Chapter 47: Je Suis Desole

UNKNOWN

One beat.

Two beats.

Three beats.

I shut my eyes tight, my fingers tangled in my hair.

One beat.

Two beats.

I feel like I’m being ripped apart.

One beat.

Then, silence fills the void.

Three more thumps and my lungs fill with air.

I’m alive, I can tell. The pounding in my chest grows louder, but I can’t see. And I don’t know why.

Fear is scratching at my door, whispering, tempting me to give in, to let it break me, but I won’t.

There has to be a reason. There’s always a reason. I just need to figure out what happened. Why is this happening?

The pounding continues, and I let my body unwind. Let it rest, and when the time is right, maybe, just maybe, I’ll open my eyes.

Even though I know there’s something significant waiting, I can’t figure out what it is right now.

***

JYN

The morning cheers of the warriors should have filled me with pride and joy for my pack. But lately, it’s done nothing, and I despise it, even now that I’ve found my mate.

Gazing down at the lines of alphas, I ponder what would happen if I didn’t exist, if none of us were here under the first rays of the sun.

Would there still be packs of wolves, of alphas, of betas, of families? Would there be peace?

A forced smile tugs at my lips as my people salute me. Slowly, I nod at them and pivot on my heels.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel…

***

UNKNOWN

Blood stains the sheets, and I’m helpless. I watch, fascinated, as more blood mars the pure white silk.

It reminds me of someone, but I can’t recall who. Is it a girl or a boy? Someone close?

A hazy memory flits across my mind. Odd, I can’t make out the blurred face.

It makes me feel happy. Yes, happy to an extent. But I also feel regret. All these emotions unsettle me, make me feel uneasy. Yet here I am, staring at my blood smeared hand.

I clench my hand into a fist and let the blood flow.

Odd, there’s no pain. I feel nothing. It’s gone.

***

JYN

“Should we check on it?” Arye asked, pulling my attention from my stack of papers to my brother.

His brown hair was a wild mess from the wind that swept through the open windows.

“You should trim that hair,” I suggested, and returned my gaze to my work.

“Ladies love it!” Arye grinned.

“There are no ladies here. So cut it and do as I say,” I grumbled.

Arye mumbled something I didn’t catch. Refocusing on my papers, I signed them and picked up a stack of letters. There was an email too.

Sighing wearily, I rubbed my face.

“You haven’t eaten all day, Jyn. Stop working and take a break,” Victoria advised as she walked in with her assistant.

I smiled and put my pen down. Her hair had grown out, and her style had changed.

Living in the mountains and in a pack didn’t seem to have done much for her fashion sense, where only wolves would see her, ~if~ I allowed it.

“And what about you?” I asked, earning a glare from her.

“I have important things to do,” she retorted. “And I eat on time.”

“So do I,” I said. “The pack is my priority, ~my queen~.”

She shook her head and sat on my lap. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she rested her head against mine.

I took a deep sniff of her scent and smiled.

“How are things?” She asked the question I didn’t want to hear.

Noticing my silence, she sighed and pulled back to look at me properly.

“Things have changed, Jyn. It’s your job to keep things in order, and I’m here to balance you. Remember, you’re not the only one worried here.”

I managed a weak smile at that. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to respond.

With another sigh, she stood up and pushed some papers in front of me that her assistant handed her.

“Read that last report. It will interest you a lot,” Victoria said, turning away.

My eyes darted to the red folder labeled ~confidential~ in bold letters.

I hesitated for a moment, but opened it and read what it said.

It took me a while to fully grasp the contents. What they had reported was crucial.

Victoria’s last words echoed in my mind: ~How are things?~

I wasn’t sure if I was being honest. All the chaos, everything that happened in the last eight months had taken a toll on me.

Now, with this new information, things had changed. The problem was, I had to tell him. But I didn’t know how to.

***

Dressed in my gear, I waved at Arye and Regulus, who waved back along with the rest of the group.

“About time,” Regulus remarked, as I forced a smile.

“Where’s Yuki?” I asked, scanning the group. “He’s supposed to be here.”

“And here I am,” a voice replied. “Can’t a man grab a bite to eat?”

