22

"Oh honey, you've finally made it!" Taylor's father smiles in delight, the brunette groaning as he playfully ruffles her hair allowing soft strands to fall in front of her face like a curtain. "I can't believe you'll be off to college so soon now."

"Logan would've been proud of you," Her mother whispers, leaning towards the table as she takes a hold of Taylor's hand softly. "I know she is, I most definitely am."

Taylor breathes out coolly as she forces her gaze away from her mother's face, lips quivering in sadness. It would have been wonderful if her sister had been with them. It was just another painful reminder of all the other events in their lives that Logan was going to miss. All the milestones Taylor would have to long for her presence.

But now seeing her family all together, though not enough to make her forget the hole in her heart, gave her the courage to put on a brave face and treasure the little joys. She knows Logan would hate to see her sulking on such an important day in her life.

Taylor had just graduated highschool.

It was strange. Her name was called from the podium and she froze, her mind going plain blank. She was nervous for sure. She knew things would go differently this time around, no more of that ridiculous highschool nonsense. It was time to leave all this behind – but Taylor didn't think she was ready to.

Her mind thinks back to a few hours ago, before she was officially declared a graduate of Davis' High. Taylor had just been called from the podium. The sound of her name echoed in her head, but it was as if she had heard absolutely nothing.

She turns her head to see some people look at her expectantly, wondering why she wasn't heading to the stage. Frowning, she takes a few steps to the front, only to stop when she finally looks up and catches a pair of sea-blue eyes staring straight at her. Romee's lips curve into an encouraging smile, "You can do it." She mouths before giving Taylor her classic wink.

Taylor's tempted to leap off the stairs of the stage and run into Romee's arms and tell her she was crazy in love with her, but she bites her lips instead and forces her gaze away from the stunner – mentally scolding herself to focus. She struts across the stage with both poise and diploma, acknowledging the hard work and effort she's put into all these years. She had done well, more than well even being the overachiever that she was. Taylor reaches out her hand and gratefully receives her diploma, a couple of medals now dangling below her neck. Taylor felt a little relieved. She definitely didn't intend on staying here. Highschool wasn't exactly a walk in the park.

After the ceremonies she wasn't able to see her friends right after taking the group photo. Everyone was getting pulled by their families, eager to celebrate their children's' success. Taylor's family definitely wasn't toning it down with the festivities. Nonetheless, she was more than thankful to have them there.

Nightfall came and soon Taylor was all dressed up for the seniors' graduation party. She obviously didn't want to come but Jasmine had to practically blackmail her into coming, she was hosting it after all. Quite the socialite she is.

The drive over to Jasmine's was quite long, it gave her just enough time to think about the past few days with her friend, Romee.

It had just been the two of them in the cabin for a couple of days. Taylor felt like she was on cloud nine, what a cliché thing to say but everything just felt so right. She was a firm believer of chances, and in this life she had this one chance to get to know the woman who changed it all for her. Changed it for the better. She had learned the ways you could love someone – how she could love Romee, it was so easy to do and she wished it were forever. Romee is like that one movie you never want to end because it's so good, she is the book that dances and spins Taylor's imagination. She is simple, beautiful, and thought provoking, she is all the good things in the world put into human form.

But Taylor wasn't that naive. And even then she allowed Romee to play with the strings of her heart, the one that belonged to no one else but her.

She pulled up in the driveway further away from the house than she'd liked due to the influx of cars parked around. She was definitely one of the few people arriving in late, just as she had intended to. It didn't take a minute until Jas was able to spot her.

"For a moment I thought you were bailing," Jasmine smirks, genuinely looking surprised to see her friend.

"You didn't give me a choice Jas, I didn't want to have to explain my parents why random people were egging my house." Taylor replied exasperatedly dramatically. "You're such a bitch."

Jas tugs on her arm as they walk towards the rest of their friends, "And you're unbelievable."

"Look who finally decided to show up," Laurens flashes her a smile and moves over to give her a side hug. "Congratulations, for a moment I forgot you were a genius until I had to see you bag the awards today."

"Well I could say the same about you, mister star athlete."

Romee wasn't inside the house but she was damn sure she was at the party. Up close, the pink at the corner of Laurens' mouth was noticeably visible. Well that, and the fact that he smelt just like her. But Taylor bit her lip to stop herself from asking about Romee's whereabouts. Even then Jas knew what she wanted the moment she caught her eye and the former cheerleader eyed the backyard. Taylor thought about giving it a minute as she didn't want to seem too eager but she quickly changed her mind and bolted to the backdoors.

Fuck it, she thought.

There were a couple of seniors, and some people she was pretty sure who didn't even come to their school, hanging around in the back. None of them were Romee. So she turned the other way and headed for the garden path. She should've known. The blonde had mentioned it a couple of times, playing hide and seek when she and Jas were younger in the greenhouse. Knocking over some geraniums as they goofed around but Jas was always there to lie for her.

Taylor smiles involuntarily as she sees long blonde hair sprawling on slender shoulders ranging down her back. Romee had not seen her yet as she faced the other way.

"Hey." Taylor says as she goes through the rails. She notices the temperature difference the moment she goes through the glass doors.

Romee turns, her golden locks cascading down her shoulders her tightly pulled face which previously showed no trace of emotion transforming into a bright smile and it was enough to knock the wind out of Taylor's lungs. "Hey stranger, I didn't think you'd show."

"And miss the best night of the year?" She asks rhetorically, sarcastically and Romee gives her a pointed look. "You're not the first one to say that since I arrived like ten minutes ago."

