2.4 - Regrets And Reconciliation

~~*~~

Spock had been working late in his classroom, looking over the corrupted coding of his Kobayashi Maru test. He had already told the academy's board of directors his assumptions of cheating in James kirk's test that afternoon and they had scheduled a disciplinary meeting the next morning, which Cadets would likely be informed about in a few hours, but he had yet to work out how the cadet had hacked into his program or even how he had gotten his hands on it.

Of course, it was not strictly necessary to have the how in these disciplinaries, though it did make them move along faster if the case was complete, Spock felt personally wronged and responsible for this offence and he needed to know how that cadet had done it. He didn't seem the smartest cadet, even though Spock had looked up his files and saw that he had above average grades in all subjects. But he had failed his past two attempts and even the fact that he felt it necessary to have three attempts at a test most feel reluctant to have a single try on showed how his brain worked.

Spock needed to know. And he'd stay up all night scouring over the code if he had to.

Spock was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. Looking curiously at the time from the clock to the side, he frowned. Who could it be at his door so late? "Come in." He called, looking up at the door to see who would enter his classroom.

But then no one did.

Now ever more curious about who it was who had knocked on his classroom at such a late hour of the night, Spock quickly got up from his desk and walked over. He couldn't hear any running through the door, so he knew the person was either still there, or simply walking away. Either way, he'd be able to catch a glimpse of them further down the long corridor if they had changed their mind and left before he got a chance to open the door.

Though, these thoughts were unnecessary as he swung open the door to find a startled Caliaire standing a few steps away. Surprised to see the cadet, he quickly allowed his eyes to look over him. He was out of uniform, wearing a black shirt that's several undone top buttons made Spock's eyes stall on the pale blueish skin revealed, and smelled faintly of alcohol, making Spock believe he had just been at one of the campus' several bars. But his completion, though slightly blushed from embarrassment, didn't show any signs of being drunk.

Judging by the widened blue eyes, and conflicted look across his face, Spock assumed that Cali had got lost in thought, the reason he hadn't responded to Spock beckoning him inside.

Frowning at his past friend in slight worry, wondering why he was at his door, Spock questioned him. "Are you alright Cadet Caliaire?"

Meeting Spock's eyes, Cali looked up and Spock could see so much emotion in them, much more than he thought anyone could feel at once. "Commander Spock I..." he started, trailing off as he looked away again, obviously unsure of what to say, if to say anything. Sighing deeply, Cali took a large breath to try and steel his nerves and banish his still racing thoughts. "No. I find myself not feeling well and needing company." he finally admitted before Spock could see the snap on confidence as he looked back down and away, as if about to leave, "I'm sorry, I know we shouldn't—"

Before he could turn to leave fully, Spock stepped out of the way and gestured inside the classroom. "Come in." he said quietly, trying to manage a soft and caring voice.

Cali looked up to meet Spock's eyes again, as if to look for some sign that he were joking before nodding slowly and slipping past the Vulcan to stand a few paces inside the rather dark classroom.

Spock watched him enter before closing the door, feeling extremely worried about the cadet. He had never seen him look so negatively emotive, so conflicted. Not even on the last day of their past friendship. Walking further up the classroom in order to sit at his desk to talk, Spock paused halfway up the room and turned around. Cali was once again frozen not too far from the doorway, obviously trapped in his mind again. Finding himself extremely troubled by the anxious look on Cali's face, Spock backtracked and approached the man slowly.

Unsure of what words to use to help break the man from his own thoughts, Spock found himself reaching over to Cali before he could stop himself, brushing their fingers together gently. The show off affection, intended simply for comfort, seemed to do the trick as Cali's head suddenly shot up, widened eyes locking with his own contemplative ones once again. Spock felt great pleasure in the pale blue blush that now dusted the Polyvore's cheeks to match his slight green one. The man did understand the meaning of the gesture.

Figuratively shaking the thoughts from his head, Spock looked down at Cali. "What is troubling you? May I be of assistance?" he asked gently, not wanting to sound too emotionless unlike his usual stance on tone.

"I..." Cali started, not sure, now that he was here, if he really should he talking about it. He should just keep his problems to himself, Spock didn't really care. Sighing to banish the lies, he allowed himself to trust the Vulcan, as he had started to do before, "My partner."

