Chapter 55: Hearts Desires

ELAINE

After Sorin’s unexpected visit last night, Connor hadn’t said a single word to me. His anger was so intense that he left our home in the middle of the night to sleep in the castle, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Sleep eluded me. The words spoken by everyone yesterday kept replaying in my mind. I knew I was reverting to my old self, but it’s hard to break old habits.

What troubled me the most was the common thread in everyone’s words.

First, it was Enora urging me to become queen, then Connor’s mother insisting that I wanted to be queen, which made me ponder over it.

...And then Sorin, appearing out of the blue, telling me to seize the throne for him, a throne ~I yearn for.~

Kicking a few pebbles, I climbed the steep steps leading to the castle entrance.

The guards were stationed along the castle walls as I walked through. They all glanced at me, acknowledging my presence.

A pang in my chest made me look down. I had my hands in my pockets as I jogged up the steps and turned to enter the castle foyer.

“She can’t be here!” a voice echoed down the hallway, drawing the attention of a few passersby. “It’s not that I don’t want her here. It’s... you don’t understand.”

I hid behind a pillar as two figures came into view. It was a woman I had seen before in Jyn’s office, and Regulus.

Narrowing my eyes, I strained my ears to listen.

“Jyn only wants the best for her,” she sighed.

“And what do you know? You’re not a lycan. You’re just ~human~!” Regulus growled, storming out of the hall.

Shaking my head, I stepped out from behind the pillar and leaned against it. The woman stood with her hands on her hips, looking both stressed and worried.

She turned around and, seeing me, stopped in her tracks.

With my arms crossed over my chest, I studied her. The human scent was unmistakable even from a distance.

“You must be Queen Elaine,” she said, squinting her eyes.

I relaxed and walked towards her.

“I stopped being queen a long time ago,” I replied as I walked past her.

She turned around, perhaps surprised that I hadn’t stopped to introduce myself. But I was short on time and needed to focus.

Bounding up the stairs, I found Jyn’s office. Blaze, Connor, and Jyn were sitting across from each other, studying maps of the pack.

“Morning,” Jyn greeted me.

“I need to know where you are keeping Darian.” I ignored his greeting.

Jyn glanced at Connor, who was pointedly ignoring me. His eyes were focused on the maps showing the various packs that belonged to us.

As I turned with a warm mug of coffee in my hand, my eyes landed on a specific piece of land.

“This place,” I murmured, leaning over the table.

“You know it?” Blaze asked, curiosity evident in his voice. I silently stared at it.

“It’s Enora’s pack,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee, then turning away from the group.

“How did you know?” Jyn asked, his voice filled with intrigue.

“I don’t know, maybe because of the location and terrain.” I shrugged.

“Hmm,” Jyn hummed. “Come, I will take you to Darian.”

I nodded at Jyn and followed him out. Connor still hadn’t spoken to me at all, so I decided to ignore him as well.

“Connor told me about last night,” Jyn said as we walked down a hallway leading to the east wing of the castle. “He is furious.”

“I don’t expect less,” I replied. Jyn looked at me.

“~So am I~. Why did you let him go like that?” he asked. “If anyone here would want revenge, it would be you.”

“You are right,” I agreed, keeping my eyes straight ahead. “But everything must be planned. Since he tricked me once, I should do the same until he falls into my trap.”

I could feel Jyn’s gaze lingering on me.

“What about Connor, then?” he asked after a moment. “He is your mate.”

“I know.” I held my tongue.

“Gosh,” Jyn sighed as we stopped where two guards stood. “Connor is your mate, Elaine. You are a team, and as a team, you have to work ~together~ and trust each other.

“It seems like everything he did went unappreciated. The poor man sacrificed a lot for you. At least give him something.”

“And I ~do~ trust him,” I replied, glancing at him. “He is the one who doesn’t trust me.”

With that, I stepped into the room. Light streamed in from the windows, illuminating the room, which lacked any feminine touch.

It was one of the few rooms in the castle that hadn’t been modernized at all. Everyone still owned some old relics like vanity tables, paintings, and even beds.

I looked around, taking in the entire place. I could see a few cobwebs high on the chandelier that hung in the middle of the room. Its crystals sparkled in the sunlight.

“Morning,” a voice came from behind me. I turned to find Darian in wrinkled pants and a t-shirt. His hair was a wet mess of darkness over his forehead.

