: Chapter 58

There was no evidence that the rain had been. It was like it had never happened. Even in the morning, the sun scorched itself through the clouds and shone down on the streets.

I took long hurried strides across the road to Lana’s street. I counted how many steps it took to get to her house to distract myself from thinking about the look on Stone’s face when he noticed that I was gone.

I wondered if there was such a thing as a walk of cuddling shame. If not then I had invented it.

Two hours was how long it took to pull myself away from him. Half that time was spent on manoeuvring myself out of his death-grip hold and replacing my space on top of him with a pillow.

I did not want to leave but I could not face him. My last thought before I left was that I was grateful that he was lying on his back. If I had even a glimpse of the medusa tattoo then I would not have been able to leave.

The Armstrong’s house came into view and I fastened my pace the last few yards until I arrived at the cobbled path up to the front door.

Lana was already outside and she was not alone. Brennan was standing there with his back to me as both of them continued their conversation. They both had not noticed me standing there.

I watched as Lana fiddled with the bottom of her sundress as she uttered under her breath ‘I understand. We were never really going to work out. I kind of knew that from the start.’

Brennan nodded his head ‘I wish I could have loved you.’

I had a theory that Brennan was just as secretive and standoffish as Stone. He just hid it much better with his charm and charisma. I always felt there was something he was holding back.

‘I wish I could have loved you too.’ She said back to him with a small sad smile.

Lana then noticed me. Her eyes went wide as she saw me standing there sheepishly. Brennan turned around to see what had her so shocked. His face remained passive as he offered me a small wave.

‘Sorry.’ I quickly apologised before motioning behind with my hand ‘I can circle the block if you two want to keep talking.’

‘It is fine.’ She waved off the idea before skipping over in my direction and embracing me in a hug ‘Happy birthday.’

‘Happy halloween.’ I replied because I really did not feel like celebrating my birthday.

Brennan was quick to move and hug me too as he said ‘Happy birthday, Little Ella.’

I pulled away and smiled up at him ‘Thank you.’

He then looked around over my shoulder like he was looking for something. More accurately someone.

‘Where is Stone?’ Brennan asked with a frown.

There was no point in lying because he had obviously realised that if Stone was not at the Lewis’ then he was with me.

‘Sleeping.’ I answered vaguely.

The frown on Brennan’s face deepened as he questioned ‘You left without telling him?’

‘He was still sleeping.’ I tried to argue ‘Which is unusual because he is usually awake by the break of dawn.’

Brennan scrubbed his hands over his face as he told me ‘That is because he has not slept in days. He is so worried about you.’

‘I know—’

‘Ella, he is miserable without you.’ He stated before he explained ‘He trained all the time anyway but now it is terrifying how much he does. He broke his phone to stop from calling you. He has shattered a mirror with his fist and damaged his knuckles. He split open a punching bag. He has trashed his room and he destroys everything that comes into his path because he is miserable.’

All I could do was look down and bite my trembling lip. I told myself that I was not going to cry again so I took a deep breath.

Lana was the one to speak up as she raised her voice at him ‘She is suffering too. She has just lost her dad and she does not need to think about this if she does not want to.’

‘I am sorry.’ Brennan sighed as his expression grew softer ‘It is just that you two are better together.’

‘I never wanted to hurt him. I still do not want to.’ I uttered.

He nodded but he sighed once once  ‘I know but you can not just up and leave. You can not just leave him wondering where you are. He can not take that.’

Brennan’s phone started ringing so he reached into his back pocket and pulled it out.

The ringing stopped after three beats and that is when I heard the deep rough voice.Even from a few metres away, I could hear Stone roaring from the other end of the line.

I purposely tuned out of listening to what he was saying. I did not want to know.

‘Calm down.’ Brennan tried to raise his voice to overpower the noise of the angry male on the other end of the line but it did not seem to be working.

That was when Brennan resulted to walking over and holding out the phone out to me.

Brennan mouthed ‘Talk to him.’

I put the phone to my ear but then pulled it back because the volume of the gravelly voice was too loud.

‘Do not tell me to fucking calm down. I have no idea where she fucking is or if she is okay.’ Stone bellowed, his voice thick with panic and anguish.

