The Forbidden Talk

I'm bored af dude. Smh 😔😒😞

**~**

Arthur and I decide to go to the Papa Johns in our neighborhood so we can walk. Plus, it's almost eleven and there aren't many options for food open so it's the best decision.

We don't talk. We don't touch. And I can feel him watching me out of the corner of his eye, as I'm sure he can feel me doing the same every now and then. Neither of us says a word and the air is a bit stuffy with awkwardness; it's manageable though because we're out in the open. Arthur seems to be deep in thought too, and I don't feel the need to fill the silence. Instead, I people-watch and enjoy the cool breeze.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Arthur holds the door open for me like a true gentleman but as long as he's still the same Arthur I know, he's itching to smack my butt. The thing is, he doesn't, and that makes a smile slip onto my lips. It makes me wonder why he seems so forward when we're around other people but not so much now that we're alone.

It's practically empty in Papa Johns except for two or three tables.

"Where you wanna sit?" Arthur asks.

The sound of his voice is sudden but the low timbre of it is smooth, like jazz and tea. I tilt my head to show that I hear him but I only respond by leading us to the back of the restaurant. I slide into a one-sided booth that faces the rest of the restaurant. The booth is big enough for five people but I'm sure no one will mind.

Without question, Arthur slides in at the opposite end, his eyes trained on me the entire time. "And here I thought I'd get a chance to pull out a chair for you. I've always wanted to do that." He says the last part under his breath, more to himself, but I hear him. Someone else would let him have that moment to himself but I don't.

"Maybe you will." I shrug.

His answering grin is dazzling. "Yeah?

I press my lips together to stop from smiling. "Mhm." Maybe it won't be so bad.

A second later a petite girl stops next to our booth, breaking our connection.

She's all smiles and welcome which I commend her for having to work at this time of night. "Hi, my name's Emily. Would you like to order?" She asks sweetly. She has a really pretty smile.

"Uh..." I turn to Arthur as he trails off. "You wanna..."

"Sure." I turn my attention back to the brown-eyed blonde who's waiting patiently with a notepad and pen. "Can we have a large Pepperoni and Sausage Pizza-"

"And garlic bread," Arthur cuts me off eagerly.

I stare at him in amusement when he crosses his arms on the table, muttering an apology under his breath. Why is he even apologizing? He's acting so shy and nervous. I'm not used to it but it's so cute.

I bite my lip as the waitress giggles. Arthur smiles at me.

"What about drinks?" Emily asks after jotting down our order.

"I'll have whatever she's having." Arthur nods to me.

"Uuuh- Sprite, please."

"Large, medium..." she trails off in a silent question.

Did she subtly just call me a slur...

"Large," I say after a small moment of hesitation.

She writes that down before looking back up at us with a smile. "That all?" We nod. "Then I'll be right back with your order." She gives us one last smile before turning and walking away.

"So..." Arthur says. My eyes meet his and it takes less than a second for me to see that he's teasing. "Large, huh?" That smirk...

"What are you-" I cut myself off when I realize what he's saying. "Oh, you just had to!" I exclaim, searching for something to throw at him. I settle on a few napkins on the pile in the middle of the table.

He laughs obnoxiously, gathering the stray napkins and tossing them back on the pile messily. "What?" He sobers up and grins at me

I roll my eyes. "You know what." He's back to normal that easily.

His eyes are dancing with mirth as he gets ready to voice one of his smart-mouthed replies. A squeal cuts him off. One that sounds somewhat like his name but I can't be sure.

We hardly have time to process what's happening, or even care, before he's engulfed in a bear hug, his face squished into a girl's cleavage. She lets him go a second later but slides into the booth next to him, forcing Arthur to move farther away when she presses into his side.

I feel my face start to heat up, but not in embarrassment or shyness like it's been all day. Well partially--a very small part--but majority of it is because of the blood boiling under my skin enough to burn everyone in the room. It infuriates me that she would throw herself at him when I'm sitting right here.

"Umm... Lily, I think we should go."

Another girl is standing at the edge of our table. I didn't even notice her until she spoke, that's how mad I am. She looks nervous as she takes in her friend who's practically sitting on my ma-I mean Arthur.

"No, sit down, Dee. I'm just catching up with Arthur for a sec." She waves off her friend. "I haven't seen you all summer, where've you been?" she asks, too excited in my opinion. Leaning forward, I place my elbow on the table and drop my chin in my hand slowly.

"Lily, are you blind!" the friend hisses. This whole conversation is taking place. As if I'm not sitting. right. here. "He's here with someone." She, not so subtly, jerks her head in my direction causing Lily to finally acknowledge my presence. What an honor.

