Seventeen - Payal

"Mrs. Shah has Deep Vein Thrombosis." Confirmed Dr. Oberoi.

It was the day after the Holi festival. Payal's mother's pain in the leg had increased by the evening on the day of Holi. Aniket and Rohini had taken her for a consult to Vivaan's hospital. Since this was (as of now) unrelated to her condition, yet another doctor was assigned to her. Payal was slowly growing weary of the number of doctors they needed to consult. Dr. Oberoi, the kindly looking general physician, had taken one look at the swelling and ordered a Doppler ultrasound test.

Once the results were out, Aniket had called both Payal and Vivaan. By the time Payal reached, Aniket and Vivaan were already seated before Dr. Oberoi as he discussed the diagnosis.

"C-reactive protein also seems high." Dr. Oberoi continued. "We will need to be a little proactive at this point. I'm ordering a chest CT scan. Meanwhile, can one of you help me with the list of medications Mrs. Shah is taking?"

While Aniket and Rohini went ahead to complete the process for the test, Vivaan began listing the medical history and the ongoing medication. Payal listened, but the conversation was a little too technical for her to understand. The gist she got was that either the ongoing medication being given to her mother was not effective and her condition had caused her blood to thicken and form the clot. Or, the clot itself was a side effect of the ongoing medication.

"You do realize she will need to be hospitalized?" said Dr. Oberoi.

"I do. I can get the admission process started. Will you be the attending?" Vivaan asked.

"Yes. But inform Dr. Maniar as well. And once the chest CT results are out, we can decide if someone from cardiology and pulmonology need to be involved." Dr. Oberoi.

"Hold on." Payal stopped them. "Why does she need to be hospitalized?"

Vivaan sighed. "Dr. Oberoi, is it okay if I explain it to her?" he asked.

"Go ahead." Said Dr. Oberoi, dismissing them.

Vivaan guided Payal outside to the cafeteria. Once he had ordered a coffee and Payal had called Aniket to inform him of their whereabouts, Vivaan began his explanation. "Ma has a blood clot in her leg at the moment. We have caught it, but the thing with blood clots is that they don't often remain stationary. It is possible that a piece of the clot has dislodged and moved upward, mostly toward the heart or the lungs-"

Payal's mind connected the dots before Vivaan could finish his explanation. "No!" she said, panicked. This meant the clot was a ticking time bomb inside her mother. Any moment, she might face a severe complication.

"Breathe, Payal." Vivaan soothed. "The chest CT scan can determine if there is such danger. If the scan shows up any clots, we will evaluate the best way to remove it. If its not there, well, that means the clot is still only in her leg, but that needs to be dissolved. The process will need a couple of days of admission in the hospital, to ensure that nothing goes wrong."

"What are the options if a clot shows up on the scan?" Payal asked, trying to keep the panic from taking over.

"There is something called "thrombolysis." We break down the clot using medication. It has its side effects, but nothing needs more attention than the clot at the moment. If we can't use thrombolysis, due to a conflicting medication for instance, then we may have to go the surgery route." Vivaan explained.

Payal had to close her eyes to focus her breathing and avoid the incoming panic attack. Neither option sounded good.

"Hey." She felt his hand on hers, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on the back of her hand. "It's not confirmed yet Payal. If the clot has not progressed, it's a fairly simple treatment curve. Some injections to dissolve the clot, and then blood thinners to avoid it from happening again."

"Why would it happen again?" Payal asked, though she knew the answer.

"It seems to be a complication of her current condition." Vivaan said. "The chances are high something like this may happen again."

Payal didn't respond. She was back to focusing on her breathing to keep the panic attack at bay. It wouldn't help anyone if she collapsed in the cafeteria right now. Vivaan's phone rang, jarring Payal slightly. Vivaan checked it.

"It's Adi. I had to speak with him to get admission started..." He said, looking conflicted.

"Go." Payal gritted out.

"But you –"

"Go, Vivaan." Payal cut him off. "I can handle it. Go."

Vivaan hesitated. Payal was about to protest, but another voice called out. "I've got her. Go, Vivaan."

A moment later, Payal felt her brother's arms around her. Just like that, the panic receded, giving way to sobs. She buried her head in her brother's embrace, crying her eyes out. Aniket let her cry it out, occasionally saying soothing words to her. Payal wasn't sure what the trigger was. Maybe it was because this was the first time her mother's diagnosis was actually manifesting as a serious condition. So far, although she was sick, she was at home and she was responding well to the treatment, barring the side effects. Now suddenly, a complication had required them to admit her in the hospital.

Eventually, the sobs subsided and she managed to reign in her fears and uncertainty. It was not fair to Aniket that she was being so weak. He had to be just as scared as her.

