been together for a while and youâre getting married.â
Ethan pointed at Herwin, and all eyes turned to him. Fiddling with Luciaâs hand, Herwin replied seriously.
âOf course, I donât want to imagine a future without Lucia in my life.â
âHeh, Herwinâ¦â¦.â
Lucia was very happy to hear it, but she was embarrassed in front of their friends. Lucia blushed and started to pull away, but Herwin pulled her into his arms.
Instantly, everyoneâs eyes turned cold.
âHey, hey! Anyway, Iâm saying this because I feel the same way as Herwin. Of course, I donât know what Lady Layla will think, but Iâll do my best until Iâm sure.â
In other words, he didnât want to lose his current lover.
They envied him for seeming so blind to love, yet so sure of his heart.
Thinking of Lucas, Arista smiled bitterly and touched her hand.
Then another person, Brian, looked at Ethan with the same envy as Arista. The golden eyes, which always shined mischievously, calmed down and quietly turned to Christine next to him.
Ethan panicked at the sudden silence. Aside from Lucia and Herwin, who were lost in their worlds, Arista and Brian were deep in thought.
Ethan rolled his eyes, but when his eyes met Christineâs, he blurted out.
âSo, come to think of it, Christine, didnât you say you were going to meet up, too? Did you go on a blind date?â
âYou mean me? No, I havenât.â
Thankfully, the mood lightened and everyone listened to what Christine had to say.
âThe person I was supposed to meet with suddenly canceled, so Iâm looking for someone new.â
âWhat? He canceled all of a sudden?â
âYeah, I donât know the exact reason, but the way he canceled without giving me a proper explanation, I donât think he would have lasted long with me even if we had met.â
She said it bluntly, but she could tell she was upset that the man canceled the meet-up for no reason.
âLetâs just hope the next person is someone nice, and Iâm sure Iâll find someone as nice as Luciaâs.â
Herwinâs eyes sharpened momentarily at the mention of Bern, but none of them cared.
On the contrary, everyone was cheering Christine on, hoping she would find someone good.
After looking at Christine, Luciaâs gaze naturally shifted to Brian next to her.
This time, he was looking at her with a pensive look on his face. She couldnât tell what he was thinking.
âBy the way, Lucia, when are you getting married? Have you booked a venue?â
Just then, Christine asked Lucia about marriage. Luciaâs eyes locked with Brianâs for a moment, and she shuddered, visibly flustered.
âUh, huh?â
âNo, we havenât decided anything yet.â
Luckily, it was Herwin who answered for the flustered Lucia. A warm hand gripped her shoulder reassuringly.
âI donât think itâs only up to us, so weâll have to talk about it as a family sooner or later, and my father left yesterday, so heâll be here in two days.â
âI see, so youâll have to schedule something soon.â
âWell, yeah. I think they were all a little freaked out at first, but theyâve taken it pretty well. I think weâll be fine.â
Herwinâs friends asked him other questions about the marriage, which he answered dutifully.
At one point, Brian stood up from his seat.
âExcuse me, I need to use the restroomâ¦â¦.â
Lucia was the only one who heard him, as everyone was engrossed in Herwinâs story. When she saw him slowly walking away, she quickly got up from her seat.
âIâm going to use the restroom.â
With that, she slipped away from her friends and ran to where Brian had disappeared.
As she rounded the corner, she saw him leaning against the wall.
He looked like heâd been waiting for someone, and Luciaâs face lit up.
âWhoa, what a surprise!â
âDonât be surprised. You came after me first.â
âThatâs true, butâ¦â¦.â
âSo why did you keep staring at me?â
âAm I being obnoxious?â
âNot really, but Iâm a pretty good judge of character.â
Brian replied with a smirk, but Lucia couldnât help but laugh. After a momentâs hesitation, she saw her friends talking in the distance and spoke up.
âActually, thereâs something I wanted to ask you.â
âWhat is it?â
âYou⦠you like Christine, donât you?â
Brianâs eyes flickered for a moment, then he smiled.
âAm I being too obvious?â
Lucia shook her head.
âItâs been obvious for a while. From the way you teased Christine about getting engaged, to the way you stiffened when she said sheâs meeting someoneâ¦â¦.â
Brian touched his face at Luciaâs words. He hadnât realized it was so obvious.
âFrom your reaction, you like her, right?â
There was a pause, and then Brian burst out laughing, realizing that he hadnât been able to hide his feelings this time.
âI know, I feel like an idiot. If Iâd pretended I didnât care, would you have gotten the benefit of the doubt?â
âI donât think so.â
âReally?â
The smile wiped off Brianâs face for a moment.
He was a little hesitant because he had never revealed his true feelings to anyone before.
âYou donât have to tell me if you donât want to. I just wanted to make sure.â
Sensing his hesitation, Lucia took a step back, which only emboldened Brian.
âNo, Iâll tell you. I hope you donât mind.â
Brian slowly began to tell his story.
It started when he had just joined the academy and was getting to know his current friends.
âBack then, it wasnât as deep as it is now. Just a crush?â
At that time, it was just a crush. But when he started going to school with his friends, including Christine, Arista, and Lucia, he decided not to pursue it further.
Friends donât make lovers. That was the rule he set for himself.