“Sorry, were you taking a shower?” I asked. He nodded, then offered me a seat.

I watched him. With his raven-black hair, he didn’t look like the other pack members, who mostly had brown and ginger hair.

“How’s your wound?” I asked, taking a seat near him.

“I’ll live,” he smiled awkwardly.

A silence fell between us, until I couldn’t bear it anymore and started asking him my questions.

Darian calmly answered, and each response took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting him to be so open. I thought he would be angry about us taking him away against his will.

“So, what about you?” I asked. “Has Enora been pulling your strings too?”

Up until now, my questions had been about the pack, their territory, their people, and their way of life.

“She’s tried, but maybe she’s losing her touch,” he said with a laugh. “She gets pretty mad when I don’t do what she wants. But I can’t help it. I’m not like her.”

I smiled at that. “Good,” I said. “Now, I want to ask you something else.”

He raised an eyebrow, giving me his full attention.

“Sorin came to see me last night,” I said, sighing and leaning forward. “He wants me by his side, and he wants to be king. He said I have something he wants, but I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“And you think I do?” Darian asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

I rolled my eyes.

“No. What I want to know is, how did Sorin get mixed up with Enora?” I asked, looking him straight in the eye. Darian stared back, as if he was trying to read my thoughts.

“Three years ago, we were out hunting one night and we ran into a group of wolves. Six of them. We could tell right away they weren’t from around here,” Darian said, his voice distant.

“Sorin was with them. He was their leader, scouting the area with his group. He stood out. When we found them, I could tell he wasn’t expecting to run into us that night.

“Hold on,” I said, holding up a hand. “A group of wolves? But we never heard anything about finding another group in the mountains, especially not lycans.”

“Right, but they weren’t your people,” Darian said with a smirk. I blinked, frowning. “Do you get it now?”

“They were rogues, hunters,” I whispered, realizing how long Sorin had been part of that group. “Then what happened?”

“We couldn’t just let them go. We live in isolation, and our existence is a secret. Especially from hunters. If they started talking, it could cause a lot of problems.”

I nodded, understanding.

“So we captured them and brought them back to the pack. Grandma killed the rest of the group, but she spared Sorin.

“Somehow, she knew Sorin wasn’t just a rogue, or a regular wolf, or even an alpha, but he still had the power to cause us trouble. Especially after we found out he was the leader of one of the hunter bases.”

Darian shook his head. “My grandmother asked him which pack he belonged to, and when she heard the name, she started questioning him. Eventually, they came to some sort of agreement.”

“That agreement involved me, didn’t it?” I asked, feeling a knot in my stomach.

“Yes, when Sorin saw grandma, the first thing he did was call out your name. That got her attention, and things started moving from there. She offered him a deal, but Sorin didn’t take it.”

“Because he wanted something else, right?” I said, shaking my head as it all started to make sense. “Sorin told Enora he wanted to be king.”

“Yes, but not just any king,” Darian said, his eyes locked on mine. I frowned. What did he mean, not just any king?

“The only place he can be king is here, in Black Rose, his home,” I said, confused. “There’s no other place.”

“There is,” Darian said, leaning forward. His arms rested on his thighs as he leaned in closer.

I instinctively pulled back.

“You already know the answer,” he whispered, as if sharing a secret.

“I do?” I echoed. Darian nodded and leaned back in his seat.

“You’ve been longing for it since the moment you woke up,” he said, flashing me a dazzling smile.

“Think about it. What place could Sorin want so badly that he also wants you by his side? What could be more powerful than Black Rose, but still different?”

I looked down at the mug in my hands. It was as cold as my heart.

I thought about everything that had happened.

“It’s a place you would never want, but it’s home,” Darian said softly. I frowned.

Then it hit me. I looked up, shocked.

Darian smiled, as if he knew what I was thinking.

“That’s impossible.” I jumped up from my seat. “I could never…”

“But you could. You have the blood. It’s in your veins, and it’s slowly taking over, becoming your addiction, your desire, your longing,” Darian said, taking a sip of his coffee.

I stood there, staring at him. I heard a bird cawing outside and looked up at the window.

The bird perched there reminded me of the owl I had seen back at the pack.

Suddenly, it all made sense. I laughed. Darian looked at me, puzzled. How had I not seen it before?

I shook my head, put my mug down, and walked over to the window. I reached out to the bird, but it flew away, leaving only memories behind.

