CH 35
101st Confession
<CHAPTER 35
â⦠on top!â¦Miss!⦠Miss!â
âUghâ¦â¦.â
Lucia frowned and rolled over. For some reason, there was a commotion around her.
Someone was waking her up.
âMiss Lucia!â
ââ¦â¦?â
Lucia finally opened her eyes and saw a familiar face through her blurry vision.
ââ¦â¦Sean.â
âMiss, you slept here for what, oh my God, all this food!â
âYuck!â
Luciaâs maid, Sean, began to nag her, and the bell rang. Lucia ruffled her hair, and Sean sighed.
âDid something happen to you? Youâre suddenly looking for wine at nightâ¦â¦.â
As Lucia followed the grumbling Sean around, she realized what had happened last night.
Yesterday, after meeting her father, she couldnât sleep and drank wine while reading her journal.
Then⦠she must have fallen asleep on the terrace.
âI canât help it, itâs summer, but itâs still chilly at night, and I donât know if Iâm catching a cold.â
Sean said she would prepare a bath for her right away and left. Lucia looked around the room blankly, then coughed.
âKuhh. Kuhh.. Hah⦠what am I doing?â
Was it the diary that had brought her back to the past? Or was it the aftermath of a hangover? Her stomach rumbled.
Lucia forced down nausea that threatened to overwhelm her and followed Sean into the bathroom. Sean and the other maids were filling the tub with water.
âMiss, itâs not quite ready yetâ¦â¦.â
âSean, Iâm cold.â
âThatâs because youâre sleeping on the terrace. Iâm almost ready, so hurry up and come in.â
Lucia deferred to the maids, stripped off her clothes, and stepped into the tub, the warmth of the water easing her shivering a bit.
âDo you feel all right? Hereâs some honey water for you.â
âThanks. Iâm glad youâre here.â
âYou can talk about that after youâve recovered.â
Sean glanced at Lucia and cupped her body. The strong, yet gentle grip felt good, loosening the stiff muscles from sleeping curled up in a ball.
When Luciaâs eyes were closed and she looked exhausted, Sean asked.
âLady, are you sure nothing happened to you?â
âNot really. Sometimes I just want to drink alone.â
âYou have those days, butâ¦â¦.â
âYou donât have to give me a massage anymore. You should probably get out of here. Iâll call you if I need you.â
ââ¦â¦Yes, please call me if you need anything.â
Lucia, who had been smiling as Sean walked out, now looked around the steamy bathroom with an expressionless face.
For a moment, she remembered Sean looking at her with concern.
She had known her since they were children.
They were close friends in a different sense than Herwin, having grown up side by side, like childhood friends.
It was a close enough relationship that she knew everything about her, except that she liked him, but that was no longer possible.
After what happened with Bianca, sheâd learned how dangerous it was to show her true colors.
Sometimes sheâd feel sorry for Sean when she was in a bad mood, but her defenses would kick in and sheâd play it off as if nothing was wrong.
BAM!
As her stomach began to churn again, Lucia scrubbed her face to clear her tangled thoughts.
âThatâs not whatâs important right now.â
There was only one chance left to confess to Herwin.
Her father said he would wait for her, but there wouldnât be much time.
How could he make Herwinâs heart the same as her own?
After thirteen years of failing to change his mind, would she be able to do it with just one chance?
For a moment, she thinks positively, but then her thoughts turn to the negative.
âIf only my dad had forced us to meet.â
Lucia muttered under her breath, and when she realized what sheâd said, she patted her cheek in surprise.
âYou canât sound weak now.â
She was the one who asked for the last chance, not anyone else. She canât back down anymore.
Lucia slipped headfirst into the bathtub and tried to organize her tangled thoughts.
* * *
âMiss, you have a visitor from Phoenaeus.â
ââ¦â¦Herwin?â
Lucia, finally recovering from her hangover, looked up at Aaron in surprise.
âI saw him yesterdayâ¦whatâs going on?â
âShall I ask him to come in?â
âEh? Eh, of course. Please show him to the drawing room. Iâll be there soon.â
Aaron bowed and stepped back. Lucia hurriedly checked herself.
She caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror. Her face was haggard with a hangover, and the lack of color made her look sick.
Herwin would have arrived at the drawing room by now, and she was running out of time to get dressed.
âWhat am I going to doâ¦â¦.â
âLady, please sit down for now. Weâll get you dressed quickly.â
The maids, familiar with Luciaâs fondness for Herwin, hurriedly began to dress her up. She could see their hands busy with the dressing table mirror.
âIâve masked your tiredness with a little skin makeup, and made your lips look fuller, is that enough for you?â
It didnât take long, and the maids were done. They certainly looked much better than they did at first.
âYes, thank you. I didnât know what to do without you guys.â
âThatâs easy enough, come on, put these on and go.â
The maidsâ hands held shawls. Lucia wrapped herself in the shawl and, cheered on by the maids, made her way to the drawing room where Herwin was.