"Oh!" She feigns surprise. "Hi, I'm Lily."

I take in her shiny dark hair, smokey eyes, and spray tan. The look in her eyes is spiteful and sassy, enough for me to want to say nasty things to her.

"Yes, you are," I say with a sarcastic smile. Her smirk flattens.

This is the worst possible time for the waitress to come back with our order, but that's exactly what happens. She's holding two trays, one with our food and the other our drinks. She glances back and forth between the new additions to our booth, lost, but sets our food down on the table once the girl standing moves out of the way.

"There you go. Large pepperoni and sausage, Sprite, and I'll be right back with your garlic bread." She nods at me and Arthur, completely ignoring the other two.

I force a smile onto my lips and send her nod because she's being a darling about this situation. "Thank you."

"No problem." She leaves, taking every bit of normalcy with her.

"Arthur, how about it?" My eyes snap up to her, seeing her reaching toward the pizza in the middle of the table."You don't mind do you?"

Arthur snatches her hand back before I have to, and I exhale. "Look, it's nice seeing you guys again, but I'm kinda busy here." He says, his index finger moving between me and him. It's the only thing keeping my mouth shut, and the fact that he actually doesn't look like it's nice to see them.

Lily looked taken back, maybe a little offended, as if his response isn't one hundred percent valid. I, on the other hand, am too satisfied. If he was closer, I'd kiss him.

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind-" She tries with a dry, cat-strangling laugh that scrapes down my spine.

"Listen," Arthur says, taking her hand from off his arm and giving it back to her. "No one really has a say right now cause I want to eat this pizza with my girl, and her alone."

"I haven't seen you in a while and-"

"And it's been cool, but I have a date and you're intruding." At this point, he's pissed. It's more than I can ask for.

The tension is a stifling bubble that even I have to sit up and press myself back into the cushioning to try and get away from it. I glance around for a window but none of them are close enough to me.

"Oh... okay." She looks utterly flabbergasted--blinking several times as she slips out of the booth, standing next to her friend who's shaking her head in an 'I told you so' way. She then looks over to me and eyes me quite rudely, before walking away.

I'm not sure if they'd been on their way in or out before that happened, but they end up scurrying out of the building.

"Eventful," Arthur retorts on an exhale. I really want to kiss him right now.

I smile, probably giving him heart eyes but I can't help it. "You handled it though," I say softly.

He stares at me intently for a moment, biting the corner of his lip. "It's not that much of a big deal, if anything I took too long to do something. But any man would do that for his girl."

I kinda like being his girl.

**~**

"I went to Germany to see my dad. Business stuff."

I sit up from the slightly damp grass in excitement, staring down at him. "Really?" I whisper, despite the park being totally empty

It's after midnight. I didn't want to go home and Arthur didn't either, so we went for a walk and stopped in a small park along the way. We'd moved from the jungle gym to the grass and are laying on our backs, staring up at the dark sky. There aren't as many stars and we all know why that is. Unfortunate really.

I'd just asked him why I haven't seen him over the summer. I've held on to my curiosity long enough and it awakened after that tragic incident at dinner.

He lets out a chuckle and grins up at me from his spot on the grass. "Really." I give him a look, demanding that he keep talking. "I've told you that I'm half German. My dad's the CEO of one of the leading architectural firms over there. He wants me to take over at some point so I started working with him--he's showing me the ropes and all that. It was basically an internship."

"Wow," is all I can say. I didn't expect all that.

He looks overly amused by this. "You sound surprised. Andrea was supposed to do it, seeing as she's the oldest-"

"What about Adam?" The thought of his older brother is sudden since I haven't seen, spoken to, or thought about him in so long.

"Different dad."

"Ah." No wonder he looks so different.

"Andrea wanted to build something of her own. She doesn't want a hand me down, her words. So yeah, I was the last option. Learned a lot, did a lot. Those suits were fucking horrible." He visibly shudders at whatever he's recalling but only one thing is stuck in my head.

"You wore suits?" I grin, daydreaming about seeing him in a suit. The fabric hugging his lean body. Yum.

He laughs, his entire body shaking, as he takes in my grinning face. "Armani, baby." He winks playfully.

Oh my... I feel a shiver run down my spine. "What else happened?" I ask in a rush, trying to clear my mind.

"Uuuh, drew up some stuff. I want to be an architect anyway, so it was good practice doing it legit. I got some of my stuff approved and a couple of companies wanted to buy em," he says cockily.

I grimace playfully but still feeling a sense of pride for him. "Well congrats, Mr. Arrogant."

