Chapter 20: When spring came, and so did the consequences of my actions

--SABLE--

For the first time in my existence, I spent the winter every day in the midst of others and in the shelter of something radiating with love and comfort. Lillie and I did venture out in the open for flying lessons, and she grew more confident and fluid with flying, riding air currents, and relying less on my efforts, at least in the air. It was a dream come true, flying with the love of my life—a dream, like any nightly illusions, full of mysterious events that were only furthering my confusion of the world I was born into.

Lillie had told me about the incident with Lord Orvin, including the magical interaction that she feared would cause further problems if Lord Orvin were to get involved in spreading further superstitions of her magical abilities as something to be feared. But, when Moritz came to bring me a final coin purse of wages, he left without further indication that the master would force havoc on our lives—at least, that we were aware of.

Although I was grateful for my friends willing to protect me, I feared Lord Orvin would eventually run out of patience and would attempt to extort me on accounts of forcing me to return to his estate, including threatening those who I loved by slashing their livelihoods with a flick of his hand. Why? I hadn’t the faintest idea other than being the only Teragane of Cedrus City—the only one who left their mountain security.

Regardless of my fears, my life seemed to run smoothly and without any more disturbances. Initially, I had nightmares of his clutches against my body, but often woke to the peaceful scene of Lillie sleeping next to me. I often wished to be more intimate with Lillie, but the foul memory sent a nervousness throughout my body, withholding me from wanting to explore more sensations. She seemed content with our relationship, why try to push anything else while I was still unsure how to remove such unfortunate memories?

Lillie continued to help Historia with her work, running the library, reading and writing, and we worked together to write as much information as I possessed about my culture. The excitement of her body’s reaction to Lord Orvin had brought hope that through emotional connection she would be able to discover how to control her abilities. But, it was still difficult to understand without clear guidance.

I had thought for a moment if I were ever to see Cami again to ask him—but that was a false sense of hope since he had only encouraged me to abandon my new sense of freedom. Why would he help anyway?

As spring approached, so did the upcoming discussion of visiting Historia’s family out in the north-east parts of Ciimera. Much needed to be prepared, obligations to tie up, and while waiting for our next adventure, I returned to the farmlands to help the farmers. Keeli and his village greeted me with enthusiasm, welcoming my anticipated arrival at the beginning of the season. They immediately put me to work, teaching me how to till the soil, plan for proper seeding, and I often carried heavy sacks of compost and flew to the various fields, assisting with mainly heavy-lifting.

It felt good to be physically active, for I had grown relatively weak over the winter. Each day, I felt incredibly sore, but satisfied with being involved with the laborious work that provided food security for the Tamarines.

“Tell me,” Keeli said while lowering a water canteen from his mouth, and wiped the excess from his lips. “Tell me, what made you leave your mountain?”

“Love,” I replied while scanning over the barren, brown land that would soon be lush after all our labor and the warmth of the sun.

“Really? That? Ho!” Keeli laughed a deep belly laugh, throwing his head back. “And such love banished you to the labor of the farmlands?”

“That was my choice. I enjoy physical labor and wasn’t very successful working within the city.”

“No? But, what about your own kind?”

“They are the ones who banished me, to be honest.”

“Bygones, your own kind banished you? Ah, so you had no other choice but to live amongst us? Such cruelty, for Tamarines are a harsh punishment for someone like you, wouldn’t you think?”

“I think it was less of an act of cruelty, and more of an inevitable move to try and prove a point—the mere force of rituals and traditions of ancient laws the Sage refuse to reinforce through historical documentation.”

“Ho! You say odd things.” Keeli leaned forward, grunted loudly, and rose to his feet as he brushed off his leather trousers. “Bygones, let’s be finished for the day. Rest up, mighty warrior, and know that your help will increase the harvest tenfold!”

A sense of pride filled my heart as the farmer leader whistled loudly to the others at the edge of the field, signaling the end of the work day, although the setting sun was also a main indicator.