I could feel Darian watching me.

I looked over my shoulder, trying to see if he was lying. But everything told me he was telling the truth.

I looked back out the window and sighed.

“Enora’s pack,” I said, looking up at the blue sky. “Sorin wants to be king of the lycans.”

“And you are our queen,” Darian said. I turned to glare at him. “This is where you belong, Elaine.

“You are the queen of the lycans, and Black Rose was never meant to be your kingdom. Your place is with ~us~, your people, where your mother grew up and where she always wanted to be.

“That’s where she wanted to be queen, not here.”

***

“Are you going to wait for Connor?” Blaze asked as we hurried up the stairs two at a time. “He seemed pretty mad, you know. And I can’t say I blame him.”

I stopped in my tracks.

We stood atop the hill, overlooking the bustling town with the castle at our backs.

Wolves meandered down the streets, some ducking into cafés, others meeting in the middle, chatting as if life was a dream.

I watched them, a twinge of envy in my heart. Their lives seemed so perfect. They had returned to normalcy, but I hadn’t. I was still wrestling with my past, my love, my family.

I could easily throw in the towel, leave this place and head to the city like Connor’s mom. But even she, who had left years ago, had returned to her old home.

We’re always drawn back to where we belong, and my blood ached for its lands, its people. But would that bring happiness to me? To Connor?

“Elaine!” Blaze’s voice broke through my thoughts. “I’ve been talking to you, and you’re off in your own world.”

“Sorry.” I dropped my gaze and sighed. “I’m just tired of all this, you know.”

I could feel his eyes on me, studying me.

“Why don’t you try talking to Connor?” Blaze suggested, prompting an awkward smile from me. “Or go for a run. It might help clear your head.”

“Can I ask you something?” I shoved my hands into my pockets as a breeze tousled our hair. “Were you there when Connor made the offer to the Moon Goddess?”

“Yes, we all were,” he replied.

“Did the Moon Goddess seem pleased? Especially after Connor bowed to her?”

Blaze nodded in silence.

“We were all against the idea, but it was your life, Elaine. Connor was ready to sacrifice anything for you,” he said, a smile playing on his lips. “He really loves you.”

“And I love him,” I echoed.

“But?”

I sighed, crouching to pick at a stick. A pair of warriors strolled past us, greeting Blaze but ignoring me.

“Everyone hates me,” I muttered.

“No, they don’t.”

I shot him a glare.

“Okay, maybe a little. Look, they don’t hate you. They’re just resentful because they feel like you ruined their lives.”

“But that’s been fixed, hasn’t it?” I retorted, resting my chin on my knees. “I know I haven’t apologized.”

“Then do it,” Blaze said, offering me a brilliant smile and his hand. “Why don’t you apologize to everyone? Maybe that’ll ease the tension between you and everyone who feels like you ruined their lives.”

“Not a bad idea.” I took his hand and stood. “But would they come?”

“Let me talk to Jyn. We might be able to work something out.”

***

I stood in the center of the town park, waiting for Connor to make his fashionably late entrance.

For a moment, a terrible thought crossed my mind. He wouldn’t stand me up, would he?

But as the sun set and time ticked on, my last shred of hope evaporated. He had stood me up, leaving me alone to wonder if he would ever show.

Feeling hurt, I left the park as pack members began to gather for the evening’s food stalls that opened late at night. I watched them with the same envy and jealousy as before.

This wasn’t normal. Since when did I care about things like this?

I had always been someone who didn’t care about the people around me, their opinions, or their concerns.

But after waking from that deep sleep, I was flooded with more emotions than I knew what to do with, as if someone had given me a piece of their soul.

That’s when I thought about Khan’s spirit living inside me, sharing space with Ashina, who also felt different.

I veered off my path and headed towards the cliffs. Or so I thought.

After wandering around and thinking hard about things, I ended up at the place I’d been meaning to revisit, the temple, the place Connor had warned me to stay away from.

I stared at the massive caves. The waterfall was freezing in the winter and would soon blanket our lands.

Pulling my jacket tighter around me, I hopped across the rocks. More than once, I slipped, injuring my ankle or knees. Frustrated with everything, I ended up trudging through the icy water.

This wasn’t what I had in mind, but here I was, navigating the place where my mother had cursed me, blamed me, and punished me.

