Chapter 57: Savage Is My Middle Name

ELAINE

One down.

Two shredded.

Three blindsided.

Four throats slashed.

Five dead.

“Is that all of them?” Yuki asked, coming up to me.

I surveyed the scene: bodies ripped apart, guts strewn about, and a single survivor backed against a tree, surrounded by four of our warriors.

With a calmness that belied the chaos around us, I crouched in front of him, gripping his chin firmly.

He was a mess of blood and grime, a deep gash across his eye that would leave him scarred and blind.

“Where is he?” I demanded. “Talk, or I’ll tear off your fingers, ~slowly~.”

He tried to lash out, but my foot found his stomach, sending him sprawling.

“Don’t push me. You attack ~my~ pack unprovoked! Now tell me. Where’s your leader?”

His response was a bloody grin, which only served to irritate me further.

~“Any luck?”~ Jyn’s voice echoed in my mind.

~“Nothing. What about you?”~ I shot back, frustration seeping into my words. ~“We’ve got a few captives, but no sign of that bastard.”~

~“Take it easy, Elaine,”~ he advised.

~“What’s the word from the front line?”~ I asked, knowing that Connor and two of my brothers were there.

When the rogues first showed up and Connor left with a group of warriors, including my brothers, Jyn sent another twenty to back them up.

We suspected a trap, given the rogues’ low numbers.

Something else had to be at play. A small band of rogues wouldn’t dare attack our pack of over two hundred wolves. I had a feeling.

I assembled a team and called Yuki and some of his pack members to join us.

We began to scout the area and so far, we’d discovered three other groups of rogues hiding around the castle.

Sorin was nowhere to be found, only his followers had shown up.

~“Keep me posted,”~ I instructed before severing the mental link. I turned back to Yuki, who was pummeling the rogue into a bloody pulp.

His face was unrecognizable.

“Yuki, that’s enough,” I called out. “Take him back to the castle and lock him up. The rest of you, split into groups of five and continue the search.”

They all acknowledged the order and dispersed.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in action,” Yuki remarked, prompting a small smile from me. “You look every bit the queen you were born to be.”

“I don’t,” I replied with a wry smile. “It’s just training and a few good fights. Why don’t you head back to the castle, assist Jyn, and let me know if you get anything out of the rogues we’ve captured?”

Yuki frowned.

“What are you going to do?” he asked, the unspoken question hanging in the air.

I glanced back at the castle, then towards one of the guest houses.

“I’m going to pay a visit to someone who might be able to help.” With that, I shifted and sprinted down the path.

***

Under different circumstances, the peace would have been perfect, but nothing felt peaceful now.

Not with most of the pack members standing guard around the pack and the few families with children.

I pushed open the door and entered the spacious living room of the guest house where Darian was staying.

He was easy to spot, standing by the window, watching the warriors outside.

He was dressed in black gear that looked familiar. Upon closer inspection, I recognized it.

“It suits you,” I commented, taking a seat. “But my brother would be livid. He doesn’t like to share.”

“Is that so?” Darian smiled, glancing over his shoulder. “I heard about the rogue attack.”

I raised an eyebrow as he sat across from me. His hair was tousled, falling attractively over his face.

There was a certain allure to him. Perhaps it was the familiarity, the shared lycan heritage, the connection to our distant homeland.

“Sorin isn’t with them. All this”—I gestured vaguely—“feels like a distraction.”

“A trap?” Darian suggested.

“Maybe, but something’s off. You mentioned before that Sorin was with Enora, that she was aiding him.”

“You could say that.” Darian shrugged. “She might have her own reasons for helping him.”

“Reasons I’m aware of,” I replied coolly. “Sorin wants her throne, and since she isn’t handing it over willingly, he must have threatened her.”

“No one threatens her,” Darian countered with a smirk.

“I did, or have you forgotten?” I stood up. “She thinks I’m joking, but I don’t joke, Darian.”

My boot landed between his legs.