I finally spoke into the phone ‘Stone.’

The line went silent for several moments. All I heard was a deep sounding rumble then a sigh of relief.

‘It is Ella.’ I said lamely like he did not already know that it was me.

Silence stretched and then he finally breathed out one word.

‘Ella.’ His voice deepened as he said my name.

I looked at Lana’s concerned eyes as she watched me squirm. I then looked to Brennan who appeared worried too. Then I focused on the ground.

‘What happened?’ Stone demanded to know as his tone changed to one of a demanding dictator ‘I wake up and you are fucking gone. You just left and never said goodbye. You never told me where you were going.’

My mouth opened but then closed again.

‘Why would you do that?’ He gnarled, still sounding frenzied as he asked questions.

‘I am really sorry. I didn’t—’

Stone’s tone was stern and entirely demanding as he spoke ‘I have being going insane. I wake up and you are not there and—’

Cutting him off, I whispered into the phone ‘I could not face you.’

The line went silent.

His voice went hoarse as he mentioned ‘I thought we had figured everything out.’

Shaking my head like he could see me, I uttered ‘I meant what I said last night. You are better off without me.’

I had nothing to offer him. I was miserable. I could barely look after myself the past few days. Let alone give effort to someone else.

I knew I was in the wrong. I knew that it was horrible to cuddle into him one minute and leave the next but I could not help it. Lines between what I wanted and what I should do were blurred.

I was being pulled into so many directions that I felt dizzy and sick. All I wanted to do was isolate myself, curl up into a ball and cry A growl was his reply ‘Then what was last night? After that conversation?’

‘What do you mean?’ I queried, acting clueless.

‘What I mean is last night when you were in my arms telling me that you did not want me to let you go.’ He grumbled.

Even through the phone, I could feel the tension stirring inside him. I imagined his jaw ticking and his fist clenching.

Wrapping my free arm around myself, I lied through my teeth ‘I took more pills than I should have last night. I do not remember any of that. I went to bed after our conversation in the bedroom.’

Stone chuckled humourlessly. It was stained. I could feel his anger through the phone.

He stated, ‘You are the worst liar.’

My mouth twitched so I covered it with my hand before I took another deep breath.

‘Where are you?’ He asked sternly.

‘I can’t—’ I tried to plead.

‘Where are you?’ He repeated and it sounded less like a request and more of a commandment.

The phone shook in my hand as I lowered it from my ear. I walked over and thrust the mobile into Brennan’s chest before walking over to the stairs of the Armstrong’s porch and sitting down.

Lana was quick to join me as she sat down and put her arm around my shoulder.

‘What happened?’ She asked gently.

I watched as Brennan paced the front yard while he talked into the phone as I answered ‘Last night, I let the truth slip out.’

She tilted her head in confusion.

‘All I could think about was about how much I missed him. I had a moment of weakness and I told him the truth.’ I told her.

‘That you do not really want him to go?’

Nodding, I turned my attention back to Brennan as he made his way over to us.

‘Stone is on his way.’ He informed us as he put his phone back into his pocket.

Lana shook her head at him ‘If Ella does not want to see him then you both need to respect that.’

‘Stone knows what you are doing.’ Brennan accused ‘You are trying to push him away until he finally gives up and leaves.’

I did not deny it.

‘Ella, You could kill him and he would still come back for more.’ He stated like it was a matter of fact ‘He is never going to give up. You can not take his only source of happiness away from him.’

The bold statement left me speechless.

Brennan did not stop there because he added ‘He has only known you a matter of months but it feels like he has been in love with you all of his life.’

I did not want to hear anymore so I stood up and announced ‘I need a glass of water.’

I felt a lot more stronger physically. The walk from the porch l to the kitchen did not tire me out. However, I did feel emotionally exhausted and mentally drained.

Leaning forward, I rested on the counter and ran the tap while taking a glass and filling it. I gulped down half the content before I put it down. I took a few deep breaths as I stared out the window at the backyard.

When I looked back down at the glass of water, I saw a hand gripping the counter on either side of my body.

The largeness of the hands and how one of them had a skull covering the knuckles was enough of a hint to know who it was.