Cursing under my breath, I bent down to wring some of the water out of my pants. The weight and chill of the water reminded me that I was soaked and at risk of catching a cold, something I hadn’t had since I was ten.

Once I felt a bit drier, I looked up. The temple was unchanged. Torches lit the rocky surface, casting an eerie glow over the place.

The stairs were slick with humidity. A few boulders that hadn’t been there before were now positioned on different sides, as if holding something in place.

And the same statue of the Goddess towered at the top of the stairs.

I should have been scared, worried, but I wasn’t. I felt adrenaline coursing through my veins, as if preparing for a fight.

Taking the last step, I heard a whooshing sound and jumped to the side just as an ax landed where I had been standing.

The old weapon quivered as it struck the ground.

Looking up, I saw a figure standing calmly as if what she had done was nothing.

“How dare you come back to this place?” she hissed. Her face twisted with anger.

“Nice to see you too.” I smirked, making her bare her teeth.

“You have no business here. Now leave, before I decide to change my mind and kill you here on the spot,” she commanded.

“Would you dare?” I challenged, making her eye twitch. “I mean, my dear ~grandmother~ wouldn’t be pleased, would she? You two seemed like old friends to me.”

At that, she snarled and lunged at me. I sprinted to the ax and yanked it free, using it to defend myself from her attack.

As a Goddess, she could shift into anything she desired, which meant her nails and canines could grow longer.

Feeling her nails dig into my ribs, I cursed and kicked her in the face. She stumbled to the side but quickly lunged again.

I swung the ax I was holding, slicing it through the air and into her chest. A long gash opened up, shredding her immaculate white dress.

She snarled, glaring at her now ruined dress.

“Can we talk this out?” I suggested. “I didn’t come here to fight.”

“But you are!” she retorted, reaching for my arm. I yanked it back just in time, feeling her nails skim my skin.

“Was it too much to bring up grandma’s name?”

“Enora means nothing to me!” she snarled. “And I suggest you leave this place, or I won’t show you any mercy!”

I lowered my ax, squinting at her with curiosity.

“You hate me because I’m a lycan, right? You think my presence is a curse.”

“If you know that, then leave this pack,” she spat, her face returning to its normal state. “You should never have been born here. You have your own land.”

“That’s why you hated the idea of me becoming queen, isn’t it?” I said, scoffing. “You punished me not because I defied you, but because I wasn’t supposed to be the queen of this pack.”

“And not of any other packs,” she growled. “You’ve grown up with a different understanding, Elaine, not as you should have,” she smirked.

“Saving your worthless life was a small favor I did for Enora. I owed her a debt, and well, your dear mate offering himself as a sacrifice pleased me.”

I clenched my fists, letting Ashina come forward.

She stared at me, her eyes glowing.

“Connor didn’t need to bow to you,” I growled. “He shouldn’t have let you see him like that!”

“Like what?” she smiled. “Like a humble wolf, desperate to save his mate, who doesn’t deserve it?”

I gripped the ax tighter. The urge to slit her throat was so strong that my vision blurred for a moment, just like it had when I woke up in Enora’s pack.

The thirst for blood was blinding me.

“What Connor did was out of love. He loves you so much that he can’t see that you’re just the same. Human or not, you haven’t changed.”

“You know nothing!” I snapped. She chuckled.

“I do. Even though we’re not mother and daughter anymore, I can still see your selfish and egotistical side just by the way you’re looking at me.

“You feel no shame, no remorse or guilt for everything you’ve done. Not even a hint of regret—”

“SHUT UP,” I warned. My face morphed into my lycan form. “You don’t know how I feel.”

The air around us felt thick and suffocating. Her power and authority as the Goddess were trying to overwhelm me, but I tried to ignore it, like it didn’t affect me.

“Since I became human, I’ve felt guilt, sadness, and regret!” I hissed.

“I regret everything I did, and I wish—I just wish—I could undo it all, but I can’t, and now I have to suffer the consequences.

“And here you are, telling me like I don’t know anything, but I do, and I feel it every second of my waking life, from how everyone looks at me, to Connor feeling like I’ve crushed him, to my brothers thinking I haven’t changed.

“But I’m trying!”

Tears started streaming down my face as Ashina slowly retreated.

“I hate who I’ve become. I wish I could change it, but I can’t change who I am. That’s the truth. Without feeling regret and pain, I can’t become someone different.