"Where's Rohini?" she asked her brother.

"With Ma." He said. "I wanted to know what Vivaan had to say. Are you up to it?"

Payal nodded, relaying Vivaan's opinion to Aniket. "He'll consult Dr. Maniar directly. But hospitalization is mandatory. Something about this being a risky condition requiring monitoring." She finished.

Aniket considered her words. "Okay. I guess we have no option but to act on this." He said eventually.

Payal sighed. There was no other option.

***

The chest CT scan revealed no clots, thankfully. Dr. Oberoi wanted to keep her mother under strict observation for just one night. She could be moved to the regular room the next day if all was fine. But tonight, she would have to be in the critical care unit. With Vivaan's help, they were able to secure a bed at the CCU, and her mother was shifted to the CCU within half an hour of receiving the request.

CCU patients could not eat any outside food, so they didn't have to bring any food for Payal's mother. After a brief discussion, it was decided that while her father would stay the night, Payal would stay until dinner time.

As she was gathering an overnight bag for her father, Payal overheard her brother and sister-in-law talking.

"Never seen her cry so much before..."

"It's been a while since I've seen her so disturbed..."

Payal cleared her throat loudly to announce herself before entering the kitchen (something she had learnt from Vivaan's family). "I've packed most of what I think would be needed, including Ma's phone. Do you guys think I should take anything else?" she asked, pretending as though she hadn't overheard their conversation.

"Let me check." Rohini said, quickly taking the bag from her hand and heading out to the living room. Payal looked at her brother and raised her eyebrows. "Been a while since I've seen her so disturbed..." she quoted him. "How much did I scare you today?"

Aniket was surprised momentarily before he regained his composure. "You didn't scare me. I'm just concerned. When I saw you, you were clearly fighting a panic attack." His voice got quiet. "I didn't know you've started having them again."

"Just one other time recently." Payal said, her voice just as quiet.

"Didn't we share everything with each other, always?" asked Aniket. "Since when did you hide stuff from me?"

"Ma's diagnosis was hard on all of us, Bhaiya." Payal said. "You didn't share your suffering with me either." She pointed out, without accusation.

Aniket's face fell. "When was the other time?" he asked.

"The night of the diagnosis." Payal said quietly.

"You went through it alone?" he asked, his eyes wide.

Payal shook her head. "I had gone to meet Vivaan that night. I'm not sure what the trigger was exactly. We were in the middle of discussing the reports and I just..." she trailed off, remembering the night.

"So, he knows your history of panic attacks?" Aniket asked.

"He didn't at that time. But he guided me on pushing past it. He's a doctor after all. He knew the basics, so it was easy for him to figure it out." Payal kept it short. She didn't want to tell her brother how comforting Vivaan's presence had been. That was a secret she wanted to treasure alone.

Aniket nodded. "Are you really okay now? I could switch with Papa in your place if you want to rest a bit." He offered.

Payal shook her head in a 'no'. "I'll manage. Just leave some dinner out for me, I might get late in coming back, depending on the situation there." She said, to which he nodded.

"Will you tell Papa?" she asked tentatively.

Aniket stared at his hands. "No, but only if you promise that you won't hide any further panic attacks from me. I want in." he said, eventually.

Payal hugged her brother, relieved a little despite the tense evening. "Thanks Bhaiya." She whispered.

"Idiot." Aniket said. Payal could imagine him shaking his head at her.

It was late evening before Payal switched with her father. She knew her mother wasn't really okay with the admission in the hospital. Her mother would consider it as weak. So Payal schooled her expression, put a smile on her face and entered the CCU partition with a bright "Hello, Mrs. Shah! How are you doing?"

Her mother blinked in surprise, but then she began laughing. Payal smiled too. It was what she was hoping for.

Just then, the curtains parted, and the nurse stepped in with her mother's meal. She placed it with a smile on the side table that could be rolled over the patient bed to act as a dining table. Payal saw her mother's smile turn into a frown. Her mother was extremely picky and didn't like food that wasn't to her taste. It had only gotten worse since her illness began. Hospital food definitely came under the "bland and totally unlikeable" category.

"If you eat this, I promise to tell you the really embarrassing story of Bhaiya and the gas stove." Payal coaxed.

"I'm not a child. Don't treat me like one." Her mother snapped. But Payal could see she was really curious about the goof up her brother had made. Although Aniket would probably kill her when he got to know about it, she figured the sacrifice would be worth it if her mother actually ate the dinner.

"I'm not treating you like a child, Ma." She soothed her mother. "But you see, your son won't leave me alive after he comes to know I told you about the incident. I need a worthy trade, won't you agree?" she tried again.