Feeling conflicted for a moment, Spock couldn't banish the multiple rises in emotions he felt upon hearing how Cali's partner had caused this serious of a reaction. "I see, I fear I may not be the best person to come to for advice on relationships."

Cali laughed lightly, though Spock did not miss the self-deprecating tone to it. "No, I suppose not." He replied, before continuing, trying to place his emotions behind the air of professionalism he had still always tried to keep with his professor, "But I have to admit you were the first person I could even think to come to, even with what has happened."

Spock found himself all too pleased with Cali's admission, proud that Cali would still think only of him when in need, no matter how selfish it made him seem. "I see. I will try my best to assist in that case."

Looking conflicted again, Spock allowed Cali his break to think of how to talk, staying quiet. "He... He lied to me." He said finally, sounding very unsure, before his tone turned dismissive, as if trying to go back to rejecting his own emotions. Spock knew the feeling all too well. "Which shouldn't be such a big thing. I know I'm overreacting but I've been lied to so much in my relationships that I fear I react quite badly. I should just apologise, right?" Cali looked up and met Spock's eyes once more, showing him how conflicted he felt in that one look.

"I will not know if I do not know what he lied to you about." Spock admitted, before quickly continuing, "However, I find myself unable to believe that you are overreacting. Sit down." he gestured to the closest set of chairs to them, one row from the back. Cali looked at them uncertainly for a moment, before taking the second seat in, allowing for Spock to pull out the end chair and sit down.

However, after sitting down, Cali went silent again, looking down at his lap and anxiously fidgeting with his hands. He, of course, was too lost in his anxiously racing thoughts to remember that Vulcan's viewed such actions as rather intimate. Nor did he look up to see how it was affecting the Vulcan, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. The deepening blush Spock was gaining, his eyes no longer studying Cali's conflicted face and instead locked on the constantly rubbing and interlocking fingers.

Finally finding his thoughts, Cali looked up, causing Spock to finally tear his eyes away and focus. "On Thursday, a month ago, the night I had to rush away because he called me?"

"I remember." Spock confirmed. It had turned out to be their final Thursday together. Although he remembered feeling particularly disappointed about spending less time with Cali that evening, he vividly remembered the feeling of Cali's lips upon his cheek. Thinking back on it now, he could once again feel the warm tingling where they had caressed his cheek.

"He told me he and his friend had an assignment due the next day that they needed my help with. I helped of course, I care about him. I didn't want him getting in trouble." He explained, before looking inwards disdainfully again, "I should have worked it out then, the coding was too complex to be a simple assignment."

Spock frowned at the tone Cali used upon himself and tried to take on of reassurance in his reply. "I have found that you are a very caring and trusting person, if he took advantage of that then it is not you who is at fault."

"Thanks Spock." Cali smiled lightly.

"I am just stating facts." Spock stated, unable to stop his cold Vulcan tone from being slightly to strong.

Either way, his words caused Cali's smile to grow slightly, it was nowhere near his famous warm motherly smile that Spock had grown to care for, but it was a smile. Unfortunately, after a moment, it seemed as if Cali's mind got the best of him again as he frowned once more. "But you don't get it." He insisted, "The coding he asked me to help him with, the 'assignment' was the Kobayashi Maru. He tricked me into helping him cheat the test. I didn't realise it at the time. I only found out an hour ago when his friend let it slip. He wasn't even going to tell me what he did."

"I see, I had expected he had cheated." Spock frowned, no wonder the coding was so well done if it was Cali who had done it. While he had never seen the silverette code before, he knew his species natural talent at deciphering languages would help him to be quite efficient at such a topic.

"Gods, I shouldn't be telling you this, I shouldn't even be here." Cali let out in frustration, suddenly feeling guilty about talking to Spock, who would get Jim in trouble with Cali's words, "I'm betraying his trust..."

"He betrayed you first by tricking you into doing something in which you would not have agreed to otherwise. It was right for you to come to me, thank you." he answered, looking into Cali's beautiful blue eyes sincerely.

"I still feel shitty."

Although Spock paused at Cali's language, never having heard the man swear before, he still managed to note that Cali still looked troubled, "Is there something more that is bothering you?"