“Not without feeling how much I’ve hurt those who have shown me love, the same people who tried their best to save me, to bring me back to a life I no longer wanted!”

By the end, I was panting. My face was a mess from all the tears I’d shed.

It was like a band-aid had been ripped off and everything inside was pouring out nonstop.

“I didn’t want to live,” I choked out. “All I wanted was to die. There, you got it. That’s what you wanted to hear, right?”

She didn’t say a word.

“I don’t want to be in a place where all I do is hurt those who I should love, those who I should beg for forgiveness from.

“Yet I find myself trapped between two walls that suffocate me to the point of insanity. All my life, I believed what my mother wrote.

“I wrongly judged those who lived around me, and I blindly punished the only one who truly loved me.

“I’m not perfect, Moon Goddess. I’m not like ~you.~ And I know it very well.

“Now all I want is to disappear, kill Sorin, and vanish from this place where no one would ever find me, where I could start over and not hurt those I love.”

“But I can’t, I can’t because those whom I keep pushing away keep reminding me they love me the most, and I shouldn’t abandon them to suffer, because all this mess is my fault.”

“I am the one who created all this, and I will end it, even if it means I will choose hate over love. I will push them away, even if it means they will never speak to me again.

“Do you understand now? I will be selfish over and over until I resolve this and no one else gets hurt.”

“What about you, then?” the Moon Goddess asked.

“What about me?” I hissed.

She didn’t say anything else.

I scowled, annoyed.

“I don’t care what happens to me…,” I whispered. “I have nothing left. I’m a disgrace, the pack’s shame, and I don’t even know where I belong anymore.”

There was silence. I expected her to say something cruel, to laugh in my face, but she slowly nodded, then turned away.

Her back was to me as she looked up at her statue.

“You belong somewhere,” she murmured, her voice bouncing off the walls. “You’ve always ignored that little voice in your head. But now you’re listening. You know that, right?”

I turned my gaze away, my hands balling into fists at my sides.

“Your home is waiting for you, along with your mate and brothers,” she said, turning to face me.

“I feel for you. For the life you’ve led, which is your mother’s doing, even if you can’t admit it.”

“She…,” I began, my voice choked with anger.

“~She’s the one to blame~. What you grew up believing shaped you into who you are.

“It’s not your fault you accepted it as your destiny, forcing things on others without understanding the consequences. You grew up without your mother’s love.

“So yes, I do feel sorry for you. But Elaine, don’t give up. Don’t throw away what you have now, because it’s your second chance.”

I hunched my shoulders.

“You don’t understand…,” I whispered. “Things won’t be normal with me around. No one will be happy if I stay here. It’s best if I just end this, if I just disappear.”

“Would that make you happy?” she asked.

I flinched at her words.

“Would your mate be happy? He’s sacrificed a lot for you, and you don’t deserve it, but maybe he saw something in you that I can’t see. After all, I’m the one who creates those bonds.”

She pointed at the bracelet around my wrist, then gave me a smile.

“But my mother—”

“She blessed Connor. Yes, she did. But it was just a blessing that tied a loved one to someone she saw you were destined to be with. Did you know your mother had the sight?” she asked.

“The sight?” I frowned, confused.

“Yes, she could see fates tied. It’s a lycan thing.” The Goddess shrugged. “I don’t interfere in their world, but my own children… lycans are different.

“They’re stronger. You’re stronger, and your mother saw who your mate was, so what she did was just bless your union.”

“But Connor’s a lycan… He has a lycan, and none of his family has one,” I argued. She chuckled, a light chuckle that echoed faintly around us.

“Yes, I did that,” she responded. I watched her, stunned by this new revelation.

“You did what?” a voice said, making me turn around in surprise.

The Goddess gave Connor a wide smile, which he didn’t return.

“Elaine, what is she talking about?” Connor asked, his eyes moving between the two of us. I turned to find the Goddess looking at me with curiosity.

There was a small excitement glittering in her eyes, as if it delighted her to hear Connor.

I turned back to Connor, who seemed pale under the torch’s light.

“I…” I had no words. I didn’t know what to tell him, not without revealing more than necessary.

“It means exactly what I said. I knew both of your destinies, and Elaine’s mother’s, who actually wanted to be a queen. But her mistake was to leave her lands.”

I turned, frowning.

“You know about that?” I asked, offended. “Why haven’t you told me about it?”

“Because, child, you never asked the right questions.” She grinned.

