Chapter 124

Rosaline opened her mouth wide. You guys are unreal! The escorts are out for urgent business? Sir Kairo…I didn’t see you like that! Secretary Isserion was being too much as well.

The man’s, whose eyes were lowered and his words were cut off, smile was filled with sadness. The huge, splendid room and this whole castle belonged to Ricardis, but he seemed lonely in this huge space. Rosaline’s heart was filled with emotions she had never felt before. Something that makes one side of the heart feels colder than the sunset sky…

Ricardis brushed the nape of his neck and glanced up at her.

“I’m glad you came.”

Ricardis, who smiled with his head tilted slightly, reflected the pure beauty of a lily of the valley that had survived the cold dawn rain and finally blossomed. Rosaline shivered with overwhelming emotion.

When she barely came to her senses and hesitantly tried to walk to the escort position, Ricardis, who had been lying on the sofa for a long time, stood up and said, “Come here. Don’t stay behind when there’s no one.”

Then he patted the seat beside him. Rosaline knew she would be severely scolded if others caught her: the knight commander, the deputy commander, the assistant deputy commander, and the chief secretary, but she still managed to sit down next to him. Ricardis stared at her face and suddenly smiled. Rosaline felt like her heart had dropped to her feet.

A bright red light came in through a gap in the curtains. The sunset reflected in the glass on the table smeared on the man’s cheek and shone in all natural colors. Rosaline looked at him as if possessed.

“Aren’t you hungry? I think it’s about time you came, so I prepared something in advance.”

On the table, steaks, freshly baked bread and soup, sweet desserts, and various fruits were spread among flowers and candles.

Rosaline noticed the existence of food only when Ricardis recommended it. The food looked delicious, but she couldn’t reach out. She seemed already full from the emotions that filled her heart. Rosaline hesitated, so Ricardis stuffed a grape into her mouth. He smiled as his fingers touched her lips.

For the first time in her life, Rosaline couldn’t taste the food properly and only repeated the actions of putting in, chewing, and swallowing. She couldn’t focus because she was being observed. Or maybe it was because she was paying attention to Ricardis’s gratifying smile. Rosaline seemed to know now what people commonly call “pretending”,

As Rosaline couldn’t eat properly and only chomped down uncomfortably, Ricardis lifted the documents he had left beside her.

“Enjoy comfortably.”

He grinned and reached out to wipe the crumbs from Rosaline’s mouth. It was a friendly touch. While Rosaline stiffened, Ricardis crossed his legs and leaned back on the sofa. The eyes looking at the documents were serious.

A piece of steak, a glance at him. A bite of bread, a glance at him. Rosaline’s eyes move more diligently than her mouth. It was infinitely burdensome when he looked at her, but it was strangely regrettable when his gaze was away. Still, she had the advantage of being able to eat comfortably. Now starting to taste it, Rosaline quickly focused on eating. She finished the meal without leaving a piece of fruit.

Rosaline looked at the man with a sidelong glance. Her hands seemed to be sweating, so she rubbed her palms against each other. Ricardis was reading the papers with his lazy eyes, his head slightly tilted, with his arm resting on the back of the sofa.

His chest rose and fell at a steady rate. Listening to his breathing, she felt like she was about to burst, and her anxious mind calmed down. Rosaline recalled the conversations she had today with several of her colleagues and acquaintances. She had decided to talk about it but hadn’t decided what to tell him yet.

Rosaline turned to face him.

“Your Highness. I want to tell you something, but in case you are busy right now…”

“I’m not busy at all.”

As if he had been waiting, Ricardis threw back the documents in his hand in the same posture as he read them. Several sheets of paper fluttered through the air and landed on the floor.

“The documents…”

“It’s my diary.”

“Oh, it’s your diary.”

She could understand his solemn expression as he read it. Not as much as work, but a diary was also important. Calyx and Raymond told her to write it all the time, so Rosaline had already almost filled the entire book. Thanks to that, her handwriting became prettier as the days passed, and her vocabulary improved. Perhaps Ricardis’ elegant handwriting was also trained in his diary.

