Chapter 5: Where desperation ignites light

--LILLIE--

One too many times had I witnessed the horrors in which the Keepers were capable of igniting, yet never did I expect to see Sable unleash a beast-like fury in defense of their attacks. I shook in my boots, incapable of processing the action unfolding before, nor could I comprehend the aftermath of who would come out alive.

Yet, as two Keepers came after Sable as he pinned the third, it was obvious that he was outnumbered and fear struck my heart, but not as deep as the wounds spilling blood as Sable faltered around the empty market covered in shattered hopes and fish flesh.

“Sable!” I screamed as I ran to his side, and caught him as he staggered and blinked lucidly. In the blur of chaos of onlookers gasping, incapable of doing anything as blood and wooden maces swung in the air, a Tamarine man had stepped between Sable and the Keepers, giving me a chance to run to his side. I heard the man speak boldly with demands of halting the destruction as I began dragging Sable away, but my only thoughts were to get him away from it all and tend to his wounds—to get him to the doctor in hopes he could survive.

I wrapped a scarf around Sable’s torso, but dared not waste a moment of precious time as he tripped while walking with his arm over my shoulder, coughing as he wheezed through the pain, and I looked over at the scene, afraid the Keepers would come after us, but instead only caught a glimpse of the tall Tamarine man, taking notice of his starkly white hair nearly glowing in the crowd of earthy tones.

“I’m sorry,” Sable uttered as we turned the corner into the neighborhood. “I’m so sorry Lillie. Please—“ Bloody vomit hurled from his mouth onto the street, causing me to pause as he coughed through the vicious acts.

“Lillie! Sable!” the neighbor Olga shouted as she peered out over the balcony of their house above the tool shop. I pleaded for her to retrieve the doctor, in which she quickly hurried down as I continued moving Sable through the street to my house. As we climbed the stairs, the scene reminded me of bringing Thabias home after a Keeper attacked him at the allotment, and I had hoped that Olga hadn’t forgotten my good deeds of saving her son, and did everything she could to bring healing for someone utterly dear to me.

“Mother!” I cried as we entered the hall, and Sable slipped onto the ground, knocking me to my knees as a wing limped over my back. My mother’s disgruntled voice suddenly switched to screeching as she helped me lift Sable to his feet again, and we directed him to the kitchen where thankfully a fire was already ablaze with a iron kettle whistling.

“What has happened?” my mother demanded as I pushed Sable to lay onto the table, and I quickly grabbed his torn tunic, pushing it up towards his chest, and unraveled the blood-soaked scarf, immediately revealing the horrors of his wounds.

“Get the needle and thread ready!” I shouted as deep gouges from his stomach oozed flesh and blood, and I barked for plantain and yarrow leaves. “We need to stop the bleeding!” I ran to my room and gathered cloth material suitable to wrap his body, and as I reentered the kitchen, I slipped on the spilled blood as sweat piled on my forehead. Sable groaned as he twisted his neck, and his body began to twitch as his limp wings drooped over the edges of the table.

As he attacked the Keepers, he was like a wild beast protecting me from a bigger threat. Now, he was a wounded prey struck by agonizing pain moments before death.

What could I do to save him?

“Hang on Sable!” I cried as I placed the cloth around his abdomen, and beckoned for my mother to hurry preparing the tools.

Everything was red. The moment the herbal leaves were placed or the cloth was set, it disappeared behind the crimson wetness of blood, and Sable began moving less.

I placed my hands upon his wrapped, but utterly torn body, and began calling out, begging for help.

“Please stop!” I cried, thinking only out of desperation. “This can’t be! He doesn’t—“

I grabbed a large cloth and threw it over his torso, tucking the ends under his back, but blood kept flowing, and his brown, warm skin began to drain of its rich color.

“Sable!” I screamed and looked up at his flickering eyes and gaping mouth. “Stay with me!” My mother handed me the prepared needle, but then stepped back and folded her hands, tears welling in her eyes, and I looked up while pressing my weight upon his stomach that was suddenly no longer moving.

“Stay with me!” I shouted again, holding back the tears as I steadied my hand and started at the wound where his ribs were protruding beyond the torn flesh. Sable had stopped moving as I thrust the needle into the thick skin, attempting to pull the open wound together by sutures, but there wasn’t enough flesh to cover the exposed ribs.

The image of the dying deer in the forest flashed before me, and I tucked the cloth over his exposed body again as tears trickled down.

No. Not Sable. Please. Not him.