“When I want something, I get it, even if it means killing.” Darian’s hands clenched on his thighs, his lip quivering slightly.

“Now, I’m going to ask you something, and you better give me the right answer.”

“What?” he growled.

“Enora is keeping Sorin for a reason. Is that reason Connor?” I asked, watching his eyes narrow.

“Why do you want to know?” he shot back.

“Just answer the damn question,” I snapped. “Is she keeping him because of Connor?”

Darian sighed and seemed to relax as I withdrew my foot.

“If he’s there, he must have offered her something she wants,” he explained.

“Like what?” I pressed, growing impatient.

“You?” he suggested. “She wants you, and so does Sorin. I think sending the rogues here was Sorin’s idea.”

A loud crash from outside had both Darian and me on our feet. Our lycans were on high alert as a howl and then a snarl echoed through the air.

I reached for the doorknob, but Darian’s hand closed around my arm. I spun around, anger flaring.

“Sorin’s got it in for Connor. They’re probably scheming to split you two up,” Darian warned. “Watch your back.”

Another thud echoed, followed by a chorus of cheers. The rogue, or whatever was out there, had been taken down by the pack.

“Then you’re coming with me.” I grinned, which seemed to throw Darian off. I leaned in and playfully slapped his cheek. “We’re both heading back to the pack.”

“Are you out of your mind?” he retorted, pulling away from me. “You can’t.”

“I can, and I will. Don’t you dare betray me, Darian. I won’t hesitate to rip your throat out.”

He swallowed hard but eventually nodded. With my most charming smile, I swung the door open for him.

He glanced outside, then back at me.

“You better have a solid plan,” he remarked.

“I always do.”

***

Sneaking away from the pack without a word would cause a stir, but right now, this moment was the perfect chance to leave those I cared about behind.

I had no idea what Enora was planning, but I knew Sorin better than anyone else, and he was waiting for me.

We raced through the desolate woods, heading for the pack. A nearby howl made us both veer off our current path.

No matter where I was, I’d recognize that howl, even in my sleep.

~“You remember the plan, right?”~ I mind-linked Darian. ~“Do exactly as I say when I say it.”~

He shot me a glare, his green eyes swirling with a hint of black.

As we reached a clearing in the woods, we both stopped dead in our tracks. Two lycans from Enora’s pack stood in the center, and my ex-lover was right there with them.

I shifted mid-leap and landed gracefully. I was decked out in the special gear I always wore for battles.

“You showed up,” Sorin sneered. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Get your men out of my pack!” I growled, which only made him smile.

“No, Elaine. That’s not my style,” he replied, waving his hand dismissively. “Things aren’t that simple. I have my own agenda, and, well, your grandmother has hers.”

“She’s not my grandmother!” I snapped, which made him laugh.

“You two look alike. How can you not be related?” he chuckled. “And you, traitor. You should be dead. Just wait until your queen gets her hands on you.”

Darian growled beside me. His lycan was still present as I stepped forward.

“I said, get your men out of my pack.”

“And if I don’t, you’ll kill everyone, including me?” he taunted.

“Oh no,” I chuckled. “Your head’s been on my hit list for a while, so don’t worry. I’ll definitely deliver it to your mother on a silver platter. She’ll be thrilled.”

Sorin’s face twisted into a snarl, and then he lunged. With a wicked grin, I sidestepped, and he landed in his wolf form.

I kept a safe distance, but from where I stood, I could see something different, something new.

“No,” Darian murmured. He had shifted back to his human form.

“What?” I asked, puzzled.

“He’s got lycan blood in him,” he growled. “That son of a bitch!”

I turned to face him. Just as Darian had said, the oddity we were seeing was his wolf.

It wasn’t just a wolf, but also a lycan.

“You’ve been experimenting on yourself,” I spat. “And on humans too.”

Sorin shifted back and smiled, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and was filled with malice.

“Yes, I have, and I’ll keep doing it. Did you think I joined the hunters just for kicks?