I rolled my eyes and gathered everyone. With swift precision, I gave out my orders, which were met with utter surprise.

I know everyone was taken aback, but that was our plan.

“You sure about this?” Arye asked as he eyed everyone slowly. “It should be only you.”

I shook my head.

“The only way it can work is if we all go together as a family,” I responded.

Yuki let out a sigh next to me.

“Jyn, we might be pushing our luck with them. Don’t get me wrong, but they’ve been shutting us out for the past eight months. Why would things change now?” Yuki questioned.

In response, I just smiled and pulled out the report Victoria had given me that morning.

As they read the letter, gasps and smiles spread across our small group.

“Are you sure about this?” Blaze asked, his brow furrowed. “It’s a gamble.”

“I say we roll the dice,” I shrugged. “We won’t know how they’ll react until we try. Like Blaze said, it’s all about taking risks.”

The group nodded in agreement, which made me feel good. Once we were all set, we headed out.

***

“Hell no! How much further do we have to hike?” Yuki grumbled, clearly irritated. “I’m fucking tired and hungry!”

“You’re always hungry,” Regulus pointed out, earning a growl from Yuki.

“Easy, guys. We don’t want to mess this up,” I said, continuing to climb the steep stairs.

“Seriously, this better be worth it, or there’s going to be hell to pay,” Yuki muttered under his breath.

I shot him a glare over my shoulder. Shaking my head in disappointment, I turned my attention back to the stairs. But a loud howl made us all stop.

Another howl answered, and we were all on high alert.

“Hell no. This is a bad idea!” Arye said, tugging on my clothes.

“Knock it off!” I commanded, but Regulus shook his head.

“This isn’t smart, Jyn. You should have come alone.”

“And get thrown out again?” I shot back. “Is that what you want?”

“That’s your problem,” he snapped.

I glared at him, but before I could say anything, something yanked me to the side, causing me to let out a scream.

With a loud thud, I landed on a rocky surface, and a growl echoed behind me.

I cursed under my breath before lifting my head to see what was in front of me.

The rest of the group appeared next to me in the same manner, all of them injured and swearing.

“Damn you!” Yuki hissed, but I raised my hand to stop him. He tensed when he saw what was surrounding us.

~“Trespassers!”~ a voice snarled through the mind-link. ~“No wolf is welcome here.”~

I raised both hands in surrender.

“We’re here to speak with the king and queen,” I said, which was met with several snarls.

~“You have no right to see them. Leave our lands now or we’ll use your blood to feed the night walkers!”~

“Jyn!” Yuki hissed at me, but I held my ground.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. It had to work.

~“Last warning, alphas! Leave or we’ll rip you apart!”~ it commanded.

“Jyn, let’s just go!” Arye snapped from behind me. “We’ll find another way!”

“There’s only this way,” I said, keeping my eyes on it. “We have what you’re looking for.”

A loud growl echoed through the group.

~“Lies!”~ it accused. ~“Nothing but lies!”~

“No, I have proof,” I insisted, pulling the paper from my pocket.

I unrolled it and held it out. I extended my hand so they could read it.

“We can help you with what you need,” I said.

“Enough,” a female voice said as the crowd parted for her. “You do realize that if you’re lying, your people will pay the price, right?”

I swallowed hard but nodded confidently.

“Follow me,” she said, finally giving us a chance to breathe.

***

We walked in complete silence as night fell. The barren forest felt eerie, except for the small beams of moonlight that illuminated our path.

It led us through the forest, showing us a path we knew all too well. But it wasn’t meant for us. We were different from everyone else in the group.

I looked around us. Eight of them were surrounding us. Their eyes never left us as we walked closely together.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Regulus murmured. A snarl sounded next to us, startling the group.

“Silence,” the woman commanded.

~“Are you sure about this?”~ Regulus mind-linked. ~“What if it doesn’t work? They don’t trust us.”~

~“Then we have no choice. We risk our lives and get out of here,”~ I replied. ~“At least we tried.”~

Yuki’s stomach growled, causing the others to look at him. He apologized sheepishly.

“Stay here,” she ordered before walking away, leaving us standing in front of a massive wall.