"Alright, I'll bite." Her mother finally agreed. Reluctantly, she took up the spoon and ate a little bit of the curd first, making a face at the bland taste. "Your turn." She demanded.

"Not going to wait a moment further." Payal said, rubbing her hands gleefully. "So, it started with Bhaiya deciding he wanted some coffee..."

***

The doorbell rang, making Payal curse. Why did she have to be home alone today of all days? Payal opened the door of her house only to sneeze on the visitor.

"Sorry! I-" she began to apologize but stopped short when she noticed Vivaan at the door. Payal blinked. Vivaan was at her door. And she was dressed in pajamas in broad daylight, her eyes puffed up and her nose red with irritation from the unfortunate cold she had caught. "Uh, hi." She croaked out.

Vivaan shook his head with a smile. "Bhaiya told me you were sick. But I didn't know it was this bad."

Payal wasn't surprised that Aniket sent Vivaan to check on her. Ever since he got to know about her panic attacks coming back, he had gone into what Payal had dubbed the 'Overprotective Hulk' mode.

"Its all your hospital's fault." She admonished him. "Why does the air conditioner have to be so strong? The season's also changing. And-"

"Yes, yes, everyone in this world but you are responsible for you catching a cold." Vivaan interrupted her. "Now, will you let me in or do I have to take care of you from the doorstep?"

Payal frowned, moving aside to let him in. "Aren't you suspended from attending patients? And aren't you supposed to use the time to study?" she asked him, wincing when her voice came out raspy.

"One. You are my fiancée, not my patient." He said, coming in. He opened his bag, taking out a book labelled Pathophysiology of Heart Disease: An introduction to Cardiovascular Medicine by Leonard S. Lilly. "And two, I do plan to study while I'm here."

"What?" Payal asked, thoroughly confused.

"I will study, but after I see to it that you are taken care of." Vivaan said.

"But I have a cold!" Payal protested. "You'll catch it too!"

"I have a stronger immune system." He said. "I'll survive."

"Uh, I don't really look my best." Payal blurted out. She really didn't want to sound like a whiny insecure girlfriend, but that's exactly what she felt at the moment. She didn't want Vivaan to see her like this.

"You're sick Payal. No one looks their best when they're sick." He said with a smile.

"Easy for you to say!" Payal countered. "You're all neat and clean." And good looking.

"But I'm not sick." Vivaan pointed out. "Besides, we are past that stage now."

"Which stage?" she asked curiously.

"Where appearances matter." Vivaan said, his voice soft. "It doesn't matter to me what you wear or how you dress. Nor does it matter that you have puffy eyes and a runny nose while I'm 'neat and clean'. To me, you are always beautiful Payal."

Payal couldn't help but blush at his words. "Stop bluffing. I know I look hideous." She said, but she couldn't wipe the smile of her face.

"Also," Vivaan continued. "As your fiancé, it is my duty to take care of you, in sickness and in health."

"I'm pretty sure that's a marriage vow." Payal commented dryly.

"Close enough." He allowed, with a smile. "Now, first let's take care of you."

So saying, he guided her to her room, helping her lay down on the bed and proceeding to measure her vitals. After a brief exam, he confirmed the diagnosis of an allergic cold.

"Here." He gave her a tablet. "This will give symptomatic relief. Take it."

"No." Payal declined. "I don't take medicines when I have a cold. It reduces immunity."

Vivaan rolled his eyes. "You have an allergic cold, Payal. You are is this situation because of a highly efficient immune system." He shook his head when she refused the tablet again. "Really? Are you going to argue with the doctor about what medicine is right and when to take it?" he asked.

"But-"

"No. Whatever you're going to say, I do not agree to it." He interrupted her. "Take this, right now."

Reluctantly, Payal took the tablet. "Cetirizine." She made a face. "I'm going to be knocked out for about eight hours, great."

Vivaan shook his head, smiling as he brushed the hair off her forehead. "I forget how well read you are in my field sometimes." He covered her with a blanket, before settling down at her bedside and propping his book open. "Just sleep for a while. Sleep is the best way to recover."

Payal turned on her side, holding his hand. "Okay, but not because you're the doctor. It's because you are my fiancé."

His laugh was the last thing she heard before she drifted off.

She woke up suddenly a while later, groggy and heavy-lidded. Someone was sitting beside her.

"Payal." Vivaan was saying. "Wake up. You need to eat."

Payal groaned in assent as she tried to sit up. A pair of hands helped her sit up and her laptop tray table was placed before her, with a bowl on it. A moment later, she felt a hand on her forehead.

"No fever." Vivaan verified. He appeared in her field of vision then, sitting opposite to her as he spooned whatever was in the bowl.