“Don’t be naive. I joined because I not only gained a leadership position, but I also learned a lot, thanks to the humans.”

I glanced between him and the other two lycans. They didn’t seem surprised or concerned. It was as if they’d been brainwashed.

“I had plenty of time all these years while you were betraying the Goddess, your creator.”

“That goes for you too, ~ex-lover~.” I smirked.

He brushed off my words and continued as if nothing had fazed him.

“When I discovered what I could do, I offered my people something they couldn’t refuse.”

“Strength,” Darian chimed in.

“No, ~power.~ They wanted to know what it felt like to be us, and I gave them that. Of course, every experiment requires sacrifices, and some were made for the cause.” He shrugged.

“A cause only you could find joy in. They’re humans, Sorin!” I shouted. “Not born or made lycans or wolves. You don’t get to play God.”

“But you did.” He tilted his head and flashed a grin. My hand tightened around my gear as his words echoed in my head.

“You pretended to be powerful, stronger, and superior to your mother, who created you. You played God when it wasn’t your place, and look where it got you.”

“On the right path,” I retorted, and lunged. Sorin stepped back, dodging the dagger I had drawn from my hip.

Sorin laughed and crouched, catching me off guard.

He swept my feet out from under me, and I fell forward, where he knocked the dagger away. I half-shifted and used my claws to strike him. A grunt escaped his lips as I flipped over and crouched.

Blood dripped from his chin, a deep gash across his mouth.

With a steady hand, he touched it and then smiled.

“You’ll never escape me, Elaine. Not when we belong together,” he said, standing tall. “After all, isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

I stood up, holding my head high.

“Yeah, ~wanted~,” I echoed. “Not anymore. Wait, no, let me correct that. I never wanted ~you~ or loved ~you.~”

Sorin’s face twisted in anger as he lunged at me.

I tried to reach for the dagger, but Sorin’s teeth found my leg, yanking me off balance and sending me crashing into a tree.

I coughed, but I managed to stay on my feet.

Brushing off my clothes, I turned to see Darian, poised with a dagger of his own.

I gave him a nod. His eyes widened in surprise.

~“Go,”~ I commanded, but he just stared back, worry etched on his face. ~“Do what I told you.”~ He hesitated, but finally turned and left. Two lycans near Sorin took off after him.

I knew he’d be okay. He’d do what I asked.

I turned back to Sorin and gasped. He was right in front of me, his face devoid of any emotion. His hand was wrapped around my neck.

I elbowed his arm, then delivered a hard kick to his stomach.

His grip loosened, giving me the opening I needed. Grinning, I flipped and kicked him in the face, sending him sprawling into another tree.

Sorin spat blood and growled as he transformed into his wolf form. I didn’t shift, choosing instead to meet him head on.

With Ashina in control, we bit, kicked, growled, and clawed.

We grabbed his tail, pulling until he slipped from our grasp. It didn’t take long for us to find another opportunity, and this time our teeth found his thigh.

Sorin kicked, trying to find an opening, but I had a different plan. I let go and shifted just as he turned to attack.

A glint from the side told me the dagger was there. I rolled to the side, grabbing it just in time before Sorin landed on me.

He howled as I sliced through his stomach. His screams echoed in my ears, but I didn’t stop. I pushed forward and tackled him.

Sorin quickly regained control, pinning me beneath him, his teeth sinking into my wrist and causing me to drop the dagger.

I screamed in pain as Sorin’s paws stomped on my stomach, pinning me down.

The pain in my arm brought tears to my eyes.

~“You don’t get to control me~!” Sorin mind-linked. ~“And you don’t get to do as you please. Not when I have the control.”~

“No one fucking controls me!” I pushed back, reaching for the dagger and stabbing him in the shoulder.

He howled and staggered back. Using his snout, Sorin pulled the dagger out and bit down on it until it snapped.

My eyes widened. Where was he getting this strength?

I lost focus for a moment, not noticing him closing in on me with his teeth bared. I barely dodged in time, but he still managed to bite my stomach. I cried out in pain.

