chapter twenty-eight

t w e n t y - e i g h t

*

Weak winter sunlight pours through the window as it slowly rises above the horizon, pale yellow beams streaking through the trees and the snow and the fog to cast themselves across an exposed strip of Casper's back. I trace the glowing lines with my fingertips, his skin warm from sleep, and press my lips to the back of his neck when he stirs with a sigh and a grunt.

We spent Boxing Day in the house, recovering from a full day with my family and collapsing in bed by nine o'clock, though it was midnight before we fell asleep. Now, waking up refreshed on the twenty-seventh of December, that strange time between Christmas and the new year, I'm ready to get out of the house.

"That feels good," Casper says into his pillow, slowly rolling over so my hand splays over his bare chest, and he flashes me a wonky, sleepy smile.

"Time to get up," I say with a yawn, throwing the duvet off me so the blast of cold forces me to get out of bed.

"Sure you don't want to just ... stay here?"

"You're welcome to stay in bed, but I need to get out of this house." It's hard to get the energy to actually leave my bed, especially with Casper sprawled out next to me, but the light from the sun and the chill from the snow forces me to my feet, carrying me to the bathroom.

By the time I return, he's out of bed and semi dressed, running his hands through his hair before he bothers to look for a t-shirt. Not that I'm complaining. We've only been together for three days: this is very much still the honeymoon period, and part of me would quite like to throw him back onto the bed and kiss his chest, to mess up his hair and leave hickeys on his neck.

"Where're we going?" he asks, pulling on yesterday's t-shirt from a pile on the floor.

"Breakfast."

"Downstairs?"

"Out," I say. "We've hardly left the house since you moved in and the cabin fever is starting to set in. I think it's about time we got a change of air, and let someone else cook for once."

He grins, looping a belt around his waist. "Sure you don't want a cold carrot and leftover chicken sandwich for brekkie?"

"Not again. I'm craving fresh fruit and fluffy eggs and avocado and tomatoes." I stand in front of the mirror to put in a pair of glittery snowflake earrings once I've looped a scarf around my neck. Casper disappears while I brush my hair and search for lipstick. I don't often wear make-up, but I feel like making extra effort today, matching my lips to my deep red jumper.

When I turn around, Casper has returned, a dot of toothpaste in the corner of his mouth, and I can't resist kissing that cheeky grin of his.

"I bet I've got red lips now," he says, puckering up and ducking around me to check in the mirror. "You know what, I kind of like this look. Am I pulling it off?" He purses his lips at me, pulling a sassy pout, one finger touching the corner of his mouth.

"Absolutely. You look divine, darling." I hold up the tube and wiggle it at him. "Want some?"

He rolls his lips together and says, "Baby steps, my love," before he kisses me again, chuckling as he presses his lips against mine a bit harder. "Feelin' sexy."

"Looking sexy too." I pat his cheek and pull on a thick cardigan over my jumper, layering up to battle the weather outside. It's pretty still, as far as I can see, but the snow is clean and white and bitingly cold. "Well. Shall we go?"

He throws an arm around my waist and squeezes my arse. "Let's hit the road, baby."

*

It's quiet in town, the car park virtually empty when we pull in twenty minutes later. The weather seems to have driven people away from the centre, ice and snow and the bitter cold keeping them at home – it's ghostlike, shops empty aside from pockets of staff looking for things to do, if the stores are even open. A handful are shut, Java Tea included, but I know we can rely on the chain cafes at the other end of town.

The air is crisp and clean, so refreshing to pull into my lungs and replace the stale air of the past few days. My face is freezing, cheeks red and stiff from the biting wind, but it feels so freaking good to be moving, my hand swinging in Casper's and my breath fogging in front of me.

The sky may be dull and grey at ten in the morning, but it makes the Christmas lights stand out more. The tree in the centre of town is adorned with baubles and strings of twinkling bulbs, livening up the silent square and lifting my spirits. I squeeze Casper's hand tighter and he pulls me in a little closer as we walk and try not to skid. Every now and then I feel the pavement give way beneath me when I hit a patch of ice, my stomach dropping to my toes in the moment it takes to regain balance.

"Careful," Casper warns. "The nearest A&E is, like, ten miles from here and I'm fairly certain it follows bank hours. Don't go slipping on me."

