Chapter 18: When a mask is lifted beyond recognition

--SABLE--

“Good work today,” Keeli said while patting my shoulder as I set down the last of the barrels he and I were moving into an underground storage room. “Your help has been greatly appreciated. I can barely believe how much we can get done in a day since you joined us. Never thought I’d live to see the day someone with your strength would step into my life.”

“I’m just happy to help,” I replied and wiped the sweat off my brow. “I enjoy physical exertion and helping others.”

“Ho, ho, me as well. That’s why I chose the farm-life. It’s simple, less crowded, but keeps me busy.” Keeli and I began trudging up the stairs, and he shut the floor door, securing it, and we left the storage barn. We had filled it with the harvest during the last days of autumn. Other barns were used for processing the harvested roots, some for storage of tools and materials.

The work was laborious, but I enjoyed it as Keeli and his village of farmers helped teach me how things worked, their methods of harvesting, and I often was asked to transport heavier objects. One farmer even broke their leg while in the field, and I was able to carry them home for proper treatment. The village was self-sustainable and the community was more welcoming each day I arrived. The manual labor was starkly more rewarding that working for Lord Orvin, where I often sat around the estate, and waited upon the man’s every whim. The very thought of him made my stomach lurch, and some days I would even lose my appetite.

Then again, Historia helped remind me that despite the cruel ending of my position, my suffering was not in vain and I had learned a valuable lesson to never let another take advantage of me, despite my initial trust in their intentions.

“The world is full of cruel people, and you must learn to find your place if you are to stay by Lillie’s side,” Historia had said to me in private. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t more aware of your situation. I hope you can forgive me.”

I was grateful for her and the security that she brought Lillie and I, but I began to wonder if staying within the city was what I really wanted, for I feared the masters and keepers even more now that I knew what they were capable of. Although Lillie had reassured her friends that she had no intention of leaving the city any time soon, I began to wonder if that was something she meant, or had said only to appease the others as they worried about her newfound freedom with the glider—and with me.

It seemed that with each new step Lillie took to find herself and what she wanted, tumbling uncertainty and doubts would crash upon her, threatening the stability of our relationship. Although I thought that she would be happier away from the ominous city that caused her and I pain, it was obvious that she wasn’t ready to leave, nor think of anything beyond what life we were creating in tiny increments.

However, as the cold weather began to set upon the lands and the farmers were anticipating their break from the fields, I dreaded the onset of being cooped up in the library again—even if I was with Lillie.

“Normally, we begin tilling the ground once it no longer freezes,” Keeli informed me about the break during winter. “If you return in the beginning of spring, we would greatly appreciate your further help. Oh, and by the way, here is a small wage. I know it’s not much, but next year I can pay you more. I have a lot of ideas of how you can further help. Ho, and we often endure landslides that take forever to dig out—maybe you could speed up the process.”

“Thank you. I look forward to returning in spring,” I said, and took the small purse of coins, and placed it into my leather satchel. “Until then, my lord.”

“Oh, don’t call me that. I am only a humble farmer. My name would suffice. Goodbye Sable. See you in spring.”

I said my final goodbyes to all the other farmers who wished me a safe winter, and I flew away from the farming village and towards the lake. I snatched up a few fish to bring home, causing my hands to shiver in the cold water, realizing that this would be my last time near the mountains, and I looked up at its formidable size hidden by the low clouds.

Normally, during that point in the season, I would be finishing my winter storage for the summit isolation as a member of the Hira colony. Now, I was anticipating a winter spent with Lillie and her friends, learning to read and write more about the culture that raised me to believe that I was supposed to abide by the way of the Sage.

As the cold air blew through my hair, a shiver ran down my spine, but my instincts suddenly were alerted to that eerie sensation of being watched. A feeling I often sensed when so close to the mountains caused me to scan the area. Even within the city, I could feel the gazing eyes upon me, and hated the idea of the lenses of the spy-glass peering down at me through the tall, glass tower that stood in the middle of the city where I had once spent everyday within. Yet, even out here in the wild, the same sensation caused my skin to crawl—especially when I spotted a dark figure across the lake.

Once again, the face of an owl was watching me.

Why are they still haunting me?

I turned my back, intentionally wanting to ignore their presence, and I quickly swung the leather strap of the bag over my shoulder that was full of fish and a pouch of money. I heard the sound of flapping wings skim over the surface of the water, and the Sage landed directly behind me, but I extended my wings to take off.