“Oh, Sable,” Keeli said as he twisted his neck while I had already extended my wings. “We will celebrate the beginning of the season with a bonfire tomorrow—come, join us, and bring this love of yours. No work tomorrow—only celebrating with the last of the harvest of last year and cheers to a new successful one this year.”

“I’ll be there,” I replied, and Keeli nodded as he stroked his bushy mustache, running his fingers all the way through his beard.

“Splendid, mighty warrior of a cruel culture, see you then.”

I took off after waving goodbye to the others, and began flying towards the lake, routinely stopping after working in the fields, for the wash basin in the library house was hardly suitable for someone like me.

As usual, I caught fish after diving deep below the surface, but once again felt as if I were being watched while standing on the shoreline. I scanned around, partially hoping to see Cami again, but quickly dried off and dressed myself and returned to the library long after the sky had grown dark.

Dinner was already made, and I ate quickly with Historia and Lillie, who both were heading to the tavern for an evening of drinks and entertainment per Jamie’s request. Thankfully we didn’t stay long, for I was already nodding off after spending all day working, but I had nearly forgotten to ask Lillie to join me to the farmlands the next day.

“Must you always bring me to your work events?” she teased while I settled upon the floor bed after returning home. The scent of alcohol permeated from Lillie’s clothes, causing a pang of nausea as she drifted over to the pile of clothes she had yet to fold or put away.

“Yes,” I replied as I lay on my side wearing only sleeping shorts. She flung clothes aside, sniffing each to find something clean, and I laughed, wishing we had at least a dresser so that I could help put her clothes away.

“Alright, then, I’ll come—I’ll tell Historia I can’t help her tomorrow, but I don’t think she has anything important anyway.” I grinned, but my smile slowly shifted as she continued to grumble about not having anything clean and would need to find a day to do the washing.

“You can wear that pretty dress—you know, the one you said that isn’t for wearing outside.” Lillie paused as her eyes widened, and I looked over at the still wrapped box she had tucked upon a shelf. She sighed and dropped the clothes from her hands, and shifted over to grab the box. She slowly opened it, and then looked over at me.

“Close your eyes,” she said, and I spun around onto my stomach and buried my face into the pillow, suddenly feeling a flush of emotions rushing through my body at the thought of Lillie wearing something so—so—mmmm—delicious.

As I held my breath, I felt her slip into bed next to me, her warmth ever so near. She no longer smelled of alcohol, but of lavender, and other delightful aromas that permeated along with her natural, delicious scent.

I felt her lips upon my ear as she kissed me, then whispered goodnight, but I twisted my neck as I eyed the thin, floral silk night gown with ever so thin straps.

“It looks good on you,” I whispered while she blushed and hurriedly moved the blanket over her body, hiding what I so desired to see.

“Thanks—now, goodnight,” she said, then turned onto her side. I moved up against her back, feeling our bodies come together under the blanket, and nearly trembled as I glided my hand onto her side.

The rising sensation, flush of emotions, and desire to be closer overwhelmed me, but I forced myself to stay calm, even if it were to take every last ounce of strength I could muster from drifting my hands where they had never gone.

Morning was just as difficult to keep my desires at bay, but as Lillie spun around and lifted her leg over mine as she nudged under my chin with her nose, I held her closer, and kissed her lips.

“Morning,” she mumbled lazily, and drifted her fingers through my hair, and slightly tugged.

“Morning,” I replied, then slightly twisted over her, pressing my chest against hers as I kissed her lips again, causing her to slightly moan.

I moved my hand up her thigh, causing her leg to wrap behind my back, and another moan escaped her mouth as I pressed even more against her.

A flash of the sensation of Lord Orvin’s groping overwhelmed my mind, but my body was too stimulated with the tantalizing sensation of Lillie’s warmth and her seductive moaning increasing with each movement was causing my mind to go into a state of mania.

