Chapter 14

Tess

~Leave your mark, scar my skin, I will bow down to you, my king.~

~“Well, I hope you’re happy. You’re probably not going to die,”~ my mother whispered in my ear.

I ceased to know what the hell was happening. I lived in constant pain from my finger and the chilly ache in my lungs. I didn’t know where I was anymore, or if I’d dreamt Angel Q or not.

~“Don’t listen to her, Tessie. I’m so glad they found you in time.”~ Brax glared at my mother. He never liked her. I didn’t blame him. She wasn’t very likeable.

Time spaced out again and broken images came in little puzzle pieces.

Warm arms—1920s man carrying me.

Men—hordes of them. All sitting in some fancy place with their hands bloodied in their laps.

Engines and loss of gravity as a jet carried me far, far away from nightmares.

“Stay with me, ~esclave~. We’re almost home.” Q stood before me, his black shirt glistening with red dampness. His hands were stained and sprays of crimson camouflaged his face.

He looked like a monster. A man who killed for me.

My heart raced with fear. Would he kill me, too? After everything I did, I deserved the same fate.

“You did it?” ~Did what…what am I asking?~

Q held up something demonic. Something riddled with fat and sinew, dripping horribly in his palm. “I took his heart.

“I took everything from him, Tess.” He bowed at my feet, placing the grisly muscle on the floor. “For you. May it give you the strength to come back to me.”

Whirs of helicopter blades shattered my little daydream and for the first time in ages, I thought of sex. I thought about Q spanking and fucking me in the helicopter.

I thought about the way he captured my wrists and made me so vulnerable.

No slow, sensual burn started in my belly. No need to have Q’s touch rendered me lust-filled. I only felt empty.

Time merged into one big jumbled hallucination where helicopter blades tore me to shreds and plane engines gobbled me up to spit me out, burned to a char and on fire.

A jolt woke me and I moaned with the terrible pain in my hand. ~Someone, please cut it off~. I couldn’t stand the excruciation anymore.

“Get her inside,” someone said. “I’ve already called the doctor.”

I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t escape the prison my brain had become.

~“Learn, girl. Retaliation equals pain. Next time, I won’t be so kind.”~ White Man roared inside my mind.

The memory of being hurt took center place in my stupor, replaying, hitting me around the head with the hard-learned lessons over and over until I became afraid of my inner thoughts. I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t even think. What if I spoke out of turn? The poor blonde would be killed and I’d be hurt.

Slowly, the fog turned into tremors and pinpricks of agony. The itch from before crept back under my skin, and I moaned. I couldn’t go through withdrawal. It would be used against me.

They’d withhold the drug until I did whatever they wanted. And I would do whatever they wanted, as I was weak. So fucking weak.

“She’s convulsing. Hurry!”

I bounced and jiggled in some weird sort of transport. The bruises screamed, and my lungs sloshed with liquid. I coughed hard, tearing my throat up with phlegm.

I didn’t know what was happening, but my body didn’t like it.

My skin temperature developed schizophrenia. One second chilling me to deep Antarctica, the next turning me into a bubbling volcano.

The bugs were back; their little feelers and legs tickling my insides, making me wish I could scratch my brain out.

“No!” I thrashed, and someone slammed to a halt, tightening their grip on me.

“Tess. Stay with me. Please. Help is here. You’ll be fine soon.” Q’s voice cut through the beetle-laden fog, and I latched on to it.

“Put her down. I can’t work if she’s in your arms.”

I felt sick and nauseous one second, then ravenous and ready to fight the next. The drugs faded, leaving me in turmoil. My system couldn’t find an equilibrium no matter how hard it tried.

“Hold her down. She’s doing more damage by moving.”

Something pinned my shoulders, and I lashed out. “Don’t touch me. Not again.

“Please not again.” Tears erupted from my eyes, and I sobbed, remembering the snaps of broken bones and blood of other girls beneath my nails. “No! Please. I won’t do it anymore.

“I won’t hurt any more hummingbirds. I won’t. Kill me. I want to die.” I coughed and coughed and coughed, unable to breathe past the thick liquid in my lungs.

My fingers bent, and I scratched my face, trying to peel the skin back to get at the gnawing bugs in my brain.

A band of pressure landed on my chest as someone pressed me onto something soft. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Tess.

“Forgive me.” Q’s tortured voice murmured in my ear as he caught my hand, and I felt a needle puncture my skin.

Him.

He was just the same as them. Keeping me drugged. Keeping me dependent.

I drifted into dreamland cursing him to the depths of hell.