King of Depravity: Chapter 24

I see Chloe’s eyes go wide.

She saw a piece of me today, a really dark one, and she’s still here, still soaking in a tub with me.

It gives me a bit of hope that what I’m about to tell her won’t make her run in fear.

I let out a long breath, scrubbing my hands over my face. I’ve never told a soul what I’m about to share and I can’t believe I’m actually going to put this out in the world and in someone else’s hands.

But Chloe told me she wanted the truth, and I’ll give it to her.

I know it might drive her away.

I wouldn’t even blame her. But it’s time for the honesty that I know she craves and then it will all be out. No more secrets. “I wasn’t always like this. In fact, my mother used to say that I was the happiest of her children.”

Chloe’s lips part as she leans closer. “I can see that. There is something so clean about your feelings.”

Clean. It’s a word no one ever associates with me. It makes my chest tight as I reach for her hand.

She slips her small fingers into mine. Her wide green eyes look even brighter in the overhead light of the bathroom, her cheeks flushing from the heat of the water making her eyes sparkle even more.

I don’t want to scare her anymore tonight, but I also want all the shit out there. “I’m not clean, Chloe. I’m dirty as fuck.”

She grimaces. “For killing a man who was going to kill me? I don’t think so.”

I shake my head. “You don’t know the shit I’ve done and I’m never telling you. It’s my burden to bear. But I want you to understand…” I break again. This is harder than I thought. I’ve been keeping the words in for so long, it’s like they’re lodged in my chest. Buried so deep, I can’t reach them.

She untangles her legs and then moves through the water, settling her back against my front, her body cradled against mine. I wrap my arms around her, resting my cheek on the top of her head. “This is nicer, you’re right.”

Having her body pressed against mine, I feel my muscles relax. And this way, when I say the words, I don’t have to see her face.

Which frightens me as much as it comforts.

The fear I’ve experienced since Chloe has come into my life is a funny thing. I haven’t cared about death or pain for the longest time, and now I do.

I’m not afraid of my feelings for her. But now, I am always worried about her safety. Her wellbeing. If something happens to me…

I kiss the top of her head, my eyes closing as I breathe in the scent of her hair.

“You can tell me, Killian.”

I draw in a deep breath, my hands spreading out on her arms.

“My dad wasn’t around much when we were young. First, there were multiple estates. My mother mostly stayed in one so that we had a stable upbringing, but my father travelled a lot. They said it was for property management, but I learned later…” I draw in another breath, just taking a beat.

She threads her fingers through mine. “Keep going.”

“I learned that he was a party boy. Drugs. Women. The works… Because we were mostly raised by our mother, we saw her pain, and we don’t talk about it, but I think all of us have been reluctant to start serious relationships after watching theirs.”

She nods, remaining quiet as I collect my thoughts again. I appreciate her not pushing.

“When I was maybe ten, my father came home from a long jag away. He looked thin, pale, bloated. He drank all the time and despite being home, the house mostly went on without him except for his random drunken rages that disrupted everything. I’m the second youngest, Rush the youngest, so my older brothers shielded me from a lot of that. I do remember Tris and Gris pinning him to the floor once when he went after my mother.”

She shudders in my arms, making me tighten my grip. “Is this too much for you after tonight?”

“No,” she shakes her head, pulling my arms even tighter. “I’ve seen my mom get beat up on more than one occasion. It’s always awful.”

There is so much that Chloe understands that most people wouldn’t. I rub my cheek over the top her head wanting to be even closer to her.

“One night he was really drunk, I guess. I was outside after dark, playing in the walled garden, when he stumbled out. That’s when he grabbed me and pulled my face an inch from his face…”

I stop again, the words causing a lump in my chest, lodged once again.

Being with Chloe has loosened so many emotions I thought I’d dammed up tight and I can feel the fear I’d experienced that night pulse through me.

The rancid smell of his breath, the tight grip of his hand. I must go rigid because Chloe turns around, running a soothing hand over my jaw. “It’s all right.”

Is she comforting me? I don’t spend much time with my mother, shut myself off from her a long time ago. I’ve forgotten what female comfort feels like and I sink into the feeling now.

“He shook me and then he told me that I was a curse on our family. A disgusting vile creature who caused him and my mother nothing but pain. That it was my fault he was never home, he couldn’t even look at me, I was so repulsive.”

“Killian,” Chloe gasps, flipping in the tub so that her front is pressed to mine. Her arms wrap around my neck, her face only inches from mine. “Why would he say that to you?” Her incredulity helps. My arms, wrap around her, as I drop my forehead to hers, keeping my eyes closed, emotion making my throat tight.

“He said…” I draw in a jagged breath, my eyes closing. “That my mother was raped. And that I…”

Her lips press to mine, her arms tightening around my neck. I’ve told her the worst of it. He used words I didn’t even understand at the time. Ones like sadist and psychotic. I came to understand them later.

For a long time, Chloe just holds me, kissing my lips over and over with small, firm presses of her lips. Maybe she doesn’t yet understand the full implication of my words. I was made from violence, and it lives in my blood and in my soul.

Then again, perhaps my violent nature is the very thing that will see her through. I kiss her back, just needing the comfort that her arms and lips provide.

I expected revulsion or distance.

I never expected this kind of sweet, sweet acceptance. It takes the connection I already felt for Chloe and amplifies it, makes it deeper, stronger.

The water is starting to cool, and I feel her shiver against the warmth of my skin. In a second, I’ve got the tap on, adding more hot water. Then I grab the soap and start soaping up her skin.

I don’t want any trace of Alexander on her body. When I’m done with the bath, I lift her out of the bath and carry her to the shower. “We’re going to wash our hair. Give ourselves another scrub.”

