Chapter 12.5: Tyler's Version (bonus chapter)

WARNING: this is a time jump back to chapters 12 and 13 from Tyler's POV

My palms were sweating and my heart was about to burst up out of my chest.

The boy who managed to pull emotions out of me that I thought were long gone was following me up to my apartment, step by step. I couldn't help the embarrassment that I felt consuming me. We weren't even at my place yet and I knew it wouldn't compare to Addison's. He lived in a tall, elegant complex right next to the fancy stores whose alleys you wouldn't have to worry about getting robbed in, whereas I lived in the part of town that made mothers hold their children closer to them and addicts lined the streets. It even smelled poor, and the peeling paint on the walls didn't help.

I just hoped it was good enough for him.

I just hoped I was good enough for him.

Before long, we were standing in front of my door, faded and chipping. With shaking hands, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door as Addison patiently watched me. I gave the door a quick knock. "I'm comin' in, Pop!" I announced as I opened up the door, something that I regularly did ever since the day that I accidentally scared my dad and he nearly knocked my head off.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw my dad in the kitchen which was smaller than Addison's bedroom. His back was toward us as he frantically flew around the kitchen with my baby sister on his hip. "Hey, son," he greeted without turning to look at us. "Can you take Serenity right quick? My arm's getting tired."

I wasted no time grabbing my growing baby sister and looking down into those chocolate eyes that never failed to bring a smile to my face. This time was no different. "Hey, baby," I softly said as I pressed a kiss to her warm forehead. "How are you?" She gave me a small giggle as she looked up at me in a way that made my insides warm up. It was crazy how quickly she was growing up. It would be no time before I'd be watching her take her first steps, then I'd eventually be chasing off hard-headed boys trying to make a pass at her.

She absolutely had my heart, and she couldn't even say a word.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the corners of Addison's lips turn up ever so slightly as he looked at us. Or maybe I could've imagined it.

"Alright. I warmed up some pasta, and there's some bread in the fridge if you want it," my father rushed out as he scooped some into a portable bowl, urgency ripe in his voice. I looked at the clock on the stove and realized that he was running late for work, something that very seldom happened. "There's also some juice in there too. 'Ren might be getting hungry again soon, but you know how to handle that. Oh and one more thing–"

His words ceased when he finally turned around and noticed Addison. I felt the heat of embarrassment on my cheeks and he hadn't even spoken to Addison yet. But I just knew it was going to be embarrassing, especially because I'd made the mistake of telling my dad about my feelings for him. In order to busy myself, I sloppily put some pasta in my own bowl before I started gobbling it down, not caring how messy I looked. I'd rather be messy than embarrassed.

"Oh. Hi, I didn't see you there."

"Hi, sir. My name's Addison, but most people call me Addi."

My father shook Addison's hand as I saw the gears turning behind his eyes. He was putting the pieces together.

Please don't say anything embarrassing. Please don't say anything embarrassing.

"Ah, yes. I recognize that name. Tyler's told me about you."

His words caused my food to go down the wrong pipe and I started coughing and sputtering uncontrollably. Addison raised a knowing brow at me as my father sneakily winked.

"Oh has he?" Addison asked, a teasing tone in his voice. God, he didn't know what he was doing to me.

"He has," my father confirmed as he grinned, secretly loving what he was putting me through.

Good God. Take me now.

"Well, I'm Mr. Barnett and I'm..." he said, checking his watch before sighing, "running late for work." Without another word, he grabbed his food before he kissed both my sister and I on the cheeks. "I love you. Don't stay up too late."

"Love you too, dad."

My dad turned to Addison, and I was fully ready to turn and run out the door never to come back if he said something else embarrassing. "It was nice meeting you, Addison."

I let out a silent sigh of relief.

"It was nice meeting you too, Mr. Barnett," Addison respectfully said was that adorable grin that made my knees weak, and within seconds, my father was gone.

I let out a small sigh of relief. That went...better than I thought it would, especially with my dad's affinity for embarrassing me whenever he could.

"Are you talking to your dad about me, Tyler?" Addison asked, raising a brow at me as a grin tugged at his lips. My God I wanted to kiss him so badly.

I felt heat rush to my cheeks at the thought as I broke eye contact, mentally scolding myself for even thinking such a thing. "No," I grumbled.

His melodic laughter filled the air.

"You so are."

"Shut up." I tried to keep my tough facade, but it was impossible around Addison. He just made everything so easy, and I needed some easiness in my life right about now.

"Tyler–"

"Look, do you want your pasta or not?" I tried to force as much annoyance in my voice, but we both knew that I'd already cracked. Addison laughed at me before he fixed himself a bowl and we both crashed onto the couch.

I carefully settled Serenity on one knee and my bowl of pasta on the other, a delicate balance that I'd mastered over my years of being a big brother.