As always, her heart fluttered frantically in anticipation of meeting him. Especially when she realized that she was only a few days away from holding him in her heart.
Lucia bit down hard on her lower lip and took a deep breath. Then she put on her usual smile and opened the door.
âHerwin.â
âHello?â
Herwin was sitting cross-legged, sipping his tea as if he were at home. Somehow, he looked even more handsome than yesterday, and her heart fluttered.
Lucia didnât seem to mind her feelings and walked over to him.
âAm I too late?â
âNo. I came unannounced.â
âI know. What brings you here? Itâs only been a day since we saw each other.â
Lucia sat across with a big smile, and his red eyes swept her.
âThereâs something I forgot to tell you yesterday.â
âWhat is it?â
âIâm going to be up north for a month or so.â
Luciaâs walls shook, and Herwin sipped his tea.
âI should have told you yesterday in front of all the people, but I forgot. I could have told you in a letter, but I wanted to tell you in person.â
Something about the way he sipped his tea and spoke so casually shook Lucia.
She wasnât sure if he was consciously saying it, but it felt like he was telling her that she was special, unlike the other girls.
Lucia suddenly remembered Arista and opened her mouth.
âDid you tell Arista?â
âYeah, I told her yesterday, right before we left, but the others left first.â
ââ¦â¦I see.â
More special than Arista. Of course, she couldnât be. Lucia stopped getting her hopes up.
âWhat are you going to the north for?â
âItâs time to take over, and you know that the number of monsters in the North is increasing rapidly, right?â
âYeah, you told me about it before.â
âRight. The rate at which the monsters are increasing is alarming. Theyâve found signs of them moving in swarms, just like the monster waves when I was a kid.â
The monster wave was a distant memory. It was serious enough that the Herwins had to rely on Agnes for over a year.
âIn a letter from my father, he told me that he had found a colony of monsters, and I was going to help him destroy them.â
The thought of Herwin going to such a dangerous place made Lucia nervous.
Part of her wanted to tell him not to go, but she wasnât old enough to be a fool.
Unable to express her distress, Lucia clenched her fists.
âDo you have a departure date?â
âIn a week.â
Only a week. Only seven days until he left. Luciaâs hard-won smile faltered.
Her eyes narrowed and a pained expression crossed her face, and Herwin paused.
âDonât worry too much. Iâll be back safely.â
Herwinâs red eyes softened as he reassured Lucia, and she felt tears well up in her eyes at his gentleness.
But Lucia bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself together.
âIf youâre participating in a sweep, you might not be able to come back within a month, right?â
âThatâs true⦠but Iâll be back in time.â
What goes around comes around, but as is often the case with people, things donât always go according to plan.
Itâs not that she doesnât trust Herwin. But if he leaves, sheâll never have the chance to confess to him.
There would be a gap of at least a month. Would her father wait that long?
âHow can things be like this?â
Not even half a day had passed since she had asked John for time, and before she knew it, a weekâs time limit had flashed before her eyes.
It was as if God had conspired to make her give up on Herwin.
As her mind raced, her gaze drifted to Herwinâs wrist.
There was something all too familiar on his wrist.
âAre you still wearing that?â
âHuh? Ah, this.â
Lucia muttered, and Herwin looked down at his sleeve.
âI feel a little empty without it now.â
âBut, itâs so oldâ¦â¦.â
Lucia was referring to the cufflinks.
The same red cufflinks sheâd given him on the most terrible day of her life when she was 16.
Now, five years later, they were scuffed up and lacking their initial sparkle, but he still wore them.
âItâs pretty old but itâs still good, and you gave it to me.â
Herwin chuckled. He could see himself as a child there.
It must have been a terrible memory for him, too, and it was both grateful and endearing that he spoke of it in such a precious way.
Lucia bit down hard on her lower lip and ducked her head.
âAre you feeling a little off today? Are you sickâ¦â¦.â
Noticing that her mood had subsided from yesterday, Herwin reached out to her. But before his hand could reach hers, she spoke first.
âHerwin.â
âYes?â
âOne day before you go. Can you give me just one day?â
Before he could comprehend what she was saying, Lucia lifted her bowed head.
A rigid form took shape within the blue eyes as if they had made a decision.
Lucia, who always looked so young, looked different today.
âIt doesnât matter, but⦠For a day, all day?â
Lucia nodded. Herwin reviewed his schedule. Nothing out of the ordinary.
âOkay, I donât mind any time. When would be good?â
âSince today is Sunday, how about next Friday?â
âOkay. Weâll meet then.â
Herwin accepted and asked if she had any ideas for what she wanted to do that day.
He didnât seem to know this was a date request. Just before going north, he seemed to think he will be having a good time with his childhood friend.
Lucia felt a bitter taste in her mouth, but she couldnât spoil Herwinâs excitement.
Lucia responded to Herwinâs words with her usual cheerful self.
âReally, this is the last time.â
Luciaâs determination did not spread anywhere and quietly dispersed.