Chapter 29. Miracles do exist

🎶 Aur Ho

Published on 06.08.2022

| AUTHOR'S POV |

He should've known.

God, he should've fucking known!

The moment Inaaya had messaged and told him that she had something delivered to his house personally, handed it over to the housekeeper because he wasn't there, he should've understood it wasn't good. This wasn't good.

"So you and Inaaya, huh?" Rahul kept his voice low and calm and pointed towards the medium sized frame in his hand but the rage in his eyes gave away that there was nothing calm about the whole situation.

Ayansh's eyes follow the sight of frame and his hands instantly reach out to pull it away from his brother's hold. It was instinctive, like a reflex, a primal need to safeguard whatever the heck it was. It was more important than the need to defend himself, discard the accusation, explain his brother and that baffled Rahul. It could've been a plain sheet of paper and Rahul knew Ayansh would've had the same reaction because it wasn't what it was that mattered but it was from Inaaya and that was everything to Ayansh.

"So- "

"It's nothing." Before Rahul could complete his sentence, Ayansh cut in, his eyes straying away from his brother's peering ones.

"You lied to me!" Rahul grits out, trying his best to keep his voice under control to not attract their parents attention in the house. "You had said you're going out for the weekend with your friends but you were with Inaaya. Just her." He adds, emphasizing on the last two words.

Silence.

"What does that mean Ayansh?"

More silence.

"You weren't planning to let me know about this, were you?"

Ayansh clenches his jaw, the meaning behind Rahul's words scalding him, making his heart thud in revolt or realisation or disappointment or helplessness, he didn't know.

"I had fucking told you not to fall in love with her!"

"I'm not in love with her!" The response is quick, matching the intensity of the shout, his eyes snap to look at his brother, glaringly.

Rahul stares back blankly, his hands resting on his hips and then, he laughs, bitterly, scornfully. "Are you denying me or yourself?" He mocks and takes a step towards Ayansh. "Should've never asked you anything because you're nothing but a disappointment." He sneers, shoving his shoulder.

Ayansh's hands curl into fists, his eyes burning, his whole body shaking mildly with indignation. "Saying it again, I'm not in love with Inaaya." He enunciates.

Rahul's gaze drifts to the frame in Ayansh's hand. "The pictures say otherwise." He suggests coldly. "And if not love then what it is? She's in love with you and you're going to break her heart?" He cocks a brow, lips curving into a smirk, taunting Ayansh.

"No." Ayansh manages to speak. "It's just attraction and that will fade away. That's it. And I'm- ," he takes a deep breath to steady his wavering voice, "I'm not going to break her heart."

Rahul crosses his arms across his chest and tilts his head. "And how so?"

He exhales sharply, looking behind Rahul. He had no idea how he would do it but he knew he would. He won't, he can't hurt her. "You don't have to bother about that." He meets his eyes. "I just know I don't want be part of whatever this sick, stupid revenge is that you want from her father by hurting her. I don't care. You might have genuine reasons for doing so but Inaaya has nothing to do with it. She doesn't deserve to suffer." He says sternly, looking straight into the raging eyes that were angered and equally stunned to watch Ayansh, the naive, shy brother speaking up, defying him.

Rahul scoffs and the hatred in it makes Ayansh wince. "She had done it that day and she's doing it again. I'm sure she was the reason I lost the deal, the project years back, she's the reason why Dad was disappointed in me, why I felt humiliated, why I still hear about that one failure even after achieving so much after that, why for the first time in my life, I didn't win. I don't know what she did or how she did, I don't care but I'm sure it's her. She was present there with her Dad and I want them to go through what I went through. I want them to be hurt, to experience emotional pain, I want his Dad to feel disappointed in her for trusting the wrong person, I want her to be heart broken."

Ayansh had known all this but this time the words make his gut churn, make the bile rise up his throat. He wonders how was he even fine with agreeing to his brother's wish when he said yes. What was wrong with him? Why wasn't he capable of feeling this intense emotions that he's feeling right now at that time? Why months back these exact words didn't make him want to spew venom at his brother, tell him how ugly he was, drill in his head how sick and pathetic this whole thing was and laugh at how childish he was being for holding a grudge against a girl for years.

"It's been years, Bhai." Ayansh sighs, tiredly. "Not worth it. Let it go. Just- " he shrugs and his shoulders slump.

