Chapter Eight

After Ares dropped me off, I think of him constantly. The different side I saw of him during the wedding, the lilies he sent to my work, the way his hands roamed my body at his apartment. My thoughts are consumed by this man who has always been in my periphery and I never spared a second thought, then, my nosy, meaningful friend tricked us, putting him into my path and despite everything I keep seeing him.

Fucking Styx. How could I have let this happen? How could I be so stupid to let him get this close to me?

By Monday, I still haven't heard a word from him, but single lilies have been left for me at my door, everyday after my run. Once there was even a small gift for Max. Anxiety crawls through me, turning my stomach again and again. Why hasn't he called me? After our date I gave him my number and stood in front of my door, wishing he would just kiss me. He is dead set on making me fall for him, so why isn't he here?

This is foolish.

I am not some young girl waiting for her first boyfriend to call her. I am the goddess of love and sexual desire and no man, especially Ares, can control my life or my thoughts.

I fire off a text to Persephone asking her to go out to eat with me and she immediately texts me back with fifteen smiley faces and the name of a new Italian restaurant. I snap Max's leash into place and walk downtown, enjoying the sun on my face and the humidity on my skin. In a few weeks fall will come and there will be no more of these warm days. My shorts hug my thighs and my sandals clap against the pavement, my little buddy's claws clipping excitedly down the sidewalk, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, tail wagging behind him. The small bow Ares sent fits cutely against his white chest and he looks so adorable, causing many passersby to stop and pet him, gushing about how cute he is in his bow-tie.

The restaurant is luckily pet friendly and Persephone sits at an outdoor table, sitting under an umbrella, a small dog bed with a bowl of food and water beside the table. I make my way to her, embracing her and we both take a seat and I attach Max's leash to the chair and lean my head against the soft cushions.

"How are you?" She asks, giddily. Persephone rests her chin in her palm, leaning against the table.

I shrug. "Fine, work is slow, the same as usual. Reading is a dying art, you know?"

She nods, looking through the menu. "I agree." She nervously peers at me above her menu, worrying her lower lip with her teeth.

"Come now, Persephone, what is it?" I ask.

"The meeting with the Gods is in twelve weeks." She pauses, shifting in her seat. "Are you going?"

I roll my eyes. "Of course, Perse. I have to go. Why wouldn't I be?"

She sighs, knowing that I deflect from her questions easily. "You know why, and I am not going and Hades won't go in solidarity if it would make you feel better."

"You aren't going because your mother bars you from attending and with good reason, trust me you aren't missing anything interesting. As for why I am going, I have to be there. I am not an unnameable immortal who's presence won't be noticed. If I don't go there will be questions and prying and someone will come here and ruin every bit of serenity I have built for myself."

She watches me for the longest time, and I try to offer her a reassuring smile. She accepts this and when the waitress comes we place our orders and sit in silence. "I am worried about you," she whispers.

My eyes snap to hers and I hold her gaze. "There's no need to be." My voice is stiff and almost robotic.

"That's easy for you to say," she murmurs.

Irritation rears an ugly head and I tilt my head to the side. "Oh yeah, what is that supposed to mean?"

Anger sparks in her dark eyes, usually calm and carefree and now enraged and.. scared. "It's easy for you to say, Aphrodite. You weren't the one there picking up the pieces, helping you through those horrifying nightmares that would wake up, screaming. You didn't have to look at your haunted fucking eyes." Tears well in her own eyes and I can feel mine doing the same at the memory.

"I was living it, Persephone. Again and again and again. Every sickening detail on replay in my mind. Those dreams were so damn real I felt like I was there all over again, unsure of how to move forward. Every morning it was like starting all over again."

"I was there!" She exclaims, balling her hands into fists. "You don't know what it was like to have you leave and me not see you for seven months and when you come back you're a damn ghost. A shell of yourself. Your eyes, Aphrodite, I will never forget it. It was like a piece of your soul was just... gone. I am terrified every time you leave for Olympus. I can't help you, I am not there to protect you." Her voice breaks and I turn away from her.

Max curls around my feet and I swipe at the tears on my cheeks, bile rising in my throat. "It's not your job to take care of me."

Her demeanor softens and she reaches across the table to take my hand. "I am your friend. Of course it's my job to take care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Yes, you can, but there is no shame with needing help."

But isn't there? Admitting you're not as good as you say? Asking for help? They're signs of weakness and in the realm of Gods there is no room for weakness. Weakness is preyed upon as soon as it's shown and you can't let your guard down for anyone.

For fucks sake, I let my guard with Ares and he fucking ditched me. My temples pound and we eat in awkward silence. I apologize for snapping and I leave early, desperate to get away from her pitying gaze. I don't need pity. I am a strong woman and I can take care of myself.

The sky is a beautiful pink-purple color and I take my time on the way home, Max trotting lazily behind me, his gaze drifting towards Ares side of town.

"I know... I miss him too buddy," I whisper to him, so only he can hear me. Styx forbid Ares find me and come at the moment I admit I miss his stupid fucking face.

The clouds twirl and dance within each other creating something wholly new and unique, the effect looking a bit like cotton candy. The fight with Persephone weighs heavy on my mind. I know she is right and she has good reason to be worried, but I just can't with her worries right now, not so close to the meeting. Not when I have to face the people whose faces haunt my nightmares, driving me from sleep time and time again.

At my apartment I lay in bed, curled around my small dog and let silence wrap me in it's cold embrace.