I would do anything to protect Chloe, bathing her is the least of it. We don’t talk as she washes out her blonde hair and I do the same. But as we get out of the shower, and I wrap her in a fluffy white towel, she gives me a sideways glance. “What does your mother say about all of this?”

I stare at her, probably looking confused. “Why would I have told my mother? I don’t talk to my mother about anything. Especially not this.”

Her own features draw into a frown. She shakes her head. “But what if he…why don’t you talk to her at all?”

“Could you imagine raising a child like that? What it must have taken? I refuse to cause her anymore pain, and so I take her burden away by keeping to myself.”

Chloe’s mouth opens and then closes as her lips twitch. “Did she love you as a child?”

“I guess. She treated me just like she did my other brothers.” I feel that tightness in my chest like something isn’t right.

“Does she try to talk to you now?” Chloe doesn’t look like she’s judging but she does seem concerned.

The answer is yes. Even after all this time. But I keep my distance because why should she have to love me? It isn’t fair to her.

Chloe searches my face, seeing the answer. “If she didn’t want you, she wouldn’t try, Killian. That’s a choice she can make for herself.”

Chloe turns toward the door then, taking the towel off her body to wrap up her wet hair. The sight of her naked ass makes my cock twitch, but I ignore the sensation. Thinking about everything else we’ve discussed.

More than I want to be inside Chloe, I just want to hold her close, feel her body against mine and know that I am loved.

She comes back in the bathroom, and I realized I haven’t moved since she left. She’s wearing my T-shirt as she comes over to me again, wrapping her arms around my neck. “You all right?”

“I’m good. Better than I thought.” And then I kiss her. Because I feel lighter. And I know that beyond just giving Chloe my heart forever, I’m going to give her my body. My soul. Everything I do will be for her.

Her hands thread into my wet hair, clinging to me as I brush my mouth across hers. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she says against my lips.

I finally let her go, moving to the bedroom to pull on joggers. That’s when she fires up the blow dryer.

I’ve no more than slapped the elastic low on my hips when a loud knock sounds on my door.

Fuck.

I enter the living room. “Who the fuck is it?”

“Tris,” my brother barks back. “Open the damn door.”

I stomp over, a scowl surely pulling at every feature of my face. I’m wrung out and the last thing I want to do is spar with Triston. I throw open the door, snarling. “I don’t just show up at your fucking house, you know.”

“I don’t go around killing people I was specifically told not to touch.”

I open the door wider. Clearly this is a now problem. “Chloe will be blow drying her hair for the next ten minutes. That’s how long you’ve got.”

He steps in as I close the door behind me. “Does she know you killed Preston?”

“Not specifically.”

“Alexander?”

I’m not much for lying so I say nothing. Triston starts spitting. “Fuck.” He scrubs his hand down his face. “What have you done?”

“He tried to rape her.”

“So? She’s a fucking waitress you’ve known for a few days.”

I’m on him before he can even respond, taking him to the ground and dropping on top of him. I see the fear flash in his eyes, but I don’t back down. My face right in his, I spit, “Chloe is here to stay. You’ll treat her like you do Arabella or we’re going to have a real problem.”

“Jesus, Killian,” he growls back, but he’s calmer. “Get off me.”

I ease back but not totally up. “Ask Gris what he’d do if someone touched Arabella like that.”

“Arabella is his fiancée.”

Marriage. Interesting. “I just told you. Chloe is here to stay.”

“You just met her.”

“Do I usually fuck around with women? Why would I be with her if I’m not serious? That’s for you, Triston. I chose Chloe because she’s the one.”

Triston’s eyes close. “Mason told you not to touch Alexander. Do you know how much money rides on the Kincaids’ benevolence?”

“We’ve got money.” I lift off him. “I don’t give a shit.”

“I give a shit,” he pulls himself up. “I’ve worked for months on this deal.”

“Well, then, rest assured. Alexander killed Antonelli Vendetti so…Mason is getting his wish. Italians and Russians divided, because I made it look like Antonelli killed Alexander back.”

Triston smiles, his eyes lighting. “Why didn’t you say so.”

“I just fucking did.” I hear the blow dryer shut off. “Now get the fuck out.”

Triston hesitates, his mouth twitching with indecision before he finally speaks. “Killian, I know you’re attached. But what Chloe knows is a problem.”

“It isn’t.”

“It is.” My brother insists.

I step closer, my finger coming right in his face. “I know my value, Triston. I’m not just the dirty man. Your deals go through because of my intel. I am the key to your money machine.”

I see him wince and I know he knows I’m right. “But if she talks…”

“She won’t.”

“She might. And if she does, you’ll have to be prepared⁠—”

I bump my chest into his. “Don’t make me fucking choose, Triston. You won’t like what happens next.”

His nostrils flare, his lips thinning, before he steps around me. “You’d choose pussy over your own family?”

I swing but he’s ready and he blocks my punch.

“You’re not listening. She is my family. And if anyone, and I mean anyone, tries to hurt her, the consequences are going to send the whole of Vegas crashing down.”

A frustrated rumble rips from his mouth before he pivots toward the door, stomping toward it. He slams it shut as he leaves.

For a moment I stare at the door saying a lot of really nasty words under my breath. But that’s when I hear it…the whir of helicopter blades.

I turn my head, looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows of the loft when the copter comes into view.

Helicopters are everywhere in Vegas, taking tourists on scenic aerial tours of the city. But this one drops down right in front of my windows.

And then it turns to the side, a gunman standing in the open door of the bird. My heart slows as my gaze locks with the gunman.

I only have one second to jump behind the island before he opens fire.