Chapter 35

When everyone’s up, and it’s not just Hayes and me, I was able to loosen up.

Hayes hovered me, he was worried from earlier today. I didn’t want him to worry, I shouldn’t have hugged him. I’ll try to keep my dis-tance.

“Let’s get doughnuts, Little Richards.” Hayes says.

Hayes tosses me his car keys. I look at Jeff.

“Jeff, you want to go with me?” I ask him.

I look at Hayes, he smiles. It’s forced, I can tell.

“Sure. Don’t scratch it Little Richards.” He nudges me.

I toss the keys to Jeff.

“I’m a terrible driver.” I laugh.

“If that’s okay?” Jeff asks.

I look at Hayes, he’s looks at me. I brush him off, because his warmness gives me chills. Hayes nods to Jeff.

“Let’s go.” I say.

We get in Hayes’s car, and drive to Roger’s Bakery.

The entire ride is silent, I don’t take my eyes off of Jeff though.

The rain gets heavy, and I start to reminisce.

~~~~~

The sky was grey, the thunder shook the house. The lightning was bright.

It was storm season in Versa.

I was 11 years old. It was spring break.

Ms. Bartley’s car was in our driveway, I ran to the garage to see her. I hadn’t seen her in months, I missed her.

After Ms. Bartley found out about the affair, I thought she hated me. I still thought it was my fault, for everything.

But it wasn’t Ms. Bartley in our driveway, it was Mr. Bartley.

I walk up to him, slowly. He quietly watches me, yet he doesn’t say anything. He’s slumped against the car. He is crying. I’ve never seen him like this.

I’ve never looked at him for this long.

My mother comes out from behind me and hugs him.

She starts to cry.

I stepped out into the rain to ask him about Hayes. My pajamas are soaked now. My slippers are drenched in the warm rain. I felt but-terflies.

I felt scared.

Mr. Bartley ignores my questions. He keeps looking at me but won’t say anything. I walk closer to them.

I’m close enough to hear everything, now. I’m close enough to know why Mr. Bartley and my mother were crying. I’m close enough to know what had happened to Timmy, at The Coast.

Everything goes numb. A strong drop in my stomach pulses and doesn’t go away. I cry.

“Alex, go inside!” My mother shouts to me.

In shock, I do as I’m told.

~~~~~

“We’re Here.” Jeff’s voice wakes me up.

It’s pouring out now. Jeff parks far from cars, which meant we had to dash to the door.

Once we get inside, our clothes are soaked, my slippers are full of water. They bring back memories.

I press the water in my slippers, out onto the laminated tile, in si-lence. The rain, buzzing lights, and un-needed ac, covered the noise.

“Hayes texted me, told me to get three weird doughnuts, for you.” Jeff smiles.

“I’m not hungry.” I lie.

“Okay.” He says.

Hands in pocket, he goes to order. Jeff orders a dozen doughnuts, including three for me, and two coffees.

“Here.” He hands me a coffee.

“Just black. It will wake you up.” He says.

I take the coffee and drink it. It burns my tongue. I hold the cup, it warms me in the cold bakery.

When everything’s ready, Jeff looks panicked. The heavy rain, a box of doughnuts, and driving a car that doesn’t belong to him. He smiles through it though, which warms me even more.

We open the bakery door, and I run to the car. Jeff walks, with one hand in pocket.

I’m sitting in the car, watching, and laughing at Jeff. Eventual-ly, I go back out into the rain, to help him.

The car goes silent when we get inside. Each time we make eye contact, we laugh.

The ride home wasn’t quiet though, the rain was loud enough. The radio stayed off, until we reached Rochelle’s.

Jeff parks across the street.

“I don’t want to go inside yet.” I tell him.

He turns up the volume on the radio, and we sit in silence, watch-ing the rain, and watching each other.

I bite my lip and kiss him. Our bodies collide again. I hear the doughnut box. I feel it crushing between our bodies.

While we’re kissing, I glide my hands down Jeff’s pants. They glide over his briefs, then under.

As the rain fell, I felt Jeff, and he felt me. We are now drenched in rain, sticky and wet.

When we stop, our breaths are heavy, our lungs are stretched, and our bodies are buzzing.

Jeff grabs the crushed doughnut box, and we race inside the house.

I’m happy now. I won.