“Sable!” I screamed, and slightly shook him, and a quiet breath escaped his mouth. “Stay with me! Don’t—don’t die on me, you hear?”

Was this how it would end?

After all this time, after all we’ve gone through, was this how my life would turn out?

Was I really destined to lose anyone who came close to me?

If there is anything good in this life, let this man be saved, for he is more than just a wounded deer in the woods. Let him survive this!

I had never prayed before, but I thought about the trees, the forest, and the animals. Flashes of the wounded deer, the black wolf with red eyes, and the ravens watching me high in the tree limbs came to my mind as I closed my eyes and pressed my hands upon my dying love.

Please. Let him survive this. He deserves to live.

I felt the pulsing of Sable’s body connect with my hands, and I could sense something deeper, something more intuitive suddenly surge through my body as the flashes of the animals of the forest continued to swirl through my head. I heard the sound of the underground heartbeat, the earth’s low rumbling, and a strike of lightning echoed in my mind.

But, then, tall antlers appeared, rising in the darkness of the forest in my visions, and the bloodied deer lay on the ground, breathing its last.

No! Let me save him like the wolf! Please!

The antlers rose, but not of the deer, but upon a fury figure—one surrounded by light.

Lillie, a celestial voice rang. Lillie—my child.

“Lillie!” my mother gasped, and my eyes jolted open.

Swirling blue light came from my palm of my hands, and spread across Sable’s bloody body as it congregated across his wounds. Although blood was everywhere, I could feel Sable’s heartbeat grow steady again, and the warmth within began to return as I breathed heavily, watching the magical light grow stronger, then slowly fade away.

My mother shrieked as she wedged herself into the corner of the kitchen, and as the light grew dim, I peered under the cloth over Sable’s abdomen and no longer saw his bones protruding.

The wounds had sealed—his skin returned.

While Sable lay completely still, seemingly unconscious but breathing consistently, I looked at my blood covered hands no longer glowing with light, and blinked rapidly, unaware how my insignificant hands could have ever produced something capable of healing fatal wounds.

The voice—the antlers—the glowing light of my visions.

How? How did this—what does this mean?

“What are you?” my mother gasped as she stared at me as if I were a ghostly spirit. “What have you done with my daughter?”

A loud knock, and a burst of force came from the hall, and the neighborhood doctor came surging through the kitchen area. He ran directly towards Sable’s unconscious body, and immediately began examining his abdomen as he pulled back the cloth I had readily wrapped Sable in. He looked at the the pools of blood, the scars, and eyed his figure with a puzzled expression. The neighbors, Olga and Torrence, Thabias’ parents piled in from the hall, and I heard more people gather upon the balcony, as if the whole neighborhood was terrified of losing Sable after the attack of the Keepers.

Yet, as I stiffly stood next to the doctor who had ripped off the cloth and was examining the bloody, but healed body, I hardly knew what to expect from such turn of events.

“Where are his wounds?” the doctor asked. “Olga said he was torn up by a Keeper. What is this? Is this some kind of joke?”

“What happened Lillie?” Olga whimpered while Torrence held his wife’s shoulder.

“Did he die?” Torrence asked, his aging eyes straining to see Sable’s condition.

“It’s her!” my mother shouted as she pointed a trembling finger at me. “She healed him with blue light! He was nearly dead, then she incanted a spell—now he is alive!”

I slowly turned my neck, facing my mother as tears still trickled down my cheeks, but, after all the years of my existence under my mother’s rule, she gazed upon me as if I were no longer her daughter, but truly a vermin in need of purging.

“That’s not Lillie!” my mother screamed, causing the doctor to look again at the wounds as he attempted to wipe away the blood in search of some evidence of the accusations. “She’s a witch disguising herself as my daughter. I knew it. This whole time. She’s been deceiving us all. I saw it. Light came from her hands and healed his wounds. Only a witch—a demonic devil could perform such sorcery!”

My mother scurried over to the hall near Olga and Torrence as the doctor examined Sable again, who began to stir, and all I could do was stare at my hands as words failed while my mind swirled.

In fear of losing Sable, I began calling out to something beyond myself—was it witchcraft?

The voice—the celestial voice had called me—their child.

Was I someone else?

As a child, I heard the stories of evil witches stealing children away if they were naughty and using their blood to stay healthy and beautiful. Gremlins were also creatures of magic who would haunt naughty children. Demons? Absolute worst of all things magical and evil—yet, these were simply stories to strike fear in disobeying children.