"I'm good, I'm good, I've got this," I say, holding out my arms to steady myself with a laugh.

He stands behind me, hands on my waist, and says, "I've got you."

"You're cute," I say, twisting to face him, "but if I go down, you're going down with me."

"Is that the plan for tonight?" He wiggles his eyebrows and suddenly my cheeks aren't so cold anymore, blood rushing to my face for an involuntary blush that accompanies my laugh. I give him a playful shove and he exaggerates a fake-out fall, pinwheeling his arms like a cartoon character.

And then he really goes go down, a perfect mix of confusion, horror, and premature pain on his face as he drops. I throw my hands out way too late, once he's already on the ground, and a laugh bursts out of me when I mean to ask if he's okay.

"Thanks for your concern," Casper says. But he's laughing too. He takes my hand and when I pull him to his feet – half expecting him to pull me down too – he dusts off his jeans, pouting like a child.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine and dandy."

"How's your arse?"

"Rather cold. In need of a little tender loving care."

I slip my hand into his back pocket – a tight fit with my thick glove – and say, "I'm sure that can be arranged. But first, coffee."

*

Costa's busy. It's like a whole new town in here, so warm and so full of bodies that the windows are fogged up, and there are hardly any tables. No wonder the streets are empty. Anyone who's bothered to brave the cold has found themselves holed up in here with mint hot chocolates and winter blend lattes, slices of yule logs and cranberry muffins dotting the tables.

My mouth waters at the smell that hits the moment Casper swings open the door. Coffee and cocoa and warm pastry, a welcome embrace for my senses as I replace the fresh air in my lungs for the warm, chocolatey air in here.

"I feel like I'm cheating," Casper mutters.

"On what?"

"My job. My livelihood. My integrity."

"Bit dramatic." I snort. "I think it's okay to go to a coffee shop other than the one where you work, especially when your café is shut."

He takes a deep breath and says, "If Julio finds out, I'm a dead man."

"I've known Julio for long enough to know that he wouldn't give a shit." I nudge him towards an empty table – a good one, with a deep sofa – and say, "You snag that and rest your arse, and tell me what you want."

He purses his lips and drums his fingers on his thigh. "I'll take a Bethlehem special."

I'm about to point out that there's no special, seeing as I rarely order the same thing, when I realise that's what he means. "So you want a surprise?"

"Yup. Surprise me. As long as the drink is hot, and the cake exists."

I grin. He kisses me, a light peck before he puts on a hobble on his way to the sofa and makes a meal of sitting down.

Ten minutes later, I join him with an unbalanced tray, almost throwing two boiling hot coffees over his lap when I try to put it down safely. Two plates of gold dusted chocolate yule logs slide across the tray when I set it down, bumping the mugs and rippling the drinks.

"Are these the same?" Casper asks, taking one of the cakes and giving the drinks a shifty look.

"Nope."

"Which one's mine?"

"They're both the Bethlehem special, so whichever one you want is yours." I sit down, glad to be warm enough to unbutton my coat. "One's a caramel mocha and the other's a ... praline latte, I think? Or hazelnut?"

He presses his hands together, fingers in front of his lips. "Big decision."

"Huge. Make it wisely."

"How much time did you put on the car? This might take a while."

"You've got about fifteen minutes before they're both cold. And about two minutes before I make your decision for you." I lean back to let him decide, taking out my phone to pass the time. Nothing much seems to be going on in the world, except a few travel warnings and a potential storm alert.

I'm pointlessly scrolling through Twitter for a while before I realise that Casper seems extraordinarily still and quiet, and when I look up, he's staring at something behind me. I twist before he can tell me not to, and my eyes land squarely on his ex-boyfriend.

"Oh, shit," I mutter. Eric's not looking. I don't think he's seen us. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Casper says, breaking out of his trance. He shakes his head and rolls his shoulders. "Yeah, yeah. It's fine. Just weird."

Seeing Eric makes me realise how ridiculously fast we've moved and I feel a little faint at the thought. Two weeks ago, I was in that guy's flat, collecting Casper's things as a concerned friend. Now I'm his concerned girlfriend, and I've been so caught up in my own feelings for him that I haven't spared a moment to think too hard about how recently he got dumped.

