Chapter 23

I walk into the Clarke’s house and sigh inwardly. Gabby and Kate are both sitting at the dining table with Kate. These days Gabby is here more often than not, and she usually makes me feel like the odd one out. The two of them look up when I walk in, and Gabby looks particularly disappointed to see me. It’s obvious that she was expecting Carter instead.

Helen smiles when she spots me and waves me over. I join her in the kitchen and wash my hands before helping her with dinner.

“How was school, sweetie?” she asks.

“It was good.”

My grades are the same, but everything feels different lately. More often than not Kate is ditching me for Gabby and I’ve started to feel lonely at school. Thankfully, Carter keeps a good eye on me and hangs out with me every once in a while. We’ve been careful to stay within the boundaries of friendship, but it’s not easy. Every time we’re alone, he looks at me like he wants me.

“Kate’s grades seem to have dropped a little. You guys don’t study together anymore?” Helen asks. I shake my head. We used to have short study sessions every day to keep each other on track, but she’s been skipping those recently. Helen sighs. She looks worried, and I wish I could make her feel better.

“I’ll remind her to study with me,” I say, knowing that my words will fall on deaf ears. Helen smiles gratefully and sighs.

My phone buzzes and I fish it out of my pocket. I bite back a smile when I see that it’s Carter. He’s convinced me to let him hide out in my house in order to avoid Gabby. She’s at the Clarke’s almost every day now and takes every single opportunity to hang around. Carter studying at my house was meant to be a one-time thing that has somehow lasted for weeks now. I was hesitant at first, but when I realized how persistent Gabby is, I gave in. Besides, most of the time I’m not even with him, so it doesn’t really matter that much.

Devil: Can you bring me my AP Chemistry book? I forgot to bring it.

Emilia: Where are you?

I don’t know why I even bother asking. I know exactly where he is.

Devil: In your bedroom. I locked my door before I left but you’ve got a key, right?

I chuckle to myself. A couple of years ago Helen put locks on all the bedroom doors to prevent Carter and me from pulling pranks on each other. I copied his bedroom key within weeks, and he always knew, but he never bothered to change the lock. Guess it’s finally coming in handy for him now.

Emilia: I don’t get why you can’t just study in your own bedroom and just lock the door. Or, you know, study at my dining table?

Devil: Last time I studied in my bedroom that viper kept bothering me. Do you really think a locked door will stop her? Besides, I like your bedroom. It’s cozy.

Cozy? Seriously? I roll my eyes and sigh. He keeps making a mess of my desk and my bed. The coziness he’s referring to is really just his mess. There are notes scattered all over my bedroom. At least he helps me look over my homework and helps me study for my own tests. Thanks to Carter, I’ve been acing my essays with ease.

Devil: Can you bring snacks too? I want the Cheez-Its.

Devil: Please.

Emilia: I can’t believe you eat that over-processed crap. I’m not bringing that for you. How about an apple?

I smile to myself and grab the Cheez-Its from the cupboard. I can’t stand them, but Carter adores them. I throw a few packets into my bag without thinking and look up to find Helen looking at me, baffled.

“I… I was just thinking… I just thought they’d be nice to study with?”

Helen blinks and nods slowly, as though she doesn’t believe me for a second. She then grabs a bag of Cheetos and hands me that too. I stare at it in dismay, and I’m about to decline when my phone lights up again.

Devil: I want Cheetos too. I think mom bought some the other day. Can you bring them?

I stare at the text in disbelief and Helen laughs. “Cheetos are good for studying too,” she says. I nod and put the Cheetos in my bag.

“You two coming in for dinner later?” she asks. I stare at the lasagna she’s making longingly and nod. She purses her lips and looks away. “Just so you know, Gabby is having dinner with us. I’ll drop by your house later with some snacks too, but the Cheetos and the Cheez-Its will do for now.”

She knows Carter has been hiding out in my house, but she’s been helping me keep it from Kate and Gabby nonetheless. She usually doesn’t like it when we’re left unattended, but this time she’s letting it slide. I guess because Carter was genuinely struggling to study at home, and it’s almost impossible to make Kate understand how disruptive Gabby’s behavior is. Both Carter and Helen have tried to speak to her about it, but her reply is usually the same. In her opinion, Gabby should be allowed to come over if I am. And if I’m allowed to pull pranks on Carter, then Gabby is allowed to annoy him a little too. I almost feel guilty for the role I’ve unwittingly played in this situation. I know Helen feels a little helpless. She doesn’t want to have double standards, and I get that.

I have to walk past Kate and Gabby to go up the stairs to Carter’s room, and I cringe when Kate’s voice stops me. I feel like I’m doing something wrong, and I just know that if they find out Carter is at my house, Kate is going to misunderstand and Gabby is going to want to come over.

“Milly, what’re you doing here?” Kate asks. The question surprises me a little. I can’t remember a single time in the last couple of years that she’s asked me that question. I often come over randomly and she’s never said anything before. I smile at Kate and shake my head.

“I think I left my history textbook in your room. Can’t find it anywhere,” I lie. The lies come easier to me now, and I hate it. I hate how easy it has become to find an excuse not to spend time with her.

Gabby rolls her eyes. “God, you’re such a nerd. Do you ever do anything fun?” she asks.

I roll my eyes. She needs to have less fun and do more studying, but that’s not my problem. Kate laughs and it hits me right in the heart. It feels like she’s ganging up on me with Gabby and it hurts.