Or, was it all true after all?

Sable twitched, then moved his head, and the doctor immediately crouched down to examine him as my mother began spewing theories of when her daughter had been stolen away by some witch, and both Olga and Torrence eyed me suspiciously as I stepped backwards, away from them all—too stunned to speak, too afraid to tell anyone of the voices, the visions, the premonitions—anything that would only enhance their superstitions of me always being one a little too wondrous for their ideals and expectations of who a Tamarine should be.

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“Hello, hello,” the doctor said while prying into Sable’s eyes that flickered. “Wake up boy. Do you feel odd? Feeling possessed? Has the witch healed you on accounts of—“

Sable jolted up, causing the doctor to stumble backwards as his wings fluttered open and flicked blood all over the kitchen floor, causing the others to cower even further away. His crimson eyes darted until he spotted me standing in the corner.

“Lillie,” he uttered as he looked down at his stomach, and pools of blood dripped along the edges, but began drying upon his healed skin.

“Marie—we may need to cleanse your house,” the doctor mumbled, causing Sable to look over his shoulder at the staring eyes of the four adults piling in the doorway as they cautiously huddled together.

“What happened?” Sable asked, looking at the doctor, then back at me. “Why—“

“Sable may be a demon after all—or a familiar of the witch,” the doctor suggested, and both my mother and Olga placed a hand over their mouth while Torrence tilted his chin up. Sable slipped off the table, ignoring the comments coming from the others, and walked over to me while I stiffly stood with my back against the counter, too afraid to speak as those I had known for all my life were accusing me of being something worthy of cleansing.

“What happened?” Sable whispered as he stood next to me and grabbed my hands, looking down at our bloodied skin.

“I—I healed you,” I uttered as I grabbed his hands and looked over at the others who were whispering how to rid the home of evil spirits.

“Sable! That witch has performed sorcery—get away!” Olga shouted with a trembling voice, causing him to glare as he looked right at them.

“Healing is not something to fear,” Sable confidently stated as he allowed our fingers to intertwine. “Healing is a gift—the Sage of the Teragane use it to keep our people from falling to a early demise.” He then turned and looked at me. “I didn’t know Tamarines could also perform healing spells.”

“I didn’t either,” I said with a shrug.

“Demon!” the doctor shouted as he gathered his leather bag. “Witches feed off the souls of the innocent! They only cause problems and must be cast out!” He then pushed by the others as he ran out of the hall. In a frenzy, the neighbors followed after him, leaving my mother trembling in the doorway.

“Marie—there is nothing to fear,” Sable calmly said.

“Nothing to fear? My daughter has been consumed by a witch!” she shrieked while pointing her finger. “It probably happened in the mine, didn’t it? After the incident? You didn’t bring back Lillie, you brought a witch! You’re both here to consume our souls! You’ve deceived us all, you wicked creatures.”

“That’s absurd,” Sable replied, but my mother shook her finger.

“Get the hell out of here—get the hell out of my house you evil creatures!” She narrowed her face while sticking her nose up with a final expression of utter dread, then she spun away, following the others, and I released a gasp as I pressed my hand against my chest, feeling as if I would fall.

“Sable—we—we can’t stay here any longer,” I whimpered as he held my arms. “They’ll be back—they might—“

“Then let’s leave.”

“Where?” I looked up as Sable smiled, and his eyes glanced to the side.

“To the meadow. We are always safe there and we can figure something out after we get away from others who may cause us harm. They seem a little frantic at the moment, and, honestly, I have no intention of discovering what it means to be cleansed.“ Sable placed a hand upon his stomach, and moved his fingers up the gathered material near his chest, and pulled out something thin. His eyes softened as he examined the blood stained paper, causing my heart to ache how hard he had fought to retrieve our papers for the fish stall. “The papers and fish-stall have been destroyed, but we still have each other—that’s all that matters.”

Would that be enough?

For the first time, I ignored the mess I had made in the kitchen, but quickly pumped water into a wash basin to clean up my skin while I still had the chance, and Sable attempted to cleanse his body from all the blood. Upon his stomach, three large scars were left behind, but his body had made a complete recovery from the initial attack, and he moved perfectly normal as if his health had been completely restored. I could hardly understand how he could have survived being torn open, but had no time to think about what magic had been produced by something deep within.