I knew I needed to shift, but I didn’t want to.

I always preferred to fight my battles without shifting, but my mind was screaming at me to let Ashina and whatever was left of Khan inside me take control.

A small fear crept into my heart. I knew that if I let them take control, I might lose myself like I did with Enora.

If Connor hadn’t called my name then, I would have killed her. I would have killed everyone.

I shook my head, trying to push away the darkness, but it was strong, calling me, telling me to let go.

I knew I shouldn’t, but Sorin had the upper hand.

With another agonizing scream, my vision blurred, and I felt Ashina pushing through my mind.

“Damn it,” I muttered, finally letting go.

In an instant, my mind went numb, and my lycan, along with something else, took control.

We shifted and turned the tables. Flesh was torn, blood was spilled, and growls mixed with screams.

Ashina threw Sorin over a fallen tree. We landed on top of him, tearing through his fur. His mane was matted with blood and dirt.

He growled, his teeth bared and eyes black. He clawed at our face with his paws, but I didn’t let him. I bit down on his muscle and ripped it apart.

I could hear the victory cry as he whimpered and suddenly shifted back.

It took him a moment to realize his wolf, or whatever it was, had shifted him back without his consent.

He looked shaken as I growled at him.

Pushing for control, Ashina slowly retreated, and I shifted back, bloody and with my clothes torn.

“Mercy is the last thing you deserve,” I said, my voice rough.

It wasn’t just me who spoke down at Sorin.

“I should kill you, but”—I smiled down at him—“I think I’ll enjoy this. You know…slowly. Making you pay for everything you’ve done.”

Sorin scrambled back until his back hit another tree.

“Tear me apart, and I won’t die,” he said, catching me off guard.

A wicked smile spread across Sorin’s injured face. How could I have forgotten?

As I looked closer, I noticed that the arm Enora had torn off was back.

It was flesh and bone, wounded and bleeding.

I stared at it, confusion washing over me as a cold realization hit me.

I had a split second before something glinted and I jumped back.

But I was too late, and a long dagger was thrust my way. My reflexes kicked in, and instead of stabbing me in the chest, the dagger hit my hand.

“Your eyes should only be on me!” Sorin screamed like a madman and pulled the dagger back.

He lunged at me again. I dodged him, but this time he grabbed my hair and yanked hard, causing me to stumble back and fall.

I kicked up with my leg, making him stumble.

“Bitch!” he cursed as he turned his hand, and I noticed his broken nose.

Sorin yelled and lunged at me. I grabbed the first thing I could find and slammed it against the side of his head.

The piece of branch shattered as he quickly raised the dagger and aimed for my chest.

I leaned away and grabbed the dagger mid-strike.

Blood splattered on the ground as we both strained against each other, pushing to see who would fall first.

“Do you really think killing me will solve anything?” Sorin challenged. “Enora won’t stop. She’ll go after your mate.”

“She won’t!” I spat back, my teeth grinding together as he pushed harder, the blade of the dagger digging deeper into my skin. “I won’t let her!”

“But what if she has someone on the inside?” he taunted, a sudden smile playing on his lips. “Someone you trust?”

I blinked, taken aback, but quickly regained my composure.

“No one close to me would ever betray me. The only traitor here is you, Sorin. You’re nothing but scum!” I yelled, twisting his arm with a scream until I heard the satisfying snap of bone.

He cursed, dropping to his knees, and I kicked him hard. He skidded across the field, coming to a halt in the dirt.

“If you’re implying Darian would betray me, you’re wrong. He wouldn’t. Not when I have something he wants!” I hissed.

I bent down to retrieve the dagger he’d dropped earlier.

“And as for Enora, I’ll kill her,” I declared, advancing on him. “I’ll rip her apart with my bare teeth, then I’ll make her men fill buckets with her blood and pour it over her lands.

“Her head will be displayed on the gates of the pack house as a warning. No one messes with me.”

