Chapter 23. Blanket

🎶 Shayarana (from Daawat-e-ishq)

Published on 10.07.2022

| AUTHOR'S POV |

"You like him?" Alisha raises an eyebrow.

"You like him." Nikita says in confirmation.

Inaaya's gaze switches between them and she looks at them with a blank stare. "When y'all have the questions as well as their answers then what's the need of me being here?" She turns to go when her friends grab both her wrists.

"We want to hear it from you." Nikita says, holding her right hand.

"Exactly." Alisha agrees, holding her left hand.

Inaaya exhales sharply. "Leave my hand first so I can atleast turn."

They immediately drop her hand.

"I don't know." Inaaya tells them. "I. Don't. Know."

"You chose him above us! You took him to the NGO, not us." Alisha accuses, the feeling of betrayal pouring through her tone.

"Why did you do that?" Nikita asks.

Inaaya swallows and looks at them like a deer caught. "I don't have to tell you all the reasons." She answers lamely.

Alisha gives out a bitter chuckle. "Stop infuriating me more. Just accept that you like him."

"You can't force me to accept something about which I'm not sure." She argues.

"You're blushing." Nikita states coolly.

"I'm not. I'm- ," she would prefer to die than accept she was blushing. "I'm just nervous." She manages to say amidst the rapid pounding of her heart.

Nikita squints at her. "Remember, he was the one who told he likes you? You don't have to be scared of him liking you back because we're sure he already does." She tries to give some reassurance and reasoning.

Inaaya had almost forgotten that incident. It just seemed so bizzare for some reason. But right now, it does make her feel slightly better and gives some support to her clouded thoughts.

Alisha snaps her fingers in front of a standing Inaaya and she blinks.

"We don't promote daydreaming right now. So you accept you like him?"

Inaaya assesses their inquisitive stares. It's unnerving but she isn't going to crumble and give them what they want especially when she isn't sure. She needs time to think and even though the idea of her and Ayansh makes her heart foolishly flutter, she isn't going to admit. "I don't. And you two," she moves her index finger between them, "should focus on the upcoming exams."

Alisha and Nikita's head jerk to face each other in an instant.

"We've exams?"

"We've exams?"

They both say at the same time and realise that Inaaya just fooled them so she could bail out. They look forward to see her already at a distant.

"Bitch!" Alisha barks out.

"Traitor." Nikita shouts.

Inaaya flips them off.

~

"So what are you plans after MBA?" Durvesh initiates a conversation during dinner.

Inaaya's jaw clenches and suddenly she feels she has lost all her appetite.

Why does this man keep initiating conversations especially the ones where he already know the answers?

"You already know that." She answers in a clipped tone, resuming her dinner.

"Why don't you join our own company just like your brother?" He cuts to the chase.

She looks up at him, gives him a 'you already know that as well' stare and when he still doesn't get a hint to drop the stupid conversation, she looks away gritting her teeth. "My answer is still the same. I want to figure things out on my own, create my own path and even if I don't end up at a higher level like y'all, I'm fine with it."

"Dad, why are you pushing her? Just let it go." Kartik meddled in, not liking how his sister's mood was again getting ruined.

"I'm just trying to help her. I don't want her to struggle unnecessarily." He justified himself and looked back at Inaaya. "Why don't you just let me help you, make things better for you?"

Inaaya looked at him with incredulity. "Why don't you stop forcing me into things I don't want to do?" Her voice wavers. Instead of coming out as a snarky question, it came out as a desperate, helpless plea and she got up. "I'm done." She says, referring to the dinner as well as the conversation and rushes to her room.

Inaaya shuts the door behind her and then leans back, her breathing ragged as she tries to calm down her nerves. It's tough, so tough to face him daily and even after years, she isn't able to hold a conversation with him. No matter how much of a strong facade she puts up, it crumbles at a snap revealing that she never healed and will never heal. It hurts to wanting to forget the past but not able to when it's inked to every inch of her skin. It feels miserable to be this weak and helpless that the only option you see is to escape, to run, to look for a distraction. As if sensing her need for a distraction, her phone rings and she walks to the table to pick it up.

Her heart does a little sigh of relief on seeing the name.

"Hello." She says rather calmly, masking off her anxiety, frustration, hate and sadness.

"Hey!" The voice on the other side, nervous yet excited makes a butterfly flutter in her stomach. "Hope I didn't disturb you."

"No, you didn't. Why did you call?" She rushes because she's unsure if she can hold on a long conversation without breaking into a sob.

Ayansh frowns, noticing the weird tone. "I just wanted to thank you for inviting me to the NGO yesterday. I really had a great time there with kids, felt really happy."

Liar! You just wanted to hear her voice.

His subconscious mocks him, calling him out on the blatant lie he was telling her. Sure, he felt grateful but the main reason for calling her was because he wanted to talk to her, wanted to hear her voice. He missed her strangely.

"Are- okay, fine." Inaaya decided against asking him why was he being so formal.

There was a moment of silence before he answered.