Silence fluttered between us as we ate our pasta and watched reruns of Adventure Time. Serenity was content as I bounced the leg she was sitting on, her eyelids slowly yet steadily covering her earthy eyes. After it started, it only took mere minutes for her to succumb to her drowsiness. Even asleep she was the most precious thing in the world; so relaxed and perfect.

I felt a small grin tug at the edges of my lips as I gently cradled her and stood up. I quietly excused myself before I carried her into my dad's room where Serenity had her own little corner. I slowly approached her cradle before I held her close to my chest and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight, Ren-Ren," I softly said before I crouched over the barrier of her cradle and gently set her in. I stayed there a few moments and watched the steady movements of her chest and listened to the melodic rhythm of her breathing.

Once I was satisfied that she was okay and that she wouldn't randomly wake up, I found myself hesitating to walk back out to where Addison was. On one hand, I was beyond grateful to have him all to myself, but on the other, I was terrified, not of him, but of myself. He made me feel so many things, all of them good but all of them tethered to painful memories. I knew myself well enough to know how I acted when it came to things that even remotely reminded me of my past. I shut down. I shut out. And he didn't deserve that.

But what if he makes you happier? What if he's the one? The selfish, optimistic part of me reasoned.

You don't even know if he's into guys, the reasonable part of me claimed. You could mess everything up then he'll never talk to you again.

You see how he acts around you. There's something there. There's gotta be. Just take it slow and don't do anything rash. Test the waters.

My brain was spinning with a hundred and one things, but one thing was painfully clear: I'd never get another chance like this again, so whatever I did, I had to make it count.

So, just to see what would happen, I took my shirt off and tossed it into my room. I'd seen the way Addison looked at me when I was shirtless; his eyes showed exactly what he was thinking and feeling even when he had on a poker face. Maybe this would do something.

Before I could psych myself out, I re-entered the living room. Once Addison's gaze met mine, a look of shock quickly flashed in his eyes before his eyes flickered to my body. I felt pride bubble into my chest, but I didn't let it get to me as I walked to the couch and sat next to him. A small shiver moved through him as our arms lightly pressed together, sending electricity through me. He had some kind of physical reaction every time we touched. At first, I thought it was a byproduct of toxic masculinity, but as I'd gotten to know the beautiful boy sitting next to me, I knew that wasn't the case. Instead, I was hoping that it was a sign that he felt even a fraction of the way about me that I felt about him. God, please don't be playing a cruel joke on me.

"Are you okay?" I cooly asked despite the fact that my heart was violently beating against my chest.

"Uh yeah, I just got a little chill, that's all," he softly said and, oh God, there goes that blush that drives me wild. If only he knew what he was doing to me.

"Ah, sorry about that. This apartment gets random cold breezes every now and then. Here." The words flew out of my mouth and before I could even think, I had my arm tightly wrapped around him and pulled him into me. Once my brain had time to process what I'd just done, I was mortified. I wanted to get up and run out of the apartment and never look back. He must've been disgusted and confused by my random forwardness. I mentally cursed the filter between my brain and my mouth as an apology formed on my lips, but it quickly died when I realized he hadn't instantly pulled away, nor did it look like he was going to.

I looked down at him. There was no trace of disgust or anger on his features, just an innocent confusion and wonder. "Is that better?" I softly asked and he mutely nodded. I couldn't fight the grin that spread across my face as I grabbed the remote, my hand slightly shaking. "Good. Now, what movie are we going to watch?"

He didn't respond as I started surfing the channels, causing worry to slowly bubble within my chest. Had he just been shocked, is that why he'd been silent? Was it wearing off and he was realizing how weird this was? Was he looking right through my facade? What if–

My thoughts were cut short when he did the last thing I expected him to do: he gripped my chin and kissed me.

My breath caught in my throat as I froze. Warmth filled my body from head to toe as tingles fluttered behind my knee caps. This was happening. He was kissing me.

I found myself grinning against his lips as I gently cupped his cheek and pressed my lips deeper into his. We stayed there for our own moment trapped in time, neither one of us daring to move or deepen the kiss.

My God, the moment that I'd been waiting for since I met him was happening and it felt amazing. But I couldn't fully enjoy it, and it killed me. There was one thought, one person fluttering around in the back of my mind that prevented me from fully basking in the glory that this moment brought me. A girl that was too kind to hurt, and I didn't want to be the one that hurt her. So, despite how good it felt, I pulled away.

As his beautiful green eyes fluttered open, a look of confusion filled them as if he was silently asking me why I stopped. "What about Kyra?" I softly asked as I dropped my hand from his cheek, the question burning like poison as it slid across my tongue.