After a pause, he shrugged.

"If you need to talk about it, I will listen. Vulcan's have very good listening skills." Cali let out a small genuine laugh at Spock's small joke, having never heard the Vulcan tell one. His reaction made Spock's lips curl upwards a pinch into a small relieved smile before he subconsciously schooled his expression.

Having not noticed Spock's slip in expression, Cali went on to try and explain what he felt, feeling a lot more open with Spock now that he had started. "I guess... It just makes it worse that Jim made me betray you, knowing how much I... respect you..." Suddenly feeling stupid again for his admission, Cali quick backtracked and apologised, "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Spock questioned, tilting his head slightly in confusion, not understanding what Cali would have to be sorry for. He felt positively knowing that Cali held such high respect for him that he would feel so strongly over a betrayal of him, even if there was none taking place.

"Being stupid and emotional." he admitted, looking away.

"With you," Spock started, pausing long enough to draw Cali's eyes to meet his own, "I find that I do not mind."

"Thank you Spock," Cali smiled wider, "that really means a lot to me."

"You are very welcome Caliaire." Spock replied, allowing himself to show a small smile to Cali, making his one even larger.

The two then sat in each other's company for a few moments, just enjoying the warm atmosphere they had created in comparison the ones that had followed them around recently.

Having calmed down significantly, Cali realised for the first time who he was with. He was with Spock, in his classroom. The only reason he would be in the room so late, and not in his apartment, or staff dorm, Cali wasn't sure which, would be if he was doing work. Felling slightly insecure again, Cali tried to hide it by sitting up straighter, though that only made Spock slightly more worried. "I should leave you be, you were doing work."

Finding himself not wanting to lose Cali's company, not sure if or when they would be able to be with each other like this again, Spock shook his head slightly, finding an excuse for him to stay. "I was working on finding how Cadet Kirk cheated, perhaps you can help by showing me what they did?"

"I don't know..." Cali replied, looking conflicted once again making Spock quickly continue.

"I would not mention you at all," he explained, before realising what it would mean for Cali and conceding, "however I understand, you do not wish to betray your partner."

Thinking for a moment, Cali looked back up with a small unsure smile, "I'll help. It'll help me ease my guilt."

"You have no reason to feel guilty." Spock reassured, still not understanding why he would feel that way even after being told not to.

"Guilt's a funny thing Spock, you can know you've done nothing wrong at it can still eat away at you." he explained with a slight amused tone.

"Strange." Spock decided.

"Yes, it is."

"Well, let us get on, it is late and I assume you will want to be awake for classes tomorrow."

"Right." Cali nodded, following Spock's lead as he stood up and walked over to his desk at the front. Though, while Spock sat in his chair in front of his computer, Cali stayed standing beside him, there being no second chair at the professor's desk.

Seeing the issue, Spock told him to bring one of the student's chairs to the front so he could sit down, however Cali declined. "Surely you will be uncomfortable standing up?" Spock questioned, but Cali waved him off.

"It's okay, I don't mind standing."

Spock let the topic drop as they got to work, Spock first explaining what he was trying to do and then allowing Cali to recall what he and the others had done to the program. With Cali's help, Spock was able to find the glitches in the code a lot faster, though it was still a long process. Cali had done a much better job at hacking into and reprogramming the complicated code than he had realised.

Throughout the night, Cali stayed stood beside Spock's seat, just slightly behind so that he could see the computer screen clearly and easily reach across the Vulcan to point out places where he had remembered doing bits.

After over an hour had passed, Spock had suggested again that Cali bring a chair to the front for him to sit on, but had once again denied needing one.

After even more time passed, Spock offered to go down and grab one of the chairs for him. Though Cali had laughed sweetly at the offer, he had once again denied it, standing close to Spock.

After a few more hours of working on the code, the two had finally completed it, having found and detailed where the security faults were in the program and rewritten them so that they were much stronger, where parts of the code had been changed and fixed them so the code would no longer change its parameters half way through the test so that it was beatable and had started to type up all of the found evidence of tampering for the report Spock would be giving to the board of directors to look over before the disciplinary.

Although Cali didn't actually have to stay for the last part, that would take Spock several more hours to complete and likely take them both well into the morning, he still did. Keeping the commander company and offering small bits of conversation when he could tell Spock wasn't too focused on his typing.