"What is that?" she asked, her voice still raspy.

"Dal-khichdi." He said, holding out a spoon for her.

"Yay. I'm being served hospital food. I officially feel like a patient now." Payal groused. Secretly, she loved that he was being so caring and attentive to her, even though Payal hated being taken care of. Like her mother, she preferred to be the caretaker, not the other way around.

"Shh. Eat." Vivaan ordered. Payal reluctantly swallowed the spoonful. The consistency of the dal-khichdi was almost liquid. She barely had to chew.

"You made this?" she asked him.

"No. Ma-sa sent it for you earlier today, when you were sleeping. She sent food for me as well." He explained.

Payal nodded. "Its really good." She said, eating another spoonful. She was only now starting to realize how hungry she was.

"Any update on Ma?" she asked.

"Your father made her eat a while back. She's much better today." Vivaan said, holding another spoonful for her. "She was more concerned about you falling sick."

"That wouldn't be surprising. Ma worries about everyone except herself." Payal said.

"I know. You're exactly like her." Vivaan said, then quickly fed her a spoonful of food before she could counter him.

"I can eat by myself, you know." She said, after she successfully swallowed the next spoonful.

"And deny both of us a cliché Bollywood moment of romance?" Vivaan asked rhetorically, making her laugh.

Once she had finished, he cleared everything up. As he moved to sit at her bedside, Payal stopped him. She pulled him to sit beside her on the bed. "Sit here."

"What happened to not letting me catch a cold?" Vivaan asked with a small chuckle.

"I've been diagnosed with an allergy." Payal said, leaning into his side. "You'll survive, unless you're allergic to me."

Vivaan laughed out loud at that, but allowed her to snuggle up to him while he rested his back against the wall. He tucked the blanket around her exposed feet and legs, while he himself sat above the blanket. Always a gentleman.

"I like this side of yours." He said after a quiet moment. "With the amount of opposition you kicked up today morning, I don't think you let anyone take care of you easily."

"I think we've established that I just can't keep my armor up around you." Payal joked. "No matter what I do, you always manage to find the cracks and sneak in somehow."

He tilted her chin up then, making her look at him. His gaze was soft and adoring as he leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad that I'm the exception." He said. Although his voice was soft, Payal heard the inflection in it, as though he wanted to convey something more. His eyes seemed to light up with that unnamed emotion again. Payal tried to place it, to give it a name, an identity.

Love. The answer popped up almost immediately. Vivaan loves you.

The realization caused her heart to race. But did he know? Had he understood what was so clearly visible in his eyes?

"What?" Vivaan asked her, momentarily breaking her train of thought.

"Nothing." Payal looked down quickly, before he could read her embarrassment. She snagged his textbook off the side table where it was lying. "Get back to studying, Dr. Mehta." She said, trying to change the subject.

It worked. Vivaan rolled his eyes, grabbing the highlighter as well and then propping the book open on his legs. "And you, get back to sleeping." He said, in the same tone. Payal couldn't help but laugh at that. As she made to get out of his arms, he stopped her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What are you doing?" he countered. "I asked you to get back to sleep."

"And that's is exactly what I am going to do." Payal repeated, confused by what he meant.

"You don't need to go anywhere. You can sleep right here." Vivaan said. Payal could see that he was trying to stop his smile.

"That's the best way for you to get distracted." She argued weakly.

Vivaan laughed. "I've sat beside you the whole morning while you slept. And I finished going through a lot of notes in that time." he pointed out, holding up the book where various sections were highlighted.  Leaning back, he tugged Payal with him. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay." Payal sighed, laying her head on his chest. "But only because I'm too sleepy to argue."

It doesn't matter if he knows it or not. Payal thought sleepily as she watched him focus on his book, a smile on his face. Just the knowledge that he loves me is enough.

Glossary:

C-reactive protein - C-reactive protein is a type of protein made by the liver. A high level of C-reactive protein in the body indicates inflammation. C-reactive protein is measured by a blood test, and the test is usually prescribed to check for infections or heart diseases.

Cetirizine - Cetirizine is an anti-histamine compound. Cetirizine tablets are one of the most effective medications for treating allergic colds and other allergic reactions. But its also a strong sedative. One tablet can knock you out for a good eight hours or so. Not a good idea to take one before an important exam. You might not wake up on time :P.

Dal-khichdi - Dal-khichdi is an Indian dish made of lentils and rice. The simplest version has only salt and turmeric for flavor, but it can be spiced up by adding vegetables and other spices of choice. It is commonly consumed as comfort food and is sometimes term 'sick-people food' because it is the most common dish served to patients in hospitals.