He shook his head. A part of me was expecting him to say that the kiss was a mistake or some stupid dare, but he didn't. "We're not together anymore."

"I'm sorry, man," I said, though we both knew I wasn't. A selfish part of me was glad that they weren't together anymore, especially because I didn't feel guilty for kissing him moments ago, as awful as it sounded.

"I don't know if I am."

Those simple words hung heavily in the air between us, as if daring both of us to make a move. To do something about it. But neither of us did. We just looked at each other as the tension sizzled in the air between us. I was still beyond terrified, but simply hearing that Addison seemed to feel a smidge of the way I felt set my insides on fire. I felt bold. I felt confident. So I was going to do something about it.

"I don't know I am either," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper as I slowly leaned in again, looking for any sign of discomfort as I did. There was none. In fact, he was leaning into me as his body wordlessly begged me to do it. Right when I was within an inch of Addison's lips, I stopped myself and looked him in his forest-colored eyes. "May I?"

"Please," he said, his voice soft and breathless.

Damn, was that a turn-on.

I gently pressed my lips against his once more, pushing down my inner horniness and desires. I wanted to take this slow with him, especially because I was still pretty unsure about what was happening. He gently kissed me back as I used my thumb to gently tilt his head back so I could kiss him the way that I wanted. After a few moments, I gently ran my tongue along his bottom lip. Addison got the message and welcomed my tongue into his mouth as a soft groan was pulled from him and he held onto me tighter. That noise alone was enough to make me fall apart, but in addition to the new physical contact, I was absolutely weak and incredibly horny.

To my surprise, Addison climbed onto my lap and started fighting with me for control of the kiss. My hands smoothly slid down his fit body from his cheeks to his waist, his bare skin feeling warm against mine. The kiss was getting intense. Dangerously so. To avoid getting too heavy too fast, I started kissing down his jaw toward his neck. Once I made it to his neck, he let out a sigh of ecstasy as he tangled his fingers in my hair and pushed himself further into me.

Good God, he was so hot.

And just as I started sliding my tongue against his soft, warm neck, the familiar sounds of my baby sister's cries filled my ears.

Despite how badly I wanted to ignore it and continue doing things that would make Addison keep making those arousing noises, I couldn't. I was a big brother and I had responsibilities, and Serenity's needs came above my wants. Always.

But it didn't make it any less painful when I had to pull away and look up at Addison. His face was flushed as he looked down at me breathing heavily. "I gotta go take care of that," I said, each syllable feeling like sandpaper as it traveled up my throat.

He blushed as he broke eye contact. "Yeah, do that," he bashfully said as he climbed off of me and gently ran a thumb across his lower lip, almost mystified.

I couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable he looked before I stood up and got my sister. "Shhh, shhh, baby. I know, I know," I gently cooed as I picked her up and started bouncing her. As I bounced her, I walked over to my dad's mini-fridge and grabbed a bottle of formula. I shook it before I gently directed it into her mouth. She greedily suckled on it as she looked up at me with those adorable eyes.

"I love you, Ren, but you're a huge cockblock," I lightly joked. "I was in the middle of a really good thing. But it's probably good that you stopped us, though I still kinda wish you hadn't."

Not paying me any mind, she continued drinking until the bottle was empty. "You're a hungry girl, aren't cha?" I softly asked as I started burping her. After a few minutes, a small belch was produced and I knew that fatigue would soon follow. I softly started humming as I rocked her, a technique that continuously worked without fail, and this time was no different. Before long, I was tucking her back into her crib.

"Night, Ren-Ren. Love you."

I was about to walk out when I noticed one tragic thing: I very much had a boner, something I somehow overlooked while I was taking care of the baby. I mentally cursed before I awkwardly tucked myself into the waistband of my boxers. As uncomfortable as it was, it would have to do until it either went away or I could relieve myself, neither of which seemed like an option at the moment.

Nevertheless, after checking in the mirror to make sure it wasn't obvious, I found myself wandering back out just to see that Addison was no longer on the couch. For a moment, my heart dropped as I wondered if my worst fear was true: that's gotten freaked out and left. I had been pretty intense, especially for our first kiss, so I wouldn't be surprised if–

My thought was cut off when I heard the sound of plates hitting one another. I shifted my attention to the kitchen, and thankfully Addison was standing there...doing dishes? "Hey, what are you doing?" I asked as I entered the kitchen, watching him curiously, especially because we had a working dishwasher right next to him. Is that something that rich people do– wash dishes for fun?

"Just washing the dishes." His eyes didn't leave the task at hand and his voice was soft like a whisper.

"But we didn't get to finish dessert yet," I said with a faux pout, hoping to get a chuckle out of him for such a corny line. But I got no response. He was flustered. Cute.

