CH 69

The day after the party. Lucia woke up to the blinding morning light.

“Hmmm!”

Even without looking in the mirror, she could feel her eyes were puffy, her throat was dry as a drought, and her voice cracked.

It was probably the aftermath of yesterday’s tears.

She was a mess, but it felt good to have gotten her emotions out for once.

“My goodness, miss. Your eyes are so puffy!”

Sean walked into the room and was stunned to see Lucia sitting up in bed.

Lucia smiled wryly at her.

“Is it too much?”

“Yes, I think they will be very surprised if they see it.”

“Oh, no.”

Lucia dabbed at the puffiness in her eyes with a towel, knowing that if her parents saw her like this, there would be an uproar.

“What happened yesterday?”

Lucia’s eyes had already been red and puffy since she arrived at the mansion yesterday.

But she didn’t seem to be in a good mood at the time, so Sean didn’t ask.

Rubbing her eyes with a cold washcloth, Lucia shook her head.

“No, nothing happened.”

When she said that nothing happened, Sean was a little taken aback.

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s just… Bern and I were just being honest with each other, and it was kind of refreshing!”

Lucia grinned as she dropped the towel. The dark clouds that had been hanging over her face lately were gone.

“I’m glad to hear that, then. I was afraid something had happened to you again.”

“Oh, nothing happened.”

“But you did have a brief argument with the Master yesterday before you left for the party.”

Sure enough, Lucas had brought up Bern’s ex and they’d had a brief argument.

‘Maybe things went well thanks to you.’

She was vaguely aware that something had happened between Bern and Celine, but she didn’t know that they were engaged to be married.

“Where is brother now?”

“He’s out at work, as usual.”

“Really?”

Lucia rose from her seat, knowing she’d have to apologize to Lucas when he came over later.

She hadn’t had a day off lately because of all the appointments. But as of yesterday, everything was over and she could finally rest.

It felt awkward to suddenly have time off after being so busy.

After wandering around the room in a frenzy, Lucia realized she had nothing to do and went out to the terrace to stare at the sunny weather.

“……It’s hot now.”

The sun has been burning since the summer.

Lucia, hiding in the shadow and looking up at the clear sky, fiddled with her lips.

Yesterday it had been Bern who had kissed her, but for a moment, as long as she had closed her eyes, it had felt like it had been Herwin.

When she woke up from her reverie and returned to reality, it felt like hell, but she couldn’t deny that it felt ecstatically good.

Thinking of Herwin, Lucia quickly wiped the smile from her face with her hand.

“Something… miserable…….”

It felt miserable to imagine herself alone with someone who didn’t accept her feelings.

But it wasn’t as painful as she thought it would be.

“I wonder if time is the medicine after all?”

As much as she hated to admit it, the passage of time had made her let go of her feelings for Herwin.

Whenever she thought of him, she always felt like there was a line drawn between him and herself.

She used to try to cross that line somehow, to reach him, but now she just stands still and looks at him, forever out of reach.

She wasn’t just letting go of Herwin with her head, but she was slowly taking steps to let go of him with her heart.

It was no longer awkward to not have him in her future.

While Lucia was lost in her thoughts of Herwin, she noticed a group of people gathered outside.

Julian and his maids were preparing tea in the garden.

As she looked at her mother, Lucia suddenly realized that her parents had also had an arranged marriage.

‘I wonder if my mother and father were awkward at first, too.’

Even if they’re not together now, they probably weren’t that close, to begin with.

They seemed so happy now, and she could tell they loved and cared for each other.

‘I wonder if I can do the same?’

Perhaps soon, she will be formally engaged to Bern. She wondered if she would be able to live as happily as her parents did now if she were to marry him.

Lucia rose from her seat to seek answers.

* * *

“Oh, Lucia, it’s been a while since you’ve been home at this hour.”

Julian spotted Lucia coming toward her and greeted her.

“I’ve been traveling all over the place and haven’t had a chance to be at the mansion, so I was wondering if I could join you if you don’t mind?”

“Why not.”

Julian graciously stepped aside and handed Lucia an extra mug of tea.

“It’s such a lovely day.”

“Yes, it is. It’s early summer, so the weather seems unusually nice.”

“I don’t like the heat, but I do like the sunny skies of summer. Perhaps I’ll summon Marquis Casper later and we can go out together?”

Lucia paused at the mention of Bern’s name and set down her teacup.

“Would you like that, then?”

Julian’s eyes narrowed when she said yes, expecting her to say no, of course not, they weren’t even engaged yet.

“I thought you were going to say no, of course not.”

“Well, we’re getting engaged anyway, and it can’t hurt to spend some time with your family.”

“Hmmm…….”