“Where were you guys?” Rochelle asks.

Jeff and I are still trying to catch our breaths.

“The rain got us.” Jeff exhales.

I watch as he takes off his shirt and goes to the washroom.

My eyes follow him, until I see Hayes. I’m avoiding eye contact now. I toss him the wet keys and thank him. He’s about to say some-thing, but I feel too embarrassed. So, I go to the kitchen. He follows me.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

He was clean, and dry. I was sticky, wet, and guilty. He looks worried, yet I dodge another conversation with him.

I start to eat a doughnut, in front of Hayes.

I feel better, my pulsing stomach is quieter.

Followed by the rain flavored, now cold coffee that aided my burnt tongue. It’s bitter, and earthy. I like it.

When there’s too much silence between the two of us, I go upstairs, and put on some clothes Rochelle gave me.

I’m dressed in Rochelle’s post freshmen cheer gear. I’m wearing a school cheer hoodie, and neon teal shorts.

~~~~~

We were rained in most of the day, because it’s storm season.

It was movies, polaroid’s, music, frozen pizza, and Rochelle’s favor-ite, board games. I was glued to Jeff the entire time, and he was glued to me. He made me forget about a lot of things.

When I’m with Jeff, all I can feel, is him. I enjoy being around him. I really like him.

Rochelle gave Jeff and I, googly eyes every minute. Hayes kept his distance, he was drinking a lot. Too much.

Each time Hayes and I made eye contact, I’d feel guilty. I’d think about my dream last night, I’d think about my secrets.

We passed the time and waited for the rain to stop. Once it did, we decided to eat out at a restaurant, one of the only restaurants, in Versa.

There are no more than two real “restaurants” in Versa. There is Rizzo’s, and Fisherman Sea Side.

We went to Rizzo’s, which is on the waterfront.

However, the rain smell, masked the garlic and pasta aroma. The restaurant looked vacant, and grey which made things feel, and look blue. It was too wet, and still too gloom to even call this a double “date”. To even call Rizzo’s, a restaurant.

It’s still better than sitting in silence, while I wait for everyone else to finish eating a shared, frozen pizza.

We get a booth. It smells like purple cleaner. Jeff and I sit on one side, and Hayes and Rochelle sit across from us. The seats squeak, when we sit down. It’s awkward again, but we order.

They start to bring in the food. I asked for anything without meat, dairy, or eggs.

They were nice enough to bring me a spinach salad with two cherry tomatoes on each side, and an almost raw, doughy bread stick. Even though this was a pizza, and pasta-based restaurant, this is all they “had” for me.

Some food gets passed out, and Hayes starts up again. He’s buzzed.

“Did they give you dressing?” He laughs.

“Yep, olive oil pesto.” I say.

Hayes takes his fork, grabs a cherry tomato from my plate, smears it in the pesto, and eats it. I watch him silently. Everyone’s quiet again. They watch Hayes, I bite my lip.

“I like cherries.” He jokes.

He chews in Rochelle’s ear, she pushes him. She laughs aloud.

I look away from Hayes and Rochelle when they kiss. Jeff holds my hand, he’s looking at me.

“What did you get?” I smile.

“A salad.” He smiles back.

Jeff starts to rub my bare thigh. My face beats. Hayes’s foot hits mine under the table.

I look at them kiss again, then back at my salad. I bite down on a lemon.

Its bitter taste burns my lips, and my coffee burned tongued. I lick my bitter lips, when Jeff goes higher up my thigh.

I can feel both Rochelle and Hayes’s eyes on us. I hold Jeff’s hand under the table, to stop him from going any higher.

I look up at Hayes. He’s not looking at me anymore.

Jeff excuses himself and goes to the bathroom. It’s now just the three of us.

“Did you guys have sex at the party, or something? He’s like, to-tally glued to you.” She laughs.

I drink more water, my gulps fill the quiet restaurant.

“Did you have sex last night?!” She pries.

I get too shy to talk about it. Hayes is staring at me now, not saying anything. I scrunch my hair.

“What did you get?” I ask Hayes.

He ignores me and starts to trace circles on my glass cup instead.

The waitress brings in a pizza. I tense and look at Hayes, he’s smiling at me.

He loves pizza, I hate it. I loved it once though.

