Chapter 17.5: Tyler's Version (bonus chapter)

It was only after a few minutes of complete stillness and silence that was I finally able to retake control over my body. I forced myself onto my feet and went to gather my clothes that had been discarded onto the floor. My knees shook with every step and my hands weren't cooperating with me, causing my shirt to fall out of my grasp multiple times. However, after a few attempts, I was able to redress myself before I settled back onto the bed.

My heart was still hammering in my chest, but this time out of fear rather than the excitement that had run through me mere minutes ago.

I should've locked the damn door. I made a comment on it and still didn't lock it. How stupid could I be? Now it was all my fault. Addi was outed, Kyra could damn sure out me, and everything could fall apart all because I didn't–

My incessant thoughts were cut off when the bedroom door slowly opened. My breath caught in my throat as I mentally prepared myself for venomous words and hostile eyes, but I relaxed when I saw it was only Addi. "Hey," he greeted as if nothing was wrong, though his words were nothing more than a whisper. He closed the door behind him and ensured to lock it this time, though I doubted there would be anything lock-worthy going on now. I was too terrified.

"Hey," I repeated, hating how foreign my voice sounded even to myself.

He offered me a small smile before he walked over and effortlessly planted himself on my lap so we were chest to chest and his legs were wrapped around my waist. I couldn't hide the shock that moved through me, especially because he was being so bold despite what had just occurred. And no matter how casual he tried to play it off, I knew his conversation with Kyra hadn't gone well. Nevertheless, I placed one hand on his lower back to offer support while I used the other to cup his cheek. I wanted to ingrain the feeling of his body against mine before it inevitably came to an end after tonight.

"I'm sorry, Addi," I softly said. "I messed things up between you and Kyra."

Addi's eyebrows knit together in confusion as if I'd spoken another language. "Tyler, you didn't mess anything up. No one forced me to kiss you or to climb on you or do anything else that I did. So, all the blame falls on me."

I looked at him for a second, trying to see if his eyes would betray his true emotions, but I saw nothing. Just my sad reflection staring right back at me. I dropped my hand from his face as I looked down with a sigh, dreading the words that were about to come out of my mouth. "If you want to break this off, I understand. I don't want to make things complicated."

"No," he said as he instantly brought my hand back up to his face, causing me to look at him with confusion. Why wasn't he taking this way out? Why continue this after what just happened? "But Kyra–"

"– and I are done," Addi firmly said. "We're done. That decision was made and I've moved on. Look, I know things are a bit complicated right now, especially with our standing, but I really wanna see where this goes. Maybe we'll be boyfriends one day, maybe we'll get married and have like a million children. Maybe we'll stay like this. I don't care. I just want to keep going...I mean if you want to. What just happened didn't just affect me, you're a part of it too."

A pained look flashed across his face at the last part, causing my heart to flutter at how much he seemed to care about me. He gently took my cheeks in the palms of his hands and ran his thumbs across my jaw just the way I liked it. "How are you? I know it was sudden, I didn't even expect her to come, I swear."

How was I? I didn't even know. So many emotions were fighting within me for dominance that I couldn't fully describe how I was feeling. But if Addison was openly communicating his feelings, I could too. "I don't know. I think my mind is still trying to process it. I mainly feel guilty. I know you said that you two were separated before we got together or whatever, but the look on her face makes me feel bad for even liking you while you and she were together," I admitted.

"You shouldn't, Ty. As I said, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who kissed you first after all. I mean, I would understand if you wanted to take a step back after what happened. I know you're not really out and I kinda indirectly outed you. Sorry."

I quickly shook my head, not wanting him to think that I had any doubts or ill feelings toward him. "You didn't know, Addison. It's not like we had any warning or anything. Even if we did, I don't believe that you would do anything like this on purpose."

"Of course not," he agreed before he started searching for something. After a few moments, he climbed off of my lap and grabbed his phone off of the floor. As soon as he turned it on, his face dropped, causing my heart to race once more.

"What?" I softly asked as worry wrapped around me like a snake.

"My phone was still on 'do not disturb' from dinner. I was so busy trying to get up here that I missed the texts she sent."

"Ok," was the only word I could say. Though a part of me was pissed that he was so careless, especially given my past, I couldn't be mad at him. Not only did he have no idea about my past and previous experiences, bit this was all new to him and we were both being led by our emotions rather than reason when we got up here.

