Chapter 6. Whisper

Published on 30.04.2022

| AUTHOR'S POV |

It has been a few days since Ayansh last saw Inaaya at the library. He didn't visit the library since then, fearing that he might bump into her again. Everytime he went out, he just wished he doesn't come face to face with her.

Neha, Kabir and Dhruv are sitting in the living room alongwith Ayansh in his house playing cards. The butler comes and serves them snacks and juice. They sit on the couch and eat while chatting.

"So you met her at the library?" Kabir says excitedly.

"Yeah. I already told y'all." Ayansh said in a bored manner. He didn't only want to avoid Inaaya but also everything related to her and that also included the conversation regarding or surrounding her.

"And he also told us that he isn't chasing her anymore so stop pestering him." Neha warned her boyfriend, aware that it was futile.

"I thought that you really loved her. How can you give up so soon?" Kabir asked with a pinch of sarcasm in his tone.

Ayansh made a tsk sound. "And that's exactly why I don't want to force her. She told she isn't interested. We all clearly saw how offended she was. I don't want to hurt her more." He replied with conviction.

Dhruv decided to speak up. "When you two met in the library, she was nice to you. We can take that as a progress. You can try to become friends with her. Stop being so paranoid Ayansh." He reasoned out.

"I feel Dhruv is right." Rahul, Ayansh's brother who accidentally happened to hear their conversation said.

Ayansh stiffened.

Rahul came and took a place beside Ayansh on the couch, throwing an arm around his shoulder. Ayansh's friends shared tense glances amongst them. As far as they'd observed, Rahul wasn't the most friendliest of brother. If he saw Ayansh, he would spare a look at him or at the most ask how was his day and Ayansh would reply with 'fine' or 'good'. So Rahul doing anything other than that was surprising, baffling even.

"You know about Inaaya?" Neha asked.

"Ofcourse." Rahul said confidently. "I was the first one with whom he shared this."

"I didn't know you were this close to him." Neha blurted out and Dhruv and Kabir turned their faces and glared at her. "I- I didn't mean in that- "

"It's alright." Rahul shot her a reassuring smile. "What I was saying is Dhruv is right. Ayansh," he turned his head to face his brother, "you actually shouldn't give up. Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's what the destiny wants."

Ayansh didn't say anything back. Instead, he just stared pleadingly.

"I oppose." Neha interrupted. "The way the girl had behaved, what she had said was terrible. Ayansh deserves way better than that."

"And the way she behaved in the library?" Dhruv cocked a brow. "You do realise that she was the same girl?"

"And?" Neha mimicked his expression. "That doesn't change anything. She didn't even have the courtesy to apologise."

"One second," Rahul intervened. "What happened at the library?" He looked at them and then Ayansh.

"Nothing. We were just arranging books." Ayansh said quickly.

"She asked about his hand too." Kabir filled in and Ayansh gritted his teeth.

"Look, she was concerned." Rahul said looking at Neha and especially Ayansh in a suggestive way.

"Or maybe just guilty." Neha said pointedly.

"Neha, you can't hold people's actions against them for such a long time. It's fine. She has moved on. We must too." Kabir explained and earned a eye roll in return.

"She didn't have the decency to say a sorry? You, Dhruv and Ayansh apologised for their mistakes. She should've done that too." She said firmly. "I'm telling you she's trouble."

"Maybe she's worth the trouble." Rahul said calmly and smirked.

Dhruv chuckled. "Maybe. But on an honest note, Ayansh, I really think you shouldn't go down without a fight."

"It will work out, trust me." Rahul said.

Ayansh stared at him for a few seconds contemplating his decision and then gave a small reluctant nod.

Everyone except Neha and Ayansh were exhilarated.

~

Ayansh didn't know where to go. So he came to the supermarket. He didn't want to have a one-on-one conversation with his brother after his friends left. So he too left the house making an excuse.

Now, with a cart in his hand which has two big packets of maggie, he has been roaming in the supermarket for half an hour like an idiot.

He wished he could go back to Cambridge. Life is so weird. When he was in Cambridge, he wished he could be in India, at home but now, he wished he could be anywhere but here. He was happy to be back up until a few weeks. Up until the moment he didn't collide with a girl who was in hurry and had no sense of her surroundings, was focused completely on the phone call and happened to drop her handkerchief. Life was fine till that moment too but then he had an enlightenment that he had fallen head over heels in love with the same girl. Love at first sight.

Mess. That's what he was currently. There were choices in front of him and he was a mess not unable to figure out which choice he should make, which decision he should take. If it was in his power, he would've walked jumping over both but it wasn't. He wasn't that strong enough. He wasn't strong enough to choose himself and in that process end up hurting others. He wasn't strong enough to turn his back on the silver of hope that he could see after years. But he also wasn't brave enough to do something that his conscience didn't support, that he knew will make him hate himself.

Someone tapped on his shoulder. Or rather something tapped on his shoulder. Ayansh turned his head only to look into the questioning gazes of the person he has been trying to avoid the most. He instantly faced his front. Inaaya pulls back the box of incense sticks and keeps it back in her cart. She moves past him and stands in front of him.

"So it was really you?" She says in acknowledgement but he avoids meeting her eyes. "I thought I saw you twice but wasn't entirely sure if it's you. I thought maybe you're stalking me but now I feel as if you're avoiding me. What's going on? Somedays, you're stalking me and somedays you're escaping me- "

"I wasn't stalking you." He says quickly in defense. "I never stalked you again after I confessed. I didn't know it was you in the library neither did I knew that you would be here at this time. No need to give yourself so much importance." Ayansh rambles. He immediately regrets saying the last line when he notices her wince slightly and he's sure he would've missed that movement if he had as little as even blinked.

