Prologue

The wedding date was approaching with an astounding speed. Faith couldn't believe it. As she looked at her reflection if the mirror, it felt as if she was looking at someone else. As if a stranger was reflected in the mirror, as if she was in an alternative reality or as if she was an invader in someone else's body. She didn't recognize herself at all.

Faith was used to wearing jeans and boots and her hair in a ponytail while working around the orchard, and yet here she was. Wearing a white gown with her long blonde hair cascading down her back in thick waves. It was her last dress fitting before the wedding. The dressed looked perfect. The bodice fitted her extremely well, accompanying her slender silhouette, and the short lace sleeves were perfect on her angular shoulders. She looked like a bride and yet, for some reason, she didn't feel like one. This is a mistake. This is going to be the biggest mistake of my life. These words started echoing in her head like thunder.

Her breaths got shallow and fast. It felt like every time she took a breath the corset squeezed the air out of her lungs. The room started spinning and faith felt like she was losing her balance and would faint at any moment. She gripped the skirt of the dress and tried to take a step, but her body wouldn't move, as if she was pinned to the ground, like a doll stuck to a pedestal.

"Faith?" Mira asked looking at her friend's face.

"I need to take this off," Faith muttered. Her voice was barely audible and sweat started dripping down her forehead.

"Something wrong with it?"

"No. I just need to get it off. Please," Faith cried out. "Help me."

"Just breath. I got you." Mira said as she pulled down the zipper.

Once Faith was out of the dress, she put on her clothes as fast as she could and ran out of the store leaving her friend behind holding what would've been her wedding dress. The dress that in a week she would've worn, walked down the aisle and up to the alter and said I do.

Faith kept running until she reached the building where Ronnie worked, just a few streets down. She immediately went up the stairs and straight into his office.

"What a surprise," Ronnie said with a cordial smile while opening the door. "How did the fitting go?"

"We need to talk," Faith said, gasped for air.

"Fay, are you okay?"

She took a deep breath. "What?" Faith could barely hear Ronnie's voice. It almost sounded like she was underwater, struggling to swim through the waves, fighting her way to the surface as his words were barely reaching her. There was a ringing in her hears. The room was spinning, she had cold sweats and there was a knot at the bottom of her stomach that was pushing upwards her breakfast.

"You look paler than usual," Ronnie joked. "Can I get you something? Water? Do you need to lie down?"

"I can't do this," she muttered.

"Faith?"

"I can't do this."

"This what?" Ronnie frowned.

"This. Us. Getting married. I don't want any of it. I can't do it."

"Just sit down. Let me get you a cup of tea and let's talk about this."

"No!" Faith's voice came out a lot louder than she had anticipated. She was losing it and couldn't keep it up any longer. She wasn't little perfect Faith Peterson anymore. Never had been. And she was tired of trying to be. So tired... She was so tired of trying to be perfect and still feeling like none of her efforts were enough.

It was draining keeping up with the idea that everyone else had of her. Little perfect Faith Peterson. The town's princess. How she hated being called that...She couldn't do it anymore. She had never been perfect. In fact, she was and had always been a complete and utter mess, and pretending like this wasn't true was exhausting. She was done. Something in her cracked while looking at her own reflection. The reflection of the perfect bride dressed in white with long, beautiful golden hair and the perfect groom waiting for her. That perfect looking bride wasn't her. Not her true self, at least.

"What do you mean no?" His tone of voice scared her. Ronnie had never sounded like that before, at least not in front of her.

"I can't do this. This isn't right. We both know it. We don't love each other, Ronnie." We don't love each other... The words echoed in her head. This was the truth. The truth that took her so long to see. But it was the truth, nonetheless. Ronnie might've looked like the perfect fiancé, and they might have looked like the perfect couple from the outside. But that's all that they were... They looked right. But they weren't right. Not for each other, at least.

"But we work, Faith. We work well. And in the long run, that's what matters. Not love." The coldness in his voice sent a shiver down her spine. She knew that what she was doing wasn't right. She expected him to be upset, sad, distraught, anything... she would take it because she deserved it. But the lack of emotion as he said those words was unexpected and disturbing.

"That's not enough," her voice trembled. "Neither one of us should settle for that. I won't settle for that."

"So, that's it then? You are making us look bad in front of everyone by cancelling the wedding a week before? For what? Because you want to live in some fairytale? Wake up, Faith. That doesn't exist. You can't do better than me."

"So be it. It's my life and I rather take the chance than to make a huge mistake."

"You are making a huge mistake." There it was, that cold and upsetting tone of voice again.

"I'm not." Am I? She couldn't help but wonder. But her heart told her that this was the right choice, so she left. She walked away. Faith left Ronnie's office and while drenched in tears, she walked around, under the scorching summer sun, until Mira found her, hugged her, and took her home.

Faith had finally come to the realization that she didn't want to chase perfection. Not anymore. Instead, she wanted something real, starting with letting her true self show, although she wasn't quite sure where to begin...

***

Callum looked at his reflection before leaving the car. He wiped the tears rolling down his face, took a deep breath, and pulled himself together before opening the door. This is part of the job. He told himself over and over again.

As he walked towards the elevator, he noticed Ben's car parked in the extra spot that also belonged to Callum's apartment. I wonder what he's borrowing this time without asking me... Having his best friend stop by to borrow a textbook or some tennis equipment or some other random knickknack wasn't unusual, so Callum didn't make much of it and yet, for some reason, he felt uneasy. But then again, he had been uneasy for weeks, and had just left the hospital after receiving the devastating news he had been dreading since the beginning of his career. His first death. She was only ten, dammit. Callum cursed at himself. The first patient he couldn't save. He knew right from the start that he wouldn't be able to save every single one of his patients, but what he didn't know was how difficult it was actually going to be for him to move on.

As he opened the apartment door, Callum heard water running in the bathroom. Why the hell is Ben showering here? And where's Alice? He started walking towards the bathroom when, through the corner of his eye, he saw clothes on the floor, scattered all over the place. Man's clothes and lingerie. The bedroom door was open, and the bed was undone. Callum's heart started pounding violently against his ribcage. He was a smart guy; he knew exactly what happened while he was away. But he didn't want to believe it.

He couldn't help but to reach into the pocket on his pants and touch the little black box he had been carrying around for weeks. Waiting for the right moment. Working at the hospital wasn't going exactly as he had hoped, but Callum hoped that once he was settled in into his new position, the right opportunity to ask Alice to marry him would come up. And then everything would fall into place. Both his work and personal life would be in perfect balance.

The water stopped running, and Callum could hear their voices coming from the bathroom. The voices he knew so well. Giggling and chatting completely unaware of his presence. His best friends. It had been the three of them since university, since their days as interns. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. No words could describe the betrayal that he felt at that moment. As the bathroom door opened, Callum threw the box with the engagement ring on the floor, landing right on top of their clothes, and then walked towards the door as fast as he could.

"Callum! Wait." Alice called out, but Callum didn't hesitate. He didn't turn back. He rushed towards the garage, got in his car, and drove away as fast as he could. Never looking back.

Callum thought he had the perfect life... The perfect family, the perfect best friend, the perfect girlfriend, and the job of his dreams, the job he had worked so hard for... But in just one day, without a warning or sing, everything crumbled right in front of him. And he couldn't help but to question every decision he had made for the past decade. He had dedicated the last ten years to his relationship with Alice and to his job, and now he wasn't sure he wanted either of those things anymore...