Chapter 13: Walls Crumble, But Slowly

I could still feel the warmth of Isaiah's hand on mine, the way it lingered there, as if he was afraid I'd pull away if he didn't hold on tight enough. Maybe I would've pulled away. Maybe I would've shut down like I always did when things got too real. But this time? This time, I didn't want to. I didn't want to run.

And I hated that I was scared of it.

After all, what did it even mean to let someone in? To really let them see you? It wasn't like Isaiah could just fix me. He couldn't erase all the years of hurt, the fear, the loneliness. But I wanted to let him try. I wanted to believe in him the way he was starting to believe in me.

It was a weird thing, having someone care about you when you're used to carrying your own weight. Used to being the one who never relied on anyone, who never let anyone get too close. But with Isaiah, it was different.

He was different.

"So, what now?" I finally broke the silence, my voice quieter than usual.

Isaiah glanced over at me, his smile small but genuine. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "I guess... where do we go from here?"

He laughed softly, shaking his head. "I think we just take it one day at a time, man. We don't need to have everything figured out right now. You're still learning how to trust me, and I'm still learning how to let you in. But that's alright."

I looked over at him, trying to read his face, trying to see if he was just saying that to make me feel better. But the way he looked at me... I knew he meant it. "You're cool with that?"

Isaiah gave me a half-smile. "Hell yeah. I'm not rushing you, Amir. I'm not trying to force you to feel something you're not ready for. But I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

I nodded slowly, the knot in my chest easing up a little. It wasn't perfect, but it was something. Maybe that's all we really needed right now. Something real, even if it wasn't all figured out.

"So..." I started, unsure how to keep the conversation going. "What do you wanna do today? We can just go grab something to eat or—"

Before I could finish, Isaiah grabbed my wrist lightly, pulling me towards him. "How about this?"

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine.

It wasn't like the last kiss. It wasn't as quick or frantic. This one was slow, deliberate. It was like he was giving me space to breathe, to feel, to take it all in without rushing. And for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I had to pull away. I didn't feel like I needed to protect myself from whatever was about to happen. I just let him kiss me, let myself feel something that wasn't fear.

When he pulled back, I was left speechless, heart racing, the world around us fading away.

"I like you, Amir," he said, his voice rough. "I really like you. And I know it's not easy for you to believe that, but I'm not going anywhere."

I swallowed hard, struggling to get the words out. "I... I like you too. I just—fuck, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to let someone in without pushing them away."

Isaiah's expression softened, and he brushed his thumb over my hand. "We'll figure it out together. You don't have to be perfect, Amir. You don't have to do anything but be real with me. And I'll do the same for you."

His words settled over me like a warm blanket. It wasn't perfect, like he said, but it felt like the start of something real. Something that wasn't just about hiding behind walls or keeping my heart locked up.

I didn't know if I could fully let go of all my fears, all the things that made me want to run, but I knew that with him, I didn't have to be perfect. I just had to be me.

And that felt like enough.