Night of Masks and Knives: Book 2 – Chapter 26

A weight on my face kept my eyes closed. Something cool to the touch, damp, with a sickly amount of rosemary.

Bit by bit my mind drifted from the foggy nothingness to a hard surface on my back, and from head to hip, the same rosemary dampness across my skin. A prickle of unease danced down my spine. Why did my limbs feel too heavy to swing a blade? I did not take well to feeling helpless or trapped. Even without fetters on my wrists my heart sped, and my impulse was to bite at anything—or anyone—who came too close.

I could hardly lift my arm without wincing as skin pulled painfully taut. As best I could, I touched the coolness on my face. A cloth of some kind soaked my skin with the herbs. Gently, I pulled it away.

″Welcome back.”

With the cloth removed, I let my eyes flutter open. My throat had dried, and each word burned as I spoke. “Must all your damn elixirs smell so rotten, Nik?”

Niklas Tjuv, the guild lead of the Falkyn smugglers, grinned. His thick, dark hair was a mess, and his linen shirt was unbuttoned at the neck. Playful in nature, but there was a dark burden in his eyes tonight.

I doubted he’d done much by way of sleep since we’d burst into his nest.

″Be grateful, you bastard,” he said as he stretched out his legs and arms. “That rot is keeping your skin from peeling off your bones.”

″Always overexaggerating.” I sobered and lowered my voice. “Thank you.”

Niklas quirked one corner of his mouth. “You know how I love to take credit, but I’m afraid most of your care was overseen by your guest.”

I groaned, ashamed to admit how that small moment, when I believed the bucket would fall over her head, destroyed one of the walls I’d placed between us.

I could not lose Malin.

Not because she was an Alver. Not because she’d paid the guild her stolen penge.

I could not lose .

″Tell me about her,” Niklas said. “No, I’ll restate. Tell me the things you’ve kept from me all these turns.”

″She is a dealmaker—”

″Don’t patronize me,” he interrupted. “We’re both too self-important to play such unamusing games. I know what she does, Kase. The others informed me. While you’ve been deciding whether to die or not, I’ve replayed a great many of our past conversations. Mulled over actions you’ve taken, and now I find myself questioning and wondering what ulterior motive my old friend has had all this time?”

″Stop wondering. There is no motive.”

Niklas’s eyes darkened. “You have withheld something that could change the lives of everyone, something that could change the very fate of this land.”

″No.”

″Don’t lie to me,” he said with a calmness, much like the still of night before a storm. “How long have you known of her?”

″Niklas, I have killed men for knowing less.” I swallowed past a burn in my throat. “Leave this alone. Please.”

Guild leads did not plead. Not in Klockglas, Skítkast, not in any region. Especially not to each other.

It was enough to bring him to pause.

Niklas studied me, then sighed, shaking his head. “You cannot stop fate from taking what she wants.”

″I do not believe in fate,” I said. “Our paths are ours to choose.”

He chuckled darkly. “Then allow me to believe in the three Norns for both of us. You go to the masquerade at this woman’s behest. Have you not stopped to wonder if this is exactly what needs to happen?”

″It will be nothing more than our typical scheme.”

″I hope so. If this turns into something more, there is no telling who might live or die.” Niklas stood and removed some of the linens from my chest, inspecting my skin. I would never tell him—his head would puff up too big—but Niklas was the best Elixist I knew. If anyone could have kept me alive, it was him. He rolled the linens and tossed them into a basin. “They poisoned you with eldrish.”

I lifted one brow. “That much and I survived?”

″Barely,” Niklas said. “I was able to concoct a blend to pull the poison out before it went to your heart and spread everywhere. But if the girl had not tended to you immediately, I’m not sure I would have been here in time. It escapes me as to why, but she seems to care for you.”

I turned my face to the wall. “She knew me before . . . this life. We are not the same people anymore.”

″I’m sure you’re not,” Niklas said. “Yet, you leapt in front of her and took a bucket of eldrish in her place. I don’t think it was only because of what she is, either. I think it goes deeper.”

″You’ve been vowed too long to Junius, and have gone soft,” I said, desperate to speak of anything but this.

″Ah, my friend, I could be vowed to the woman for two thousand turns and it would not be long enough.” He laughed and backed toward the door. “I’m going to ask you to rest, and I’ll expect you to heed me. Your guild is alive and well and drinking all my brän. Oh, and take my advice on something for I am wiser than you—don’t be the Nightrender to her. Be Kase. I think you will be glad you did.”

Niklas stepped out, leaving me lost in a haze.

Truth be told, I didn’t know how to be Kase. Not anymore. But for the first time in turns, I wanted to be.

Soon, I lost track of time. Moments spun together when one had nothing to do but stare at the wall.

Somewhere deep in the nest, an odd chime, likely from one of Niklas’s smuggled clocks from some distant kingdom, tolled the hour.

The door opened.

I expected Niklas, possibly Tova, but my blood rushed to my face when Malin peeked around the door. Our eyes met. Unable to calm the storm raging in my chest, I slung an arm over my face, hoping she might leave.

She didn’t.

