PART 1: THE MATCH

After letting himself go inside of Dan, Jaekyung laid down in bed, looking at the ceiling. The sweat was rolling down his forehead and onto the pillow, his breathing was still a little shaky and he felt as if the world proved once again how life can have good moments; it was late and now he felt satisfied before the match of the next day. Dan was already shuffling to get out of the bed as usual, ready to go to his own room in that big and empty apartment they both lived in for the last two years, thing that caught Jaekyung's attention. With who's permission was he leaving his side that night? Using whatever strength he had left, he reached out to Dan, looking at him straight in the eye as the smaller one just gulped, waiting for the worst to come. Jaekyung raised an eyebrow, and looked at him.

"Where do you think you're going, Kim Dan?"

"To my room, sir, as always."

"I don't remember saying I was satisfied for the night... We've been doing this for two years now, Kim Dan. You should know better."

Dan simply nodded and bent over in the mattress, looking towards the window away from Jaekyung. The latter just looked at him at softly smirked, taking him by the waist and pulling him closer to his body. Dan closed his eyes with strength, hurting his eyeballs for a quick second while he waited for another "love" session to start. But it never did; all he felt was the strong abdomen of the taller one pressing to his back. A little confused, he opened one eye and looked over his shoulder, feeling the grip in his waist getting tighter. He could feel Jae's breathing in his neck, and stood still like a cautious deer, afraid of making a bad move like times before. With caution, he moved his head back to its initial position, and remained still.

Jae had one goal in his life, and one goal only: to be the best in the world in what he did; and he succeeded. He had a little help of Dan, he couldn't deny that to himself even if he only gave himself credit. His jinx was still a secret from Team Black, even if Potato had been close to discover them in multiple occasions across training sessions, tournaments and sparrings. It was his secret... their secret. He took a moment to smell Dan's hair, and thanked himself for getting rid of that horrid cheap shampoo Dan used when they first met, caressing softly the skin of his abdomen. A confession was scratching his throat, begging him to get out while he could, looking at Dan's hair. He wouldn't see his face if it wasn't for the vague reflection in the window in front of them, sighing softly at the panicked doe eyes of the doctor.

"Can I... tell you something?"

"Yes, sir... is everything okay?" Dan asked softly, not wanting to upset the man behind him.

"But you have to promise... not to tell anyone."

"I won't sir..."

"I don't want to fight The Butcher again." Jae confessed. "It's in sixteen hours, I know... but I don't want to fight him."

Dan opened his eyes in amazement, and for a moment he looked back again, turning half of his body towards Jae to see if it was actually him confessing. He was backing out of a fight? He didn't wanted to fight his longtime rival ever since the match in Busan two years ago? That was quite uncharacteristic of him: if there was something he learned about Joo Jaekyung was that he never gave up a challenge, especially if it was to humiliate Randy Booker, a.k.a The Butcher. Before the doctor could even say something back, Jaekyung kept on talking.

"I'm not afraid of him, or even of losing against him. I've won over and over, I have nothing to prove to him, even if he just proves how childish he is by fighting someone like me."

"Then... why?"

"I know I'll win, I don't feel anxious, or nervous, or nothing. I feel... peaceful."

"Peaceful? Why?"

Now that was a question Joo Jaekyung could not answer. He didn't felt anything at that moment, at least not regarding Randy. He was feeling peace in a way he hadn't for a long time, years before he even joined the martial arts world. His heart was beating strongly just looking at Dan, but he wasn't sure if it was because they just had sex or something else. One of his hands traveled to Dan's cheek, caressing it while looking at his eyes. That was one thing Jaekyung liked about the doctor beside him: he had those dreamy eyes he noticed since the very first day that just lived in his mind (and apartment) rent free.

Daehyun once said in a night out that Dan's eyes resembled those of a doe: Innocent but cautious, dreamy but alert. And he couldn't stop looking straight into his soul, as if he was bewitched by them. Dan couldn't cut the eye contact, he would never dare to do that. Jaekyung had a very strong stare, especially when he was about to fight in the ring, but this one, at this very moment, was very different. It felt not as if he was piercing his soul, but more like a soft stroke, similar to the one in his cheek at that very moment.

