CHAPTER 7: Woe Is Me

CHAPTER 7: Woe Is Me

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The modestly cosy room was lying in utter shambles as if it was hit by a violent tornado. In reality, it was hit by youthful temper and frustration.

So yeah, basically the same thing.

The cramped space seemed tighter with random things spread all over every available surface making movement more restricted but such a trifling detail did not affect the heightened angst present within the room, especially when it was the cause of this disarray. The room belonged to a young woman as displayed by every detail within it.

"Where is it?" Ella mumbled to herself as she looked through all the drawers of her study table. She wasn't being patient and it was obvious in her jerky movements and hasty mannerism. Her face was set in a frown as she pushed her dark hair away when they fell in front of her olive-brown eyes, distracting her from the 'search' she was occupied with.

Her grey bag was sitting on a side, empty as the day it was bought. All its contents were made to spill across the carpet, her books were in a messy heap with her wallet sitting on top, a few pens had fallen over each other, a pack of gum sat idly and her chapstick tube had rolled away to seek safety from a corner.

The sun was sinking outside the window turning the sky a mellow shade of tangerine as it slowly took the daylight away but Ella was not aware of anything but the turmoil she had effectively trapped herself in. Clothes of all shapes, styles and colours lay on the small bed forming a tiny mesa which hid a laptop that sat underneath, forgotten... suffocating in the darkness blanketed by a variety of fashion.

The tiny closet that barely managed to hold all essentials was ripped open, most of its contents spilling out. Books, big and small were misplaced all over the floor in unsteady piles like balancing cairn rocks while the bookshelf was neglected and pitifully forlorn.

The mess of her room was a representation of her mind; it depicted her inner chaos in a physical, tangible space. No one could walk in without stepping on something or knocking something over.

Ella's roommate of one year, Nora managed only a few aghast and cautious steps through the labyrinth before coming to a standstill. "What the heck happened here?" She said, horrified at what she saw.

Nora's best friend Daniel followed her but didn't dare step in, he was a tall, intimidating guy with his swimmers' physique but even he didn't try to attempt an entry, his blue eyes went wide as he looked around and ran a hand through his unkempt dark hair. "Woah... did you guys get robbed? The robbers must be super disappointed if they thrashed your place this badly..." He made a poor attempt at his apparent humour which was completely ignored.

"Ella did this..." Nora said flatly. She was a short girl with long dark hair, brown eyes and a fierce personality, and right now she didn't look pleased.

"What! Ella don't rob your own place! There's no gain in that, a bank would have been a better choice..." Daniel didn't give up on his lame jokes.

"I've lost it." Ella looked up at them from where she was on her knees near the desk, distraught and distressed at her realisation.

"If you're talking about your sanity then I completely agree," Nora said.

"The diary... it's not here. I don't know where it went." She repeated, almost as If she didn't hear anything else over the terrible sinking fear.

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The next morning was restless, Ella couldn't think of anything but the diary that she apparently misplaced. She couldn't recall where exactly it could have disappeared.

Her roommate and Daniel were quite understanding the previous day when she finally explained about 'her' lost diary. They even helped her look for it before giving up and tidying the whole place.

Ella felt really guilty as she claimed the diary as her own but she couldn't really tell Nora and Daniel what exactly it was without getting some weird looks in return.

She could just imagine what she would have said 'So the thing is I found this diary with very personal letters and instead of returning it to the owner like a normal person, I decided to take a demented route and write back to a stranger who has no idea of my existence... no biggie haha.' Yeah, that wouldn't have gone over so well.

She sighed and in an automated manner she analysed her blue striped crop top and black cargo pants, her marginally wavy brown hair hung limply down till her shoulders like ropes since they were damp, yet she didn't feel like doing anything about them. Ella looked at herself in her body length mirror while her thoughts were very well away from her.

She was about to reach for her white shoes when her phone rang lying face-down on her bed and she changed course. She picked it up and smiled for the first time that day when she saw her brother's name flash up on the screen, "Hello Stranger!" She greeted him.

"I should be the one to say that..." His defensive voice said, "You haven't called me for more than a month, ever since you started college you've pretty much forgotten me." Ella could imagine his jaw tensing and brows furrowing like every time he was even a little bit guarded.

"Aww...are you having withdrawals?" She teased.

"Maybe I depend on you too much sometimes..." He admitted jokingly.