Malin picked up a towel and cleansing paste Niklas left behind. Her fingers touched my rough skin, and I shirked her away.

″Niklas asked me to do this.”

Bastard. Always meddling.

Her soft hand caressed my shoulder. I stiffened against it. Despicable how a loving touch, one that cared, unsettled me more than knives and blood.

Malin worked in silence until the blisters glistened with a thick layer of balm. I kept my head turned away, afraid to bend to the desire inside. For her sake, for mine. To give in would mean to care, and to care would mean a new way for cruel, wicked folk to exploit us.

She said my name, but I returned nothing.

Malin let out a harsh breath, startling me when her hands trapped the sides of my face. Her fingers dug into my skin. Not so much it upset the wounds, more like she did not want to let go. As if I might disappear.

My eyes closed when Malin pressed her brow to mine.

″Why do you hate me?” Her voice croaked. “Help me understand, then I swear to you if you wish me to leave, I will. I will leave you alone.”

My chest cracked down the middle. Slowly, my hands went to her arms, and I nudged her back.

She resisted my touch, gripping my face tighter, pushing forward. “Please, Kase.”

I let out an exasperated chuckle. “I’m only trying to sit up.”

″Oh.”

Malin kept her eyes on my every move as I adjusted into sitting on the carving block. The surface of my skin was angry and red. Dried blood streaked across my chest and shoulders. At least my head was no longer swimming.

Once I was steady, Malin settled on a chair in front of me, hands clasped in her lap.

″You’re hurt.” Before I could think better of it, my fingertips reached out and brushed over a gash on her brow.

Malin padded her fingers over the spot. She shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

I let my arm drop and turned my scrutiny to the stone floor.

″You have a gentle touch,” she whispered.

″You sound surprised.”

“I did watch you shatter a man’s jaw.”

I lifted my gaze and narrowed my eyes. “Boswell Doft was a tyrant who took frustrations out on his wife, sometimes bringing her to the brink of the Otherworld.”

″How could you know?”

″The wife’s lover—the other appointment we had before meeting with Doft,” I said. “Dagny knew him in a past life, and he was more than forthcoming when she arranged a meet. The lover paid us to finish Doft. You’ll find no remorse for the blood on my hands.”

″You knew him, didn’t you? The way Doft spoke to you—”

″I knew him,” I said. “He was the first to see my mesmer. Have no doubt, knowing him and what he is capable of only adds to my lack of remorse.” My jaw tensed. “Is Boswell who you wished to speak about?”

She scoffed. “You know I don’t.”

″Then ask.” Niklas had better be right. I wasn’t doing a remarkable job at being Kase. Most things I said came out like a poisonous bite.

Malin shifted in her chair. “Why do you hate me one moment, then step in front of danger for my sake?”

″I don’t hate you.”

Malin shook her head. She didn’t believe a word of it.

In the turns we’d been parted I’d become a thing of cruelty and shadows. Darkness was safe. Solitude, a haven. So, it should’ve been no surprise that there was a bit of repulsion at her touch and presence. As if kind things were the blades and hate the shield.

But beyond the surface of disgust was a rush of desire. The race of a pulse, the secret hope Malin would touch me again and again.

She’d been my first love; my only love. All these wicked turns later and she’d found the ability to command me once again and didn’t even know it.

″I despise everything from the past most days,” I said, voice low. “Except you.”

″Your actions have said otherwise.”

″Malin.” Her name rolled off my tongue gently. “Look at me.”

Her pinched stare remained on her lap for a long moment, then she lifted her gaze to mine.

″I know you want to understand,” I said. “But it’s impossible to explain everything. There are things I don’t know how to admit, things I’ve done since we were last together.”

″Then I will start.” She bit her bottom lip between her teeth. “When I thought you might die out there, I can’t remember the last time I was so afraid.” I studied her and those grass green eyes broke a part of my soul before piecing it back together again. She swallowed and went on. “I suppose I was afraid on the day you were taken from me.”

″

you?”

″Once, you were everything to me. I searched for you, became as much a thief as you. There were no lengths to keep me from finding answers. Sometimes I was cruel, all to find out what happened.”

″I know,” I said. “You put yourself at risk not knowing if I was alive. It was stupid.”

″It was,” she agreed. “Because it turns out you’re quite rude.”

Hells, the smile took me from behind, gripping me before I realized I’d even relaxed enough to grin.

″I should’ve stopped you turns back,” I told her. “Rumors of a girl selling memories didn’t escape me.”

″Why did you not come to me?”

″I’m dangerous, Malin. I have dangerous enemies. How could I bring those risks to you?”

″But you knew me when I sought the guild’s help. You knew me when you were Elof. Why now?”

″I don’t entirely know,” I admitted. “Maybe I didn’t want you getting your throat slit by going after Hagen. Or maybe I finally lost the fight to stay away.”

She reached out and placed one hand on my knee. “Then why be so cold to me?”

″When you spend turns becoming someone new, facing the past is like a snag in a tapestry. I thought if you hated what I’d become, we would remain distant, and you would not unravel everything I buried long ago.”

″Did it work?”