Sorin looked pale and grim, but he held his head high.

“You won’t do it!” he whispered defiantly. “Not when you don’t know the whole story.”

“I don’t want to know,” I replied coolly, and with a swift motion, I threw the blade, embedding it in his groin. He cried out, reaching for the weapon, his face a mask of tears and blood.

“Whatever secrets you’re hiding, I don’t want to hear them. I don’t want to know. I’ll bury the past with you.”

Sorin started to laugh, blood staining his teeth as he grinned up at me.

“And you thought I was the fool? No one here is more foolish than you!” he cackled.

Then I felt it, a sharp pain in my neck that made me double over.

In a panic, I reached for the source of the pain.

“I warned you.” He knelt, gasping for breath. “You don’t know everything.”

The pain flared again, making me cry out. I instinctively reached for the source and realized where it was coming from.

Something in my chest tore, and I gasped, my hands clawing at the air as the pain intensified.

“My queen, my Elaine,” Sorin whispered, clutching my hair. “Can’t you see? Someone has betrayed you.”

I was breathless, the pain tearing through me as if my heart and emotions were being ripped out alive.

“I’m always right!” Sorin hissed in my face, yanking my head up so I could see him. “Now I can say I’ve won.”

With my body shaking and the pain overwhelming me, I listened to his laughter, a victorious sound that echoed around the desolate landscape.

Everything inside me, including Ashina, cried out. I could feel it deep within me, a slow, agonizing pain.

Another wave of pain washed over me, and I screamed.

“Don’t worry. We’ll give him a proper burial.” Sorin kissed my cheek.

Then something came over me. It was as silent as a deadly night and as invisible as the air we breathe every day.

It numbed me completely until I slowly drifted into darkness, forgetting where I was, the pain, and the noise.

Sorin’s laughter stopped abruptly, his grip on my hair loosening as if it burned him, as if what he was seeing terrified him.

I couldn’t feel or speak or think. All I could do was watch, watch as I reached for the dagger, watch as Sorin started screaming and my arm came down on his shoulder.

I stabbed him over and over until his mouth filled with blood.

Slowly, I discarded the dagger and grabbed his hair, dragging him to the center of the field. I reached for his arm.

My claws were out, digging into his flesh, tearing through skin and muscle until they hit bone.

He screamed and thrashed as I snapped each bone in his arm and tore it away.

I dropped him, but my foot landed hard on his chest, and he gasped for breath.

His free arm reached for my ankle, but I bent over. My knee pressed into his chest. I slapped his hand away and, without a word, grabbed his shirt.

I watched as horror spread across his face. He was covered in deep gashes and smaller cuts.

His cheek was torn open, revealing the inside of his mouth.

He struggled, pleaded, but I dragged him until I could smell the moss, sweat, blood, and the scent of impending death.

A death that I welcomed.

“Elaine!” he choked out, but I just stared at him until my vision started to fade and I lost consciousness.

***

When I came to, I was lying on the ground, blinking up at the rain that fell, washing away my tears.

I had blacked out, with no memory of where I was or what had happened. Slowly, I sat up and took in the scene before me.

I gasped, horrified at what I saw.

Looking down, I saw myself covered in blood and gore, body parts scattered at my feet. My hands were bruised and bloody.

I looked back up, feeling the urge to vomit, but I took a deep breath and looked away, closing my eyes.

What was left of Sorin was nothing more than bones and tattered clothes. I had torn him to pieces.

The taste of blood was still in my mouth. I quickly brought a hand to my face, peeling a piece of skin from my chin.

Feeling sick, I turned over and vomited.

I wiped my mouth and gasped for air. My body felt cold, and a numbness still lingered within me.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm down, but it was impossible. Sorin was behind me, unrecognizable. But this was what I wanted, him dead and his deeds paid for.

I opened my eyes and stared at my hand, then at my wrist. I blinked once, twice, still confused by what I was seeing.

The bracelet that connected Connor and me had turned rusty. Its silver color was gone. The shine it once had was gone, as if it had never existed.