The closeness of our bodies, the softness of her lips, and the tender tugging of her hands within my hair drove me crazy, especially since I knew we loved each other—there was no lust, nor force, only love. I never wanted those sensations to end, and I felt lost to my own desires to linger within such intoxication as Lillie was fully reciprocating.

Crash!

Lillie and I flinched as we both twisted our heads, breaking us away from the intimacy as Grandfather Maggie stood guilty in the kitchen, holding onto a pot of steaming coals, and Historia jolted from her bed, screaming at the man, obviously awoken by the crash instead of us kissing. She rushed past us, and Lillie pushed me to the side as she nervously tucked her dress over her thighs. The whole morning grew into a frenzy as the old man shouted while Historia begged for him to stop messing up her kitchen.

I sighed heavily as I watched Lillie perform her daily ritual of attempting to find clean clothes, and realized that the only way for us to ever explore our desires was to live somewhere more private—a place where she felt comfortable enough to wear something as beautiful as that thin dress whenever she liked. Or, at least, where we didn’t have roommates disturbing us.

Either way, I readied myself easily, for I always kept my clothes folded and separated upon a shelf, and by the time we ate breakfast, I anticipated visiting the farmlands with Lillie—finally a work environment she could feel relaxed in—or, so I hoped.

Upon our arrival, the farmers had already begun creating a large bonfire, stoking its large flames for cooking a large animal carcass. The small village of twenty or so farmers greeted us, beckoning us to join them in preparation.

“Sable,” Keeli whispered while leaning close to me as his own wife and other womenfolk spoke with Lillie. “I had no idea you had fallen for a Tamarine. I thought for sure it was another banished Teragane. How odd you are, my good man! But what a looker! Although, her hair is white as snow—she can’t be that old, can she?”

“She is eighteen, like me,” I replied. “And yes, love does that to one—Tamarine, Teragane, male, female, or anything else that I have yet to discover.” Keeli handed me a clay pint filled with mead, cheering for me to drink in good health.

“Yes, love does strange things. Wonderful things!” Keeli said cheerfully. “See, my wife and I have been together for twenty years!”

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“Twenty?”

“Yes, my good man. Twenty years of hardship, bliss, but love and warm companionship.”

“That sounds like a great accomplishment.”

“I learned, as long as you take care of your loved ones, then one can conquer any hardships, come what may. This, yes, this is a fact. Life will always be hard. Who knows what the harvest will bring. Who knows what weather will permit. By, who can decide such things? Huh? No—not a soul can decide these unpredictable concepts of the world. But, we must face them, yet again, yes?”

“Yes,” I replied, although feeling as if Keeli was only speaking rhetorically.

“Life will always be hard, but it can also be good. Like you, for instance. Bygones! Who would have ever guessed my lucky stars that a banished Teragane would come to my village, offering his mighty strength and pure desire to only work? Huh? Not me! That’s for sure. Ho! ho! What a funny story.”

Keeli took a large gulp from his clay pint, and continued laughing to himself. We eventually joined the others in eating the last of the previous reserves of the harvest. Apparently it was tradition to eat a small reservoir of food stored for such an occasion, giving the farmers a sense of pride of what they accomplished in the previous year, and hope for a successful harvest for the upcoming.

As the drinks poured into empty cups, small portions of food disappeared into cheerful mouths, and the day progressed, I observed the happy state of the simple folk of the small farming village. They all bore vibrant skin tones of stormy undertones within their gray skin. Pointed ears were perked, slightly red with intoxication—or perhaps pure bliss—and their simple clothes of leather trousers and linen tunics were clean from avoiding any work that day. Only as the day progressed did their shirts increase in stains, whether with spills of alcohol, or drippings of animal fat from the cooked meats. Regardless, their demeanor was blissful, their attitude filled with simple pleasures of life.