"Don't give me that look." Rahul's expression hardens and Ayansh's forehead creases in confusion. "The pity look. Don't!" He shakes his head. "And if you think I'm the one who's being pathetic then you're wrong because it's you who's pathetic." He spats out. "If you don't want to be part of my plan, if you don't love her even then why are you still with her? Why are you leading her on and if you aren't then why aren't you telling her the truth?"

His lips part, his breathing laboured as the words penetrate him, wound him, scare him. The impact of everything that he had been avoiding hitting him for the first time so strongly, suffocating him till the point where he couldn't see anything but the truth. "I'm not leading her on." His voice shakes as he speaks. "I'm not in love with her." His voice pitches higher. "I've spent a lot of time together with her. It's natural you grow fond of each other. It's just li- liking." His voice breaks.

Rahul chuckles mirthlessly. "So what are you going to do? Tell her the truth or.... should I tell her about it?"

"No." His head jerks up. "No, you won't do that." He glares at his brother in warning.

I trust you Ayansh. Infact, I trust you the most. I know you won't break it.

Ayansh shakes his head. He can't tell her the truth.

"Who is more important to you? Me or her?" Rahul asks, his eyes narrowing into slits and assessing him.

There's a moment of silence before he answers. "I wouldn't have agreed to do what you wanted if you weren't important to me." Hurt laces his tone as the realisation again hits him that he'll never get the love that he craves for, that he's foolish to be holding onto a non existent thread of hope.

"And yet here you're backing out." Rahul points out.

Ayansh feels drained. His chest hurts. His thoughts a haze. Nothing makes sense inspite of everything being in front of him clearly. He's being forced to make a choice which he doesn't want to. He turns to leave when Rahul's voice stops him.

"The conversation isn't over. I'm not letting it go so soon."

Ayansh walks out of Rahul's room.

After reaching his room, he locks it from inside, walks towards his wardrobe and pushes the frame in his hand somewhere between the pile of clothes without giving it a second glance. He throws himself on the bed, face down on the pillow and screams. He screams for being a fool, for coming this far, for making wrong decisions in desperation, for being a coward to not tell the truth, for being selfish to not make a choice because he wants his brother and Inaaya and everything in between. He screams for being so starved for a drop of love and acceptance, validation and care that he feels disgusted with himself. And the pillow muffles it all, absorbs it all.

Liking he can handle, love he cannot.

Not when the whole thing started with him lying. Not when he initially thought it was okay to hurt her for his brother. Not when she was going to leave the country next year and never return. Not when he's sure it's just attraction from his side. What is love even? He doesn't know, he can't describe. He has never experienced it. He is an amateur. How does one know they're in love? He was in a relationship, he thought that was love but it wasn't. He moved on quickly, the break-up didn't hurt. Meanwhile Inaaya has parents who love her unconditionally, a brother who dots on her. What can he give her? Someone who has lived his life craving for love, the only love he has received is his grandparents love as a kid and then they left him, opening a void which he doesn't know how to be filled.

They're doomed. Everything will be good for a fleeting moment and then it will end, it has to end. It's better if they stop. The more they delay, the more entangled they'll be. And knowing that after few months, they both will go their separate ways, it's not worth it. He'll stay away from her. Yes, that's it. He'll stay away. They need to get detached. It's better for both of them.

Inaaya hugs him when they meet in the evening the next day. Ayansh lightly pats her back a couple of times in reciprocation. She understands it might be due to the awkwardness he must be feeling as their friends were also present and moves back, giving him a warm, easy smile. They were meeting after three days since they went on that little trip. Everyone had gathered because Neha was given the responsibility of arranging the New Year party at her workplace and she needed ideas, help.

"Did you receive my gift?" Inaaya whispered as they walked in.

Ayansh gave a small nod which made Inaaya stop and look at him with apprehension.

"Didn't you like it?"

Ayansh turned his face to her; the expectations, the worry, the fear, the slight dejection swimming in her eyes, tugging at his heartstrings. He swallowed inaudibly, his hands reaching out to hold hers as if they had a mind of their own. "I loved it," he murmurs, feeling terrible that he hadn't even spared a proper glance at the gift, "it's beautiful."

A relieved smile breaks on her face, fuelling that ugly feeling within Ayansh more. How much more did he have to lie to make her happy and not hurt her? "I'm glad you liked it." She says with a newfound excitement. "I've been working on it by sacrificing my sleep for last two nights."