″No.” I whispered. “You’ve always been my undoing.”

For a moment, I wasn’t certain how to go on. My stomach backflipped when she curled her hand around mine, her thumb tracing the calluses of my palm.

″At the masque,” she whispered, “how did they know you had mesmer? Why did they take you?”

″Who’s to say,” I grumbled, unable to give up more. I slipped my fingers through hers. “I heard you, you know. I heard you calling my name. When they had me alone in a cage, I called for you too. Until I lost my voice.”

″I should’ve searched harder.”

″It’s not on you.”

″It is,” she said through her teeth. “I never should’ve insisted we go that day. I should’ve—”

Damn the distance. My palms overtook her face; I pulled her closer. My lips nearly brushed hers when I spoke. “Hear this well,” I said in a low warning. “It is on you.”

My thumb touched the curve of her lip as I pulled back, still too weak to stay off balance in such a way. “What more do you wish to ask?”

Malin’s face was flushed, but she cleared her throat, coming back to the moment. “Are you a Malevolent?”

″I think you already know,” I said. “Yes. A descendant of nightmares.”

″I don’t believe that.”

″You’ll see it differently when you know what I do.” I turned my palms up. “I use fear. Imagine the possibilities, the damage. I create illusions like a Hypnotik, but nothing good or comforting.”

″You created Elof’s face.”

″True, but he had dark intentions.” I didn’t explain that the illusion of another face came from my own fear of her seeing my true features. Clearing my throat, I went on. “I create dark things, like shadows and waking nightmares. I thought I was a Rifter as a boy because I could break skin, but I was wrong. Those who fear physical harm or death, I can cause it.”

She blinked with a bit of astonishment. “Like Raum told me.”

″He fears drowning,” I said. “I can make him feel as if he is being swallowed by the Howl; I can kill him with it. There are Falkyns here who fear being trapped underground, so I could break these walls over them. Whatever it is, death, suffocation, torture, I can create it.”

She was too quiet. No mistake, Malin probably had a bit of fear for me now, and if I were not doused in mesmer-blocking poison, I’d feel it.

But when she tangled her fingers in mine, I was beginning to question her ability to fear anything. Perhaps her sanity. None of the horrid things I ever did or said seemed to impact her opinion of me in the least.

″You were with me in the hayloft at nights. Weren’t you?” she whispered. “I felt the darkness and convinced myself it was a ghost watching over me.”

In a way, she wasn’t wrong. I had been a ghost. When I returned to House Strom to hunt Hagen, I knew there would be glimpses of the girl I could not dislodge from what was left of my stone-cast heart. I simply didn’t expect those glimpses to turn into more.

At first, I could settle for hate. Safe, distant hate. If she hated me, at least I’d still be in her head. What I received was unmistakable need and devotion.

″I was there,” I admitted thickly.

″But you still pretend to be someone you simply aren’t.”

″You think the Nightrender is not who I am?” One brow arched. “I changed. This is the reason I didn’t want you to ever know me again because I learned to hate, Malin. I don’t know love anymore.”

″I think you do,” she said. “You are the one who has done everything to protect the Kryv. Out of love, I’m sure. Tova told me how you saved Ash and Hanna, and you all treat each other like family.”

″It’s a pleasant picture you’ve painted, but perhaps I act out of a need to survive.”

Malin staggered to her feet and stretched the aches out of her spine. “Perhaps. I’ll not deny we have both changed. But I knew you once, Kase. Better than anyone.”

For a moment I said nothing. “I’m not the same as that boy.”

″Maybe not, but you saved me from the skydguard. Sounds heroic to me, not wicked.”

I smiled, unburdened. “Set your heroic standards higher. I survive by darkness, Malin. I keep it close, and it keeps me.”

″We’ll see.”

I took her hand. Now that we’d touched, the craving for more only intensified. “I thought I wouldn’t get there in time. Fiske saw something happening to you, and from the moment we stepped onto Skítkast soil I was on edge, waiting.”

″He saw something?”

″Something unclear, but he felt like it involved you.”

With care, I leveraged off the carving block, standing in front of her. We were close, a minor step, and we’d be chest to chest. Malin’s eyes fluttered closed, and she arched her body closer when I brushed a lock of her hair off her forehead.

″Why did you care so much?” A question I’ve tried to understand for a time now. “Why did you never stop searching for me?”

Her fingertips traced the line of my jaw. “You wouldn’t have stopped had it been me.”

I used one knuckle to tilt her face to mine. “Malin, I can’t be Kase Eriksson, not anymore.”

″Because he has too much humanity?”

I simply shook my head, unsure what to say.

″Fine,” she went on, “but don’t expect me not to see glimpses of the boy I knew. I should go, you need to let those wounds rest.”

Malin drifted toward the door. She paused, tapping the wall with her fingers, and with a soft smile she left me alone once again.

In a game of bribes and ploys emotions had no place. One wrong look, one twitch of the eye, one move to show who you cared for the most could be the difference between the upper hand and losing it all.

Like a heartsick fool, I’d let her dig back inside.

No mistake, the risk of our game increased tenfold.