As I hurriedly packed clothes and a few of my belongings into a wicker basket and Sable took what little he had into a rucksack, my mind swirled with questions about this sudden ability to heal fatal wounds through magic. Yet, the concept of being accused of witchcraft and now being cast from my home caused me to wonder what kind of future I could have. Would everyone in the city now fear me? What about my friends? Would the whole neighborhood come together to cause us harm?

What does it all mean?

Sable and I hurried onto the balcony that was thankfully clear from anyone else, but the streets below were noisily bustling with loudly excited neighbors. A murmur of slurs, quiet accusations rolled from below, and I peered over the railing as children ran through the streets, laughing as they sung the old rhymes of witches sending gremlins after naughty children. My heart raced as I saw my father suddenly approach my mother near a group of neighbors. He was covered in dirt, his hands filthy from work, but he listened intently as my mother continued speaking horridly about her theories of a witch consuming me and summoning Sable to curse them all.

“Let’s go,” Sable whispered in my ear as he placed a gentle hand upon my waist, and slightly tugged on my blouse, moving me away from the railing. My boots felt as if they were full of water, and only by Sable’s gentle guidance could I move as I looked up at his soft expression. He then turned around and allowed me to climb onto his back, then moved forward as he prepared to flee.

With a powerful jump and a screech from below, Sable flew past the overhead bridges and to the canopy of the cedar tree branches. The accusing voices from below faded away, and if any were against the absurdity of the crowd, it only fell upon deaf ears, and I refused to look back at the neighborhood I once sought to help and strengthen, now was being cast from as if I were a disease to be hated.

My heart ached for all the years, the sweat and blood, the kindness I showed, and all the people who I thought I was helping on the sake of caring for others, despite their lack of reciprocation. I wanted to be better than the system controlling Cedrus City, to give when I had plenty, and provide help when given the opportunity.

Was it all for nothing? What kind of life could I have now?

***

The familiar scene of a fire crackling in the stone fireplace within the meadow felt comforting, but never had I sat in front of it under the starry night. Sable had left to gather fish for a evening meal, and I foraged around for summer foods of berries and mushrooms. We ate in silence, still shaken up from the events of the day, but my mind began to wonder how the hell we would even survive without anything to our name.

“We could build a house in the trees if you want,” Sable said as he sat next to me, dreamily gazing at the cedar forest behind the fire.

“Yeah? With what tools and material?” I asked, causing his smile to fade. “You could barely fix a balcony, let alone build a house. Sable, we can’t stay out here. We have to go back.”

“And what? Be tormented even more? Live everyday as if money was the only thing that mattered?”

“Or what? Stay here and live like wild beasts? It’s summer and warm, but what happens when winter comes? Huh? You cannot fly in winter—we have no shelter, nothing sustainable grows during the snowy season.”

“Okay, then what else can we do?” I anxiously adjusted the skirt over my folded knees as tears began welling in my eyes, feeling as if no matter what we did, we would always be unable to get past surviving.

“Let’s go to Jamie and Lara’s. They won’t throw us out.”

“How do you know?” I rolled my eyes and looked over as Sable leaned near me, his stretched out arm resting behind my back.

“They were already convinced I was some type of magical nymph.”

“What about the parents? I recalled they weren’t as accepting. And, how long would they even accept us living with them? Lillie. Let’s just leave this area entirely and seek something beyond the mountains. Let’s find a new village, or somewhere else where we can—“

“Are you serious? How could we ever make it on our own? And—and now I have some weird magical abilities that I know nothing about. No! I need help—I need information—I need—“ I paused as my eyes suddenly widened, and Sable titled his head as his hair slightly swayed to the side. The fire popped loudly and I looked up at Sable who leaned his face closer to mine. “I need to visit an old mentor—if anyone can help me, it would be Historia.”

“Who?” The orange flames reflected against Sable’s dark skin, and his crimson eyes reminded me of the bloody mess of his near death experience. I hardly could contain the emotional turmoil of the day, but the sudden desire to return to the library finally gave me a sense of hope.

“Historia is the one who taught me to read and write. She will accept us. She accepts everyone, especially those who are different. She can help me.”

“Then, let us visit her—tomorrow.” I nodded my head, and Sable drifted his hand against my cheek, allowing his finger to trace my jawline as he leaned his lips into mine. For a moment, I indulged his affection, feeling guilty for being un-reciprocal most days, but in heightened emotions of seeing Historia again after so many years, the very idea of bringing Sable with me reminded me of her once encouraging me to do so when we were younger.