"At least you're aware, and I didn't call because I knew you were busy with your work and tour and god knows what else but I text you all the time." She reasoned.

"I do read them!" He was somehow justified in his own mind.

"And you're supposed to reply... or should I walk you through that complex process?" She asked with mockery.

"Alright stop, you made your point, I'll try to reply and call more often." He relented. "I just wanted to know if you have some time off next week?"

Ella tried to think of her schedule, "Sounds unlikely? Why what's up?"

"I'm gonna be back in the city, thought we'd meet up over desserts...?" He suggested and she smiled.

"Desserts reminds me dad tried to bake cupcakes at home and set the kitchen on fire..." she informed.

"Ah, that's what the fire alarm notification was about..." He said as if recalling something as unimportant as last week's weather.

Ella blanked at his monotone, "and you didn't call him to know if he was alright...?"

"I figured he'd have dealt with it..." He said simply. "I doubt an arsonist attacked him."

"What if that was the case?" She challenged him.

"I-I guess he would have dealt with that too." He stammered.

"You are a lost cause, if I didn't know any better I'd think you don't care..." She told him flatly.

"But I do care," he said and she repeatedly wanted to face-palm herself until she lost all sensation in her face. "Tell me if you want to meet for desserts?" He asked again.

Her mind paused on 'desserts' and she thought it over, "Maybe, it's doable..., I'll let you know" Ella mumbled lowly, she could clearly describe the wicked smirk he most definitely had on his face for making her waver, he certainly knew all her weak spots and didn't hesitate to poke at them.

"Alright..." He said and added, "I have to go now, need to get back to my work, don't forget to call me, love you."

"Love you too..." Ella smiled, "Bye." she mumbled and hung up. Her relation with her brother was more like best friends, he was probably a reason why she never wanted to look for friends elsewhere and retreated into her introverted shell.

That phone call had distracted her for a short moment but soon all the thoughts converged turbulently back to the problem at hand.

She pulled on her shoes and grabbed her small grey bag, the one that had regurgitated all its contents the night before but now was packed and fine. Exiting her room, with a worried frown on her face, she walked towards the 'lost and found' section of the campus after thoroughly searching every place she could think of.

She didn't want to get her hopes up but right now she was desperately banking all her faith on finding the diary among the lost belongings that had been turned in by some kind soul, during the last few days.

When asked, Ella described the lost diary in great detail from the secure dull brown cover to the intricate handwriting with dark blue ink that lay engraved on unsullied off-white pages that weren't fully utilised.

But it wasn't there. The receptionist's awkward apologetic smile didn't soothe her disappointment as she walked away with a crestfallen face. It was lunchtime and Ella had a very little appetite as she walked towards the cafeteria, ordered her food and then angry-ate while waiting for her friends.

While in deep thought about the whereabouts of the diary, In her peripheral vision she saw Jay and Nora quietly walking towards her while talking among themselves. They stopped a few steps away from her and she made no move to acknowledge them...yet.

"Did you kick her out of bed like always?" and apparently Jay didn't know how to whisper as he asked this to Nora. He was the type to be entertained by anything and everything.

A few weeks ago Jay first met her in creative writing classes and somehow wedged himself into her life when he became her assignment partner. They were being taught one of the steps of writing and that class happened to be about research.

The professor, Mr Gerarld, told them to write a interest or a hobby on a piece of paper without telling them what they were supposed to do with it, it later turned out they were supposed to exchange it with their partner and then write an essay on it after doing thorough research.

Her interest was 'Art History'.

His was 'Penguin'.

They both glared at each other for that but eventually decided to suck it up and help each other.

Thus began a wonderfully weird friendship. And her knowledge of certain aquatic flightless birds that waddle around in Antarctica.

He was the funny guy who joked about everything and always had a smile on his attractive face. With his sharp jaw and deep blue-grey eyes, he could come off as intense, maybe even intimidating but his effervescent personality made a stronger impression always.

So, while Ella was unaware or rather oblivious to the subtle new development, he seemed to be omnipresent in her vicinity and soon became her friend before Ella could even process what actually happened.

Nora and Jay were her only close friends and she didn't mind her little trio. Nora's childhood best friend Daniel tagged along sometimes and it was a nice wholesome group they had.

"NO!" Nora instantly quieted down when she realised she was too loud and continued. "She was out of bed even before my alarm went off this morning, she even left before me...I don't know where she went."