"Are you okay?"

There was this voice again. The voice that pulls the strings of her heart, making her want to fall apart, surrender herself to the abyss with the trust that he would catch her. And she finds her obliging, keeping the conversation going by giving him the truth even if it's not complete.

"No, I'm not." She states. "Distract me and if you can't, then cut the call." She sits on the chair.

"What happened?" He questions softly.

"An argument? Yeah, a small argument with my parents." She replies which was more like convincing herself that it was true. "That's not important." She immediately adds. "Do something to take my mind off from that or just leave me alone."

"Hold on," he says urgently, afraid she might just hit the decline option. "Let me think something."

"Okay."

"Okay." He nods.

"Okay." She's tapping her foot on the floor.

"Okay." He repeats. "Actually, not okay." He falls on his bed with a thud. "What can I do? I'm not an icecream that you can eat when you're upset or a comedian who can make you laugh or a dog whom you can take for a stroll to get some fresh air. I'm just- I'm- I'm Ayansh." He says dejectedly.

"So, I'm Ayansh, cut the call." She's about to put her phone down when he stops her.

"Wait, wait, wait," he says frantically and looks around for some inspiration. He doesn't really know how he can cheer her up but the thought of her being upset unsettles him. "Take a blanket."

"Sorry?" She says, doubting if she heard him right.

Ayansh curses under his breath. The line just came out of his mouth before he could think rationally and now, he has to go with it. "Take a blanket." He repeats, this time more assertively.

Inaaya walks up to her bed and picks up the blanket lying. "I did." She says, uncertainty lacing her tone.

"Wrap it around yourself." He instructs her carefully.

She drops the blanket. "You've got to be kidding me." The first hint of annoyance, getting injected into her veins.

"Just do as I say." He adds desperately.

"I'm talking to you on a phone. I can't do this." She reasons, keeping her voice calm.

"Then...... put your phone on speaker and keep it somewhere."

Inaaya grits her teeth. She's already regretting asking him to distract her because he's just adding more to the range of emotions she's already been feeling. Nonetheless, she puts the phone on speaker and keeps it on the stand on her study table.

"I'm probably being stupid to follow him." She says to herself as she wraps the blanket around her body and then walks towards the table like a penguin.

"What's next?" She questions in a clipped tone. She's already dreading that he would laugh on her at any moment revealing that all this time, he was simply playing with her.

"Good." There's respite in his voice. "Now, play any upbeat song of your choice." He says cheerily and that baffles her.

"Are you serious?" She asks hoping he isn't.

"Yes." He answers sincerely as if everything is normal.

"I've a thick blanket wrapped around me. I'm somehow holding it with my hands and now, you're asking me to play a song. Couldn't you suggest me this before you told me to do this blanket thing?" She asks in disbelief, mentally questioning his sanity and then even doubting her own sanity which propelled her to follow his ridiculous instructions.

Ayansh opens and closes his mouth like a fish. He realises the glitch in his plan. "I'm sorry?" He says sheepishly and Inaaya can imagine the embarassed smile that must have been stretched across his face. "Please manage somehow." He urges her in a small voice.

Inaaya sighs. She sits on the chair and connects her phone to the speaker. If she's already on the verge of losing her sanity for this guy then why not just lose it completely? She scrolls through her playlist and finally settles on "Sooraj Dooba Hain from Roy". She pulls the blanket closer to her body, liking the way it comforts her, provides her heat as if someone has their arms wrapped around her.

"Did as you told me."

"Now, dance." He says as if it's obvious, his voice confident and firm.

Inaaya looks down at herself and if there was any doubt before, she's sure now that Ayansh has completely lost the plot. "Are you alright?" She asks in concern.

"I'm perfectly fine," he assures her, "but that's not the point. Imagine as if you're some Bollywood actress and dance considering the blanket is some kind of dupatta. Feel like you're in some movie and are having your Aishwarya Rai moment, Inaaya Rai." He says proudly, impressed by himself for coming up with this idea spontaneously.

There's no answer for a brief moment and then she laughs. A mellow, unrestrained laughter bubbles through her throat and when she finally stops, there's tears in the corner of her eyes. "Have you ever suggested this idea to someone else?" She sniffs and rubs her face with the end of the blanket clutched by her fingers.

"No." He replies, feeling slightly offended.

"Forget that." She shakes her head. "You do realise that I'm a girl and I obviously have a dupatta so if you wanted me to dance with a dupatta why did you ask me to take a blanket?" She giggles in amusement.

Ayansh facepalms himself. If someone was keeping a count of the errors in his so called masterplan then they would've lost the count by now. "That's a human error. We can move on from that, can't we?" He says defensively. "But trust me, my plan works. You should indulge yourself in some self pampering sessions, have fun, let yourself loose and all those stuffs. It really- "

"Do you also dance with a blanket?" She cuts him off, her voice curious.

He debates if he should tell the truth or not and decides to be honest. "Yes, I mean not with the blanket- "

"With the dupatta?" She asks with wonder and surprise.