The snow had blanketed this side of the mountain. The white sheets gave off an ethereal vibe, enhanced by the auroras dancing in the sky tonight.

Their colors painted the snow in various shades. We all watched in awe.

We occasionally saw sights like this on our side, but since this place was higher, the lights seemed closer.

“Welcome,” another female voice greeted me. We all turned to her. “It’s quite a surprise to see the king of the wolves in our lands.”

“I apologize for coming unannounced, but this matter is of great importance,” I replied, bowing.

“And what might that be?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

I studied her closely. They did look similar.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I pulled out the rolled paper from earlier and handed it to her people. They passed it to her, and she took it with a blank expression.

Silence fell, and the air around us grew heavy. Yuki shifted uncomfortably behind me.

“You expect us to believe this?” she asked. I nodded slowly, watching her reaction.

If she had one, she hid it well.

She sighed loudly and unrolled the paper.

“Then I welcome you to my lands, alphas. My name is Enora, queen of the lycans, and my granddaughter is waiting for you.”

“You mean—” I shot Yuki a glare, silencing him.

Enora frowned.

“Yuki Woods, your mother didn’t do a good job raising you,” she spat out. I stiffened.

“You…”

“Remember, I know your family,” she shot back. Yuki had managed to sour her mood. I muttered a curse under my breath at him.

“Sorry,” I said, my tone clipped. She just scoffed and turned away.

We trailed after her, drawn in by the crowd of lycans that surrounded us.

“Damn it all,” Blaze swore loudly.

“What now?” I asked, irritation creeping into my voice.

“Didn’t you say they were extinct?” Blaze questioned. I raised an eyebrow.

“And your point is?” I played along.

“Well, if they were extinct, like you said, they wouldn’t be this wealthy, right?” Yuki chimed in, gesturing at the buildings around us.

“Good point,” Arye agreed, taking in the surroundings.

I mentally kicked myself for dragging them into this.

I shook my head, looking around. They were right. This place was dripping with wealth.

It was unlike anything our packs had ever seen. But the real question was, how did they amass all this while staying hidden?

“If you want to see him, you’re in luck,” Enora called over her shoulder.

“Luck?” I questioned, frowning.

“Yes, ~king~,” she smirked, then looked away. “Your old king has awakened.”

We all exchanged glances.

“What about her?” I asked, my voice heavy with dread.

A silence fell before she cleared her throat.

“We can discuss that later, ~after~ dinner,” she said, glancing at Yuki, who turned a shade of red.

“Is she doing better?” I asked, concern lacing my words.

Enora stopped in her tracks, then slowly turned around. Her sky-blue eyes scanned each of us before settling on me.

“Tell me, my dear ~grandson~, if he hadn’t done what he did, what do you think would have happened?

“It’s not just a sacrifice, Jyn. It’s more than you think, and the punishment was equal,” she said, turning away. “Now it’s up to her to decide if saving one is worth saving the other.”

I hung my head in regret.

“But if he could do it, then so can she,” she continued, starting to ascend a staircase that led to a building that looked more like a mansion than a castle.

“Even though he was blessed, and is one of us, it doesn’t mean we can save him. After all, they went through all that for nothing.”

“~Nothing~?” Regulus growled, but I raised my arm to stop him.

Enora chuckled.

“Yes, don’t you see? It was a test. It was never real.”

“But the Moon Goddess toyed with them, hurt Elaine!” I shouted.

“And they paid the price, my dear,” she said, her smile tinged with sadness.

“But you helped us that day!” Regulus cried out in desperation. “Will she ever wake up?”

Enora sighed.

“We did what we could, but she was human then,” she said, shaking her head. “Now the real suffering begins.”

“It can’t be,” Arye ground out. “My sister and Connor—”

“Let Sorin escape,” Enora interrupted. Her tone was a clear signal that this conversation was over. “Now hurry before the food gets cold. I hate eating like that.”

We all followed her, but I paused, looking up at the building where a shadow moved behind the windows.

I squinted. Was that red hair?

Hearing Yuki call my name, I tore my gaze away from the windows and followed the others inside.