Fear gripped me as my entire body started to shake. Thinking back, I remembered the pain that had hit me.

I moved my hand up to where the mating mark was.

A sense of emptiness greeted me, and fear tightened its grip around my neck, suffocating me.

I felt it before I could even think it, and I clasped my hands over my mouth as a terrible scream tore from my throat.

Tears streamed down my face as I hunched over, my heart feeling as if it were slowly breaking apart.

In a fit of despair, I pounded the ground, letting out a scream that echoed my pain. I knelt there, looking up at the sky, my screams swallowed by the thunder that split the heavens.

The rain washed away my tears, and I let my hands drop to my sides, the emptiness inside me numbing everything else.

I didn’t feel the cold, or the pain from my injuries. None of that mattered. All I wanted was to go back to a time before all this.

Closing my eyes, I let the rain wash it all away.

***

When I opened my eyes again, I was surrounded by a blinding light. The sun.

It was bright, invigorating, and warm.

I blinked, trying to shake off the heaviness in my eyelids. But the more I blinked, the more the tears came, turning into sobs.

The same emptiness was there, whispering that this was my punishment, that everything was my fault. From the beginning until now.

I clutched my chest, closing my eyes to hold back a scream. I didn’t want anyone to hear my pain. I wasn’t one to show my weakness.

Wiping away my tears, I finally sat up.

My heart jumped into my throat as I recognized the figure sitting in front of me, arms crossed and a pained smile on his face.

My eyes traced over his body, taking in every detail.

He was wrapped in bandages, his right leg encased in a cast.

“Connor?” I stuttered. “I thought…”

He didn’t respond. He just stared at me, his eyes filled with longing, with desire.

Ignoring the pain in my body, I rushed towards him.

All I wanted was to hold him, to confirm that this wasn’t a dream, that when I woke up, it wouldn’t all be a nightmare.

“Connor…,” I choked out, reaching for his face. He didn’t move or say anything. He just looked at me, his eyes searching my face.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close.

“You’re alive!” I sobbed. “You’re alive and here.”

Slowly, his arms came around me, holding me tightly.

Relief washed over me, and I cried. The tears I thought I had run out of came flooding back.

“I felt you…,” I mumbled into his hair. “I felt you die.”

Pulling back, I cupped his face. There were still faint traces of bruises, a few lines where cuts had been, but he seemed okay.

“It’s really you,” I repeated, looking into his eyes.

Connor just looked at me. His smile was gone, and that worried me.

“Connor?”

Why wasn’t he saying anything?

My fingers traced his face, his head, his shoulders, and then stopped at his neck.

My eyes followed my hand, then dropped to the bandages stained red.

I couldn’t stop shaking as I touched them.

He didn’t react, didn’t make a sound. There was nothing to indicate he was in pain.

Breathing heavily, I looked at him.

~“Elaine,”~ he said in my mind, his voice faint.

“Why aren’t you talking?” I asked, my voice shaky.

Connor lowered his gaze. His hands moved down to my waist, playing with the elastic band of my pants.

~“I need you to listen to me,”~ he said calmly. ~“Please don’t panic.”~

I stood up and backed away until I felt the hard edge of the bed against my back.

~“Elaine?”~ Connor called, concern in his voice.

I shook my head, refusing to believe what was happening.

~“Elaine,”~ he said again, reaching for me. I wanted to pull away, but I also craved his touch. I needed it to reassure myself that he was really there.

Closing my eyes, I let him pull me closer, his hands rubbing my shoulders.

If I had any heart left, this was the last of it. I could feel it beating its last as Connor whispered the words.

Words that I knew would be my burden, my pain, to carry until the end of my days.

~“I…,”~ he started, his voice strained.

“Just say it,” I demanded, my hands clenched at my sides. “Just say what you need to say!”

Bracing myself, I waited for him to speak.

“I’m sorry... I,” he began, his voice filled with regret. “Elaine, I can never speak again.”