4

Timothy was having a hard time. more than a hard time actually - he was a nervous wreck ball. His father informed him that the meeting was rescheduled for about two weeks from now, meaning he had less time to prepare and he had to fully immerse himself in organising his presentation while neglecting everything else. He came early at morning, left late at night, closing himself in his office and getting out only to eat something light or go to the bathroom. He put on hold any meetings he had or plans, letting his secretary and workers take care of everything, he trusted them enough for that. However for his main mission of impressing Archibald Carmichael, he trusted no one but himself to come up with the ideas and execute them.

Everything had to be perfect.

"Shit! " Timothy cursed as his laptop shut off. He forgot to charge it. again. "Shit! Shit! Shit! " he muttered again and again, his breath coming out ragged. He was so stressed.

He pressed a button on the telephone on his desk.

"Yes boss?" He didn't even feel like correcting her.

"Alicia my laptop shut off, can you please bring me yours? "

He asked while his fingers fumbled, looking for a pen on his disorganised desk. where was it? he put it right there!

"I'll bring it "

"Thanks " Timothy muttered and the call disconnected. He groaned in frustration at the mess of papers on his desk, where the hell did he put his pen? damn!

"God, I'm losing it, " he shook his head "Calm down you moron " he took a deep breath and counted to ten before letting it out, he repeated the action until a knock on the door interrupted him.

"Come in!"

Alicia opened the door to his office, carrying her laptop, she smiled but her eyes were worrying.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked but he shook his head. She turned to leave but hesitated before spinning around to face him again. "I'm worried about you Timothy "

"I'm fine" he shrugged and skimmed through his papers. "No, you're not. You're overdoing it, working yourself to exhaustion! You have dark circles around your eyes, when was the last time you slept? "

"Last night " he answered shortly while rolling his eyes.

"I meant more than three hours! "she glared at him. He sighed. "It's just an hectic period of time, once the meeting with Mr Carmichael would be over I'll be back to my usual self. For now I have to endure and make sure the material we'd present him would be perfect and nothing less." Timothy hoped she'd leave him be now and let him focus back on work, he appreciated her concern but he didn't have time to deal with it right now .

"I understand that, believe me and I want you to know we all support you but for that meeting you need to look presentable, right now you barely look human. "

She had a point. Timothy looked like shit -Dark circles around his eyes, pale face, wild scruff that needed taming and he probably needed an haircut too and when exactly was the last time he ate?

Fuck. He was a mess. The cool facade he always maintained cracked and shattered due to stress.

Just... What the hell am I doing? . He thought. With a sigh he lifted his eyes to meet her.

"Thanks Alicia. Can you please make an appointment at Pedro's, I need an haircut. " she nodded and smiled before leaving his office.

"I'm a mess " he murmured to himself. He was good at what he did, he brought pride to the firm, he was successful. So what the hell scared him about the upcoming meeting with Carmichael? he was sure of himself and his abilities, he had experience and knowledge and to be honest despite the fact that it was THE Carmichael that he had to persuade to sign, He wasn't shaken by that. Timothy was truly afraid of the outcome if he did fail. No , he didn't care about losing who could possibly be their biggest client - it wasn't about profit. He was scared of how his father would take it. To say he didn't fail in the past in convincing potential clients to sign would be a lie , but none of them was as major and important to his father as Carmichael. What would happen if he failed? His father's health wasn't good since that damned day back then when Timothy...

With the way his father was engaged in the firm, losing Carmichael could cause him some serious stress and Timothy didn't want that. His Father was already excited because of the meeting and Timothy's mom reprimanded him it was bad for his health but of course he didn't listen to her. He listened to no one but himself. He never listened...

Timothy decided to go home for today. He gathered himself and left the disarray of his office. He needed a break. Alicia was right. What good would it be to him to come prepared to the meeting but with no presentable appearance? first impressions had a lot to do with decision making - if he came to the meeting looking like he is now it could severely harm his chances. They would see a man who's incapable of getting a grip of himself when confronted with a challenge.

And he definitely didn't want that.

"Lizzy?" he called  as he entered the house,  silence  greeted him. She was probably out shopping or meeting with friends. He liked those brief moments of being alone, he felt more... free - his house was supposed to be his comfort and safe zone but most  times it felt like a cage to him. He wanted to live his life  freely,  to make his own choices selfishly without having to worry of how the results would affect others. To begin  with he didn't  want nor need such a big house, a small apartment would suffice, somewhere at the outskirts of the city, away from all the ruckus. And he'd like to have a dog too. or a cat. no, definitely a dog. Lizzy didn't like pets so getting one now wasn't possible. Most of all he'd like to have the apartment all to himself,  no Lizzy, no parents  to drop by, no anyone.

Timothy paused.

Well maybe someone to share the apartment with, maybe a man, just maybe...

He couldn't help but laugh as he hurried up the stairs to the bedroom, fishing out a change of clothes from the closet and heading to the nearby bathroom.

What a masochist...

