Chapter : Epilogue
Bad Cruz: A Reverse Grumpy/Sunshine Romance
We made baby number two under the same bleachers where I got pregnant with Bear.
It happened after we came back from eloping in Vegas (the thought of having a full-blown wedding made me want to throw up. Plus, I simply couldnât take the chance Dalton and Jocelyn got an accidental invitation. I couldnât stomach any more conversations about vaginal lip-lifts and foot fillers. And, I still had nightmares about that cruise and all the two-penis lies Iâd spewed there).
Bear was still at Robâs, my parents were out of town, and Wyatt and Trinity were looking at houses in Knoxville, closer to his new job.
Cruz and I were bored, and he suggested we go catch a Fairhope High football game. Show support for the local team.
âAh, I donât set foot in that football field,â I said. âNot since the day I got knocked up there.â
At first, he laughed it off.
Then, when he realized I was serious, he said, âBut Bearâs a student thereâ¦?â
I winced. âThis is why I got him into video games and skateboarding and discouraged any type of field sport.â
âYouâre a crazy woman.â
âIâm well aware.â
According to Dr. Cruz Costello, the best way to get rid of a phobia is to face it head-on. The following day, we snuck onto the football field in the middle of the night.
He even wore his varsity jacket, which I found kinkily hot (also, extremely tight for the correct size of his shoulders). He tugged me under the bleachers and did all kinds of things to me, and this time, I come.
Twice.
Okay, three times.
When he finally pulled a condom out, I knocked it out of his hand.
âI stopped taking the pill.â
His face lit up. âReally?â
âYeah. I know you want a baby, andââ
âI want you more than I want a baby, so donât just do it because of me.â
âIâm not,â I protested. âWhat do you take me for, a ditzy teenager? Iâm doing this because I think weâll make a really good-looking baby, and I want to tie you down to me so I can continue living in your house, which, by the way, has been my dream house since babyhood.â
âThatâs the most romantic thing youâve ever said to me.â
âOh, Lord, really?â I asked in surprise.
That was a pretty depressing thing to find romantic.
He nodded.
âWell, how about this? I want to grow old with you and be there for you when you whine about your hip replacement, arthritis, and deep vein thrombosis.â
âThank you, sweetheart, for planning my early grave before I hit middle age. Now can you shut up so I can put it in?â
And that was that.
He was in.
That was nine months ago.
And now?
Now Iâm running the risk of losing him, since my nails are sinking deep into his veiny forearms.
âIâm going to kill you,â I pant. âI am. Whatâd you do to me?â
Iâm in a hospital bed, delivering our baby while Bear and our families wait outside. Itâs Christmas, and all I want to do is eat pudding and watch and wonder how Amanda Seyfried still manages to stay so skinny.
âThe epidural should kick in any minute now.â Cruz taps my hand lovingly, smiling down at me.
âGood, because Iâm about to kick out of here if that doesnât happen. I canât believe you did this to me.â
âI seem to remember you being a willing participant.â
The doctor walks into the room, flashing Cruz a hey-Iâm-a-doctor-too-high-five smile.
Totally ignoring me.
Iâm going to sue him later for that.
âGood news is, Nurse Hallie said the headâs popping out, so weâre good to start pushing. Are you ready to meet your baby, Mrs. Costello?â
âNo!â I scream, flinging my arms in the air.
âShe is,â Cruz amends with an easy smile.
Twenty minutes later, Adriana Sylvia Costello is in my arms.
She looks like a sweet, harmless alien. Iâm talking ET-cute, not like the aliens who come to our planet to invade our countries and rectums. Her eyes dark and blue like her dadâs, her head as bald and shiny as Bruce Willisâ.
âLook at you,â I coo, holding her in my arms. âAnd to think you almost didnât happen because of your motherâs stupid pride.â
Cruz kisses my forehead and runs a finger over his daughterâs cheek.
âI wouldâve made you mine one way or the other. I never wouldâve given up on you.â