"Sleep here, Kim Dan. That would satisfy me enough for tonight."

Kim Dan, although surprised by his request, simply nodded, and laid his head in the pillow next to Jaekyung's ready to rest. Funny, almost like the first night they spent together, with the difference that this time, he was being held tightly.

That was the first time in a while he slept straight through the night, only needing Dan's soft breathing next to him. Jaekyung woke up first the next morning, as usual, putting his effort to not make any noise, and for a moment just appreciated that Dan was still asleep. This wasn't the first time he had seen him like that, as he often found himself in the doctor's room late at night, when he is marking yet again another sleepless moon; this was, however, the first time he woke up next to him. Dan was pretty when he slept this deep, as if he hadn't done it for a couple lifetimes. His soft breathing, lips slightly opened and a resting aura that made him look even prettier. Dan was a pretty boy... Boy. Why is he calling a 32 year old a "boy"? He's younger than Dan, even if the latter doesn't look his age. Still remembering the shock of knowing Dan was older than him, he smiled softly, moving a strand of hair off of his face just so it wouldn't bother him. He sighed, shook his head for a moment, and got out of the room with caution. He had a useless fight to get ready for.

He didn't see Dan in almost all morning, being up and down with the whole media circus that fight with the Butcher meant for him. He had found himself thinking of his doctor even in the weighing before the fight, absent minded thinking about how peaceful Dan looked like when he was asleep. His whole body exuded a special type of peace that he had been longing for evermore. Peace... he was thinking about peace in the gates of a fight. Said "peace" didn't last long, watching Randy now in front of him. He was bigger, clearly showing off his training evolution since they fought years prior, but that's where the evolution ended, for as soon as his mouth opened he started to nag, trying to get into his head. Jae raised his eyebrow, unimpressed and looking at the man-child that didn't seem to grow up in the last two years. He started talking over, and over, telling Jaekyung insults in his desperation to get a reaction out of him. "Useless", "overrated", "not that thing". Nothing he hasn't heard before; in fact, he thought worse of himself years ago before even knowing Dan existed.

While Randy was blabbing about how he was going to destroy him, something caught the corner of Jaekyung's eye. There, in the first few rows, Dan was there looking at him, the man that just a few hours ago he was admiring in his sleep. Possibly because coach Namwook invited him over to the match, as he usually did since he got hurt some months before and ended up being necessary for Dan to be at arm's reach. But he had never been there for the first encounter before, only for the sex prior the match and a quick check before going up to the ring. His mind was not in the right place at the moment, Dan's presence was getting him nervous, and he couldn't help but looking over at him as discreet as possible.

This small detail didn't went over Booker's head, who stopped his trash talk for a second to follow the line between Jaekyung's side eye and whoever was at the end of it, noticing that doctor who was looking at his opponent as if there was nothing else to see in the world. Contrary to popular belief, Booker was not that stupid, and quickly knew something was up between them, as that stare is not one you give to a patient. Knowing what little information he had in the moment, he could try and get under Jaekyung's skin like he did a couple of years prior to that day. Doing so meant he could easily win, all he needed was to use the right words...

"I see you brought your own personal whore, boy. How much is it to spend a night with him? Maybe I'll get one for free after I beat you up in the ring" Said Booker, trying to keep his voice low so that only Jaekyung would listen, waiting for his reaction.

That single comment made Jaekyung snap out of his daydreaming, looking straight into Booker's eyes. He just hoped he wasn't speaking about what he thought he was speaking about.

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"That little whore boy over there dressed as a doctor, you like playing sick, huh? I bet he's passed around easier than a blunt in the Art Faculty of New York. I mean just look at him... with those big whore lips and..."

"Don't talk about my staff like that, you son of a..." Jaekyung started to launch himself towards Booker, only being stopped by both coaches, Namwook and Yosep, when they grabbed him by the shoulders, reminding him it wasn't worth it to fight him now. There would be plenty of time to do so in just a couple of hours.

Those whispers weren't quite audible for the public, so Dan was a little confused as to why Jaekyung suddenly got upset to the point of almost fighting The Butcher about it before they even started the match. He only heard something mentioning the "staff", but that was enough to get him worked up. He sighed, knowing what was coming after that encounter, and decided to prepare for both therapy sessions in the changing room.

