CH 18
101st Confession
âIf itâs Bianca, itâll be okay, right?ââ
Lucia had only known her for a little over a month, but she was not the kind of person to pass on other peopleâs secrets.
Lucia finally decided to trust Bianca and spoke up.
ââ¦â¦Iâm sorry I lied to you, but I like Herwin.â
Ugh.
She heard a sharp intake of breath.
She would have thought they were just childhood friends, but one of them had a crush on the other.
âYou freaked out, didnât you?â
âHuh? Uh-huh. A little surprised⦠No, honestly, a lot surprised, because youâve never shown any signs of it.â
âIâve been trying so hard not to show it.â
Bianca was speechless for a moment. No, she seemed to have a lot to say, but she didnât know what to say.
Lucia made an annoyed noise as she continued to open her mouth.
âIâm sure you have a lot of things you want to ask me.â
âIs that okay? If it makes you uncomfortable, you can email me at â¦â¦.â
âI think Iâll be fine, I canât help it since Iâve been found out, and youâre not going to tell my story anywhere else, right?â
âUgh, why would I tell anyone else about this!â
Bianca threw up her hands and swore that she would never tell anyone else.
When Lucia gestured for her to ask anything, Bianca finally spoke up.
âWhy did you hide your crush on Herwin all this time? Just today, girls were asking you to introduce them to him, and they wouldnât have asked if they knew you liked him.â
âWell⦠itâs none of their business. You know, there are a lot of people talking about me and Herwin. They talk a lot as it is, and I canât imagine what would happen if they found out I had a crush on Herwin.â
âOh⦠sure.â
âI just like him, thatâs all, but I donât like people judging me and putting me down for that reason alone, so Iâve been hiding things. I made a promise to Herwin.â
âA promise?â
Lucia thought for a moment. She wasnât sure how far to go.
âBianca, can you make me a promise?â
âYes, what is it?â
âPromise me that youâll never tell anyone what Iâm about to tell you.â
âIâll never tell anyoneâ¦â¦.â
Bianca replied with a lighthearted laugh but stopped when she saw Luciaâs serious expression.
âYeah, Iâll never tell anyone. I promise.â
Biancaâs green eyes took on a serious glow. The look of trust in her eyes eased Luciaâs worries.
Then she told her story.
She told her that she had a crush on Herwin from the age of eight to sixteen and that sheâd been dumped nearly sixty times.
How theyâd promised each other that theyâd be best friends, not crushes.
In between, though, she didnât mention anything personal about Herwinâs trauma.
After nearly an hour of silence, Bianca nodded with a serious expression.
âSo that is what happened, haha, itâs kind of weird, isnât it?â
âYeah. A lot of weird.â
Bianca said bluntly.
âHow can it be, youâve had a crush on Herwin for eight years, but you usually hide your feelings and stay friends.â
âThatâs right⦠Weâve been together for so long that we can act differently when weâre friends and when we confess.â
âEven so, it would be weird if one of you had a crush on the other, but youâve been together for so long?â
âThatâs because he cares. Even if we stayed friends, it would only end if he avoided me, so Iâm grateful that even if I confessed to him, he immediately went back to normal.â
ââ¦â¦but arenât you upset that youâve been dumped 60 times? Itâs kind of annoying when you get dumped that much⦠Oh, Iâm sorry. Anyway, Iâd be sad if he didnât accept it once.â
âIâd be lying if I said I wasnât, but itâs okay, itâs better than being forced to accept.â
âWhat? Donât you think itâs better to start dating someone even if you donât like them right away, because then you might end up liking them?â
ââ¦â¦On the other hand, he might never like me. He has to be on the same page as me. And Herwin doesnât just take my confessions for granted. Heâs serious every time.â
âHow do you know heâs taking it seriously?â
âThatâs a hunch. I think he gets annoyed sometimes because I confide in him so often, but he doesnât ignore me.â
âSo you trust each other quite a bit?â
Bianca exclaimed, snapping Lucia out of her deep thoughts.
âWas that too serious? Iâm sorry, itâs the first time Iâve told anyone about this.â
âItâs okay. Itâs refreshing. Iâve always felt like youâve always kept secrets, even though you seem to wear everything on your sleeve.â
âDid Iâ¦?â
âYes. Thatâs why kids can get to you so easily, but they canât treat you badly. You have an aura of untouchability if you will.â
âOh, no. Donât give me too much credit.â
âNo, itâs not. Seriously, Iâm attracted to you because of it.â
ââ¦â¦really?â
Lucia shuddered. An aura. She couldnât tell where it was coming from.
âBut what if he has a crush or a girlfriend?â
ââ¦â¦Uh, I donât know. I mean, Iâve never seen him date anyone, and Iâve never seen him like anyone.â
âBut maybe someday heâll like someone?â
Bianca asked seriously.
Sheâs laughing now, but sheâs right, there will be a day.
âWhat will I do then?â
She doesnât know. Itâs something thatâs never happened to her before, so she doesnât know what to expect, and if he ends up liking someone elseâ¦.â¦
âShouldnât I just leave him alone?â
âWhat, youâd have to sabotage it, thatâs what you mean.â
Lucia shook her head.
âNo, thatâs not what I mean. Herwin would hate that. I think Iâll just stick around and keep confessing to him as usual.â
ââ¦â¦Youâre so great, too.â
Lucia smirked, and Bianca let out an unintelligible sigh.
