Chapter 29-The Past

A/N: Hey! Quick note! Listen to the song while reading this and if you're wondering where the gif is, just slide to left if you're using the app and click on the white arrow above if you're reading on the website!

***

All Rights Reserved

Chapter 29-The Past

Sydney Carrington's POV

"What do you want to know?"

I glanced up at Brendon quickly before facing my mother. "I think I should get Sean and Sarah-"

"No. You cannot let them know I am still alive." My mother said firmly, her blue eyes narrowed at me. I frowned at her response, "Why not? You are their mother as wel-"

"Sydney! I mean it!" My mother snapped and I recoiled from her tone. I pressed my lips into a thin line as I stared at her. My heart was racing because it seemed that I didn't even know my mom anymore and the fact that what she could say would change everything I knew about my family.

My mother studied me and Brendon before she gripped onto the black cloak she had on. "Were you from the European pack?" Brendon questioned and I watched my mother look at him in slight distaste before nodding her head.

"Yes. Both your father and I were born here. Your father was the beta with Robert Kingston as Alpha. We moved to the North American pack when you were about four years old and Sarah was nine." My mother said quietly as her blue eyes stared at Brendon coldly.

Beside me, Brendon tensed as his father was mentioned and I frowned. "Then why is it that Sarah and I don't remember anything about that?"

My mother sighed, before meeting my gaze. "You see, your dad was a very well liked man. Unlike his father." She paused to give Brendon a sideway glance before continuing.

"That made the Alpha jealous. Of course, everyone knew about his indiscretions and how he mistreated Jalisca Kingston, his mother."

Kingston remained motionless beside me but I could sense where his thoughts were. I reached over to intertwine our fingers together to show that I was here with him. He didn't say a thing but tightened his grip on my hand as if he was drawing strength and comfort from me.

I could feel my mother's intense gaze on our laced hands before she continued, "Jalisca was my best friend and she hated Robert. Long story short, she always confided in me about things in her life. Obviously, Robert didn't like that. His pack preferred his beta-your father-over him and now his mate? But he knew that he couldn't maintain his power and control over the pack without Seth as Beta so he let things stay the same."

I could feel myself tensing and I could see that my mother was starting to choke up before she continued. "It was his brother that made everything change. Another Kingston, Richard Kingston, the younger brother of Robert Kingston was the one who planted the idea of getting rid of our entire family by staging a house fire." She sneered hatefully and paused.

My eyes widened and I could see Brendon swallowing harshly with a blank mask on. Richard Kingston was the very man who was behind Brendon's abuse and I could feel myself shivering with fear at that.

"But Jalisca found out about the plan and she immediately came to warn us. That night, we gave the serum that royals used to erase memories to our children. Because young children would talk and we were on the run for our lives. That is why you and Sarah and him couldn't remember anything from our days in the European pack."

I blinked and swallowed and my jaw worked for a response but I couldn't think of one. I was speechless beyond words. "Not all Kingstons are monsters are they?" My mother taunted with a cold look on her face as she gazed at Brendon and Cara.

"They are not monsters!" I defended fiercely and my mother sniffed distastefully before turning away.

"Everything was fine for five years in the North American pack until that night. Your father was suggesting we go back and things escalated. I'm sure everyone thinks that we got killed in an accident but we were caught by surprise and they shot us. Silver bullets laced with wolfsbane. After, they lit a bus on fire before throwing our bodies into the flames."

I gasped in disbelief and I could feel myself trembling from horror. Brendon remained silent before pulling me into his arms and stroked my back comfortingly.

"I managed to crawl out of the flames but your father didn't make it. He-" My mother cut herself off abruptly as her eyes turned glassy. "He died that night."

I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from breaking down. My gentle, kind loving father had been brutally murdered.

An uncomfortable silence passed and I sat there as Brendon rubbed my shoulders soothingly as he comforted me. I could see that my mother was tense and her blue eyes were glassy with tears.

"Then what happened after? All of us thought you died." I questioned stiffly and my mother pursed her lips before replying, "I left and covered my tracks. I couldn't bear to see you and your siblings. Sarah and Sean look so like him."

"You left us in an orphanage because you didn't want to be reminded of dad?" I demanded as anger swirled in me and I clenched my fists.

My mother glared at me. "Yes. I admit it was a terrible thing for a mother to do. But you would never understand what I lost that night! I lost my entire life!"

Abruptly, I stood up. "You had your children who loved you unconditionally and you didn't even consider them part of your life?"

