Chapter 39
You Saved Me Once Book 1
Weâre are parked on a dirt road, outside of town. We could see Ver-sa, from this hill, it was on the valley to another town. It was just Hayes and I, and occasional passing cars, thatâd spit rocks at us.
Hayes stopped at a gas station and brought snacks before we came up here. The view was enough to feed me though.
The dirt road was in front of a hill that leads into, a forest. Iâve never seen this place before, itâs beautiful.
The stars were bright, but Hayes uses his car as a flashlight. The blue from the dark sky, set the mood. I felt so nostalgic, that I couldnât feel anything but that. The green from the trees in the distance, smells fresh, feels cool but not ice cold, and they smell free. The trees are gi-ants compared to anything in the distance, taller than the hill behind us. They are comforting.
Things like this. Things like this, is what make life, perfect. No mat-ter whatâs going on, if you stop a moment, and think. Youâll realize, life is fucking great, even the shitty parts. Life is life.
âThanks for bringing me here.â I say to Hayes.
Weâre both sitting on his roof, eating trail mix.
âYeah. I knew youâd like it.â Heâs quiet after that.
Thereâs natural silence, but but just looking at Hayes, and feel-ing this way. I wanted to hear his voice again.
âHow did you find this.â I ask.
âWhen I got back. My mom.â He stops. I look at him, he looks sad.
Iâm scared Ms. Kristen is a sensitive topic for many reasons. I was now overthinking this entire night. Did his mom say something, tell him a secret? Does he know about everything? Is that why we are here?
âWhen I got back, she was pretty messed up Alex. She said some stuff to me, treated me like shit.â His voice is raspy again. He keeps clearing it.
âWhy?â I ask.
âI think, when I first got back, she was scared of me.â He says.
âI think she thought, that I was someone else.â I can feel his sadness.
âThatâs why she called the cops on me, you know? She thought I was him. Too drunk to even see me, for me. Saw me through him. I wish sheâd get better.â He says.
Chills ride my back, this was too deep for the both of us to talk about. If we keep on with this conversation, secrets would soon come out. There would be no turning back.
âHayes.â He touches my hand. Our shoes tap each otherâs.
âAfter she called the cops. When I got out, I was going to leave Ver-sa again.â He says.
I lean into him, our shoulders are touching, we feel each otherâs warmth.
âI got this far.â He smiles.
I stay silent. I watch his eyes, I enjoy his voice.
âI couldnât leave again.â He says.
âI promised you.â I lean off of him. I canât get anything else out, but his name. He grabs trail mix from my hands.
âWhy?â I ask.
My throat is raw, I want to cry. I want to hug him, I want to, hold him.
âYouâre my best friend Alexâ
I hear the trail mix break down in his mouth. I watch his clenched jaw.
âI want to see Timmy soon.â He says.
âIâll go with you.â I say.
âI kind of want to see him alone.â His voice is soft.
After a long silence, Hayes stretches, tries to lighten the mood. He smiles.
âI need a drink.â He says.
âLetâs go get one.â I say.
âNo, Iâm driving.â He says.
âIâll drive. I stopped drinking.â I say.
âMe too.â He says.
âTrying. Iâm trying to stop drinking. Iâm not supposed to drink an-yways. It fucks up my liver.â He says.
âWhy, whatâs wrong with your liver?â I turn to him.
âNothing, donât worry about , Little Richards.â He doesnât look at me.
âGood for you.â I nudge him.
âIt makes me act like a fucking dick.â He laughs.
âYes, it does!â laugh.
âWeâre pretty fucked up, huh?â Hayes laughs. I nod, laughing with him.
More cars pass, I can hear crickets when the cars, get far enough away.
I slide off of the car, Hayes comes down after. We lean on the hood of his car, close to each other.
âHayes. Why did you come back to Versa?â I ask. He doesnât re-spond.
I nudge him, and he forces a smile. This makes me nervous.
âCome on, you stayed for me. Why did you come back in the first place?â I ask.
I want to smile, but I want to smile, but Hayes looks sad again.
âHayes.â I nudge him.
He bites down hard, on his lip. He looks like he is about to cry.
I get butterflies in my stomach, because Hayesâs silent. Heâs acting weird. Does he know a secret?
He clenches his jaw again. I reach my shaking hands and move his wild hair from his face.
You Saved Me Once Book 1 ï¤Chapter 38: 22Please Forgive Me âIâm sorry.â I say.
Weâre close. Our bare skin is touching one anotherâs. I want to hug him, but Iâm scared.
Iâm so fucking scared right now.
âCan I give you a hug?â Iâm crying.
Hayes hasnât started crying yet, but knowing he wants to, makes me cry.
âWhy are you crying?â He laughs. I laugh and cover my face.
âIâm sad, for both of us.â My voice is muffled by my sleeve.
He grabs my hands and pulls me into him. I hug his warm body.
I could feel his breath. I could feel his warm body against mine. We havenât been this close, in years. We havenât hugged, in years.
We sway back and forth, and Hayes rubs my back. I stop crying.
âBetter?â He asks.
Weâre both looking at each other, our faces are close. I should let go now. I should let go, but I donât want to. I want to hold him forever.
âHayes.â I lean in more as I call his name.
I canât stop. Hayes wonât say anything, and I canât stop.
My lips meet his, for a split second. All it took was a second.
In that split second, I fucked everything up.
You Saved Me Once Book 1 worlds apart ï¤Chapter 76: Episode 75 The Witches ï¤Chapter 23: Meeting With Moxie worlds apart The Witches