XXV

New year

☆彡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑎

Narrative

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

New year, New me. Something almost everyone tells themselves when New Year's rolls around, but for once I hadn't told myself that. Ever since I met Paige something has sparked inside me and I feel like I don't need to change, I'm comfortable where I am. Or maybe I'm just trying to hype myself up as I get ready for the big UCcon New Year party.

I went my freshman year and decided it was only fun if you knew people, so I never went back—until now, I guess. "Okay, you sexy mferr" I giggle as Cameron walks in my room. I gasp looking back at her. "Look at you!" "We are about to be the baddest bitches at this party." She mimics us partying and dancing around. This girl never fails to make me laugh. I finish putting on my jewelry as Cam sits waiting for me.

"Sooo...are you gonna do it?" "Do what?" I try to search my mind for what she could mean but it's blank. "Kiss your girlfriend during the New Year's countdown." I hadn't thought about that at all. "Oh..." "OH?! you're telling me you haven't been constantly thinking about a new years tradition you can finally participate in?" "I don't like how you worded that." "Okay never mind that. You are kissing her." "Whatever you say cupid." "I realize you are joking, but I am cupid. Without me we wouldn't be having this conversation right now." She's not wrong. "true."

The whole car ride to the house party Cameron's words replayed in my head. Will it be awkward? Is she already thinking about doing it? ugh, I hate it when I get in my head.

It takes us about 10 minutes to park due to almost everyone in school being at this party—we should've ubered. As we walk through the door I'm immediately hit with the smell of booze. The house was packed to the brim with a bunch of college kids. "Are Paige and the others here already?" Cam raises her voice so I can hear her. "Yeah!" I yell back. I take her hand and start to weave through the packed rooms. Pushing through to find Paige was giving me flashbacks to the first party we were at. The night we almost kissed. I smile to myself reliving the memory.

That is when I spot her, red cup in hand standing next to Nika talking about something. I rush up to her dragging Cam behind me. When we reach the two I quickly grab the cup from her hand drinking what's left. The alcohol burns my throat. "Hey!" I can tell she is fighting back a smile. "You are an athlete, save your career and leave the drinking to me." She laughs. "Oh hey, there is someone I want you to meet." She turns around disappearing for a moment coming back with someone behind her. "Kayla this is Evelina. Evelina, Kayla." The shorter girl looks from me to Paige with a smirk on her face. "So you are the infamous girl." She reaches out her hand and I shake it. "I'm not really sure how you guys haven't met yet, I guess Kayla is almost always over when you aren't." Paige laughs watching the two of us.

For most of that night, me and Paige moved as one. When someone invited me to play beer pong she was right there with me.  Unfortunately for me, I went against one of the men's basketball players who kept throwing the ping pong balls straight into the cup. After my third drink, Paige took over winning for us. As she threw the ball in the last cup we both jumped up in celebration I'm victory began Paige's to flexed causing a laugh. I could tell the alcohol was starting to affect me because the urge to kiss her just got stronger and stronger.

After that game I stayed by Paige's side silently as she talked to a bunch of people who expressed their admiration, it must be exhausting having random strangers talk to you one after the other. That is why I comfortably stood to the side trying not to fall in my heels. I think she noticed me trying to keep myself upright because she immediately put one hand on my lower back. "I'm gonna go to the restroom." "Let me go with you." She says before ending the conversation with some guy she was talking to. I do my best to keep my steps stable as I struggle to find the bathroom, Paige is close guiding me with her hand on my back. When I get to the bathroom I don't really register what happens and she is in the bathroom with me. I'm too drunk to care and immediately sit down on the toilet.

"Do you want me to leave?" She is practically on the bathroom door trying to look anywhere else but at me. "No, its fine," I stand up way too quickly having to use the sink as support. "Hey...Hey, you okay?" Her hand was back. "Yeah, I'm fine... I should probably go find Cam." I dug my phone out of my purse to check if she had texted me at all. No notifications just the time that read 11:50. Shit, The countdown was soon. "Are you sure you good? I can take you home if you need me to." "I'm fine, Paige." I wash my hands drying them off on my dress.

On my hunt to find Cam, I no longer felt Paige's hand on my back. It didn't matter though I would find Cam, make sure she was all alright, and then quickly get back to P. Every door opened was walking into a room I definitely was not supposed to be in.

As I entered the last room to my surprise there she was on top of someone. I turned my head to the side trying to see if it was her and my eyes did not fail me today. Good for her, I guess. I pull my phone back out and it's now 11:58. fuck.

As I push through people in search of Paige It feels like a cycle. When will I be done chasing after this girl? The people in random rooms start to disperse as they make their way to the living room for the ball drop. Still no Paige. She couldn't have gotten that far, I mean I hope.

"ITS ALMOST A NEW YEAR LETS FUCKING GO!" I hear some guy yell from the front of the house. I'm running out of time.

"10...9....8...7.." I push harder pissing off everyone in my way, but I don't care I have to get to her.

"5....4.....3.....2.." As the counting gets closer to 1 the louder they get. I never knew how much anxiety I would feel over kissing some girl, but there's a first for everything.

"1....HAPPY NEW YEAR!" As the house explodes with excitement so does my heart. There she was on the stairs kissing another girl.

༄

The sight of her there causes me to immediately sober up, and when she pulls away her eyes meeting mine I feel the tears well. She mouths something before getting up and walking closer. With every step, I feel my breathing get heavier. "Evelina... it's not what it looks like." She reaches out for me but I pull away. "Don't fucking touch me..." I mutter. I can see the hurt in her eyes but I don't care. I turn around rushing back to the room I found Cameron in. "Cameron we need to go now," I say breaking the two. When she finally turns around I can see her lipstick smudged but I never see who she was on top of. "Why? What's wrong." I don't say anymore grabbing onto her arm and pulling her towards the front door. I hear my name being called but the humiliation is too much to bear and I continue to drag Cam to the car driving us home.

I don't say a word to her, but that's honestly because I think Cam is way too drunk to even remember any of this. That night as I get Cameron ready for bed I let the tears fall uncontrollably down my cheeks. I can't be alone. So I climb over my best friend and hold onto her as we both fall asleep.

Okay, I didn't think it was a good time for a post but I like these photos and they are what helped me imagine their fits. (Even though you can't see cams).

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

I know you probably hate me rn but this was in the works since I started writing. New chapter out soon!

-J