It was also obvious as to who stood behind me because my body reacted instantly. Goosebumps covered every skin molecule and heat travelled me from head to toe.

I knew that I was trapped and caged in between the kitchen counter and his body so I turned around. I kept my head straight and faced his stomach. I crossed my arms and did not look up at him.

He reached out and placed a finger under my chin and tugged gently so that I was looking up at him.

Stone’s voice was laced with desperation as he lowly let out ‘I need to see you.’

There was so much that I wanted to say but nothing left my mouth. I just watched him silently and counted the number of times his jaw clenched.

‘You are so stubborn.’ He pointed out, his dark gaze penetrating me.

‘Then get rid of me.’ I challenged.

‘No.’ He growled as an emotion I could not quite decipher crossed his face.

It was like the idea of getting rid of me hurt him to even think about.

I could see it. The devastating hurt. The longing. He could also see it in me. I saw the pain in his eyes and I knew that he could see the pain in mine.

‘Why did you leave like that?’ He interrogated, his volume dropping an octave.

‘Last night, I could not sleep.’ I answered him as I moved the hair out of my face ‘All I could think about was how much I was dreading waking up and trying to say goodbye to you again.’

‘You do not have to.’ He assured me as leaned down until our noses nearly touched ‘You are so scared of losing people but it is you that is running away. I am not going anywhere. It is you trying to leave me.’

All I could do was shake my head.

‘I should not have left without telling you.’ I confessed before I told him ‘I am really really sorry.’

‘You don’t need to apologise, Ella.’ He kept his eyes trained on my face when he uttered deeply ‘You need to tell me that you will not do it again.’

I thought I was going to cry again so I moved my head towards the floor and studied the tiles intently.

He pulled back but he kept his hands where they were so he could keep me caged in.

‘I am going to need a better reason on why you are trying to run away.’ He grumbled challengingly.

I shook my head and offered him no reply.

He scrubbed a tattooed hand over his face as a ragged breath left him.

‘The last time that you went off by yourself you ended up in an accident. I had to watch you unconscious for three days.’ He panted his words out gruffly like they hurt him to say ‘I had to sit and watch you get life support from a machine. I had to listen to doctors try and tell me that you might not make it.’

‘I’m sorry.’ I muttered.

His nostrils flared and I could see the emotions inside of him fighting their way out as he grumbled ‘You can not just do that. I went insane waking up and wondering where you were and if you were okay.’

‘Because you are so forthcoming with information.’ I joked and then cringed before offering him an apology ‘Sorry. Low blow.’

‘Please tell me why you are avoiding me.’ He leaned his head down so that he could be closer to me when speaking ‘I need to know what is wrong and I need to know how to make things better for you.’

‘I’m scared!’ I blurted out before letting out a small cry ‘I’m really scared.’

His hands quickly came up to clutch at me. He cupped either side of my face with his strong calloused hands.

‘You are never going to get hurt again.’ He rumbled, his voice rough and mellow ‘You think I would let that happen?’

‘I’m terrified.’ I said again before I explained ‘I’m so terrified that you are going to leave me. I would rather lose you now when the pain is still raw. If we stayed together and you left me in the future, I don’t think I would be able to handle it—’

‘I am never leaving.’

‘But—’ I began.

‘I am only going to say this once.’ He uttered lowly while he made a fist with his large hand and pounded it into the middle of his chest ‘Because it fucking hurts too much.’

I tilted my chin upwards and peering at him while waiting for his next words.

‘If I found you in bed with another man, I would still never leave you.’ His deep voice broke as if he needed me to hear the truth but it burst him to say ‘I would tear the bastard apart but I would never hurt you. I would take you home and love you harder so that you would never think of leaving me.’

A sob made its way up my throat. It was so painful that I raised a hand to my neck.

‘Nobody loves anything more than I love you.’ He delivered as if it was a law rather than a proclamation.

‘Valentine, I would never do that.’ I delivered to him and the sternness of my voice almost sounded as great as his ‘I love you and I would never even think about someone else.’

Another guy has never even crossed my mind since I met Stone. Everyone else seemed insignificant and the thought of having romantic feelings towards someone other than him was impossible. It was ludicrous to think it was anyone else but him.