He throws his hands up. "What? I'm just saying!" His laugh echoes through the silent park and that's when I realize just how alone we are. "I got them sold for a lot of money. My dad was so proud of me." His smile is a lot more genuine now and I can't hide mine anymore. "Like, I can't believe that I did that, y'know?" He looks over at me, his eyes glinting with all the stars I want to see.

I smile at him, sharing his emotions. I can believe it. I know he can do whatever he wants to, "Yeah."

He turns back toward the sky, his sigh blissful. "I even got into building stuff. I helped with some construction. At first, it was a pain in the ass but I got used to it after a week or two."

I gape at him. "You? You constructed?" I missed months of a sweaty glistening Arthur without a shirt, lifting heavy stuff, and wearing a helmet?

I felt like jumping off a cliff.

He grins. "Pretty fun too. Most of the guys there thought I was a grown man. It was hilarious watching their faces when I told them I was seventeen."

I take deep subtle breaths to calm myself before I can talk again.

"What's your dad like?" I ask softly. He's never talked about his dad before and I'm naturally curious since it doesn't seem like a sore topic.

He smiles. That's a good sign. "He's hardworking that's for sure. He's not so much into his work that he doesn't notice me though. We stayed up nights, with him helping me with my work, suggesting things, and guiding me--giving me advice. He's really patient. He actually cared about what I wanted and tried compromising on other unrelated stuff. He can be fun when it comes down to it." He lets out a low chuckle. "He took me to a club the week before I had to come back." I frown at that. A club? "But we left about five minutes later. He said it felt like he was cheating on my mom and it felt dirty."

"Did you like it?" I ask. He probably did. He's a guy.

He shakes his head. "I'm not really into that stuff anymore. I know that I should be enjoying my senior year since it's my last, but I'm just... I don't know. Not feeling it as much."

"I feel so worthless. I mean, you were working all summer and I was here slacking off, going to meaningless parties and stuff." I actually do feel worthless as I pick at the grass.

If I wasn't so selfish, I would've went to Germany with him and been there when he was up all night working. The thought of just being with him, comforting him when he's sleep-deprived oddly feels nice.

Suddenly my face is between two large hands. I blink up at him with wide eyes. "Grace you're worth everything. It was summer and you were having fun like normal people should. That doesn't mean you're worthless. I've been partying since my freshman year, and what have you been doing? Working. Even if it was schoolwork, it's still working. We just kinda... switched roles." He smiles at me."Both of us are trying out new things which is pretty dope."

"Why do you always make me feel better?"

"Ahh, it's kinda my job." He shrugs, dropping his hands from my face. He pulls his knees up to his chest, resting his arms over them as he holds my gaze.

Suddenly his face clouds over with sadness. I frown, moving closer to him. "Hey, what's wrong?"

His eyes are bouncing around so much that they look like they're dancing. "I know you don't want to talk about this but I have to."

I don't know how, but I immediately know what he was talking about. "Arthur-"

"Let me." He cuts me off. "I know that it still hurts you. Hell, it still fucking hurts me and I never got a chance to say I'm sorry- that's a lie. I had dozens of chances and there's no excuse for why I didn't. But I am, Grace. I'm really sorry." The sincerity molded in his words makes my heart heavy.

"I know you are," I whisper, a knot in my throat. "That's why it didn't matter if you said it or not." But it does matter. I didn't know I've been waiting for him to say it until now.

"It matters to me. I know I acted like a tough guy, I still do, but what I said," he pauses, looking for words to fill in the space, "I didn't mean a word. It's just that when I saw you with him... I-I thought you were gonna leave me. Not that you were even with me to begin with, but... we had something. But I knew you still had feelings for him; so when I saw you looking at him like that," he shook his head, "I thought the girl that I've wanted for years, was going to leave me. Like it was inevitable. I couldn't stand the thought that someday you were gonna go back to him. And I'm so sorry that I said that to you. I know this probably won't change anythi-"

I cut him off by pulling him to me and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. The side of my face presses against his and I feel his arms around my back, pulling me closer. I've never felt so elated.

I know why I'd stayed away from him. The fact that I could be so easily broken was pathetic. By John and then him... At the time, I didn't have much confidence, so when he said that to me, it hurt too much for someone who I'd only known a few short weeks. I thought he'd be the one person I wouldn't have to worry about hurting me like that.

Knowing that, I stayed away from him. I stayed away from dating because I wanted to work on me. I wanted to be able to be happy by myself instead of depending on somebody else to make me happy, to make me feel good. I needed to know who I was and love my body the proper way before letting someone else in to do it. And I did. I don't care if it took me a year because I feel great, and I thank him for that.

"It does," I whisper, my throat tight and my eyes stinging. "It does. Thank you."

His arms tighten around me and buries his face in my neck.