I watched her with disdain. How could she think I didn’t want to know?

All these past few days had been hard enough for me, from trying to understand my mother’s diary, to understanding those who call themselves family who tell me things I didn’t know about my mother.

“Then tell me. You say my mother yearned to be queen, but it wasn’t from the Black Rose Pack, right?” I asked, on the verge of tears.

“No, she wanted to be queen of lycans, and that was her mistake,” the Goddess responded.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean, your mother should never have left her home, her pack. Lycans can never leave, especially their queen.

And once she left, she realized that her biggest mistake was leaving to accomplish something else just to prove to her mother that she didn’t need to be under her control to be there.

“…That if she so wished to see her become queen, then she would be queen of the Black Rose. Little did she know that her rightful place was on her land, where your grandmother sits.”

“Then why didn’t she return?” I asked, knowing that there was a chance the Goddess didn’t know. “Why not return home? Was it because of my father?”

“No.” The Goddess frowned.

“Then?” I snapped. “Tell me!”

“Simple. If she returned, then she would have to kill your grandmother, and Enora wouldn’t go down easily, since she is so obsessed with being queen.” She shrugged.

“Then why does she want Elaine?” Connor asked. “If she won’t hand over the throne easily, then why force Elaine to stay?”

The Goddess looked at us, amusement lingering in her eyes.

“Because both of you are mates and…” She smiled a wicked smile that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Mates?” I breathed.

“Yes,” she laughed. “Enora hates you being her mate.”

“Why? It makes no sense,” I mumbled.

“I see you don’t know, then.” She shook her head and smiled.

“You know your mother left hoping your grandmother would forget about her just because she mated with a wolf.

“But the truth is that she couldn’t, because a lycan queen has to kill her mate to become queen of the pack.” The Goddess beamed.

“And for your mother to take her place, she would need to kill both Enora, who was her own mother, and her mate, your father. Also, there’s something else…”

“And that’s what she tried to do, didn’t she?” Connor mumbled as my hands trembled.

My head dropped, eyes closing as a throbbing pain pulsed through it.

“Yes,” the Goddess confirmed to Connor. “Your mother had a plan to kill your father, but it was a trap for your grandmother.”

“And she didn’t see my father killing her coming,” I added, feeling my world shatter even more.

“Indeed. A sad turn of events, but it was her fate.” The Goddess shrugged. “She was destined to die either way.”

“You!” I spat out. Connor’s arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him.

“I won’t sugarcoat it, child. Your mother’s death was a consequence of your birth.

“If you seek revenge, then fulfill her plan. Kill your grandmother. Kill your lover. Claim the position you crave. It’s yours for the taking.”

“You said lover? You mean my brother?” Connor’s brow furrowed. I tried to push his arm away, but his grip was unyielding.

“Yes. I’m aware of his actions, but I can’t intervene unless you capture him,” the Goddess replied.

“You won’t have to do anything!” I gasped. “I’ll kill him myself.”

“But you had your chance, and you let him go,” she retorted. Connor stiffened behind me. “Makes me wonder ~why~.”

I stopped struggling, focusing on Connor who remained still. His heart pounded against my back.

“I’m curious about your next move,” she chuckled, turning away. “I’ll watch with interest. For now, goodbye.”

We watched her vanish. Once we were alone, Connor released me and started to leave.

I turned, anxiety gnawing at me as he stormed out of the temple. I followed, trying to stop him.

“Wait, Connor!” I pleaded, but he recoiled from my touch as if it scalded him. “Connor!”

“I heard everything you said,” Connor murmured, stopping in his tracks. “I heard you tell the Goddess how little you value your life, how you don’t mind being selfish.”

“Connor…,” I managed to say, breathless. His back was hunched. “I—”

“You think my love for you is worthless, don’t you?” Connor snapped. “You think I can’t protect you, that I’m not strong enough? That you mean ~nothing~ to me? Is that it?”

“No,” I replied. My body shook as I watched him glare at me. “Let me explain.”

“No!” he yelled, cutting me off. “You think you’re invincible? That your selfishness will lead you to victory, to happiness? You’re mistaken, Elaine.

“~This~,” he said, gesturing between us. “What you’re doing won’t bring you joy. It’s only driving us apart.”

I dropped my arms, feeling my heart shatter.

I didn’t want to hurt him, to make him angry. I was only trying to protect him.

