CH 45

Lucia briefly wondered if it was okay to get this close when they had only met three times and they weren’t even engaged.

She had never been in a relationship before, so she didn’t know if she was taking the right steps at the right pace.

As they walked down the street in silence, Lucia stared at Bern.

‘Why on earth did he pick me?’

When he had asked her out in a letter, she had been puzzled.

Of course, they’d parted on good terms when they’d met, so it might have been natural for him to ask afterward, but it seemed to her that Bern didn’t need to put himself out there as a potential fiancée.

A man who had just been made a marquis at the age of 24. Conforming in appearance, intellectually attractive, and affectionate. No siblings to jeopardize his marquise.

He’s a prime candidate for marriage. Lucia couldn’t understand why he chose her when there were so many others.

Objectively speaking, she wasn’t a bad bride-to-be, but there was plenty of room for reluctance due to the rumors spread throughout society.

But Bern had never once brought up the rumors or Herwin.

She was even more confused by his unclear intentions.

‘Is he weighing in with other women?’

Maybe he’s meeting with another woman somewhere else she doesn’t recognize to see who’s more suitable as a future spouse.

“……I.”

Lucia stared at Bern’s face and then realized his mouth was hanging open.

Bern looked embarrassed as if he were in trouble.

“Did I get something on my face, because you keep looking at me…….”

“Oh, no, no, I just had to think about something… I’m sorry.”

She thought she was sneaking a peek, but she must have looked at him overtly.

Lucia blushed and apologized constantly. Bern smiled awkwardly and waved his hands.

“Don’t apologize too much, it’s human nature, and may I ask what you were thinking?”

“That…….”

Lucia hesitated to say it. She wanted to cut him off and say no, but she couldn’t because she was thinking about him and no one else.

“I was wondering if you were seeing other women besides me…….”

“What?”

Bern looked at her in surprise. Lucia was embarrassed, knowing full well how rude it sounded, even if she had said it.

“It’s not that I doubt the Marquis. I’m just wondering if the Marquis has other potential fiancées besides me… That was rude, wasn’t it, and I apologize.”

“Is that what you’ve been thinking all this time?”

He asked, wanting to crawl into a rat hole. Lucia blushed, unable to look up.

Bern looked at her in confusion, then shook his head.

‘Did I do something to mislead you?’

He couldn’t remember doing anything like that, so why did Lucia think that?

It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing to suspect someone of cheating.

‘We weren’t even dating… Ah!’

Bern could almost see why Lucia had said that.

Bern and Lucia are just getting to know each other. There was no talk of dating or getting engaged.

Since they were looking for a partner anyway, it didn’t matter that they were looking for more than just each other.

In fact, some people chose to meet multiple candidates at the same time.

Bern cocked his head to the side.

Brown hair and a restless cute expression were seen.

Bern smiled slightly as his eyes met the blue wall.

“I don’t do the unscrupulous thing of seeing two girls at the same time.”

“Ah…….”

“So you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Then… may I ask if you’re meeting with me because you intend to get engaged?”

Bern nodded slowly. Lucia clamped her mouth shut, avoiding his good-natured yellow eyes.

She felt embarrassed as if she had a bad image of this man.

“If I didn’t have feelings for the young lady, I wouldn’t have asked her out here today. I don’t know if we’re actually going to get engaged or not, but for now, I’m thinking positively about the young lady. How about you?”

His tone was polite and caring. Lucia hesitated for a moment before finally speaking in a small voice.

“……I’m not one to spend time with someone I don’t like.”

She paraphrased, but it was clear that they were on the same page. That answer seemed to satisfy him, and Bern’s smile deepened.

“I’m glad to hear that, I was worried about what the young lady would think of me.”

His joke broke the slightly tense atmosphere.

She was worried that she’d asked too soon, but she felt relatively comfortable dealing with him now.

“By any chance, did the young lady receive it?”

“What do you mean?”

“An invitation to Her Majesty’s engagement party.”

“Ah, yes. The invitation came a few days ago.”

The engagement of the century for the Empress and Lydia. There was no way she wasn’t aware of this important event that the entire empire was watching.

“I heard they’re simplifying the engagement ceremony and only having an engagement party, so if you don’t mind, would you like to partner with me then?”

Lucia stopped walking, and Bern, who had stopped following, waited for her to answer.

It was extremely rare for a partner to attend a large party where the majority of the nobility would be present unless they were close friends or lovers.

Which meant that attending with him was tantamount to announcing her engagement to everyone else.

It would be natural to take his hand without a second thought. But the image of Herwin’s face that suddenly flashed into her mind stopped her.