They had three hours in between the weighing and the fight, but most of the time was spent in calming Jae down, helping him warm up and Dan checking everything in his body was in order for the moment it came to be. Once their therapies were about to start, a single command on Jae's side was enough to clear the room, leaving both of them alone in a now closed down locker room. Dan took off his pants, having prepped himself for his boss beforehand, and looked at him straight in the eye. He could take it, that's for sure.

"Sir, we only have thirty minutes before the match."

"That's more than enough."

Sitting down in a bench, Jaekyung took Dan by the waist, sitting him on top of him. It was still cute that Dan blushed, especially considering they've danced this tango a hundred times by this point in life. He left wet kisses in his neck and clavicles, tasting Dan's skin for inspiration. He needed to win, as in his mind it was Dan's honor in the game. He clenched one of his hands around his waist, and took out his penis with the other. Dan helped himself, lifting his body a little bit and putting the tip over his entrance, closing his eyes as he slowly went down. Taking his hips, Jaekyung quickly pushed him down to the base of his cock. Dan tightened his lips, as to not make a sound that would reveal their actions to any curious person outside.

"Look at me..." whispered Jae over Dan's lips in a soft moan, moving his hips upwards while Dan kept his eyes shut. "I said look at me, Dan."

The doctor slowly opened his eyes to the fighter's command, engaging in his eye contact. Those eyes weren't like the ones of the night before, this ones oozing with pleasure and inspiring desire within him. Dan left out a small moan and incapable of keeping up with the view, he secluded his face in Jae's neck, prisoner of lust. Jae simply smirked and lifted his hips, thrusting inside Dan even deeper. The doctor whimpered and without thinking too much of it, bit Jae's shoulder over his shirt to silence his own moans and squirms. Slowly, he began moving his own body against Jae's penis, feeling it touch his sweet spot. A moan came out of his lips, hearing that obscene sound two bodies make when they clash. Still being used by Jae, Dan jumped slightly in his spot, making both movements clash even harder inside him. Jae couldn't resist it, and bit hard on Dan's shoulder, possibly leaving a mark in it, but he wasn't planning on worrying about that.

Dan looked now at The Emperor straight into his eyes, feeling that tickling inside his body that announced he was about to cum. Jae cupped Dan's face with both hands, and kissed him strongly. It wasn't the first time Jae got overwhelmed with emotions before a match and kissed him, but this one was special to The Emperor. His tongue got uninvited inside Dan's mouth, moving it against his while Dan let himself enjoy the moment, giving back for a moment what he was receiving, commencing a battle of tongues inside their mouths. This was enough to make Jaekyung unload inside of Dan, biting the doctor's lower lip in the process. Dan couldn't handle it anymore, moaning over Jae's face and letting himself go over both of them, staining Jae's shirt with cum. With a heavy breathing, he tried to calm down checking on the clock, knowing they still had a massage to do. Dan got up with a little of effort, looking at Jaekyung.

"Mr. Joo... we need to hurry up."

Jaekyung looked at Dan straight in the eyes, quite surprised. He knew Dan sometimes wasn't into it when they did it, and only did it to pay off their debt, but this time... he thought this one was special. Dan kissed him back without acting like a wimp like other times, he took his own initiative, he acted so hot and now he's acting with indifference, like they didn't just had pre-therapy sex. Jaekyung nodded and wondered if he did something wrong, or if Dan was just distracted by something else.

"Mr. Joo, I'll go get the oils. Just lay down and... let me take your shirt to wash it."

Jae just complied, looking at Dan leaving towards the bathroom. Why was this bothering him so much? Isn't it supposed to be fun this way? With no strings attached, no feelings involved? Maybe he was just thinking too much of it, making a storm inside a teacup. He closed his eyes, trying to not think too much of it when Dan's phone vibrated for a second, bearing news: a message from Daehyun. The fuck?

Daehyun-ya: "Kim Dan-hyung, good luck today! All Team Black is rooting for you all! Potato wants to say hi but his phone broke, lol. Good luck!"