“I’m just trying to protect you,” I whispered, lowering my gaze in shame.

He walked over to me, grabbing my arm. His fingers dug into my skin. I winced at the sudden grip.

“Can’t you see I don’t need your protection?” he asked, his voice shaking.

“Yes, you do!” I insisted stubbornly. “~You can’t die~. Sorin will kill you. My grandma almost did!”

“And you can die, then?” Connor muttered. His face was hidden in the shadows. I opened my mouth, speechless. “WILL YOU DIE AND LEAVE ME THEN!”

Stunned, my eyes widened as he shook me violently.

“DOES MY LOVE MEAN SO LITTLE TO YOU?” he yelled, tears streaming down my face.

“No,” I sobbed. “I love you so much, but I can’t stand to see you hurt, to even think about losing you.”

“So pushing me away and leaving me is the solution?” he asked, as I looked up at him. “You think that won’t destroy me?”

He stopped shaking me, his body now trembling. I watched his hands slide down my arms to my wrists, gripping them so tightly that bruises formed.

I didn’t pull away. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.

“Then stop pushing me away, Elaine. I can’t relive the past months.

“You have no idea how hard it was to watch you die in my arms, to cry for you, to hear everyone else pleading for help and no one could do anything,” he choked out.

“I did everything to avoid losing you again. I saved you because I want you with me.

“Getting yourself killed won’t make me happy. It will drive me mad. Mad to the point of insanity and then death. Don’t you see that?

“Are you so blinded that you don’t care about others’ feelings?”

Slowly, he let go and stepped back.

“If you’re so determined to do it, then go ahead,” he said, turning away. I groaned and moved to block his path.

With arms outstretched, I stood there, tears streaming down my face. Under the moonlight illuminating the temple’s entrance, I could see his somber expression.

“Move, Elaine,” Connor ordered, but I stood my ground. “Move, or I’ll make you.”

“Then make me. Come and move me,” I challenged. A flash of anger crossed his face before he shook his head and advanced, pushing me roughly aside.

I reached for his face, cradling it between my hands, staring into his golden eyes.

They blazed with intensity. Khan was visible in his eyes, and my reflection stared back at me.

“I would set the world on fire for you. I will kill anyone who dares to touch you. I would annihilate anyone who lays a finger on you. I would do anything, just for you.

“My love for you is that deep. It’s that important to me. I’d sacrifice my own happiness for it,” I told him, as he stopped fighting against me.

His eyes widened in surprise.

“I’m not strong just for the sake of it. I’m strong because I’m determined to protect the ones I love with everything I have.

“My heart, which is yours, will keep beating until its last beat, as long as I don’t have to watch you die for me. I don’t care if you end up hating me. ~Hate me~ if you must. But I won’t back down.

“My plans are set, and if I don’t follow through, I won’t find peace.”

“So we just stand by and watch?” he asked, pushing my hands away. “We just watch you take on the world, destroy it, wipe it out all by yourself?”

I gave him a sad smile.

“I could, but,” I said, holding his hand in mine. “Someone once told me we’re a team, a unit. And maybe he was right.

“I might think I can do this alone, and maybe I could, but now I realize I can’t without hurting you in the process.”

“So you won’t do this alone?” he asked, his voice shaky. I lifted my head, smiling.

“Only if you promise not to die for me,” I said, making him laugh.

“Same goes for you,” he replied.

Pulling him closer, I grabbed his shirt and kissed him with the intensity of waves crashing on the shore—fierce, wet, desperate, and needy.

A primal sound escaped from Connor’s chest, which made me smile.

Out of breath, I pulled back. His eyes were ablaze with desire, but that desire would have to wait.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, kissing my eyelids. I held him tight.

“Nothing. Just thinking,” I whispered. His lips brushed against mine lightly, sending a shiver down my spine.

I smiled, then remembered the words of the Goddess.

“We have to stop Sorin,” I said.

“I know. My mom and Jyn are searching for him around the pack. He must be nearby.”

“He sure is,” I smirked, glancing at Connor out of the corner of my eye.

“You think so?” he asked, his brow furrowed.

“Yes,” I replied with a smirk. “Where else would he be?”

Connor’s eyebrows knitted together, then slowly rose in realization.

“The pack,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

“Yes,” I smiled. “Sorin is hiding in Enora’s pack.”

“So…”

“We talk to Darian, and we pay her a visit,” I said, smirking.