"Want to leave?"

"No. It's fine. We're not leaving just because my ex is here."

"I totally understand if you want to. Or we can switch places, if you'd rather face a table full of old ladies with crumbs stuck in their mouth wrinkles."

That gets a smile out of him, and a nod. We try to switch places subtly, so as not to draw Eric's attention, and I try not to let my eyes drift his way too much.

"I think I'll take the caramel mocha," Casper says at last. "I need a little sweetness."

"Good choice." I pull over the praline latte. "I need some nuts."

"Later, my dear, later," he says, nudging my foot with his. He holds his mug in front of his mouth, blowing the steam my way and pressing his lips to the hot ceramic. He looks lost in thought, his eyes glazing over the moment we're not talking. I know that feeling all too well.

"We really can go, Cas. I know it really sucks to see your ex."

"It does," he says. "But I don't want to go. There's no need. Though, honestly, this would be a hell of a lot more painful if I didn't have you."

I soften a little and put my hand over his, and I try to tamp down the flicker of guilt that I've dragged him into a new relationship far too soon. We've moved at rocket speed and here he is, wearing the still-fresh wounds of a breakup.

Casper sighs. He smiles. He pulls his hand out from under mine and puts it on top, before he uses both hands to lift his huge mug and take a long sip of mocha.

I'm about to say something – I'm not sure what yet, but something – when the song overhead changes and I tune in for the first time since we've been here. Casper does too. I can see it in the way he lifts his head slightly, glancing up, and a twinkle finds its way into his eyes.

"I got you, babe," I say in time with Sonny and Cher, and when they sing they say our love won't pay the rent, Casper chuckles.

"I promise to pay you rent as well as love. I realise that may be hard to believe, considering I've yet to contribute a penny, bu—"

"That's for future us to figure out," I say with a dismissive flap of my hand. "From the get go, I said you could stay until the new year if you wanted, so you're still in your freeloading probationary period. It's all good." Resting my elbows on the table and my chin in my hands, I add, "But come the first of January, the rules are gonna get a lot stricter around here."

"I'll make the most of the next five days," he says. He scoots closer to the table so he can lean across and plant a kiss on my lips, almost knocking over his drink in the process.

"And your reward at the end will be another celebration with the whole King clan," I say. "Which, by the way, we totally don't have to do if you'd rather not. The family's big enough that I don't think India would miss us too much if we decided to spend New Year's Eve here."

Casper looks offended. He pulls a face, scrunching up his eyebrows as he takes a bite of cake. "I like your family. I think it'll be nice to see the new year in with them. But if you don't want to, feel free to use me as an excuse. I don't mind."

I laugh at the way we're going in circles. "We'll go. It'll be nice. Intense, though, considering it'll either mean one of us staying sober, or both of us staying the night."

"What's not to love about intense initiations into my girlfriend's family? First Christmas, then New Year's. Before you know it, I'll be crashing your parents' anniversary."

"They'd probably love that, to be honest. The more the merrier. They really liked you, if you couldn't tell."

He gives me a quiet smile and doesn't say anything for a moment, his eyes lingering on me. Several seconds pass before he pats the cushion next to him on the sofa. "Come here," he says.

"Huh?"

"Come and sit here. Next to me."

"You want to share a sofa?"

He rolls his eyes at me. "Yes. I want to share a sofa with my girlfriend. Is that okay?"

"It's okay. I think. Let's see." I scoot off my sofa – harder than it sounds, the cushions deep and soft – and join him on the other side so we're that couple. The ones who share the same side of a booth in a restaurant. I sink down next to him, a deep dip in the weak springs forcing us together in the middle. "Better?"

"Much." His thigh is wedged against mine. Soon, his fingers are laced with mine. That's as far as it goes, seeing as we're in a coffee shop, but somehow it feels as intimate as anything else. "Hey, Beth?"

"Yeah, Wise Man?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

He strokes the back of my hand with his thumb, his eyes on our fingers. He says nothing for a while, until he lifts his gaze to mine, his eyes soft and deep. "For being exactly who you are."

*

so close to the end! only two more chapters to go after this!

p.s. if you didn't see, i posted the intro for my next story, a summery sapphic year abroad at uni story featuring paisley as the mc!