‘It is hard for me to deal with grief. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do or what is meant to be the right thing.’ I told him softly ‘I need some time. Please.’

His phone went off before we could argue any further. He pulled it out of his jean pocket and did not bother to check the name before declining the call.

The dark eyes never left me as his phone instantly went off again and Stone declined it once more.

‘Answer it.’ I insisted to him quietly.

He picked the phone up on the third attempt of someone calling and then he growled into the phone ‘What?’

Whoever was on the phone spoke to him for a few minutes. Stone said nothing back while he watched me.

Eventually, he ended the call and put it back into the pocket of his leather jacket.

‘Who was it?’ I asked, using the call to my advantage to change the subject.

‘Reed.’ He said before letting out a rough sound of dissatisfaction ‘He needs me at the beach.’

I managed to put on an encouraging smile as I spoke ‘You got to go, Vulcan.’

Stone chuckled humourlessly, obviously not happy ‘I do not feel like Vulcan.’

‘Then who do you feel like?’ I asked while tilting my head as I continued to watch his jaw tick.

‘Orpheus,’ He answered before explaining ‘And you are Eurydice. Every time I feel we are moving forward then I turn back and you are gone. Every time you are in reach then you disappear.’

To avoid the ache in my chest, I let out a small laugh ‘To think people call me the nerd.’

He shook his head with softness in his gaze as he listened to my laughter.

I voiced ‘You know how that myth ends. Orpheus loses Eurydice. He cannot reach her.’

‘You are wrong. He goes to the depths of Tartarus for her.’ He told me gruffly ‘If I have to do the same for you then so be it. I have been to hell and back a few times this past week anyway.’

‘I am not planning to go to hell for a few years yet so you do not need to worry.’ I deadpanned.

‘Tonight, you will be back in my arms.’ He stated like it was inevitable and predestination.

‘You can’t be talking about the bet.’

Stone nodded his head, looking like some kind of tenacious God ready for war. An almighty look of someone who would clear anything and everything in their path to get what they want.

‘I am not some kind of trophy to be won.’ I accused.

‘No. You are not.’ He agreed before glancing at me intently ‘You are my Medusa. There is not a fucking chance in hell that I am going another day without you.’

When I did not reply he then pulled something out of his other pocket. A sheet of paper folded up. He did not quite meet my eye as he handed it to me.

I flickered my attention between him and the piece of paper that felt important as I questioned ‘What is it?’

‘You never got to read my essay.’

My hand held onto the sheet of paper tightly. I did not plan on reading it. I would lock it up and keep it hidden like the rest of my feelings.

His phone beeped again and he exhaled sharply before cursing.

‘Go.’ I whispered.

Before I could pull myself away, he brought his arms around me so that I was crushed against his chest. He rested his mouth on my head and left a kiss there. I let myself sink into the warmth before I pulled away a minute later.

He lingered at the top of my head, begrudging to leave.

In his gravelly deep tone, he uttered ‘Happy birthday, Medusa.’

I tried to smile again but it came out all shaky.

The arms trapping me to him fell and he took a last good look at me before turning and leaving.

As soon as he left the kitchen, I let out the deep breath that I had been holding. I stared at the doorway and the absence of where he once was.

Dread took over every vein inside of me. He had to leave for Litora Bello. He probably had to train because it was the final. The big fight was happening in a matter of hours. Whoever he was facing was going to be just as good a fighter as he was and that thought made me feel sick.

Not thinking about it any further, I pushed myself off my hold on the sink and ran through the living room to the front door.

As I felt the fresh air hit me, I ignored the stares off Brennan and Lana who were still talking on the stairs.

‘Lurch.’ I called but it came out quieter than I intended it to be.

He heard it anyway because he turned around instantly. He took long determined strides so that he was in front of me again.

‘Are you going to be okay?’ I asked as undisguised concern flowed from me ‘Tonight, I mean. With the fight. Are you going to be okay?’

Stone nodded, his lip twitching.

‘I am going to win.’ He declared ‘Then I am coming to get my girl.’

My heart skipped a beat and all I could do was gape at him.

His voice went deeper as he said one word ‘Come.’

‘What do you mean?’ I questioned.