âYou know, Iâve been going out with this girl and that girl a lot, and I actually started it to rebel against my father.â
Maybe it was a way of trying to get him to look out for himself. His high-maintenance father always looked out for his eldest son, and Brian saw himself as a fallback in case something went wrong.
âThen one day I just wanted to let it all go.â
He smiled and carried on as usual, but whenever he was alone, he felt depressed and didnât want to do anything.
He didnât want to die, but he felt like he had lost the will to live.
âI was tired of my father, who only saw me as a substitute for my brother, and I was tired of girls running after me based on my face.â
However, he had no way to express his feelings. He was always busy hiding his feelings by putting on a cheerful face, so he wasnât used to opening up to others.
As Brian was sinking deeper and deeper into his depression, Christine was the first to notice his condition.
âAre you okay these days?â
âYeah? What?â
Brian, wearing his usual smiling face, looked back at Christine casually.
âNo, I just thought you seemed a little out of sorts lately. Is something going on?â
Brianâs breath caught in his throat for a moment.
No one had ever acknowledged his condition before. Not the girls he liked, not the friends he hung out with every day.
Only Christine had ever looked at him as he was.
âI donât know what youâre talking about. Iâm not the one whoâs having a hard time. Thereâs nothing hard about someone so easy going.â
But Brian couldnât bring himself to admit that he was struggling. He wasnât ready to reveal his feelings yet.
ââ¦â¦I see. If so, thatâs a relief. I bought it just in case.â
Christine sounded relieved, but there was a hint of regret in her voice. She held the box of chocolates in her hand. She hesitated for a moment, then handed it to Brian.
âHere, have some. And if you have any trouble later, you can always come to me, okay?â
After Christine left, Brian was frozen in place for a while.
âIn the end, I couldnât eat any of the chocolate. I was a little afraid that my heart was caught, and it was such a waste. Well, it was even more unfortunate that I ended up having to throw it away because it went bad.â
It was four years ago now, so itâs easy to talk about it.
Lucia had no idea this had happened between them, or that Brian was struggling with his family.
âAnd itâs funny after Christine told me that, things got a little bit better. I donât know, maybe I just wanted someone to worry about me, and after that⦠I kind of fell in love with her.â
Brian shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.
âI was supposed to just have a crush on her, sheâs too much for a guy like me, so I guess I was just trying to get over Christine.â
Compared to his already dirty self, Christine was pure. He didnât want to put dirt on her whiteness.
âBut suddenly I got greedy. After watching the two of you all the time, I thought I would regret it later if I left it like this.â
âSo you confessed to Christine?â
Brian shook his head bitterly.
âNot yet.â
âThen what are you going to do? I thought you said youâd confront her soon.â
The corners of Brianâs mouth turned upward at Luciaâs words.
âPromise you wonât tell anyone?â
Brian brought his index finger to his lips and whispered confidentially. Lucia nodded, holding her breath.
He whispered something else, and Brian could see Luciaâs eyes widen.
âWell, really?â
âYes. So itâs a secret until I reveal it myself later?â
âOf course, of course! I wonât even tell Herwin.â
Lucia, who had been bouncing on her feet like an excited girl, clasped Brianâs hand and her eyes shone.
âI hope it works out.â
Surprised, Brian smiled softly, not his usual smirk.
âReally?â
âI really do.â
âYouâre not worried about â¦â¦Christine being wasted?â
âWell, I can see where youâre coming from, but I know youâre not that bad of a person. You two are great together.â
Brianâs earlobes flared, and he couldnât help but laugh. It was only a word, but it made him happy.
âThank you, Lucia, youâve given me more courage.â
âNo, I didnât do anything.â
They walked away, both promising to keep what happened between them a secret.
It seemed like theyâd been gone for a while, so they hurried to join their friends.
As if on cue, Herwin got up to find Lucia.
âWhy are you so late? Did something happen with that guy?â
âThat guy. You donât trust your friends that much?â
Despite Brianâs incredulity, Herwin was still staring at Lucia. Lucia excused herself, saying theyâd only had a brief conversation.
âWell, itâs getting late already. We should get going.â
Ethan was right, they had been there for more than five hours. One by one, they got up to go home.
âChristine, youâll have to let me know after the meet-up. Do you understand?â
âYeah, sure, see you later!â
With that, they parted ways, Lucia exchanging one last glance with Brian before climbing into the carriage with Herwin.
Once the carriage was in motion, Herwin asked.
âHowâs Brian?â
âWhat?â
Lucia tensed at the sudden mention of Brianâs name.
âWhat the hell, I thought he was heartbroken and depressed, and he likes Christine.â
Luciaâs eyes widened at the unexpected statement.
âHow do you know that⦠Ugh!â
Her mouth moved without her realizing it, but sheâd already reacted to the important part. Herwin smirked.
âOf course, I know. Iâve seen and spent years with him. Hasnât he had a crush on Christine since our second year at the Academy?â
Luciaâs mouth fell open. She had only recently realized that Brian had a crush on Christine, but Herwin had known long before that.
âWell, yes, but Brian seemed to think no one knew he liked Christine.â
âOf course, he does, because he hasnât shown it. Iâm the one who knows, and even now, no one knows but me.â
Herwin answered bluntly, saying that it was natural. Lucia thought Herwin wasnât paying attention, but he actually was.
Lucia was intrigued to see a new side of her lover and childhood friend.