Ayansh's brows shot up. "You did that?"

"Of course!" She says, mildly offended. "Arranging the Polaroid pictures of us together wasn't obviously tough but collecting and making little notes of quotes from the books you've read and writing them down in an artistic handwriting was a tad bit time consuming." She scrunches her face adorably.

Something warm and overwhelming floods his chest at that information. "I didn't think you were artistic." He comments playfully, surprised and that draws out a chuckle from Inaaya.

"Miracles do exist." She whispers in a low voice and waggles her eyebrows, looking at him with stars in her eyes.

Before he could respond or think anything, Neha starts to pull Inaaya away. "Why are you still standing? We don't have the whole day. I need your help."

Miracles do exist.

Ayansh watches Inaaya being pulled away, her hand gliding over his till it slips away completely, leaving him standing alone.

Miracles do exist.

A shiver racks down his spine, his breathing becoming difficult as the words ring in his ear. His eyes follow the sight of the woman responsible for the havoc within him, hoping that like always she'll also be the one who calms it. He quietly walks towards the table and takes the seat opposite her, beside Kabir. He watches her chatting and laughing on Dhruv's one-liners alongwith Neha, Alisha and Nikita. She looks happy, so happy. A smile is the prettiest thing a girl can wear and she's the epitome of it.

The waiter came, took their order, left.

Ayansh had his gaze transfixed on Inaaya. Alisha and Nikita noticed but they didn't say anything as if they expected this and maybe they did considering Inaaya had told them that she confessed. Inaaya was aware of his eyes on her and when her obsidian orbs found his hazel ones, she acknowledged them, gave him a smile before going back to the conversation happening. Dhruv teased him a couple of times and he simply rolled his eyes and dismissed him. Neha, Kabir, Dhruv didn't know about the trip or Inaaya's confession but they didn't need to know. Everything was way too obvious since so long. It didn't have to be explicitly spelled out.

She laughed, he smiled. Her eyes twinkled, his world came alive. She spoke with zeal, warmth seeped into his veins. She looked awed, his heart fluttered.

"Hey!"

Ayansh's attention was diverted with Kabir calling him, nudging his shoulder. He raised his eyebrows in question.

"What's going on?" Kabir questions simply.

"What?" Ayansh replies after a pause, puzzled.

He chuckles softly. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Ayansh stares, his face void of any decipherable emotion. He doesn't deny because denying would mean contradicting his statement where he had said he fell for her at first sight. "Wasn't I the whole time?" He asks instead and Kabir visibly let's out a sigh and shakes his head.

"You might have been attracted to her at that time. It wasn't love." He responds, emphasizing on the last word.

"What changed?" Ayansh mumbles, partly curious, partly nervous.

His gaze shifts to Inaaya sitting in front of them and Ayansh follows his line of sight. "The way you look at her," he starts and a heavy feeling stirs inside Ayansh, "like she could walk right into hell and you would still follow her willingly even without her asking you to."

Ayansh clasps his hands below the table tightly as dread settle within him, shaking his entire core. His jaw tightens. It's like the more he chooses to not believe it, deny it, the more the truth slaps across his face, imprints itself on his soul, mocks him, plays with him. Kabir doesn't say anything more and Ayansh is grateful to be left alone.

Inaaya waits for everyone to move ahead when they stand up to leave after a while. She comes beside Ayansh and interlocks their little finger. She looks at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

He blinks. "What happened to me?" He tries to keep his tone light.

"You know you can count on me if something is bothering you."

He stares at her, his chest tightening at the amount of care she carries for him whilst he's thinking of how to get away from her for forever. He forces a smile and hopes she buys it. "I'm just a little exhausted. Work has been taxing off late. Nothing more."

The displeasure on her face is enough to let Ayansh know she isn't convinced but he doesn't say anything ahead. He notices Alisha coming towards them with an annoyed expression.

"Let's go." He tells Inaaya, pointing in Alisha's direction.

Inaaya huffs as he pulls them towards the exit.

"Lovebirds, you can't make everyone wait to have your sweet time." Alisha breathes out, glaring at the two.

A flash of amusement passes through Ayansh's eyes and he turns his head to look at Inaaya who looks unaffected.

"Sorry." Inaaya mumbles and guilt pinches his insides for being the reason behind her sour mood.

They cross the road to where their vehicles were parked. Suddenly Inaaya stops, her eyes going wide.