âI know, itâs your business, and itâs funny that Iâm telling you what to do.â
Bianca shifted on her hips, leaning against the window sill.
âWell, if you ever want to talk to me about anything related to Herwin, Iâm here for you. Iâm sure you need to get it off your chest somewhere every once in a while.â
âAhâ¦â¦.â
âIâll never tell anyone, so donât worry too much.â
Lucia couldnât help but smile at Biancaâs concern for her.
âYeah, Iâll do that.â
âOkay, we should get going. Lights out in a few minutes.â
After parting ways with Bianca, Lucia entered her room and went straight to bed.
Somehow, she felt relieved.
She hadnât expected it to be so relaxing, just to confide in someone else about her feelings.
Lucia fell asleep quietly, thinking she was lucky to be caught by Bianca this time.
* * *
From the day she told Bianca everything, Lucia shared a lot with her, confided in her, and they became closer than ever.
Bianca has been very supportive of Luciaâs love life, sometimes even fending off women who try to approach Herwin.
Sometimes Bianca could be a little too self-conscious and overbearing, but other than that, she was a dear friend who knew her secrets.
âPrincess Lydiaâs been suspicious lately.â
âHuh? For what?â
Christine stepped away for a moment, leaving Bianca and her alone, and Bianca glared at Arista in the distance with an inquisitive look.
Lucia was taken aback by her outburst.
âWhat the hell, you canât even see that?â
Bianca thumped her chest in frustration and pointed at Arista, who was flanked by Herwin, Ethan, Brian, and the other boys.
It was the usual scene at swordsmanship class.
âTheyâre talking?â
âTheyâre not just talking, but if you look closely, theyâre touching him.â
She looked again, and Arista was laughing out loud, punching Herwin and the other boys.
âIâve been feeling it since last time, Princess Lydia must have a crush on Herwin.â
âAww, thatâs ridiculous.â
âOh, look at her, donât you realize that she has a crush on Herwin, and isnât she touching him because sheâs interested in him?â
Bianca lowered her voice for a moment. As she continued to speak with such conviction, Lucia began to get a little confused.
So she watched them closely again, but she couldnât see the point of what Bianca was saying.
If someone was in love with Herwin, she couldnât help but notice.
Even if she looks around, she can see the black hearts of the girls watching Herwin, and there is no way that Arista wonât notice it.
Arista was talking and laughing, not only with Herwin but with the other boys as well.
âNo matter how you look at it, itâs not, theyâre just friends. If you look, sheâs not just messing with Herwin, sheâs messing with Ethan and Brian.â
âHa, thatâs so frustrating. Well, I canât help it if thatâs what you think, but arenât you nervous? Princess Lydia is popular with everyone, young and old, and what if Herwin has a crush on her?â
âUm⦠well.â
Lucia replied shakily. Bianca gave her an incredulous look.
âThatâs the answer youâre going to come up with here?â
âI donât think I should be so upset, I just canât imagine Herwin liking anyoneâ¦â¦.â
ââ¦â¦You do like Herwin, donât you?â
âRegardless of what I like, Herwin isnât the kind of person who would suddenly like someone, I canât imagine.â
She doesnât know whether to call this bold or naive. Bianca was momentarily at a loss for words.
âOkay, okay, okay, letâs not talk about it.â
ââ¦â¦Hush, are you mad?â
âIâm not angry! Why would I be angry!â
âOh, you look angry.â
Biancaâs lips pouted as Lucia nudged her arm in her trademark patronizing way.
She glared at Lucia for a moment, then pinched her delicate shoulder.
âYou think Iâm going to let you get away with being cute?â
âOuch! It hurts!â
Luciaâs face was bright despite the pain.
As the two were teasing each other, Christine returned and the swordsmanship lesson was over.
âHaha, the practical evaluation is next week.â
âI heard theyâre changing the venue, but where will it be?â
âI heard from the seniors that weâre going to the wilderness, and the mission is to get to the target and back.â
After class, Herwin and his friends returned to the group and were talking about the lab assessment.
âLab assessment? Whatâs going on?â
âYeah, suddenly we have an emergency assessment next week?â
âI guess theyâre going to give us a midterm grade. Itâs already May, so itâs time for a midterm.â
Brian and Ethan explained.
Swordsmanship is a very hands-on subject, so they sometimes take off half a day or a whole day to teach elsewhere.
They wondered if that would be the case this time.
âDo you think there will be a change in grades this time?â
Ethan asked.
âJeremyâs been doing a lot better lately. Donât you think heâs going to bump up his grade?â
âHmm, Iâm just hoping for a middle-of-the-pack.â
Brian didnât seem too interested in this assessment.
âYou donât seem to have much use for the sword, so why are you taking this class?â
âI didnât want to, but what can I say, my dad, made me do it.â
Brian sighed heavily, and Herwin approached.
âLucia, where are my clothes?â
âOh, I got a little cold and I was wearing them. Iâll give them to you right now.â
Just before class, Herwin had left his uniform with Lucia.
Despite it being early May, it was still quite chilly, and Lucia briefly wrapped Herwinâs blazer around her shoulders.
When Lucia hurried to give it back, Herwin held out his hand.
âThatâs okay, you keep it on. Can I get some water?â
âSure. I already left some.â
Lucia handed him the water bottle, and Herwin gulped it down.
Their friends stared at the two of them as if they were watching a married couple of ten years.