Since when were Dan and Daehyun so close? How did he not know about it? Why is Dan still using this old and cheap phone instead of just asking him for a new one? He had seen them talking from time to time, but never out oh sight, but what if he was wrong? Maybe Dan was seeing him, but why? He let the phone go when he felt Dan getting closer to where he was, laying down in the bench as asked, staring at the ceiling. He remained quiet the whole time, even if he was looking straight at Dan. What else was he hiding and why did it bother him so much that he was hiding something? His side eye came to play when he saw Dan cleaning his hands to reach for his phone once he finished the massage, smiling at it when he read Daehyun's note. Why is he happy? Why is he smiling if it's not in his direction? Why is this bothering him so much? He got up the bench, thanked Dan quickly and left without saying anything else, but with a lot going on in his mind. No strings attached, right?

Just mere minutes before the fight, Coach Namwook was talking over and over about the stats, and not letting whatever Booker had to say about "the staff" get into his head, but the only thing there was the question that hadn't left his mind for the past minutes. Is Dan... intimate with Daehyun? Why him? He has the champion of the MMA in bed almost every day and he goes for Daehyun? What did that clown had that he didn't?

"Jaekyung, its time." Said Coach Yosep, looking straight at the fighter, who just put his mouth protection on, and got into the ring, ready to defend Dan's honor from Booker.

Booker had this smirk in his face from knowing how to get under Jaekyung's skin. It was easier than last time, no spit involved and all he needed to do was mention that doctor: the rest was done. He made a gesture with his hands, inviting him to attack. But Jae's mind was somewhere else, thinking of the doctor in the first row who quickly noticed something was wrong.

Randy gave the first blow to a distracted Jaekyung, hitting him hard in the chest. Dan stood up immediately from his seat, both by the shock and panic of watching The Emperor get hit. Jae looked up at Booker, who just laughed manically and launched another attack, hitting Jae in across his face. In between the screams of shock from the fans, the disbelief in the coaches eyes and Booker managing to give two blows in a row at Jaekyung's face, Dan was looking straight at Jaekyung, who was barely standing up from the blow in the torso. He looked out of breath, it was a good kick, but Dan couldn't stand it. If Jaekyung lost that fight, it would be horrible in all aspects: The stocks of Team Black would go down, the whole morale of the team, whatever might happen when they went home if Jae considered it was Dan's fault he lost.

Booker was enjoying the moment, the fact he was taking his revenge after the K.O two years prior was pumping through all of his body. At that moment, he was the clear winner and Joo Jaekyung was past his prime. He was still standing, and life was going to be perfect for him after recovering his past glory. Dan gulped, looking the other way when Randy hit Jaekyung again in the face, incapable to see the blood now coming out of his nose.

Jae fell to the ground, not even putting a fight. He had sex with Dan, they even cuddled the night before, what was happening to him? Why is he not giving his best? He looked up to his rival, who was laughing at his face with disdain, enjoying the moment as he put one of his feet in Jaekyung's chest, pressing it without a care in the world: He was his bitch now.

"What, Fake Emperor? You can't take it anymore? I bet your lovely bitch takes it better than you" He laughed hysterically. "Let me show your whore how I, The Butcher, make honor of my name!"

Jaekyung looked at Randy straight in the eye, not wanting to hear any of his bullshit anymore. He wasn't going to take it, this was for Dan's honor for fuck's sake! He tried to get up from the floor, ignoring the blood coming from his nose that was now dripping down his chin to his neck. Jaekyung looked to the side, staring at Dan's doe eyes who were already on him in between tears from outside of the cage while coach Namwook was screaming something at him.

"Jaekyung!" Screamed Namwook. "The knee!"

The fighter looked at Randy, who still had his feet pressed against his chest, and in a quick movement he hit a nerve in the back of his knee, making the blonde one step back. He was quick to move and soon enough put himself up, much to the public's surprise who already thought this was going to be a quick match.

"What? You don't like me speaking about your bitch? He must be good in bed if it makes you revive like this, emperor. I might take him home tonight after...-"

Randy didn't managed to finish his sentence before a kick in the face shut him up: Joo Jaekyung was back for blood. A kick in the chest, a quick hook and soon Booker was on the ground, trying to crawl away from the beast he woke up in his pride. Jaekyung walked towards him, in an eerie calm way, and with empty eyes just stared at him before launching at him, ready for his final move. He hooked his leg with his own, and while Randy tried to move away he grabbed his toes, looking straight at him while he did it.