I sat upon a bench at the wooden table, listening to the conversations of the common folk, Lillie sitting at my side. She happily conversed with the others, immediately being accepted by them, interestingly mingling well with those different from the city. I glanced down at Lillie, noticing her ability to easily blend in with any group of people she was with. I envied her gift, but later realized it was merely admiration for her social capabilities. Although the farmers appreciated me, they understood Lillie. She was like a soft summer breeze, recognized by anyone, and appreciated by all.

As the day progressed, the sun slowly made its way across the sky, and by the time I recognized the evening approaching, exhaustion from the social event began to wane upon my body. Lillie and I made our fullest gratitude of appreciation, and sincere goodbyes, causing all to beg for Lillie to return whenever she pleased—some I think even begged to immediately move into a vacant house. Lillie grabbed her glider, and I jumped onto my back, and I took to the sky. With a dramatic flip, she lifted off into the air, expanding the wings of the glider, and the small village slowly disappeared behind the mountains as we crossed through the pass.

“Oh! That was fun! I’m glad I came along!” Lillie shouted as we glided through the air. “Much better than sitting with a bunch of snobs!”

“Yes, they are wonderful,” I replied, feeling a warming sensation rush through my body. I was finally happy, knowing my love fully supported my endeavors. I began to wonder if she would consider moving out to the farmlands. Although I knew she enjoyed the complexities of the city life, I wondered if she would also enjoy the simple pleasures of farming life. Since she had the quick transportation of flight, perhaps she would recognize her new-found freedom, and expand her world ever so slightly.

“The lake! Let’s stop there!” Lillie called out, and she began descending towards the shimmering waters. I followed, but felt uneasy, since I often felt uncomfortable in that particular area. However, I knew I did not want to fear the threat of others, and descended alongside Lillie. We stopped on the shore, and she bent down to splash water across her face.

“When the weather grows warmer, will you bring me here to teach me to swim?” she asked, turning her curious expression towards me. “You did tell me you would a while ago, you know?”

“Of course,” I replied, and I felt a pang of nervousness, and scanned the area. However, Lillie squealed with joy, then scooped up water, drinking from her cupped hands, then poked around in the water with her curious hands, and then lifted a stone.

“Would you consider living out here?” I asked, and my wings twitched while I folded my hands behind my back.

“Maybe, it’s beautiful, and peaceful. However, I have a lot going on right now with Historia. Lara and Jamie would be disappointed. But, then again, we can’t forget our future trip at the end of spring.” She then looked over at me while still holding the rock. “Why? Do you plan on moving out here?”

“Only a thought. I enjoy the tranquility, the kindness of the farmers, and wouldn’t mind some privacy—with you. I’d like to kiss you for longer, and maybe have a bed big enough for both of us.” Lillie stood up while moving the rock into a pocket, and wiped her hands on her woolen cloak.

“Maybe eventually. But, I’d like to stay in the city. I think I have a lot still to learn from the people there. This is a good back up plan—especially if Lord Orvin attempts anything malicious.”

“Understandable. Only a thought for the future. Especially about that bed—and longer kissing.”

“Yeah, sure. Hey, let’s head back. Maybe we can visit the tavern, you know, catch Jamie’s latest music. Apparently he is composing a song about love. Ha! Like he knows anything about that.” Lillie shook her head, and then grabbed her glider. She moved behind me, and grabbed the top of my wing-blades, but I turned my face, showcasing my seriousness about my wishes. “What? Come on, let’s go!”

“I—I just want you to know I really like sleeping with you.”

“Oh, I know. I like sleeping with you too.”

“But—I also want—” My voice faltered as I turned my head, feeling overwhelmed by what I deeply wanted.

“I know, I know, you want longer kissing, a bed, a house. Hey! How about we get a pet next? A parrot, oh, maybe a dog? Or maybe Jamie is too much like a pet and he’s enough to take care of.”

“I want to feel more with you. I want to explore deeper desires—like, physically.”