"No." He instantly denies and recoils. "Don't laugh at me!" He whines when he hears her laughing.

"I won't. I won't." She says, doing a zipping action although he couldn't see and covers her mouth because the imagination of Ayansh dancing with a dupatta is funnier than the reality.

"I should have actually cut the call." He says feeling mortified.

"No, no. I'm sorry." She begs. "Tell me the whole thing and then you can cut the call." She teases and falls into another round of laughter.

"You're cruel." He mutters. "When I was young, I used to imagine as if I was dancing a duet with someone and dance accordingly. That's it. That's. It." He repeats with more firmness, wanting to convince her it's not as bad as she's imagining. "Why will I dance with a dupatta? I don't even have them. I mean it's their in my house, my Mom has them but that doesn't mean I'll- "

"Ayansh," she calls out softly. "You're rambling. It's okay. I got you." Inaaya smiles. "You know what I think?"

"I don't want to know." He immediately answers listening to her mischievous tone. He's had enough embarassment that would last him a month, he can't take anymore.

"I think you're a 15 year old boy in the body of a- "

"Inaaya, no- "

" -22 year old," she chuckles, "boy."

"I'm not a boy, I'm a man." He shrieks and that just motivates her more to pull his leg.

"Why are you getting offended? You can call me a girl, woman or a lady and I won't mind."

"That's not how it works for us. If you think I'm a boy, don't talk to me ever." He huffs. He's just blabbering out of irritation at this point.

"Now, you're just being dramatic. Okay, lemme correct myself."

"I don't need it. I don't trust you."

"I'm a very trustworthy person. Trust me." She states, feigning genuineness.

"No- "

"So, you're a 15 year old boy trapped in the body of a 22 year old man." She recites as if doing a voiceover for a sorrowful backstory of a main character.

"I hope you're feeling better since you were looking for a distraction." He retorts sarcastically, his lips pressed in a straight line.

Inaaya titters at his childish comebacks. "Honestly, I'm." She agrees, her eyes gleaming with playfulness and joy. "But I'm sorry. I was just kidding with you. Don't take it seriously."

He hears the sincerity in her voice and even if she didn't explicitly voice it out, he knew she was doing a harmless joke. She doesn't even need to say sorry because he can't stay mad at her. He just can't and he doesn't know why. What the actual fuck?

"Fine. Good night."

"Wait. You're still mad." She says, not liking the way he sounded low, unaware that he's just pretending.

"I'm not."

"You're. I'll make up for it."

That piques his interest. "How?"

Inaaya thinks for a while. "Food makes everything better. I'll treat you with the best sushi food that you'll find in Mumbai. Tomorrow morning in Bandra. I'll text you the address." She offers. "Have you been there ever? And is it a problem considering you might have office?"

"No, I haven't and I can go to work a little late on somedays but don't you've college tomorrow?" He arches an eyebrow.

"I'll skip the initial lectures. It's not a big deal." She shrugs.

"For me?"

Two words but the way he says them is enough to make heat crawl up her body and her heart to beat frantically against the ribcage. The subtle insinuation masked under surprise, curiousity and anticipation doesn't go unnoticed by her and she finds her words stuck in her throat and thoughts tangled in her brain.

"No. I- I'm just feeling guilty and I hate feeling guilty. So, in order to not feel guilty, I'm- I'm bunking my classes. Yeah." She cringes internally at her blather and when he laughs, her flustered state only intensifies.

"Fine. I'll also come so I can help you get rid of your guilt." He says as if he's doing a favour, enjoying how the tables have turned.

"Good." She tries to sound confident. "Then, let's meet tomorrow. Good night. Good dreams." Before he could respond with another laugh at her expense, she cuts the call and slaps her forehead repeatedly.

Ayansh stares at his phone with mild shock and amusement before he rolls his eyes playfully and shakes his head. He lies back on his bed folding his hands above his head as he thinks about a girl who would be chastising herself at this moment for going from teasing a guy to getting teased herself.

"Idiot." Inaaya tells herself. "What even is good dreams? Huh?" She scrunches her face in annoyance.

Her eyes fall on the abandoned speaker and she remembers that the song had been playing the whole while. A faint smile touches her lips and she feels like letting her heart take the lead and do everything that her mind says is stupid and crazy. She raises the volume of the speaker and stands up and starts swaying mindlessly, her lips humming the lyrics. Soon, she finds the adrenaline rushing through her veins, making her want to jump and bob her head, let her hair loose and scream the lyrics on top of her lungs. And she does exactly that except screaming so she doesn't end up attracting her family members attention.

And the more she gives in to the urge, the more she craves. She changes the song and dances to them. There's nobody who could see her or form a judgement. It's just her in her safe haven having the liberty to make herself happy by whatever ways she wants to. She even grabs her pillow and dances as if she's dancing with an actual guy. It's silly and it makes her laugh but oh, it's so exhilarating.

So damn exhilarating.

***

No thoughts, just feelings.

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