“So, what’s going on, Rosaline?”

Ricardis looked at her, placing his fingers on his knees. Rosaline opened her mouth a long time later.

“Prince Haqab has proposed to me.”

Ricardis maintained a friendly look, but thick veins were on the back of his hand.

“Hmm… What did he say? I want to hear as much detail as possible.”

“‘You can always see me in that position if you want. The Hiksala of Balta will worship you at your feet and offer you love forever.’ Then I said I didn’t want to, so he said, ‘I’m not asking you to answer right now. The more paths, the better, so just keep my suggestion in mind. I’m sure one day if you’re still Illavenia, you will be very disappointed.’”

Ricardis snorted. The cold, cynical expression on his face was the same as usual.

“That’s understandable, Rosaline. Can I tell you a surprising fact? I won’t be disappointed no matter what Illevania does. Because with expectations, there must be disappointments. I’ve never had any expectations since entering the imperial family, so there’s nothing to be disappointed about. On the contrary, it is surprising that Haqab brought up the topic of not being disappointed in Illavenia.”

“… Is that possible when you’re…”

The prince of Illavenia?

“What’s not possible? It’s a place I’ve had enough of. Anyway, what else?”

“‘So remember. I said it once in Balta. The door of Livita is open to you.’ He told me again that he was proposing.”

Ricardis covered his mouth and cursed silently. This son of a bitch. Why does it feel like he’s seducing a child by giving her candy…

“I see. That must have been very unpleasant.”

“Yes. It was very unpleasant, but I endured it.”

The quick reply made Ricardis feel a little better. Rosaline rummaged through her pocket and pulled out something. Gold pendant. It had been hanging around her neck just this morning. Ricardis looked at it quietly.

Rosaline’s gaze also wandered to the golden accessory. There was silence for a moment.

“Your Highness.”

“Yes.”

“His Highness Haqab said that he would be your ally if I accept the offer. From His Highness Elpidio, from His Majesty the Emperor. He promised to protect you.”

She paused for a moment. Ricardis waited for Rosaline’s answer. That brief moment made him impatient because he had been waiting since dawn. After a fleeting moment that felt like an eternity, the answer she spat out was neither ‘I will’ nor ‘I won’t’.

“Your Highness, I will always do my best to protect you. But there will come a time when my strength alone will not be enough…I think.”

Rosaline moved her fingers, and the metal flowed along them. Jiggle, jiggle. The sound was unpleasant.

“That will never happen. You can’t say that.”

“People get hurt and die too easily.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

Rosaline struggled to hold back the words she had been holding back but uttered them eventually.

“I’m afraid of that.”

She stared at the necklace in her hand. Even though she had decided to refuse and even let go, Haqab’s offer was still in her hands.

Seeing the fragile and precarious Ricardis suddenly made her uneasy. Her determination to stick close and protect him was mixed with anxiety about whether she could do it. Many people advised and pledged accordingly, but she wasn’t sure. A chill from deep inside her chest made her fingertips feel cold.

“Rosaline.”

Ricardis clasped Rosaline’s hand from the bottom. Rosaline’s hand was placed on Ricardis’ hand, and Haqab’s necklace was placed on top. It was warm from the touch.

“The person I said good morning to yesterday may not be there today. One by one, they disappear, and the people who remembered the disappearing people may be gone the next day. In the end, the only one left tomorrow is me. Pain cannot be shared, so you will have to shoulder it alone. Even death is a welcome pain. Knowing that, I understand your fears. Because those feelings are all that makes me.”

Rosaline seemed to know what Ricardis was talking about. In ‘Rosaline’’s broken memories, Ricardis had only seen people leaving. From when he shed tears of blood to when he looked at the death list calmly. Rosaline was always looking at Ricardis. That’s why his ‘understanding’ touched her even more desperately.

“Losing is close and familiar to us. I’ve been through it, so I know how painful it can be. That’s why I’m afraid and want to avoid it. Am I right?”

Rosaline bit her lip and gave a slight nod.