My mother remained silent before I sighed before speaking up. "Please leave." I said calmly. I was feeling so betrayed and hurt. And all that emotion turned to rage. "Sydney-"

"Get out. Please." I gritted through my teeth and my mother stood up. "Alright then."

I watched as she stood up to leave. My mother turned around and now, she was composed as she looked at me. "I won't say I'm sorry because I know it doesn't mean anything but if you lose him, you would understand."

I frowned at her words and I shook my head slowly. "I can't believe it. We needed you! You weren't the only one who lost someone you loved that night. Your children lost both their parents and we needed you! Sean was just five years old! How could you just stand there as if everything was alright? Sarah had to work so hard to try to support all three of us!"

I paused and swallowed harshly before continuing, "You know when I found out you were alive, I was glad that my mom was alive and well. But now, it was clear that she did die ten years ago in that fire." I finished, my voice was full of hurt and sadness and my heart ached.

My mother regarded me coolly but I caught her flinching as my harsh words slammed into her. "I'm sorry to have disappointed you. But I am disappointed in your choice of a mate. He's one of the offspring of those who ruined our family." With that, she turned and left.

I was so shaken that I didn't even know what to say as I slumped back onto the sofa. I was speechless. All I could feel was disbelief. And I guess Brendon took my silence as something bad as he gestured for Cara to go back to her old room upstairs.

Slowly, I was numb to all the emotions in me and I mumbled. "Wow." Beside me, Brendon peered at me. "What are you thinking?"

I lifted my head up slowly to meet his gaze. "I don't even know where to start." I answered as my mind raced through all that I had learned about my parents tonight.

Brendon sighs before pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Say whatever that comes to mind." He presses and I nodded before saying quietly. "I'm actually glad that my mother is alive but sad that the mother I knew from when I was younger is no longer around. Does that make sense?"

Brendon nodded and remained silent as he sat beside me. "My dad died for no apparent reason and I have made peace with his death a long time ago. But knowing that he was senselessly murdered for just being himself? I-" I stopped and took a deep breath.

I looked down at my fingers before fiddling with the hem of my dress and continued, "My mother on the other hand, I don't even know what to say. She abandoned us because she couldn't handle the death of my dad. And I understand her loss but we needed her too. And for a moment, I can't help but feel a little resentful towards her. She abandoned us and left us in an orphanage. I remember Sarah working so hard so that we could all be in one roof together when she turned eighteen and she could become our legal guardian." I finished off and stared down at my hands.

Without warning, Brendon pulled me into his arms and I shut my eyes and leaned my head against his chest. Brendon was so quiet that I had absolutely no idea what he was actually thinking or feeling.

For the first time, I searched through the mate bond to figure out what Brendon was thinking or feeling. I could sense anxiousness, worry and a hint of panic and loads of anger that it caught me off guard.

"Sydney, I'm sorry for what my father and uncle did to your family." He says quietly and his eyes were a dark grey and full of guilt and worry.

I frowned in confusion before reaching out to cradle his left cheek with my hand. "What for? You were a victim too."

"Yes, but my father caused your family to be hurt and as a result, your family was torn apart. I'm just wondering why you're not hating me right now."

I frowned and gazed at him softly. "You may be related to them, but I know you're not like them. You have a heart, your father and uncle don't. Even though you can be tormented by your wolf, you are a good person and you are nothing like them." I spoke softly.

Brendon stared at me and all I could see from his expression was pain and loneliness. "Thank you for your belief in me. Go have dinner then go to bed, you had a long day." He said quietly and I complied before standing up. "Aren't you coming?"

He looked up at me before looking down at his hands. "No, I have things to do." He answered and I noticed that his tone had an odd quality to it. It was as if he had cut himself off from me. I frowned and questioned, "But you haven't had-"

"Sydney. Go. Please." He orders forcefully and I nodded reluctantly before leaving. Just as I left the living room, I turned around to see Brendon leaving to his study.

I bit my lip before pressing my lips into a thin line. What my mother had said about Brendon's father and uncle had clearly struck something in him. Whatever my mother had said tonight, I had pushed it to the back of my mind. Thinking about it made all the hurt and betrayal resurface up. And I had other things to think about.

I wasn't hungry, all the hunger from earlier had disappeared and I packed up all the food before making my way up to the bedroom. I paused before deciding to head to the study instead. Standing outside it, I hesitated on entering. Pressing my ear against the wooden doors, I heard absolutely nothing. My guess was that Brendon was in one of his moods.

Pushing through the mate bond, I could feel despair and anguish. I sighed and thought twice about entering before turning away. As I headed back to the bedroom, Cara opened her bedroom door before giving me a tiny smile. "Hey."