"She looks mad, I mean I feel sorry for that lettuce on her plate," Jay noted as Ella stabbed the piece of lettuce with her fork for the fifth time.

"Yeah.... poor thing's been tortured and perforated." Nora agreed like she thought the vegetable was in 'lettuce hell' to be caught in the crossfire.

"You guys really suck at whispering," Ella spoke up, surprising them both in that moment.

Jay plastered a big toothy smile on his face as he approached her with Nora on his side and settled down at the lunch table with their food that looked a lot more appetizing than Ella's own brutally murdered salad. "Hey, Ell! Did the salad try to attack you because I totally understand if this is self-defence..."

His comment did little to uplift her spirits as Ella just shrugged and then reached into his tray to steal some french fries. He raised a curious brow at her less than enthusiastic response.

"Wait, don't tell me you didn't find it at the lost and found?" Nora understood the predicament she was in and empathised, knowing how worried she was.

"What? What? What is it?" Jay frowned in confusion, "Can someone fill me in?"

"I just lost something and can't find it, it's messing with me," Ella told him vaguely, part of her didn't want to talk and dwell on it but another part of her wanted to rant about it and complain.

"If you're talking about the marbles that fell out of your head, it's a little too late to look for them now." He joked with a straight face.

His comment any other time would have earned him a glare but Ella was too sad to even get offended, she looked to Nora and said "Tell him."

"Don't joke about it Jay she's really upset." Nora defended and punched Jay on his underdeveloped bicep.

"Dang it woman!" He complained, rubbing his arm, Nora wasn't as delicate as she looked. She then quickly dove into filling him in on all the details so that he was now on the same page as them.

And the first thing he said was "Wait, you keep a personal diary? How did I not know that?"

"Just because you're nosy and love not minding your own business doesn't mean you know everything." Nora rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm just saying I'd have read it if I knew, and now you've gone and lost it..." Jay said in his 'woe is me' tone and then went ahead to pout exaggeratedly.

"This is not about you, can you focus for like one minute? She lost her diary, It's like losing your phone but worse." Nora reprimanded Jay and then proceeded to explain all the gruesome details.

"So let me get this straight, yesterday you lost your personal diary somewhere in this maze of a university?" he asked in disbelief as he turned to look at Ella.

"No, it's somewhere on the Moon!" she glared.

"Well in that case it's a lot harder to find." He joked completely disregarding her sarcasm which made Nora punch him again, "Ouu! You need to stop using your fists." His scream was a little too high pitched for his liking and he quickly scrambled to cover it up. "Okay, let's focus...Is there a possibility that someone stole it, or you know took it on purpose?"

This suggestion suddenly made Ella realise how entirely possible it was, "Oh my god!" she breathed and looked up at her friend with troubled eyes. Shit. Shit. Shit. What if?

"Damn, what did you even write in that diary?" He said looking at her reaction, "All this time I was thinking embarrassing stories, but now I'm not so sure..."

"Something that can..." make her look like an utter fool. "What should I do?" Ella said dramatically and looked to her friends for advice with her big wide innocent eyes.

"I don't know, nobody taught me that...can I interest you in 'Law of Effect' instead?" Jay offered uselessly.

Ella rolled her eyes and slumped lower in her chair, "School doesn't prepare us for real-life shit!"

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Attention!

If you happen to find a diary with a brown cover and ink blotted words within please return it to the 'lost and found' or the library assistant.

-Thank you

Those were the words written on a bright yellow sticky note in Ella's Scrawny handwriting.

She pasted that note on all the library notice boards a couple of days ago but there was no response to it, nothing was returned. She knew. She was always there, she even visited the lost and found section and probably annoyed the receptionist very much. She worked at the library part-time and even when she wasn't working she preferred the quiet library over her room.

Ella didn't plan to use the library notice board as her personal announcement source but she hardly had a choice. She diligently went to the library for an hour for a couple of days to no avail. She was constantly on her toes, distracted by every person who entered the library, unable to focus on her work at all.

All she had to do was wait. That was all she could do anyway...

Aside from this dumb plan, a huge flaw was that she had much too little patience. She hoped she could find it before the weekend, knowing all too well that the more time passes the harder it would get to track it down.

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Side note: Ella's pen name is Annie

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Thanks for reading.