"Addison, look at me," I playfully instructed as I slowly walked closer to him. I could practically see the goosebumps running up and down his arms as the hair stood at attention on the back of his neck. He was feeling all of this because of me. Me.

He shook his head. "No."

I gently put a hand on his shoulder causing his muscles to tense beneath my touch, though he still refused to look at me. I was loving his defiance, but it was obvious that his resolve was slipping through his fingers. "Am I making you nervous?" The question was in equal parts playful as it was serious. Though I was 98% sure that he was okay with what was going on, I wanted to leave room for that 2% to make itself known if need be.

He shook his head as he slowly started drying the dish in his hand, causing relief to move through me. "No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

Silence filled the air and I could've sworn that he could hear how fast my heart was beating with excitement but also nervousness. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of Addison putting down the plate in his hand. "No."

"Then look at me, Addison." My words, though tough-sounding, were a beg. As corny as it sounded, I missed seeing his eyes and seeing them betray his thoughts and feelings.

He swallowed before he timidly turned toward me. I smiled before I gripped his hips and fully turned him toward me, causing a soft gasp to escape his soft lips. His doe eyes full of wonder looked up at me as we stood chest to chest, which only caused me to get harder. Without saying anything else, I allowed myself to give in to my desires and I gently kissed him, fully wrapping my arms around his waist. Every whisper of tension left his body as he relaxed and kissed me back, even going as far as to slung his arms around my shoulders.

Kissing him felt like floating on a cloud, not tethered to reality. As his lips moved against mine, I was reminded of what it meant to truly feel. Feel his toned body against mine. Feel the tightness with which he was holding me. Feel him, and all the emotions he brought with him. Just feel.

All too soon, though, he pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"Why aren't you freaked out?" He blurted. "Most guys would be freaked out if I'd done what I just did to you."

I grinned as I gave his hips a slight squeeze. "Luckily, I'm not most guys. Now was that your only question because I believe we were in the middle of something that I would love to get back to right about now–"

"Ty, I'm serious," he said, stopping me from leaning in again. "Why are you so okay with this? You're not even the least bit confused or weirded out? I can't read you or how you're feeling about all of this."

I raised a brow. On one hand, I thought it was adorable how concerned Addison was with how I was feeling about all of this, but on the other, I felt that I'd been very clear with just how "okay" with all of this I truly was. "Addi, I'm not a book. Besides, I might not be the brightest, but I'm definitely not blind. I've seen the way you blush when I'm around or how you switch up around me. I especially notice the way you react when I touch you. I mean, I would've had to be blind not to notice it when we were at your house working on the project. I could literally breathe in your direction and you'd blush like crazy and get goosebumps."

He blushed as he looked down. "You noticed all of that?"

"Yeah, I did," I said with a chuckle as I gently used my finger to redirect his gaze to me. "And I thought it was really cute. So, if you're still trying to read me and my feelings about all of this, I'm one-hundred percent okay with it. More than okay with it actually."

I huge grin spread across his face that mirrored that of a child's on Christmas morning. But almost as quickly as it had come, his smile dropped as his eyebrows furrowed. "But you never showed any signed back."

Now it was my turn to get flustered as my eyes met the ground. "I didn't know how to approach you in that way, you know? You were just so easy to be around and funny and smart and cute and perfect, and I just didn't want to risk messing it up by not doing it the right way, if that makes sense. Besides, you were kind of with Kyra so even if I wanted to, I couldn't morally make a move on you while you were with her."

He sighed. "Look, I want you to know that I tried not to like you while me and her were together. I wouldn't cheat on her. I just felt all of these emotions with you that I didn't wither her and it just became...complicated I guess. But I'm not with her anymore and–"

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it," I gently said, honestly not wanting him to beat himself up about something as complicated as emotions. "We're here now, right?" I ran my fingers through his soft hair and a small shiver moved through him, causing me to smile.

"Right," he softly agreed with a small blush. "So, uh, what does that make us?"

"Two guys that kind of like each other, I guess," I said with a small shrug, not in a rush to put a label on something so fragile and new.

He grinned, causing my heart to flutter. "Two guys that kind of like each other, I guess," he repeated before he lifted himself onto his toes and kissed me. I couldn't fight the grin that tugged at the edges of my lips before I gripped the back of his neck and deepened the kiss, silently thanking God for the boy in my arms.

***

Hey y'all! I hope you enjoyed the first bonus chapter from Tyler's point of view, and if you did, feel free to comment your thoughts as well as other chapters/ scenarios you wanna see from Tyler's POV! Also, I know it's been a while since I've updated and I sincerely apologize. College was super hectic, but luckily I'm on summer break so I should be able to update more frequently. So, to make up for the lack up updates, I will be posting the next chapter within the next 20 minutes or so. See y'all next chapter and stay safe!

Love y'all– Jordan :)