Lucia’s eyes narrowed, becoming vacant, and then they whirled and she shook her head. The clear blue walls stared back at Bern.

“I wish you well, Marquis.”

“Please call me Bern from now on, young lady, not Marquis.”

“And please call me Lucia instead of young lady, too. Bern.”

By calling each other by their first names, they took a step forward in their engagement.

Lucia climbed into the carriage he had prepared for her, figuring that if Bern was any good, she would be fine.

* * *

“How was your date tonight? I think Marquis Casper drove you here.”

Julian asked Lucia during dinner.

She seemed pleased that Lucia had made it safely to Bern.

Seeing Julian’s obvious excitement, Lucia blurted out.

“It was fine, Bern’s a sweetheart, so I felt comfortable around him.”

“Wow, wow, wow, you’re calling each other by your first names already? Until yesterday, you were calling him Marquis!”

“……Well, it happened.”

“Well, I’ve seen him a few times, and he’s a sincere man, which is hard to find these days, but he might be hiding his true colors, so keep an eye on him.”

Lucia glanced at John at the head table. Unlike Julian, he doesn’t seem to like Bern.

From the person who hand-picked the candidate that was doing well with his daughter and responded to her suggestion to see the candidate, what is that blunt reaction?

Lucia wondered, and Julian whispered.

“Your father is a little upset. He’s having a hard time letting his daughter go.”

“What are you talking about with Lucia?”

“Say what I said.”

Julian deftly avoided John’s gaze, and he glanced at her for a moment.

“And that I’m going with Bern to the Empress’ engagement party.”

Lucia quietly confided her promise to her. Julian’s face brightened, and John’s darkened.

“Did the Marquis suggest it first?”

“Yes, so I agreed to go with him.”

Julian clapped her hands together.

“That’s good, my dear. I’m glad the Marquis likes you.”

“Pfft, if it’s Lucia, it won’t hurt to put it in your eyes, so what’s so good about it?”

“Why do you keep saying that? You’re lucky the Marquis of Casper likes Lucia. From what I’ve heard, he treats her well, so what’s the problem?”

John cleared his throat, unable to find the words to retort, but insisted that he would have to wait and see.

Julian grumbled as if it was a waste for Lucia to leave his arms now.

Leaving her parents to their childish bickering, Lucia slipped out of the dining area.

Back in her room, Lucia found a letter on her desk.

She approached it lightly, hoping it was from one of her friends, but paused when she saw the familiar seal and sender.

“……Herwin.”

From the moment she realized it was from him, her heart began to race.

The pounding increased, her stomach churned, and her hands grew clammy. Lucia pressed her hand to her heart.

Unlike before, when she’d felt nothing but good at the thought of Herwin, this time she felt uneasy.

It was the first time in a long time that she felt a sensation that shook her entire body, and it hit her harder than before.

Still, Lucia forced herself to stop shaking and tore open the letter. Herwin’s cool handwriting was familiar.

There wasn’t much in it, just a greeting and a note saying how well he was doing, slaying monsters in the north.

[My work is done, and I will return to the Island today.]

Lucia’s hand twitched.

He must have left when he wrote the letter, so given the time of day, he should be back in the islands soon.

[Her Majesty’s engagement is in a few days. I’m thinking of attending there, so are you?]

Lucia gave a small nod.

[Let’s meet again at the engagement. I hope to see you with a smile on your face this time.]

After that sentence, the letter went no further. The hand holding the letter fell helplessly down.

“With a smile…….”

Would she ever see him with a smile? No, that had happened a month ago, and she can see herself with a smile.

As Lucia’s thoughts became more and more negative, she suddenly remembered something. She let out a self-deprecating laugh and wiped her face.

“Come on, Lucia, he told you he wanted to see you with a smile on your face.”

She couldn’t believe she’d said it first, and now she blamed Herwin.

As her head cooled, she could think straight.

When she thought about it, it had been a long time since Herwin had written to her first. Usually, she’d be the one to write and he’d be the one to respond.

The only time he would write first was when it was urgent. Otherwise, it was rare.

“Is this his sign of reconciliation?”

It wasn’t really a reconciliation, since they never fought, but the way he wrote seemed to indicate that he cared about the last time they parted ways.

Even then, she caught herself being rejected unlike him.

The mere fact that she received a letter from him made her resolve waver.

But wavering doesn’t dramatically change the situation.

At the party where she will be reunited with Herwin, she will be Bern’s partner.

Then everyone will know about her relationship with Bern, not just him.

This is reality.

Reality is not as beautiful as fairy tales.

Lucia opened her closed eyes. The walls within her no longer shook.