Lillie loosened her grip from my wing-blades, and I slowly turned to face her as she backed away from me. Her eyes lowered, her cheeks reddened, and I moved my hand under her chin, but she then spun her back towards me while gripping her glider tightly.

“I—I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

My heart raced within my chest as I stared at the back of her head, watching her white hair bounce in the wind. Earlier that morning she allowed me to caress her body with sensual movements, yet now she didn’t want to pursue anything further? After all the inner conflict I was enduring, tainted by another man, yet I still wanted more with her. Would I ever understand my instinctual desires?

“Okay. I—I can wait,” I stuttered, and Lillie slightly turned her head, and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. “I don’t want to push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“It’s—well, it’s hard to allow myself right now. I love you and want to be near you. I’m just really happy with where we are at right now. One step at a time, yeah?” She moved her head around as she slightly twisted her body, and she twirled the ends of her hair with her finger. I grinned and nodded, realizing there wasn’t much opportunity for us to pursue a deeper, more intimate knowing of each other while we slept on the floor of Historia’s house, especially when others stayed over quite frequently. Yet, in my mind, a home of our own could fix that problem—even just a room to ourselves would be enough.

“I don’t want to jinx anything with any major changes, you know?” she continued while moving close to me. She placed a hand on my chest, and I moved my hands to her arms, grinning past my disappointment.

“I know. But, tell me when you are ready?”

“Of course my love. You’ll be the first to know.” She winked, then patted my chest and I squeezed her arm. “Plus, I want our time to be super special and not disrupted by others, yeah?”

“Yes—we can find a private room—the tavern has—”

“When I’m ready, I’ll make sure we have a proper place to explore deeper desires.” I nodded and breathed deeply, and leaned my forehead against hers. She pecked my lips, then asked to go, and I allowed her to climb onto my back. As I launched us into the air, she immediately caught the winds, flinging herself independently, and we flew across the land, passing over the valleys, and weaving paths far below as the sunlight dwindled into the horizon.

Although I wanted more physical intimacy with Lillie, I was thankful we could somewhat openly discuss future concepts together. The social environment was partly to blame for her hesitation, I was sure, and I felt even more motivated to do what I could to provide enough for us to eventually have a place for ourselves.

As spring was evident from the valley below, I suddenly realized all four seasons had passed since I first left the mountain in search of Lillie. A year ago, I had entered the cedar forest out of fear of Lillie’s absence. I had braved the unknown, maneuvered through the difficult complexities of the city, and entered a harrowing underground predicament that threatened Lillie’s life.

A year later, I was flying in the air with Lillie by my side—not even in my arms, but next to me with her own glider!

A year ago, I had thought all I needed to do was grow strong in physical strength in order to secure a future with Lillie.

What little did I understand what awaited me!

Yet, I still had yet to understand what other turn of events continued to wait for me—as such is life, so I resentfully discovered.

We descended straight down the clearing of the canopy, dodging bridges, buildings, and swiftly landing upon the street below. Lillie made a perfect landing, and quickly folded her glider into a staff, and we walked towards the tavern, which was already bustling with crowds as usual. Upon entering, Jamie’s face lit up even more-so, and his voice grew stronger as he continued his performance.

Think of all the days we spent running along the river

Speaking of dreams that would cause us to wonder

Howling to the moon like the wolves of the forest

Throwing stones at the ravens to calm their chorus

Always remember, love grows like the summers warming

But grows cold in winter, oh glorious warning

Make haste, she runs, make haste he flies

Remember their love, for ever she cries

As Jamie bowed from finishing his song, Lillie and I clapped, followed by the crowd surrounding him.

“How poetic,” Lillie chuckled while looking up at me.

“He gets better each day,” I replied as I wrapped my arm around Lillie. As if alerted by my comment, Jamie skipped towards us, smiling enthusiastically, flipping his lute behind his shoulder by its leather strap.

“About time you showed up,” he said while successfully twisting himself between us and throwing his arms around our waists. “What does a guy gotta do to get his best friends to visit at the start of my performance? Must I dance naked? Humiliate myself to the public?”