"I told you..." Commenced Jaekyung, sitting on the ground still in the hook while the public watched him. He pressed his other foot on his own heel, and began pulling towards him, disregarding Booker's screams of pain. "Don't talk about MY doctor that way."

The referee had to intervene as soon as Booker hit the ground three times to signal he was giving up. With Booker too hurt to continue the match, Jaekyung rose up from the ground, spat over his back and turned around while the presenter of the match screamed in joy about the "Calf Crusher" movement Jaekyung had used. For Jae, the fact that Booker was hurt didn't mattered, only that Dan's honor was still intact.

Soon enough, both coaches were surrounding Jae, trying to check the wounds in his face and chest. The fighter rolled his eyes, even if he thanked the help of his hyung, he was tired just of thinking he had a press conference following the fight. Great.

In the locker room after the fight, Dan came with a first aid kit, ready to help check the wounds in his face. He didn't said a word, fearing of touching a nerve after the beating he just had. Jaekyung looked at Dan in silence, flinching softly when he put some alcohol in his forehead.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, Doc. Just... heal it"

"I'm sorry, if I did something wrong. I don't know what happened, I... for a moment I thought your jinx won, even if we did something about it." Confessed Dan, ashamed and scared of the aftermath.

"It wasn't your fault, Kim Dan. I wasn't fully into it since last night, you know it."

"I was scared, sir. I've never seen you get hit like that, and I... for a moment I thought you were going to lose. What happened? What brought you back?" He looked at him straight into his eyes, trying to understand, trying to dig inside those black irises of his boss and find an answer he wasn't going to give him willingly.

Jae had never considered himself a romantic person, or even a "feelings" one if said feeling wasn't anger or superiority over others. What brought him back was asking him that question. Why Kim Dan? Why did the mention of Kim Dan going home with someone else that night was enough to bring him up from the dead? And why was the idea of Kim Dan liking someone like Daehyun enough to throw him off guard in the middle of the ring? Was it because he was naturally possessive over what he viewed as his only? Was it because Dan was looking at him from outside the cage? Why would he care now, and not other times? Why Kim Dan, and not any of his other conquests that ever came along to his matches? He looked at Dan straight into his eyes, keeping the answer he knew deep inside him, but that would never say out loud, at least in front of his hyung. Dan brought him back from the floor, his teary eyes gave him the strength to not let himself be humiliated in front of his doctor, in front of the man that helped him sleep straight at night, the man that lived next door, inside his chest and mind, all rent free. Dan crying for any reason that wasn't good sex hurt, it hurt worse than any blow he has ever received in the ring, in his life even. That's the reason why, that's what brought him back from the ground. He snapped out of it when Dan silently put a band aid in his forehead, looking at him straight in the eye.

"I... don't know. I don't know, Doc." He said, with other words stuck in his throat, begging to come out. He wanted to tell him what Randy had said about him, about the eyes he saw looking at him from outside, the kiss, the small breaths he gave when sleeping, the look in his eyes when he wasn't afraid of him. He wanted to say it all, but nothing was coming out. "Maybe... I need to train harder. So this doesn't happen again."

"Yeah... maybe that's what needs to happen. I wouldn't stand to see you again on the floor like that, sir... But at least you won..." said the doctor smiling, looking at Jaekyung with a soft look in his eyes.

"I won..." but even winning the match didnt fix that he lost the chance to tell him the real reason of his fall and rise. Because he could never confess, not now, not when Dan is still terrified of him, not when even after two years there hasn't been any feelings or signals from his side, not when Dan might be happier with someone else.

Dan got up from where he was, looking at Jaekyung.

"I'll go wash my hands. Coach Namwook said that the bus would be here soon."

"Take your time, Doc." Replied Jae, forcing some indifference. When Dan left the room, he let out a big sigh, looking at the ceiling above him.

The reason he had wonwasn't because he had sex with Dan before the fight. It was because he loved him.

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Hi! i took the chance to fix some writing things that has been bothering me since i first shared with u the chapter in twitter uwu but here it is! thx for supporting me, ily!!!