The brunette saunters over to the older girl quietly, and she can already see Romee's brows furrow in thought as she settles on the bench beside her. For a moment, Taylor thinks everything is okay – until she turns minutes later to see Romee look like she's in so much pain and sadness.

"Are, are you okay?"

"What? Yes. I am. I'm sorry got too lost in my thoughts for a moment." Romee smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes, and doesn't nearly look as happy when she smiles like she usually does.

And for a moment Taylor's hurt turns into betrayal when her mind begins to jump from one thought to another. Silly girl, it wasn't that serious for her she's your friend. She probably just felt sorry for you, walking around and following her like a lost puppy all the time. But Taylor looks deep into Romee's eyes, and all she sees is pure and genuine adoration for her. Well that and a bunch of other things Taylor's sure is going to break her heart later on.

"Before I forget," Romee whispers and twists her body around behind her pulling out a small black box. Tiny red blotches makes its way to her cheeks as she hands Taylor the object in a red bow.

Taylor is more than surprised by the obvious jewellery box, she didn't even get her anything and now Taylor felt bad. "Is it a puppy?" She jokes lightly but all the teasing went out of her expression the moment she lifted the sterling silver necklace out of the box. Hanging from the necklace was a rose gold heart pendant and it looked so beautiful and expensive.

Taylor looks up to Romee in protest but the older girl is already giving her a look, "Don't even say it."

"Romee, it's so beautiful." Taylor pulls the Romee in an embrace burying her face into light blonde hair. The younger girl's eyes begin to water and she herself isn't even sure what the reason might be. Is it because Romee's gift had touched her? Is it because she had realized just now how much she actually loves this girl? Or is it because the fear of losing Romee lurking around ready to pounce into the moment at any time now is scaring her to death. "Would you help me put it on?"

The two girls shift on the bench and Romee softly sweeps Taylor's dark hair to the side, trying her very best to put on the clasp. But it was difficult, being this near to her was distracting. Once Romee was finished, she backs away slowly but is surprised when she feels Taylor pull her close and kiss her.

Taylor's warm lips find the blonde stunner while she caresses the soft skin between the end of Romee's brow and cheekbone, and the older girl smiles into the kiss.

And now they think of nothing, they only feel.

The kiss went on and on and it felt like it had been hours but neither wanted to pull away. But the world wasn't on their side today, and Taylor sighs audibly in disappointment when she hears a ringtone all too familiar to her ears, only it hadn't belonged to her. Laurens' deep voice blares into Romee's phone, he was calling but she contemplated whether or not to answer.

"Answer it," Taylor says with a sad smile. She knows Romee wanted to, but didn't want to offend her after a full on makeout session.

Romee smiles apologetically and stands a few feet away from her to take the call. She replies in hushed voices and Taylor tries her very best not to eavesdrop in their conversation, she didn't want to be rude. And didn't want to feel any more hurt than she does, but even all the amount of effort Taylor put in filtering out Romee's words wasn't enough to conceal her I love you, too.

But I love you more, Taylor wanted to say. Did she really? Love Romee more? Even if Taylor wanted to despise Laurens with all her heart she couldn't. Because he wasn't a bad guy, he was one of the best people she had ever come to meet. And he happens to love Romee with all his heart too. Like Taylor, he would do anything for Romee and so she wasn't sure it was okay to say she loves Romee more. She knows Laurens loved her so much, too much, and he had loved her first.

"Sorry," Romee says sheepishly as she settles back down beside Taylor.

"Do you love me?" Taylor blurts out into the air of the night. She says it so suddenly, and abruptly that she wished she could take it back. Romee is it a lost for words, it was the last thing she had expected Taylor would ask at this time.

Taylor's heart clamours inside her rib cage, and she thinks to herself, don't press on it anymore or you'll end up breaking your heart. Then their eyes connect, and recognition ripples across Taylor's face. Romee didn't, not in the way Taylor wanted to.

Romee sees the hurt flash unto the younger girl's eyes and she's quick to console her. "No, no, I do," she tries to console her. Romee takes Taylor's free hand, the one that wasn't gripping the edge of the seat like she wanted it lifeless, and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I love you. Of course I do."

Taylor laughs sadly, tears brimming her eyes as she stands and Romee is prompted to do the same. She tries to wipe the tears trickling down her cheeks but they wouldn't stop.

"You know what I mean."

Romee stands barely a few inches away from Taylor but she can still feel the distance between them, folded, crumpled, and tangled. It was as if their relationship had grown stretch marks. Romee is upset and conflicted. She knows it wasn't fair for Taylor, it wasn't even fair for Laurens and he doesn't even know. She knows she's about to stomp on Taylor's heart into a million pieces and she absolutely hates herself for it.

"I, I don't understand. Why do I have to be in love with you now? Why can't we wait for tomorrow or any other day?" Romee rushes out and she's surprised to feel her own cheeks wet.

"I see you Romee," Taylor whispers. "I feel you, the timbre of your voice, the sweetness of your breath, the longing in your eyes. You touch me even without touching me." Slowly, she lifted herself on her toes slightly until she could reach her lips and pressed a kiss there. "You are in my heart."

"But I can't wait for tomorrow," She cries sadly and presses their foreheads together. "Because you don't know when you'll love me enough, while you love him more each day."

Taylor leaves, as fast as she can, as far as she can. She ignores the pleading calls and drives over the speed limit, her vision being clouded by her tears as she recalls their conversation over and over again. It's still him. It's always him.

And it hurts, it hurts everywhere.