“When is Carter coming home?” Gabby asks. “I haven’t seen him all week. Are you sure he’s gonna be home for dinner?”

I frown at Kate and she looks away. I raise my brows when she smiles at Gabby. “Yeah, my brother loves food more than anything. He wouldn’t miss dinner for the world.”

Gabby huffs and crosses her arms. “You also said he spends most of his time either at football practice or in his bedroom studying, but he hasn’t been coming home until really late for days now. Do you think he might be studying at the library? We should go there tomorrow.”

I shake my head “What does it matter what Carter does or where he is? You’re here to hang out with Kate, aren’t you?”

I don’t get what’s going on with Kate. It’s so obvious that Gabby is only befriending her because she wants to get close to Carter. Why is Kate allowing it? Is it just because Gabby is the most popular girl in school? Kate never used to care about stuff like that.

Kate looks at me pleadingly, her expression so sad that my heart breaks. I bite down on my lip and decide to shut up. I shake my head and walk up the stairs silently.

Carter waves at me from my bedroom when I walk in and I freeze. He’s standing right beside my window, and I always thought that particular spot was out of sight from his room. It really isn’t. I can see him standing there clearly. How did I not realize this? Does that mean he might have noticed me ogling him? How freaking embarrassing. I guess I got lucky and he just didn’t notice, because there’s no way he’d ever let that go.

I’m flustered as hell as I make my way back home. My heart hammers in my chest as I walk up the stairs. Surely he didn’t realize. There’s no way Carter knows I’ve been looking into his room. He’d have teased me about it, wouldn’t he? My cheeks are bright red when I walk into my bedroom. Carter looks up at me in surprise and I stare down at my feet, beyond embarrassed. I clear my throat awkwardly and put his snacks and his textbook on my desk.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks. My eyes involuntarily move back to my window and my cheeks heat up even more. I shake my head and look away. I can’t even look at him, I’m that embarrassed. How freaking awkward. Carter chuckles and I look up at him. Surely he doesn’t realize what I’m so distressed about?

He smiles at me sweetly and pulls me closer to him. He spreads his legs and leans back on my desk chair so I can stand closer. “What’s wrong?” he asks. I shake my head and stare at his shoulder. I was so shameless when I was peeping, but now that there’s a chance I might’ve gotten caught, I’m suddenly ashamed. Carter grins and pulls me closer. He rests his chin on top of my shoulder and I melt into him. He gives the best hugs and I love the way he feels against me.

We’ve done so well at keeping things appropriate between us, and I guess our little hugs toe the line, but I don’t think I could do without them. Carter sighs and holds me just a little tighter before pulling away. I take a step back when all I really want to do is throw myself in his arms.

“I looked at your calculus homework and it’s a freaking mess,” he tells me. “Look,” he points to my homework. He’s marked every error with a pencil, and he’s written down the correct calculations.

“You don’t have to do that for me, you know,” I say, my heart fluttering. He’s so thoughtful. He’s crazy busy with his own homework, tests, and football practice. He’s so tired lately that I’ve caught him fast asleep with his head on my desk multiple times now. Despite that, he still took the time to help me with my own homework. Why is he so amazing? I almost wish he wasn’t so kind to me, so I might actually be able to get over him.

Carter shakes his head and smiles. “It’s the least I can do considering I’ve pretty much taken over your bedroom.”

He starts to walk me through the calculations and I try to focus on his words as best as I can, but I’m struggling. I want him. I hate having him so close to me and having to resist.

Carter suddenly freezes and then jumps up. He grabs my shoulders and tackles me to the floor. I brace for the inevitable pain I’m about to feel, but Carter hugs me and turns us around so he falls onto his back with me on top of him. He grunts when he hits the floor and wraps his hands around my head protectively.

“What the hell?” I shout. Carter looks at me with wide eyes and sits up slightly.

“You left my bedroom door unlocked,” he whispers. I frown and rise to my knees so I can peek into his room the way he’s doing.

I gasp when I see Gabby standing in the middle of his room. She looks around curiously and then walks up to the window. She stares straight into my room and we both hide. Carter pulls me back to the floor and I giggle at his horrified expression.

“I can’t believe she’s in my fucking room,” he whispers, shuddering, and I burst out laughing. Carter wraps his hand over my mouth and turns us over so I’m lying underneath him.

“You little Minx. Please tell me you didn’t do it on purpose,” he whispers. I shake my head, but I can’t stop laughing. He looks so horrified.

“You realize she can’t hear you, right? You don’t have to whisper. You know, I bet she’s rolling around in your sheets. I wonder if she thinks she can just spread her scent all over your bed and mark it as hers?”

Carter looks terrified and I laugh even harder.

“Not funny, Minx,” he says. Carter rolls on top of me and pushes my hands above my head. The mood changes instantly and my eyes fall to his lips. I want him. I want him so badly and I know he wants me too.

Carter leans in and his lips brush over mine. I sigh and tilt my head a little, giving him easier access to my lips. I know we shouldn’t do this, but I can’t help myself. Staying away from him gets harder every day.

Carter is about to kiss me when the slamming of my front door interrupts us. We’re both startled and jump up and away from each other.

“That’s probably your mom,” I whisper. “She said she’d drop by with some snacks for us.”

Carter runs a hand through his hair and nods before walking out of my room. I follow him down, feeling as frustrated as I know he is.