"Wait," she shrieks. "I forgot my clutch in the restaurant. I'll be back in a moment."

"Fast." Alisha says.

She untangles her finger from Ayansh's finger and walks back to the restaurant as he stands, looking at her retreating figure. She heaves a breath of relief when she walks in and finds her clutch lying on the seat untouched. Grabbing it and shooting a smile at the waiter who noticed her, showing him her clutch, she walks out.

It all happens so quick, in a blink, in a heartbeat. One moment she was there, walking towards him, trying to reach him and the next moment, everything froze as a scream of her name left his lips, piercing, echoing, numbing. It's like the world stilled for a brief moment, his heart stopped beating and then, everything resumed except the two people. Ayansh stood rooted in his place, Inaaya stood stranded, too shocked to move as the person whose bike almost hit her, drives away. Some shouts of maybe their friends trying to stop the biker resonates in the background. Some more shouts of her name being called reaches his ears, his eyes watch as her friends circle her alongwith a couple of unknown people, probably asking if she's fine.

A moment passes before he finds in himself to take a couple of steps forward and when she's on the side of road, looking calm and not shocked enough as the impact of whatever happened washes over her and drains away, he pulls her by her arms and tucks her in his chest, his grip firm and secure, scared and vulnerable. Her tense body relaxes in his arms, a shaky breath escaping her, her nimble fingers fisting his shirt. His one hand come over her head, protectively and his other hand around her waist pulls her even closer if that was possible, eliciting a gasp from her.

"I'm fine." She murmurs in her soft voice and he buries his face in her hair.

Kabir comes near them, his hand reaching out to hold Ayansh's arm. "Breathe. She's okay." He assures him.

Ayansh doesn't pay heed, his hand brushing her hair in gentle strokes. "Are you hurt?" He questions and the tremble in his voice make Inaaya ache for him.

"I'm fine." She replies, nuzzling the crook of his neck, trying to ease him.

He pulls away slowly, his forehead resting on hers, his hand going around her neck, his thumb coming to rest on her carotid artery, feeling the pulse beneath as his eyes fall close and he sighs. Everything that he feared came crashing down but this time, he didn't try to run away from them. Because the realisation hit him that no fear was bigger than the fear of losing her.

"You can stop struggling."

The faint voice in his head murmurs and he gives in.

Ayansh opens his eyes and looks at her, a wave of relief again coursing through him to see her safe and sound. "I thought I lost you." He rasps out.

Inaaya's heart squeezes at the enormous amount of emotions hitting her at that statement. Her fingers circle his wrists and she whispers, "you won't lose me."

Miracles do exist.

And finally, something that he had been carefully avoiding since days slams into him. In that moment, staring into the endless ocean of midnight in her eyes, feeling her beats on his skin, the proof of her being alive and looking at him tenderly, he knew what she meant to him. He realised how important she was to him. He understood he didn't want to lose her. If there was something he would want to keep with him for the rest of his life, it would be her.

And that knowledge terrified him even more than anything.

"Be safe." He says solemnly and brushes his knuckles over her cheek and backs away. Staring at her for a few more seconds, he exhales deeply and walks to his car.

Inaaya looks at him bemused, baffled by his reaction.

"I think he's a little shaken up." Dhruv says. "We must give him some time."

Everyone agrees and Inaaya nods her head vaguely, watching Ayansh's car pull away from them until it was out of their sight.

Maybe you're looking for love at the wrong places.

Her words from their conversation from that night comes back to him and he understood what they meant. He was looking for love around him when it was right there in front of him, in the form of her. After driving for a decent distance, he stops the car at a corner and throws his head back, closing his eyes and gripping the steering wheel firmly, needing a moment to let the overwhelming emotions pass over him, seep into him to his very bones.

She was his miracle, she was the one he loved.

And it was nothing like his grandmother had described it to him yet it was. It wasn't dreamy, like a fairytale moment. The realisation dawned on him when she might have merely escaped death. He wasn't ready. It didn't sweep him off his feet or take his breath away in an exhilarating way. Instead, it knocked the breath out of him. But it was the truth.

Ayansh Mehra was in love with Inaaya Rai.

And he didn't know what to do with it.

***

Writing this chapter while listening to the song mentioned in the start gave me all the buzz uff. If you liked the chapter, do vote and maybe even post a little comment :) ❤️ HAPPY AUGUST 🦋

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