“Sable, please wait!” they cried, causing my wings to twitch at the thought of speaking with another Teragane after being banished. Then again, I was too curious to know what they wanted and exhausted from always running away.

“What do you want?” I asked and folded my wings as I turned to face them. The Sage lowered their gloved hand, but hesitated to respond. “Why do you keep watching me? Should I not already be disregarded from the Teragane people? Why do you care so much about me to continue watching over my every move? Just leave me alone already!”

“Sable. You—you don’t understand,” they replied with a pleading cry. “You should have left the area completely. The Sage are watching you.”

“Obviously—wait.”

In the low light of the setting sun, I examined their rather small figure. Although they were taller than me, it was obvious that they were not a full-sized Teragane, and their hesitation indicated something deeper. Yet, it was the shape of the owl mask—the tone of voice—the sound of someone genuinely concerned as if they cared about me.

“Cami?” I asked, taking a chance as I recalled the bone mask sketch in our final hours together. It appeared similar to the one I was gazing at—the unique shape of a barred owl with deep crevasses. “Is it really you?”

The Sage slowly moved their gloved hand to their mask, causing further trembling within my body at the mere fact that I was not the only rebellious Teragane going against the Sage—to reveal one’s identity—that was forbidden, or so I thought.

“I’ve come to warn you,” Cami said after drifting the mask away, revealing his deep, brown eyes and curly brown hair that was plastered against his head from being underneath a mask. I reached out and grabbed the back of his head, and hugged him tightly, feeling as if I would cry. He wrapped his arm around me, embracing me as well, and I could barely breathe, knowing how just last year he told me that I, specifically, would never see him again as he would embark on the next phase of his Sage-training.

“Ew. I told you to comb your hair,” he groaned as he leaned his head away and examined my partially braided hair with a familiar disapproving expression.

“I actually do,” I said while grinning widely, feeling too happy to see him again to care about his judgement. “I was just working and it became a little tangled from flying.”

“What are these?” he asked while pulling at the ends of my hair.

“Braids. And, notice the curly wave? Similar to yours!”

“Yes, that’s what happens when you actually take care of your hair.” Cami scoffed, possibly hiding a smile, but his eyes turned away as he stepped back and withdrew his hands. “Sable. You have caused havoc amongst the Sage. Mt Hira is in uproar over your rebellious state. You must leave this place. You are not safe here.”

“Oh? Really? First, they banish me from my people, now they are still unsatisfied with my punishment? Isn’t that amusing.” I laughed, casting a typical smirk often used by the witty Tamarines, which only caused Cami to narrow his brows.

“This is not a laughing matter.”

“Did they think I would suffer in my new chosen life? Are they upset because I found happiness apart from the Teragane way of life, something they said was impossible? So, you’ve come to warn me? How about you return and tell those control-monsters to leave me alone?”

“The Sage control is not one to be challenged, I assure you. Please, you’ve already made your separation, why flaunt yourself for them to see? You must leave the area before you anger them further.”

“Why? So that they can prove that my evidential life apart from the Sage actually contradicts their cruel methods of keeping our people isolated? To silence me so that they could keep spewing their rigid ideologies to those still under their reign?”

“Stop being such an idiot! You’ve already made your choice to separate yourself, then why stick around? Why exemplify your betrayal?”

“Because it is not betrayal, but rather proof that life up there and isolated from others is the reality of cruelty!” I pointed up to the mountain while I snarled my teeth, and Cami tightened his gloved hands at his side, one clenching the owl mask he still held.

“They keep us isolated for what reason?” I continued. “They keep us controlled, for whose benefit? I am banished, but now I am not even allowed to reside within the same lands? I have been stripped from my people, but now I must live in hiding? For what reason? What cruel words do the Sage have for me out there in the summits that I keep away from out of respect? Do I not deserve to be respected? Where else should I go, Cami? How far would it be sufficient for the Sage?”

“Just stay in the cedar forest where you have already chosen to live.”

“And keep myself hidden? Ha! That is exactly what the Sage want, isn’t it? To wipe me out from their history documentation, to prove that leaving the colonies would only bring unhappiness. Why come here just to torment me with their rigid ways, pleading as if you were my friend?”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then, why? Why do you rebel against the Sage? You have exposed your identity to me. Isn’t that against the rules?” I breathed heavily, waiting for his answer, but all he did was bite his lower lip and look away as his mask slightly shook in his hand. “See? It’s easy, isn’t it? The Sage only want to hold us back from a life full of love and cherishing experiences, meaningful relationships, and isolate us in the dark where information and knowledge is withheld.”