Julian stared at her daughter for a moment. Before, she’d been awkward at the mere mention of Bern and her engagement, but now she seemed to have gotten used to it.

“Something must have happened with the Marquis, and I’m glad to see that you’ve opened up more.”

After a moment of silence, Lucia smiled.

“Yes, you’re right, it’s a little easier now that we’re being honest with each other.”

Sipping her tea, Lucia looked up at Julian.

“Well, Mother.”

“What is it?”

“I wanted to ask you something, Mother. You and Father had an arranged marriage, didn’t you?”

“Right?”

“How did you stay married when you didn’t love each other at first?”

“Well… love…….”

Julian reminisced for a moment, then looked at Lucia and gave her a small smile.

“Come to think of it, I never told you and Lucas about our first meeting.”

Come to think of it, she doesn’t think they’ve ever heard from their parents.

“Well, he and I were arranged by our families, too. Lucia, you know what, he had someone he loved at the time.”

“What?!”

She had never heard this before. A father who was only weak to her mother, who only loved her… he had someone else he loved?

“His unrequited love, to be exact. I won’t tell you who it was.”

Lucia was very curious to know who her father’s unrequited love was, but Julian held back out of respect for him.

“I remember what he said to me when we first met.”

‘I’m sorry, but it’s not likely that I’ll ever be in love with you. I have my heart set on someone else.’

The younger John bowed his head and said to Julian, who had come to see him.

“I can’t believe my father would say such a thing…….”

“Ahahaha, isn’t that funny now that you think about it?”

Despite the potentially hurtful comment, Julian somehow found herself laughing.

“All I wanted to do was stand up to my parents, and then all of a sudden, the other person said love. I was confused at first, but then I realized how ridiculous it was.”

‘Do as you please. I didn’t come here hoping for your love.’

There was no embellishment for a conversation that took place less than five minutes after seeing each other.

“Then, the look on your father’s face. I don’t think he ever thought I’d say those words. I didn’t care who he loved or didn’t love.”

“……Really?”

She asked, incredulous at Julian’s nonchalance.

“Well, yes, of course. My parents will decide on the marriage anyway, so I don’t need my will. I can just get married and live like everyone else.”

“But right now, my father can’t live without my mother.”

Julian smiled, pleased by Lucia’s words.

“We are now, but we weren’t perfect to begin with, just like everyone else.”

They’d been going through the motions of dating, just going through the motions and talking about things that weren’t meant to be.

But John was more comfortable with that and slowly began to open up to Julian.

“The day we got engaged, the girl he had a crush on showed up.”

‘One minute you say you like me, the next you’re engaged to someone else.’

‘That’s….…’

‘Have you forgotten all about me? You said you’d stay by my side forever…….’

John suddenly disappeared, and when Julian went to look for him, she overheard the conversation between him and the woman he loved.

“How ridiculous it was. I don’t have any feelings for him, but I guess he didn’t want to get out of his hands. He said all sorts of things and made all sorts of tricks.”

“And what happened?”

“Well, I made a mess of it.”

John was visibly shaken, and Julian appeared in front of them.

‘I don’t know what you’re doing to someone else’s fiancé.’

‘It’s ……not your place to interfere.’

‘Stop being so high and mighty, aren’t you already engaged? I’m sure your husband would be thrilled to find out right now.’

“Wait, wait! Is she already married?”

Lucia interrupted Julian, startled.

“Yes. She’s been married for some time, and from what he’s told me before, she’s married to the love of his life.”

“But why did she do that to father…….”

“Why, I don’t want to keep it, it’s a waste to give it to someone else, and from what I’ve heard, she’d never accepted his love.”

She doesn’t know if she was empathizing with Julian or with John, but Lucia was getting angry.

Lucia clamped her mouth shut and concentrated, and Julian finished.

Eventually, the woman left the room, overcome by Julian’s anger, leaving Julian and John alone.

‘Well, Julian….…’

Pak-!

Before John could finish his sentence, Julian slapped him across the cheek.

‘You do realize that your behavior is extremely rude, don’t you?’

‘……….’

‘I don’t care if you love her or anyone else, but you promised me before that you would behave well as a spouse, even if you couldn’t give me your heart. Then behave yourself. I can’t forgive you for cheating on me, no matter how much you’re in love.’

‘……I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again.’

She thought John would be furious with her, with all the slapping and shouting. But when he bent down and walked in, Julian was quite surprised.

“To tell you the truth, I thought he was going to break up with me that way, but somehow he changed his mind, and he wasn’t swayed by her anymore, and he was nice to me.”

“I see…….”

“Well, he was nice to me, so I warmed up to him a little bit, and then I had you and Lucas.”

She never thought her parents would have such a tumultuous history.

It felt similar to her current situation, albeit in a different way.