“Why? So, we have to rescue you?” Lillie joked as she wiggled away from his embrace, and returned to my other side, but Jamie still happily gripped tightly upon my tunic from the back, then pointed his finger up.

“If that is what it takes. Family disappointment wasn’t enough for my parents. Public humiliation must be the answer!”

“Why not tell us when you actually start instead?” I asked while looking down at Jamie as he bounced on his feet while nudging closer at my side.

“Anyone can give a time. I’d like for you to feel my presence long before I’ve begun, for my timing is never consistent,” he replied while making a ticking noise with his tongue. “Oh, that is too easy, my good man,”

“I thought you preferred life the easy way?” I continued.

“Only for me. I prefer to make myself a problem for everyone else.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Lillie replied while rolling her eyes, and both chuckled as they held me on either side in the crowded tavern. Suddenly, a loud crash came from the entrance of the tavern, and all three of us twisted to look out the window where blurs of motion passed by the filthy glass.

Indistinguishable shouts erupted while people rushed past, and someone from the tavern trudged over to the swinging doors and the eruption of chaos echoed through.

“Fire!” a shout cried from outside, and the man bolted out, followed by others.

“Fire? That’s not good,” Lillie said, and while the exit became crowded, she grabbed my hand and we weaved through to leave the tavern.

As we entered the street, I could smell a strong scent of burning wood, and sounds of panic and confusion filled the air. Lillie turned to face me while still holding my hand, and Jamie grabbed my other arm, looking confused, speaking dramatically about the unnecessary alarm for a neighborhood cookout.

“Let’s go,” I said, and the three of us hurried down the street filled with more Tamarines entering the narrow passageways, and we followed the scents—we followed the cries.

As we entered the market space, clouds of smoke piled out from the street that was leading somewhere all too familiar.

The stronger the fumes, the increase of fear grew within my heart. We ran with the crowds, past intact buildings, and through the familiar streets of where Lillie and I had been living happily—but, no longer.

“Historia!” Lillie cried as the scene unfolded. Giant red and orange flames engulfed the entire row of buildings where the library stood.

Children ran past with tears streaming across their ash-covered faces, and the Keepers ran towards the fire, holding massive barrels of water as other Tamarines attempted to put out the flames.

I steadied my footing to make a bolt towards the flame, but Lillie grabbed my arm, and I looked over at her tear-filled eyes.

“Sable, please! Don’t!” she shouted while tugging my arm, and Jamie shook his head, stating that it would be too dangerous for me to help.

“I can help!” I shouted while jerking my arm away. “I can—”

“No! Look!” Lillie said as she pointed a finger up. I followed her direction, and upon the rooftop of a fourth-level building, I spotted something I had never, ever expected to see in the dense city of Tamarines.

A group of Teraganes stood while the glow of the fires cast upon their owl masks as they peered down at me.

How? No, they—they wouldn’t.

Would they?

Filled with rage, I pounced up, casting all concern for Jamie and Lillie screaming at my side, and ascended towards the group I once called my own. The sounds of panic from the city people desperately trying to put out the fire faded as my attention focused only on the real perpetrators of my suffering.

I landed in front of the Teraganes—my mind only settling my anger once in for all—blinded to my sense of invincibility due to my ignorance.

“What have you done?” I shouted while the four Sage stood unmoved—but, to my utmost surprise, Kora and Deruk stood between the masked Teragane, looking frightened as the glow of the fire bounced across their faded skin.

“You! Bastards!” I screamed and lunged after the closest Sage with a powerful swing, but they lifted their hand, and a light surged from the palm of their gloved hand, and struck against my abdomen.

I fell to my knees, breathless, and darkness overcame my mind, body, and soul.

The sounds of mayhem faded, and I drifted off into a state of unconsciousness with only the sensation of slowly losing control over everything I fought to build for myself.