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“It is true I am risking a lot to be here right now, for I have come to see you on my own accounts,” Cami said quietly while keeping his eyes down. “I fear for your safety if you stay out in the open like this. Just stay hidden in the forest where you have found happiness. Just stay there, and live your life.”

“No,” I jeered, causing Cami to lift his eyes, and I took a step closer to him and proudly raised my head. “I choose to live a life of freedom, not in fear of the Sage who only desire to control me. Do you know how much they keep us in the dark? Do you realize how much pain and suffering they cause by pretending our life should be separated from others of the land?”

“That’s enough—you have no idea what you’re speaking about.”

“I’ve learned so much in the past year. I have made friends, built great strength, and experience love on a daily basis. Do you realize how terrible isolation is for someone? Are you even happy with your life?”

“That—happiness is no concern of a Sage.”

“Do you know anything about the magic of the Sage? The blue light they produce? Where it comes from?” Cami’s eyes narrowed, and a sense of audaciousness rose within my chest. “Do you know that others can have magic? What about their lands, the histories of this world? Has the Sage even taught you anything about our connection to those we trade with? Do you even know what the Tamarines can invent? I’m even teaching one to fly.”

“Shut up!” Cami snarled, revealing his sharp canine teeth and his brown eyes darkened under his overgrown curly hair blowing in the cold wind.

“Yes, she built a glider and we are able to fly together. She is teaching me to read—we are even writing a proper historical book on the Teragane people.”

“That’s—”

“Yes, I know, against the Sage—oh, by the way—did you know that Tamarines can perform magic?”

Cami shouted as he threw his fist against my face, causing me to fly backwards, but I caught myself before hitting the ground. Fueled by anger, I took a swing at his jaw, but he dodged my punch and threw himself at my stomach, knocking me over, and then rose up as he threw another fist into my face. I grabbed his hand, and attempted to push him off, but he tightened his thighs around my waist and moved his other hand for another punch.

I had never wrestled with Cami before, not even as younglings, and was surprised at his anger-fueled attacks, but realized that his strength was waning as I twisted him off, and pinned him against the ground as I placed his neck into a headlock. He stretched his hand over his head and grabbed my hair, pulling tightly as he began to choke, then released his grip while desperately attempting to move my arm away.

“Stop fighting, and I’ll let go,” I demanded as Cami gasped for air. He dropped his hands and relaxed his body, and I released my arm, and pushed myself up and away from him. “Don’t ever punch me again.”

Cami wheezed as he held his hand against his neck, and coughed as he knelt on the ground, his wings twitching. Sweat dripped from the tips of his hair, and a few of his feathers were bent from my pinning. As his breathing stabilized, I wiped my mouth, realizing that it was bleeding, and I spat upon the ground.

“I don’t know why you’d come all this way to warn me then turn around and attack, but I refuse to hide myself from the Sage, or others of the Teragane,” I said, and Cami’s darkened eyes looked up at me from his bent over position. “I don’t think we can be friends—I cannot trust your intentions, nor can I ever bend my ways to the Sage ever again—the people you serve—the person you are becoming—I want nothing to do with any of you.”

I adjusted my cloak and satchel and smoothed my hair back as Cami stood up, his eyes still glaring, and the wind tossed his hair around his face that seemed paler than last I remember. His cheekbones were obvious upon his gaunt face, the dark circles under his eyes enhancing the resentment he had. Yet, for a moment, his eyes glistened as if he were about to cry.

“I don’t know what kind of life you choose to live, but I chose something different than what the Sage have demanded because I want to love the woman who I fell for—the only one who has ever known me for who I truly am,” I declared and my wings extended as I prepared to take off. “Actually, Lillie is the one who made the marmalade, the very one that you enjoyed—do you remember?”

Cami lowered his eyes, and his jaw tensed as he bent down to pick up his owl mask laying on the damp ground near the lake.

“No? Perhaps you don’t remember how often you asked to eat some,” I said, softening my voice, but Cami only hardened his.

“You truly are a rebellious idiot. I always thought highly of you.”

“At least I know what love is. Goodbye old friend. I have only ever wished the best for you.” I took off into the sky, refusing to look back as tears streamed down my cheeks and my heart raced within my chest.

Cami was my only childhood friend, the one who gave me a tattoo, and, despite his lecturing, seemed to accept me for who I was.

Yet, with the changes of the Sage’s expectation of his behavior, it was obvious that he valued their teachings and ways over our friendship. A sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make for anyone.