He thought of himself miserably.  what good would it do to let such  thoughts cloud his mind? he better wipe them out.

Once he got in the shower,  he let the warm water relax his muscles, he inhaled  deeply the scent of the soap  he applied,  sighing in content and massaging his sore and stiff body. It felt good. His hand dropped to his member, at first with the intent of soaping but the undeniable urge of getting  release hit him hard. His cock twitched in his hand as it rapidly gained hardness as blood rushed down. Soon he was stroking his full erection, his hand sliding up and down in a gentle grip of himself. Low moans fell from his lips as he pleasured himself.

"God..."

He mumbled in state of lust, his other hand coming to the aid of the other in stroking himself. He worked himself towards orgasm and stopped at the edge only to begin once again, teasing himself. He closed his eyes, his mind looking for a material to make this masturbation more pleasurable for him. A certain image flickered in his mind.  Dark Grey eyes watching him intensely, a seductive smirk and a firm body pressing against his own.

Timothy let the relatively fresh  memories of his last encounter ignite his body in a flame of desire. Of course that man turned out to be an asshole but it didn't contradict  the fact  he was sex on legs and using  him as a masturbation material wouldn't harm.

Timothy imagined the man pressing behind him, rubbing his own arousal against  Timothy's  rear . He let one of his hands slide up his body to pinch one perked nipple and then the other one, switching between them while imagining they were the rough big hands of his phantom lover.

From there it didn't take long to reach climax and spill on the wall, the stream of water cleaning the mess immediately.

More calm, he got out of the shower and dressed quickly for bed. He sighed in content as the bed dipped under his weight.

Tomorrow is a new day. He decided,  determined before sleep took him.

__________________________________

Timothy walked down the hallway with his hands in the pockets of his blazer. All classes already started so he was pacing alone, aimlessly. His thoughts were in chaos due to last night's events. He didn't think coming out would be that easy, hell he expected yelling and curses and what not aimed towards him, but he didn't  expect  that . He was prepared for anything else! to be thrown out, to be disowned, to be hated...

But of all worst case scenarios that could've been born from him coming out , it had to be the one thing that he didn't prepare for, that he didn't know how to deal with, that he was helpless and not ammuned against.

His father collapsing .

He wanted to stay with him but his mother forced him to go to school today, for his own sake she said but he knew better. She didn't  want him near her husband and she certainly didn't want rumors to spread as to why Timothy that didn't miss a single day in his life , didn't show up. Appearances were everything.

Timothy just wanted  to find a corner and curl there, away from everything and everyone.  Sure, his father was strict and reserved,  but the last thing he wanted was for him to be harmed. What if he didn't recover? What would Timothy do then? he couldn't lose his father! he loved him!

"God it's all my fault! "

The harsh realisation hit him. His eyes stung  as tears threatened to fall from them. He wouldn't forgive himself if his father wouldn't make it because of him.

Timothy continued to pace the  hallways,  he just couldn't face anyone right now and most  certainly concentrating on his  classes wasn't possible at his fragile state.

He started to turn to another hallway when suddenly he was grabbed from behind and dragged to an empty classroom, his back slammed to the door .

A pair of lips pressed to his own, taking his breath away  with the sudden assault as they firmly moved against his own. The kiss was cut abruptly.

"Where were you? It's not like you to skip classes,  I'd say it's my thing "

Timothy stared at the smirking boy that pinned him to the door with his body. He was beautiful.

A cold pang pierced his heart, he pushed against the boy's chest.

"Seth that's enough" he murmured weakly.

"Trying to play hard to get huh? " Seth grinned and attempted to kiss Timothy again only to have him turn his head.

"Come on, what's with you? you know you want it".

"Stop, please " Timothy tried again but it was hard resisting as Seth latched onto his neck, nipping on his skin.

Timothy closed his eyes and let out a moan.

The image of his father collapsing painfully flashed in front of him.

"Enough! "

He pushed Seth, knocking him to the floor.

"What the fuck? " Seth winced and got to his feet. "what's wrong with you?" he demanded.

Everything  "Nothing, I'm just tired... of you". Timothy  averted his eyes.

Seth blinked. "what? "

"I'm tired of you Seth, I've had enough.  It was fun at the beginning but now I see it's not who I really am" .The words came out as acid from his mouth, Timothy's heart  breaking and shattering to pieces but he had to do that.  It was his fault his father  collapsed, being who he is... It hurt his father's well being.

"Don't give me that shit!" Seth's  features screwed up in anger. "You said you loved me! that you're gonna come out for me! So don't fucking say that shit! I thought--"

"I fucking lied!" Timothy yelled in agony,  Seth gasped silently in shock. "I never really did mean anything from what I said! Did you really  think I'd fall for you? It was just for the sex and well now I'm fucking tired so I'm cutting it here!".

The flying fist to his face was kinda expected but it still hurt, not necessarily physically. Seth stormed out of the class. Timothy let out a sob as tears streamed down his face. He slumped down to the floor in misery, his hand clutching his uniform, just above his chest, it hurt.

That was his first love.