By that point, Cali had decided to sit himself on the floor next to Spock's chair, leaning his back against his desk for comfort. Spock had given him a curious look when he saw him settling on the wooden planks of the floor. It had prompted him to offer the chair again, but was less shocked when Cali turned him down again, having finally expected it this time. He had also told the cadet that he could leave, not needing to stay any longer, but Cali had said he didn't mind staying, and Spock wasn't going to argue against the company.

So that's how they stayed, Spock working on his report while Cali occupied himself on the floor, occasionally making conversation.

~~*~~

It was the early hours of the morning when Spock finally finished his report. Leaning back in his chair after giving it one final proofread to ensure he had included everything, Spock nodded in approval. Finally finished, he turned to his side and looked down to thank Cali for his help and for keeping him company during the night when the words silenced themselves.

The silver-haired man had fallen asleep, though Spock was not sure when, and was now sleeping peacefully leant against his desk. He simply froze for a moment, looking down at Cali's smooth features that looked so ethereal in the glowing rays of the morning sun seeping through the windows nearby. His hair shone as if was made from real molten metal, sculpted delicately to frame his graceful face in elegant waves. His hand moved before he could stop it, brushing a silver strand behind the man's ear, his fingers brushing gently against his blue-tinted cheek.

Spock looked over at the clock on the side of his desk and read the time. 0430 hours. Sighing, he lightly called out Cali's name, softly placing a hand on his shoulder causing the sleeping man to stir slowly.

"Commander?" Cali questioned, his voice quiet and soft though slightly rough from sleep, as he gradually opened his eyes and looked up to see Spock looking down at him with a gentle expression.

"You fell asleep." Spock explained quietly, unable to place the feeling he felt in his stomach at hearing the younger man's deeper morning voice.

"Oh." he replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he sat up slightly, "What time is it?"

"It is 0430 hours." Spock replied, able to school his voice despite the slight tremble he felt run through him as Cali spoke.

"Oh," he said again, covering his mouth as he yawned, before looking up at his commander from his place on the floor, "have you slept?"

"No, Vulcan's require less sleep than humans."

"What about Polyvores?"

"I am unsure, though due to the physical similarities between Humans and Polyvores, I would assume so." He replied seriously, having thought for a moment on what he has learned from Cali of his people and from the little research he had done that aligned with facts he knew.

Cali laughed gently, obviously having meant the question rhetorically. "What time is the thing?" he questioned, forgetting the word for it in his tired daze.

"The disciplinary is scheduled for 1000 hours." he reminded, understanding what Cali meant.

"Disciplinary." Cali lightly mumbled under his breath in remembrance, though it caused Spock some amusement as he heard Cali reminding himself. "So, we've got 5 hours, plenty of time for a nap." he said pointedly, looking up at the Vulcan.

"I do not need one." Spock denied, which was true. Despite having stayed up all night, he felt physically fine and could likely make it through the day without needing to get any sleep.

"I know." Cali assured, manoeuvring himself so he was sat cross-legged facing Spock. Why he didn't just stand up, Spock didn't know. "But Jim is gonna be very stubborn and argumentative, he'll try and get a rise out of you. It's probably best you attend refreshed. I know you don't like to show any signs of your emotions."

Realising the advice was out of concern for Spock's emotional wellbeing, and with genuine reason for concerned, Spock felt slightly happy as he nodded, giving in. "I see, thank you for your consideration. Perhaps it best you take your own advise as well."

"Probably." Cali agreed, stretching his arms up for a moment before finally coming up to his feet, "Thank you for helping me last night."

"I should say the same to you." Spock retorted, his tone still much softer than usual.

"Then it cancels out." Cali joked with a soft smile, dusting himself off despite there being no need to after getting up from the Vulcan's pristine floor. "See you later Commander." He said, giving one last shy, but content, smile to Spock, who could still clearly see the sleep in the man's eyes.

"You too, Cadet." Spock nodded, giving his own small smile for a moment, that Cali happily noticed, before he left the classroom, planning on getting back to his apartment to have a few more hours nap.

~~*~~

Ay, Spock and Cali got to spend some more quality time together!