“Sable,” I muttered between our lips parting, causing him to only hum in response as he kept his eyes closed, his hand firmly upon my neck, unwilling to lose the moment of intimacy. “You—what do you know about magic?”

“Hmm?” he grunted, and I slowly moved my head further back.

“You said the Teragane Sage use healing spells.”

“I have only heard of it. Never witnessed it. But, I did have the Eternal Fire, which was a never dying blue flame brought by the Sage. My friend in training also spoke of the Sage knowing magic, but I was never informed about anything. It just—existed. It was part of life, like the changes of the seasons, or the setting of the sun.”

A cold wind blew through my loose, white hair, and smoke swirled in the air as the dying flames flickered within the stone fireplace we had made just a year ago. As Sable held his hand upon my cheek, I couldn’t help but want to ask more, but as he licked his lips and eyed me intently, I wondered if Historia would know more about magic, and what wonders would await for us by reuniting with my original mentor who had changed the trajectory of my life.

Perhaps, she would so again.

“I’m really sorry about today,” Sable suddenly said as his thumb stroked my skin. “I acted foolishly by attacking the Keepers. I should have remained calm by only pulling us aside rather than physically reacting.”

“Yeah, that was absolutely idiotic of you. Don’t do that again,” I said sternly, but Sable turned his eyes away as his lips lowered into a frown. “But, I do appreciate you attempting to defend us. But, you can’t win a fight against three Keepers. If that guy didn’t stop them, they would have shredded you even more. Don’t do that again. Okay?” Sable nodded his head as he lowered his hand and suddenly turned to face the dying fire as he folded his legs in front of him.

“How did that man stop them just by his voice?”

“I don’t know. Probably was some tax-regime leader. He was obviously an authority figure the Keepers would listen to.”

“Maybe that’s what we need to do instead.”

“What?”

“Have an authority position. It seems that honest-hard-work doesn’t get us anywhere. You’ve been miserable since the moment I got here.”

“That’s not true.” Sable glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and I turned away, knowing that he was absolutely correct. I hated the life of mediocrity, and although I loved him being at my side as my official boyfriend, I found it difficult to feel the happiness we once shared while escaping to the meadow.

“I’ve observed how miserable you still are in this life. I cannot help but wonder if you’ve been destined for something bigger, something more than just the basic way of city life. More than just selling fish every day in the market. More than just serving your parents and fulfilling a duty created by mediocrity. Maybe the magical abilities has been part of you for a long time and has now be awoken to guide you to a better path. Like the Sage guide the Teragane, maybe you also need a guide.”

“You’re absolutely correct,” I admitted while looking up at the twinkling sky. The stars flickered, and I began taking account of all the different sizes, wondering how many stars there truly were in the sky. Under the canopy of the city, I had never seen the stars shine so brightly, even though clouds partially covered the extent of the sky.

“I’m glad that you can agree. Because I want you to be happy, and you are so much more than what others are willing to accept. Your neighbors have known you for how long? Only to turn around and call you something they aren’t even able to confirm? What even is a witch? And why is it something to be feared?”

“It’s just folklore—superstitions I’m sure were created to label anyone as something bad if they did not comply with the rest of society. I can assure you that my mother had convinced the whole neighborhood that I was a gremlin when I was a child. The folklore of elusive creatures has always been heavy within the community, especially with anyone—well, different—like me.”

“Then, let us be different together—for I’d rather be who we are and take a different path than the average person—Tamarine or Teragane. It is obvious that our journey of life is beyond the expectations of traditional paths. So, let us keep pursuing what we deem worthy. That would be the most reasonable direction.” I leaned onto my back while still gazing up at the sky, and moved my arms over my head. I sighed deeply, feeling suddenly the exhaustion overtake my body, and Sable lay next to my side as we both lounged on the blanket I had brought. He extended a wing over my body, sheltering me from any wind, then nudged his face against mine as he drifted his hand across me, resting his hand upon my shoulder.

“Then, let us take a different path since we are oh, so special.” I turned my face, then slowly allowed my body to turn, and I placed a hand upon his cheek. The fire barely crackled, but by the light of the shining moon, I could see Sable’s eyes glow as he gazed upon me, and I nudged my nose against his.

“Now, can I taste you a little longer tonight?” he asked as his warm breath cast upon my face.

“Sure,” I replied as I drifted my fingers through his black hair that had grown rather soft and textured, then allowed his lips to meet mine, and, for once, I didn’t have to worry about the sounds that followed for there was no one to hear but the animals of the forest, and they didn’t seem to mind.