Inaaya on the other hand doesn't let any emotion show on her face. She wanted to smile frankly. As much as she hates to admit, she felt guilty for her actions especially after realising how considerate Ayansh had been in the library. It wasn't some grand gesture by him but it was enough to make her feel petty to find it so difficult to utter a simple apology for spilling the coffee on him intentionally and burning his hand. She didn't understand what was different when it came to him. Usually, she doesn't hesitate to apologise for her mistakes, she isn't shy to admit she was wrong but with Ayansh, it's harder. So much harder. So him behaving rude with her makes things easy weirdly. It's like the weight of guilt has been lifted off her conscience and they're equal now.

Inaaya simply shrugs her shoulders and walks away with her cart.

"Shit." Ayansh mutters under his breath. He isn't the rude kind of person. He isn't someone who snaps at others. But he was in a bad mood and coincidentally the person behind it was in front of him and he somehow ended up venting out at her and as a consequence, he feels terrible after saying to himself that he doesn't want to offend her anymore. He can't bring himself to be on her bad side anymore.

He goes behind her with his own cart. Inaaya notices that he's following her and she frowns. She stops abruptly, waiting for him to reach her by skimming through the crowd.

When he reaches her, she holds up a finger. "If you're here to say sorry, then don't." She says firmly but there was no anger in her voice.

"But I want to." Ayansh says desperately and Inaaya feels this to and fro between them is childish. She wants to yell and tell that he doesn't need to because she isn't mad and also, she doesn't want to apologise back but she knows how stupid her reasoning sounds too so she lets him speak. "I- I..... ," Ayansh tries to find the perfect words, "I just wasn't having a very good day." He completes and the realisation struck how he had said the exact words that she had said to him when he confessed his so called feelings.

Inaaya stares at him intently and he gulps under her stare.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles and turns to leave.

She grits her teeth. She was about to leave too when he turns back and desperate plea escapes his lips and he says, "stop".

And she does.

"Don't move please." He says in a small voice and she looks at him puzzled. She waggles her eyebrows in question.

Ayansh takes a step towards her and her whole body goes tense. He's still a good number of steps away from her yet she feels as if she needs to step back but somehow finds herself rooted to her spot.

"Is the girl behind me in red still there?" He asks, his voice low so that only she could hear him.

Inaaya goes on her toes and looks over his shoulder to see the person he's referring to.

"She is." She whispers back. "Is she your girlfriend?"

Ayansh looks mortified at that question. "Are you out of your senses?" He then shakes his head. "She's someone from my college. If she sees me, she'll initiate some conversation which I surely don't want to be a part of."

Inaaya shot him a bewildered look. "For this silly reason, you're hiding as if your life is at stake?" She holds back her temper as she speaks to him.

"I also haven't replied to her messages and she has tried to reach out so many times. I can't face her." He says desperately. "I know it's silly but it is what it is. I'm awkward with people and I'm more awkward with them at conversing."

That admission makes her surprised. "And yet you'd the nerve to tell you like me when I didn't even know your name?" She asks amusedly and he clenches his eyes shut in embarrassment. "She's walking in this direction." Inaaya warns suddenly and hastily Ayansh turns so he's facing the rack that has sanitary napkins stocked on it.

Without thinking, he grabs one pack and holds beside his head. Inaaya finds it funny. She wants to laugh at how disoriented he's behaving but she stifles her giggle and turns to face the rack.

"Is she gone?" Ayansh asks again, his voice fearful.

Inaaya glances from the corner of her eyes and sees she's right behind Ayansh. "No, she's picking up things."

Ayansh lets out a defeated sigh.

"I really feel she might have noticed you avoiding her." Inaaya murmurs.

He frowns. "Then she would've approached me. But she hasn't, so she hasn't noticed me."

Inaaya feels like snatching away the pack that's between her and him so she could look and glare at him. "Maybe she has something known as self-respect and since you've been not so subtle in masking how badly you want to avoid her, she feels it's better to act ignorant." She says sarcastically and looks behind to see if the girl in red is still there or not. She really doesn't understand why she's actually standing here and being an active participant of whatever clownery is going on. It's chaotic and stupid and funny and frustrating.

"I may not have been subtle but I believe I've been successful in my- "

"Listen," Inaaya stops him from speaking, "she's gone. And I'm done too. So it's upon you if you want to stop behaving like a scared kitten and get out of here or if you want to continue whispering with your pack of whisper." She says annoyedly and walks away with her cart to the lane.

Ayansh keeps the pack of sanitary napkin back in its place and huffs. The sense of relief he feels that he escaped a possible conversation with someone is overpowered by the irritation he feels by Inaaya at that moment. He hasn't been able to decode her yet. It isn't like he has known her for years but still it's like he doesn't even know what's real about her and what's not. At one moment, it feels like she's nice and friendly and then next moment she seems like the rudest person you could encounter. Rudest because she's rude without any freaking reason! Not to forget that she neither apologized nor thanked him and both are overdue.

Ayansh blows out a breath. He thinks he can do it. Make a choice, take a decision. Humans are selfish so shouldn't he too be allowed to be a little selfish to not want to let the hope leave his life just like that. He can try. It isn't that bad, it can't be that bad. It's wrong, definitely wrong but he just hoped the consequences would be manageable, not too severe.

There must be a reason afterall that fate brings them together again and again even though they don't want to?

He hoped he wouldn't end up regretting although he has a feeling that he probably would. Yet he still risks everything, he still risks himself.

***

Hope everyone is doing well. I've my finals from next week so the next update will probably be on the next weekend. But it's going to be long and from Inaaya's pov and I'm excited about it. This story needs time to develop, you'll come to know more about the characters as the story progresses so please be patient and supportive. Love to all :)

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