Drinks and Balls

Carter and I didn't talk for the next few weeks, maybe because of the fight we had or more importantly because he was suspended for a week. Apparently the guy he was beating suffered noticeable injuries. If Carter gets into any more trouble, he might have to change his school. I wanted to forgive him and ask him how he is doing but the way he spoke to me refrained me from doing so. I know whatever he said, he didn't mean them but that doesn't mean I can just erase it. I don't know what he was going through but that's not a free pass for him to go around treating people like shit.

He didn't apologize to me nor did I. Whatever I said might not have been entirely true but he crossed the line when he bought my dad into the fight and he knows that. When he came back to school after his suspension, he didn't get into any more fights or hooked up with any other girl. Atleast from school. We had many many many awkward encounters in the hallway but we never talked once. We didn't even glance at each other.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. It's not like we are close friends or anything but whenever he used to come by at any random time, I liked it. I missed his smile and his carefree laugh. It was enough to lighten up my mood. His goofy nature and stupid flirts found their way to my heart and it pained me to see him so far away. I still stare at him when he laughing about something a random girl said and even though I hated the fact that I was not the one making him laugh, his lit up face was enough to shrug the feeling away.

When I came back home after the fight that day, I went straight up to my room and slammed the door. My mom knew something was wrong but I didn't want to talk about it. For few days after the incident, my mom was curious about happened that got me into such a foul mood but when she realized I was nowhere close to opening up, she let it go. She knows I will tell her when the time is right. I didn't tell her because every time I tried, Carter's voice echoed in my head. Maybe I was the reason my dad is not here with me anymore but that wasn't a bad thing. My dad was an asshole and I wanted him to leave. But I didn't know what my mom thought. After the incident, mom and I never talked about dad. I didn't know how she feels about it and it always bugged me. I wanted to know her thoughts but she never told me and I never asked her about it. Even if she doesn't miss dad, she did like my sister. She is the older one and we were always together. She taught me many things and always cared for me. When she left, I cried for days. It wasn't like we didn't meet at all. We did, we talked all the time but it just wasn't enough. The mirage of family that we have been keeping up for so long shattered in a few seconds. I know she missed me too but our conditions aren't feasible for us to meet. She made her choices and I made mine.

My fight with Carter remained talk of week for many weeks. People kept talking about us, spreading rumors, I am guessing. Some came up to congratulate me for standing up to him and I politely smiled at them. Others hated me for the same reason and I rolled my eyes at them. I spent most of my time either working on my project in library or my room or I went to the football stadium after school to meet Mark. Since the football game is in a month, they have been practicing their ass off this season. Although we did beat the wolves before, we have heard that have been improving at en exponential rate. They won many championships last summer and their new captain, Ethan, is pretty good. I hardly watch football but I go there anyway for Emma. She loves football and recently, she had been giving attention to the captain of our team. Emma and Mark have gotten closer in the last few weeks and they are almost always together. They look really cute and I am very happy for them. Though it meant that my time in the bakery felt rather alone. I missed Mark but I can't be selfish with him or Emma. Ashley and Noah are 'banging' as she told me last week and we all cringed. She wanted to tell us more details but we all zoned her out. Good to know that our friend us happy but details would be rather unpleasant. Mia remained a mystery to all of us. We poked her millions of times to ask her if she liked any of the guys or if she talked to anyone of them. We could never figure her out. Sofia spent most of her time in the library and cheerleading practice. Sofia was pretty good in her team and since the football match is so close, they have been putting extra effort and time into it.

It was Friday and I was desperately waiting for the bell to ring. As soon as it did, I was the first one to pack everything and rush out of the room. I practically ran towards my bike and took off. When I reached home, I went upstairs, put on my favourite songs and went to take a shower. I decided to take the day off from bakery. It felt lonely anyway. I have been working there for last two weeks without any holiday and so I deserved this break. Plus I had many pending assignments that I needed to finish.

I kept working on my assignments and my playlist kept coming up with my favourite songs. Just as I was done, my mom called me for dinner. We ate while asking each other about the day. Mom's date went pretty good from what I heard. He was in the same college as that of my mom but they never met. They went to shopping, fairs, cinemas, restaurants, bowling alleys. They were having a blast and I was very happy for her. She deserves this. She deserves happiness. Mom said she will arrange for me to meet him and I was very excited. After we were done, I went back to my room and jumped on the bed with my laptop. I am on a writing spree since the incident and I wrote like 30 pages of my novel. I re-read the last chapter and smiled at the screen. It was good.