The smell brought back memories, sad memories, bad ones. Hayes grabs a slice, it’s still piping hot.

I can feel the heat from here.

I watch Hayes put the slice on his plate, he looks at me. I look away, upset. I hold my stomach, too sensitive to look at anyone now. I stare at my salad. I’m sad now. I play with the stiff spinach, when I hear Rochelle laughing.

I can feel her wet shoes touch my bare shins under the table. She’s doing something, to Hayes.

I drop my fork.

He’s looking at me now, he’s mad. I’m about to cry, because the room is getting smaller, and I’m starting to overthink past memories.

Rochelle starts to kiss Hayes’s neck; her hands are still under the table. My eyes start to water, I bite down on my lip, and pick my nails. I’m trying to stop the tears.

Hayes’s voice is soft, he’s hurt. He grabs Rochelle’s hands, and tells her to stop. He gets up from the table and goes to the bathroom. I watch him.

It’s just Rochelle and me. She’s quiet now, she’s sad. I want to say something, but my voice is heavy, and sore. I knew if I tried to say anything, I’d cry. So, I stay silent.

“He’s so uptight lately.” She says.

“Why?” Is all I can get out.

“I think it’s Kakalina.” She mumbles.

She gets up from the table and goes into the same bathroom as Hayes.

Kakalina Jeff comes back to the table, he looks dewy.

“I’m not hungry.” Jeff says.

“Me neither.” I say.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

“I think I’m sick.” He says.

Why aren’t you eating?” He asks.

“I think I’m sick too.” I say.

The guilt made me sick, the lies made me feel sick. The habit I thought I had under control, makes me too sick to eat anything.

I fucking hate pizza.

The restaurant starts to play music, when the blowing fans, stop. The music is lighter than the mood before, not much, but better than the silence.

Even though the sky was getting darker, the mood was getting lighter. The gloom was almost gone, and the aromas are heavy again.

They finally turn on lights, when more people start to come in.

My eyes are glued to the bathroom still. I can only think of Ro-chelle and Hayes. They weren’t in the bathroom long, but it felt long to me. It made me sick.

The waiter takes both Jeff’s and my un-touched salad away. Jeff’s holding my hand under the table, he’s leaned against me. He’s tired.

I keep watching the bathroom.

Finally, it swings open, and Hayes comes out. His face is red, he keeps moving his hair.

I sit up, waking Jeff. I haven’t seen him this mad since Rochelle’s house, when I accused him of cheating.

He ignores me when I call him. He leaves the restaurant. Ro-chelle comes from the bathroom and sits back down at the table. She picks at Hayes’s pizza in silence.

She’s trying to hide the fact, that she was crying.

I look at her, a sleepy Jeff, then at Hayes, who’s outside.

I get up and go outside.

“Hayes! What’s going on? What did you do to Rochelle?” I ask him.

He’s touching his hair, trying to smile.

“I just wasn’t feeling it today Alex. Go back inside.” He says.

He looks so hurt I want to cry for him. I want to hug him too, but I can see Rochelle through the window, Hayes looks at Rochelle and gets more uptight.

“Seriously Alex, leave me alone, alright?!” He says.

“You’ve been acting weird all day? You don’t get to avoid this?” I say.

“Oh, just me? You cry in my arms this morning, then ignore me all day. You hug me, but I can’t hug you back, or even talk to you.” He says.

“That’s different.” I mumble.

“You can’t drive Hayes, you’ve been drinking. I’ll drive you home.” I say.

I grab the keys from his hand.

“Why do you care?” He asks.

You Saved Me Once Book 1 Chapter 34: 18Our Parents Were Together worlds apart Chapter 76: Episode 75 The Witches Chapter 23: Meeting With Moxie I try to hold his hand, but he steps back.

“What the fuck is going on with you?!? Is it Kakalina?” I ask. He laughs.

“Of course, Rochelle told you. You two tell each other every-thing, huh?” He asks.

“Does she know about us?” He asks.

“Of course not. Another one of your secrets, huh?” He says.

A cab pulls into the restaurant parking lot. Hayes gets inside, and it drives off.

I fiddle his keys in my hand and wipe my eyes before I go back in-side.

“Ready to go?” I ask.

Rochelle is standing by the door, Jeff is still asleep in the booth.

You Saved Me Once Book 1 worlds apart The Witches