"Hi, I'm sorry about what my mother said about you and Brendon." I apologised and Cara nodded sheepishly. "It's fine. I take it you went to see my brother?"

I nodded and tried to shrug it off. "I tried to. But he's in one of his moods and I thought better than to interrupt him." Cara glanced away before giving sighing. "He feels that no one could ever love and accept him, but he's wrong. I love him as my brother. After all, he's the only family I have and he raised me since I was a baby. Sure it was Richard Kingston who sent me away to boarding school. But it was Brendon who took care of me while growing up."

I frowned at that. "The uncle sent you to boarding school?"

Cara nodded and bit her lip guiltily. "I thought that he accepted me as part of the Kingston family even though I was illegitimate. But I thought wrong. He wanted me out of the picture so he could take over the pack. I know that he had hurt Brendon really bad and I wasn't around to try to stop it. And that guilt hangs around me everyday."

I pressed my lips together at this piece of information before sighing as I ran my fingers through my hair. "It wasn't your fault Cara." I say softly and Cara nodded. "I know but I still feel it. When Brendon finally killed Robert, I could see that he wasn't the same person anymore. He had changed drastically and I couldn't help but feel that maybe if I was around, I could have prevented it." Cara finished quietly before sighing sadly.

Without saying anything, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her. "It isn't your fault Cara."

Cara nodded and pulled away as she rubbed the tears in her eyes. "Thank you. I've never told anyone that before. And certainly not Brendon." I offered her a smile and she gave a small smile in return. "Sydney, maybe you should talk to him." She suggested and I nodded.

"You're right." I agreed before giving her a grateful smile. "Well, I guess I had better go stay at the pack house tonight." She teased and I could feel my cheeks heating up.

Laughing at my reaction, she closed her bedroom door before leaving. I shook my head at her antics and watched her retreating figure before making my way to the study.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked twice on the door before entering. What I saw was Brendon staring out of the window in total darkness. "Brendon? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine." He answered emotionlessly and I bit my lip before heading towards him. "No you're not. What my mother said. Don't listen to her. You're not a monster."

At my words, Brendon turned around and face me. Anguish and sorrow was brewing in his stormy grey eyes. "But it's true. I did hurt you. I'll turn up just like my father and my uncle. You should go. Far away from me." He states coldly.

"Brendon, look at me. I'm not leaving. I love you." I say softly as I moved towards him and cradled his face between my hands. I enjoyed the feeling of his smooth skin on my palms as he had just shaved this morning.

"Why?" He asks quietly and a lost expression was on his face. "Why do you love me?" The lost expression on his face almost broke my heart because he looked like a lost lonely boy.

"Because you're you. I wouldn't have loved you if you weren't yourself. Yes you may hurt me, but you have changed. Your wolf doesn't really control everything now does he?" I say softly before offering him a small smile.

Brendon doesn't say a word before he shuts his eyes and leans in to rest his forehead on mine. His hands gripped my waist and his lips neared mine. Suddenly he murmurs against my lips. "I love you Sydney."

With that said, he kissed me softly. The kiss was infused with love and joy and nothing else and the feeling was so overwhelming that I could feel it in my heart. It wasn't desperate or anything of that sort. It was just his lips against mine. I pressed my lips against his and slid my hands around his neck.

His hands were planted on my waist and eventually, it grew more desperate and he hoisted me up. On instinct, I wrapped my legs around his hips and his hands moved down to my butt as he carried my weight.

Kissing him urgently, the scent of him wafted around us and it made everything more heightened. All I could think of was this. Slowly, he walked us to the bedroom and I guessed I was too engrossed in kissing him that I didn't know we had arrived.

Brendon gently laid me down on the bed, our lips never breaking apart and he got on top of me while my hands went down to his hips and tried lifting the hem of his shirt off.

"You sure?" He mumbled huskily against my lips. I nodded my head jerkily, "Yes. I want to." I breathed out and looked into his eyes.

Without saying anything, Brendon crashed his mouth against mine.

***

A/N: Hello! Here is the next update. I'm not sure when the next update will be but hopefully on Friday 26 February. AHAHA. I hope that all of you like this chapter! It's like a filler so if there is anything you don't understand, do feel free to post a question here. And I'll try to answer it A.S.A.P! Please vote and comment on this chapter? AHAHA I would love to know about your thoughts and feelings. They absolutely make my day. Also, I hoped that you listened to the song while reading this ahaha.     Thanks so much for reading and God Bless! :)

And well, here is a gif of Brendon Urie that I made because I love Panic! At The Disco and some of you readers do as well according to the comments I've read. Lmao.