"You look beautiful when you smile." I heard a muffled voice and I turned up to look at the owner of the voice. Carter was pressing his face on my window glass and it was pretty evident that he put a lot of effort to climb up my window. I put my laptop done and hurried to the window and pushed up the glass. I helped him get in my room but he fell on the floor on his back and groaned.

"Did you just fall?"

"No I attacked the floor."

"Backwards?"

"I am freaking awesom!" He said and pumped his fist in the air. He looked like a small baby and I chuckled at him. It was obvious he was drunk.

"Let me help you get up." I said and tried to bring him to bed but he just pulled me down and I fell beside him.

"Yay we are up!" He said and laughed like a baby.

"No Carter we are not." I said and used all my force to put him to bed. I sat him down and went to find a glass of water. When I turned around, he was already lying on my bed but he wasn't asleep.

"Carter, how much did you drink?"

"Just..." He started pinching his forefinger and thumb together.

"A lot." He finished and I laughed at him. He looked at me and smiled.

"I made you laugh. Yay. I have been wanting to see that laugh for so long. The one that's not fake. The one that reaches your eyes." I stared at him and blushed but it was too dark for him to see.

"I am an asshole Claire. I get jealous every time I see you with Mark. I got jealous when I saw you kissing Nathan. Fuck, I even get jealous when I see you with your friends. I want you with me all the time. Whatever I said that day, I didn't mean any of it. I shouldn't have brought up your father. That was wrong and I hate myself for it. If anything, I truly believe that letting you and your mom go was the biggest mistake of his life. Nothing I said that day was true. Not even in the slightest. I have been burying my jealousy for so long, it all erupted as anger towards you. I like you Claire but I am afraid of getting hurt. You were right. I am afraid of getting hurt and when you said, it all felt too real for me to accept. I drank every day after getting suspended and my parents were furious with it. They were trying to make things better between them and I think I fucked that up. I was mad that they never gave me attention and we had a huge fight. But I think I made some progress with them today. I tried making lasagna for them this afternoon and although it was horrible they appreciated my efforts. Which reminds me, you have to teach me how to cook. Food might be the key to make my parents happy and prove that I am not a bad person. Tonight, you were in my head all the time so I decided to hit the bar and drink till I forget about you. I was kissing a random girl in the bar but when I pulled away, I saw your face. I pushed her away and she slapped me. Why did she slap me Olivia? I pulled away. I didn't use her. I am a nice guy. Look there are five finger prints on my left cheek. I was so embarrassed. I wanted to talk to you. You are nice. These past weeks have been hell Olivia. Don't leave me Claire. I don't like myself when I am away from you. I fight with people and I am grumpy like an old man all the time. Noah was done with my whining and told me to grow some balls and tell you how I fell. I couldn't. I only have two. How do you grow balls? Never mind. The point is, I like you. I don't like sharing you with others. You are not my property but I hate to see you happy with someone else. I am sorry Claire. Don't leave me please." He rambled and whispered the last part. He couldn't even form sentence after that. I smiled at him and he slept immediately. I put a blanket over him.

"Good night Gray." I said and kissed his forehead. I wanted to let my mom know we have an uninvited guest but she had a big meeting tomorrow morning so I thought I would let her sleep. I couldn't go downstairs because if mom saw me sleeping there she would ask me all these questions I was in no mood to answer. I looked around but I didn't have any sofa. I couldn't leave my house either because I have to take care of Carter in the morning and make sure he didn't clash with my mom. That would be awkward. I sighed and decided to go on with the only option I had. I put all the cushions I could arrange and made a wall between me and Carter. As soon I went in, he turned around in his sleep and put his arms on my waise and snuggled in my neck. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his breath on my skin. Maybe I wasn't thinking straight but I couldn't resist his hold. While I was thinking of the ways by which I can push him away without waking him up, I felt my eyelids getting heavy and before I knew it, sleep engulfed me.

............

Carter was drunk and he apologized. He is so cute!!!!