‘Tonight. Come to my fight.’

I could not help but smile as I told him ‘You kept Litora Bello from me for weeks and now you want me to go?’

‘If I got what I wanted then you would never leave my side again.’

His phone went off a couple of times again. It was just a text but he still looked down at his phone in frustration.

‘I can’t.’ I whispered.

Even the thought of him potentially getting hurt was too much for me to deal with.

I covered up my concern by adding to my reply ‘Lana’s halloween party is tonight.’

‘I wish that I could show you how much I crave you. I wish that I could let you look into my mind because I only think about you.’ He cupped my face and lowered his voice as he spoke ‘If you could see how much I loved you then you would not try and leave.’

Everything I needed to say got lost in the air.

I ended up whispering ‘Please come back okay.’

I took a step back and so did he. Nothing else was said but I could feel it. The incompleteness. Our conversation was far from over.

Stone walked away but not before a last glance over his shoulder at me.

Brennan followed foot as he waved a last goodbye to Lana and told me ‘See you tonight.’

Lana and I went back inside. I strolled to the sofa as she went through to the kitchen.

I rested my head on a pillow as I rubbed my temples in a circular motion. I let my eyes close momentarily The sofa moved as Lana sat down next to me.

I opened my eyes to saw her sitting there holding a cupcake. It was decorated in green swirl icing and it had one lit candle in it.

Holding the cake out, She smiled encouragingly ‘Make a wish.’

Blowing it out, I used my wish and any others that I might have had for him. All my wishes were for Stone. I wanted him to win the fight and come back unscathed.

She set the cake down on the coffee table before walking over to the other sofa to grab two wrapped presents. She set them on my lap and motioned for me to open them.

I smiled and started to open the first one. It was a flat package and it felt a lot like clothes. I pulled out the material with my finger and tilted my head at the swimsuit.

It was nothing that I would ever choose out for myself but it was nice. The one-piece suit was ombré and went from yellow to a royal blue.

When I peered back up at Lana, she looked sheepish and unsure what to say so I spoke instead.

‘Thank you. It is beautiful.’ I told her as I sent her a grateful look.

‘Open the other one.’ She said excitedly.

Tearing open the sparkly wrapping paper, I expected to find some kind of book because of the feeling of it.

It was so much better than a book. It was a photo album. I opened the first page and seen photos of us both when we were younger. I flipped through more pages. There were loads of photos of Lana and me. Some just silly selfies. Most of them us eating food. All of them were so precious to me and I could not fight the happiness as I kept going through them.

‘I love it.’ I gushed at the book she made me before I leapt at her to give her the biggest hug ‘Thank you so much, Barbie.’

‘You are welcome, Freak Show.’ She said back as she wrapped her arms around me.

‘I have been a real shitty friend.’ I cried into her shoulder.

She pulled back and scowled ‘That is the furthest thing you have been. You have always put me before yourself. You are entirely selfless. You have looked after me ever since we were ten. Now it is my turn to look after you.’

Smiling at her stubborn expression, I thought to myself that she had spent too much time with me. My stubbornness has rubbed off on her.

‘Every time you think about others happiness before your own. That is why you are pushing away Stone. You think you are a burden to him but you are not.’ She emphasised each word as she continued her speech ‘You try and hide it but I know that you have a low self esteem. You do not think you are good enough but you are so unbelievably wrong.’

I kept quiet.

‘Ella, you are more than enough.’

To avoid her scowl and because I loved her more than anything, I brought her back into a hug.

As I embraced her, I noticed another item on the other sofa. It was not wrapped. It was just a plain cardboard box.

I pulled away and pointed to the package as I asked her ‘What is that?’

Lana looked at it before answering ‘Stone left it. I guess it is your birthday present from him.’

As well as not reading the note, I would not be opening that box.

‘Put it in your room.’ I instructed her and fought against the urge to run over there and open it ‘Keep the box from me. There is a piece of paper in the kitchen from him as well. Put it with it and hide it from me.’

She watched me for a second before nodding once.

Then it was like she had remembered something because her face lit up as she spoke ‘I also bought you a costume to wear tonight.’

‘Oh no.’

It was going to be a very interesting night.