If a belief or state of rules demands for people to abandon each other—what kind of culture would that create? What room was there for love and companionship, friendship and laughter, hope and future plans?

I pondered these things and my interaction with Cami as I sat on a large tree branch within the labyrinth overlooking the library. My heart ached for my friend, wishing I knew why he’d risk revealing himself, only to turn around and slander my life and attack me. I never did understand him, for he seemed rigid in beliefs, yet utterly unhappy with anything—but, why would he come to warn me? What was his motive after leaving Hira almost a year ago?

I swiftly glided down past the bridges, through the narrow buildings, and landed upon the awning and opened the window, and a waft of delicious scents filled my nostrils.

“Sweetie!” Lillie shouted as she beamed while I entered the house, and Jamie strummed a chord while Lara and Historia also greeted me by waving as they stood in the kitchen, yet as I moved further into the main living area, Lillie paused before me. “What happened to your lip?”

“Nothing,” I lied, as she clasped her hand under my chin, and moved my head sideways.

“Don’t lie to me,” she scolded. “You’re bruised. Did you get into a fight? Did something happen at the farm?”

“Is Sable getting himself in trouble again?” Jamie joked as he swung his arm over Lillie’s shoulder. “Run into another master who fell in love with you?”

“Shut up!” Lillie shouted, then shoved Jamie aside. “Don’t joke like that!” He stumbled to the side, whimpering like a wolf-pup being scolded by its mother, and I slightly grinned, but Lillie looked up at me.

“It’s fine—we can talk later,” I said, and I leaned down to kiss the top of Lillie’s head, then moved past them as I removed my satchel and brought it into the kitchen where Historia and Lara were cleaning remnants of a dinner everyone had shared together. I pulled out the fish I had brought, placing each into the wash basin while Historia leaned against the counter at my side.

“Hey, you—whoa! Those fish are huge,” she exclaimed, and Lara came to my other side, asking if I was hungry.

“Yes,” I answered, then looked over at Historia who eyed me behind her large spectacles. “These are the last of the season—the lake will be frozen soon, and there is no more work for me at the farmlands. I also made a little money. I don’t know how much, but Keeli paid me today.”

I pulled out the small coin purse covered in fish slime, and Historia slightly grimaced as I placed it onto the wooden counter. Lara busily prepared a plate of dinner for me, and Lillie joined us in the kitchen, placing a hand behind my back as she leaned her head against my chest.

“You are quite resilient,” Historia said. “You should be proud of yourself. I know that I am.” I smiled and Lara handed me a bowl of stew, and Lillie grabbed my hand, and pulled me over to the low, ground table, inviting me to sit and eat.

“Hey, big fella. Hope I didn’t offend you,” Jamie said as he plopped next to me while Lillie sat at my other side.

“No,” I simply replied. “Why are you here? Don’t you have events to attend?”

“Ohh,” Jamie hummed as he crossed his legs, and his eyes darted while he picked up his lute. “Yeah—turns out elites don’t like rewarding entertainers who work extra hard to keep them happy. Turns out, the humble folk of the low class are where the money’s at.”

“Is that so?” I asked, but Lillie scoffed as Jamie kept his eyes from meeting mine.

“Don’t lie to Sable,” Lillie jeered. “You resigned because of what happened.”

“Yeah—that was a strong motivator,” Jamie said while raising his brows, and he strummed a chord. “Turns out, that whole house is full of deviants.”

Historia and Lara continued working within the kitchen, filling the air with fishy aromas, but Lillie and Jamie awkwardly tapped the surface of the table, shifting glances, and I began eating the stew.

“Do you enjoy the hard life of a farmer?” Jamie asked, attempting to break the discomfort. “Hey, Lillie, did you know that Sable has been thinking about being a farmer since—well, he’s had this idea for awhile.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lillie replied, and rubbed my hand, and I placed the bowl down after finishing the last drop.

“I’m far from a farmer, but, yes, I do enjoy it,” I replied, and wiped my lip, causing a surge of pain from the deep cut. My eyes winced, and, once again, Lillie looked up at me, obviously concerned.

“Hey—maybe you should try healing that cut,” Jamie said while shamelessly pointing to my face. “Come on, girl. Let’s see that magic in action!” I slowly turned my face, looking down at Lillie whose eyes widened at the idea, and she bit her lower lip while raising her hand up, and she rested her fingers upon the front of my lips. Pain surged again, but she closed her eyes while I waited for the healing sensation.

Although I had been lucid during the initial healing, I remembered feeling a sensation of coldness turn to warmth, and I waited for that similar experience, but, as Lillie grunted, and stiffened her fingers, I realized that nothing would happen—at least, for now.

“Gah!” she growled while slipping her hand away and glaring. “Why can’t I just figure this out?” I grabbed her hand, and intertwined our fingers together as I lifted her chin up with my other hand.

“Hey—it’s okay,” I replied. “Perhaps you just need more time to connect.”

“With what? With who?”

“Yeah, doesn’t magic just—well, magically appear?” Jamie asked as he tilted his head, causing his hair to fall to the side. “Or, are you just pulling a fast one over all of us?”

“I don’t know!” Lillie shouted, then pressed the palm of her hands against her face, and continued to growl as she shook her head. I looked over, observing both Historia and Lara glance over at us from the kitchen, and then leaned forward and placed my upon Lillie’s shoulder.

“Hey—it’s okay,” I whispered, and she peered through her fingers, then straightened up.

“Do—do you think I could speak with a Sage about magic?” she asked, and my hand stiffened upon her shoulder. “They may be able to guide me—like Lord—like we’ve heard. Maybe if I could speak with—“

“No,” I interrupted, then gripped her shoulder tighter while staring into her sorrowful eyes. I thought about Cami—I thought about the knowledge he would have—yet, our first interaction after nearly a year was indication enough that I could not trust anyone from the colonies of the Teragane.

Yet—what if—

“Do you remember my friend Cami?” I asked, and Lillie lowered her hands as she raised her brows.

“Uh—is he the one who gave you the clover tattoo?” she asked, and I nodded.

“I was approached by a Sage today—specifically Cami, who left Hira to become a Sage just last winter.”

“Ohhhh, the stew thickens,” Jamie whispered as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and sticking his rear out.

“I was surprised to see him, for it is forbidden for a Sage to reveal their identity, yet he did,” I said, and suddenly both Historia and Lara joined us around the floor table while the latter placed a basket full of biscuits in the middle. “At first, I was overjoyed to see my childhood friend. We even hugged—I had never hugged Cami before.”

“Such sadness,” Lara whispered as she frowned, and Jamie nodded as he patted his sister’s shoulder.

“At first, he seemed concerned for me,” I continued, more for Lillie than the others, but felt enamored by my new friend’s devotion to my background. “Then, suddenly, he turned against me, calling me an idiot, telling me to stop flaunting my rebellious behavior before the Sage and to go into hiding within the cedar forest and to—well, stay hidden. Then he punched me.”

“Seriously?” Lillie said while jolting her neck, and the others chimed in unison. “What kind of friend is that? You’ve already been banished. What more can the Sage do?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Well, actually,” Historia chimed while raising her hand that suddenly began fondling the piercings along her ear. “Perhaps that is a duly noted warning—you say he is part of the Sage, yes?” I nodded. “Then, he could know more than you do, and perhaps you should take his warnings with caution.”

“So, I should never leave the city, subject myself to the Sage—again?” I asked, and Lillie grunted.

“Nah, nah, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, only to heed the warning of someone obviously connected with the power-holders of your people,” Historia said and Lara nodded while sitting next to her. “Let’s not make any rash decisions—say, you said you’re gonna lay low from the farmlands anyway. Winter may be a good opportunity for the Sage to ease up on their suspecting eyes, yes?”

“They usually only come during the winter, at least, when I was a resident of Hira,” I replied, but remembered the occasional visit from the Sage for Cami’s training—yet, he was no longer on Hira. Wait—were they still coming throughout the year?

“So, we take this friend’s word of caution to heart, and, well, Sable, I’m sorry, but it seems that you may once again be subject to those opposing your life choices,” Historia said, and Lillie bobbed her head.

“Which is why we must be supportive at all costs!” she exclaimed, causing everyone to grunt in unison, and raise their glass of mead in which Lara had provided, and we all drank well into the night. Jamie began strumming music, and Lillie and Lara began dancing, inviting both Historia and I to join while we pranced around Jamie’s music making as the drinks flowed and the spirits were high.

I stumbled to the ground, feeling giddy with intoxication, initially fearing its debilitating effects, but upon being surrounded by those who I could trust, I didn’t mind so much, especially as the night drew to a close and we lay out our floor bed and Lillie and I snuggled together. Lara faltered into the bed with Historia, and Jamie wrapped himself in my wings, but as I drew close to Lillie, I felt enamored by my life choices all over again, knowing that I had made it upon the pursuit of happiness and all things I considered worth my sacrifice of suffering.