Addison blushed and broke eye contact, obviously ashamed and embarrassed. Yet, despite the stressful situation, I couldn't contain the chuckle that escaped my lips as I laced my hands behind his neck. Addison's gaze met mine again as he raised a brow. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," I said as I sobered up and rested my forehead on his shoulder. "I think that laughing is my natural coping mechanism." And it was. When I was bullied for the first time, I laughed. When I'd been sent away to that awful place, I laughed. When I woke up after trying to use an unraveled soda can to kill myself, I laughed like there was no tomorrow. This was no different.

Addison wrapped me in a tight hug and ran his fingers up and down my spine in a way that made me completely melt into him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I said as I gripped his hips before a comfortable silence swallowed us, our thoughts running wild as we tried to figure out how to move forward. I found comfort, however, in the steady way he ran his hand up and down my back.

He wasn't distancing himself from me, so I would try my best not to pull away from him. "I want to keep doing this too, whatever it is." The phrase snuck past my lips before I could even process what I was saying. For the thousandth time in the past hour, my heart started to race with embarrassment and anticipation.

"What?" Addison softly asked.

I partially broke the hug so that we were looking face to face. I swallowed as I chose my words carefully. "I mean...I like this. You said you'd want to continue on if I wanted to, right? So, I want to."

Almost instantly, a gorgeous grin spread across his face, and all thoughts of worry and doubt quickly vacated my brain. "Really?"

A grin of my own tugged at my lips, and I made no attempt to hide it. "Yes, Addi, do I need to spell it out for you, idiot?" I lightly joked. I placed my hand back onto his soft smooth cheek and looked him deeply in the eyes. "I like you, Addison Bruno-Williams."

"I like you too, Tyler Barnett." His voice was barely above a whisper as he speak, but I could feel authenticity pulsating through every syllable. A feeling a couldn't describe moved through my spine and branched out into every cell of my body, and though I couldn't put a name to it, I knew that I liked it. A lot. I liked Addison a lot.

Within a moment's breath, our lips were back on each other's, a soft intimate caress. There was no battle for control, nor were there ulterior motives. It was just simply a kiss between two boys that liked each other, a wordless form of intimate communication.

Yet, like most amazing moments I'd experienced with Addison, I had to go and ruin it by blurting "I meant what I said earlier."

Addison quirked his eyebrow. "Which part."

Though embarrassment moved through me by what I was about to say, instead of succumbing to the dreadful feeling, I confronted it. I embraced it. "That I like you in gray sweatpants." I moved my hands up and down his thighs as a small grin tugged at the edges of my lips. I smiled a lot when I was with him. But in all seriousness, Addison looked hot in gray sweats. Criminally so to the fact that I could barely contain myself.

I had a feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing when he picked them. And if he didn't...Lord, have mercy.

"Dude, that's like, really gay," he joked as he pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head.

"Really?" My voice was soft as I leaned closer and looked up at him. It was obvious that I was 1000% whipped for him, and I didn't care. He had unspeakable power over me, whether he knew it or not. I could only hope he felt a fraction of the way about me that I felt about him.

"Really." He used my hood to pull me closer to him until our lips were on each other. I laughed at his cheap tactic to get me to kiss him before I firmly gripped his ass and fell backward. An adorable, yet inhuman scream escaped his lips as we fell, and we couldn't hold back the hyena-like laughter that flowed from our lips.

Man, I loved the sound of his laugh, and how beautiful he looked when he was carefree and enjoying the moment.

As we sobered up, he rolled off of me and nestled himself into the bed next to me, though our feet remained tangled like headphone wires, not that I minded at all, and we just looked at each other. Neither one of us said a single word, nor did either of us move. Just brown eyes looking at green. Hearts beating adjacent. Skin melting into skin.

After a few moments, he reached up and swept some of my hair from my forehead, his fingertips causing electricity to explode within me. "I'll fix everything with Kyra, okay? I promise."

"I believe you. But you also promise to tell me if you can't, right?"

Addison propped himself up onto my chest before he stuck out his pinkie, an adorably juvenile gesture. I playfully rolled my eyes, but linked my pinkie with him nonetheless. He kissed the back of his thumb, his eyes staying on mine as he did so.

"Lo prometto," he said. And though I still didn't know what he was saying, I imagined that he said that he would.

And I believed him.

***

Ugh, Tyler is so whipped and I'm living for it.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if so, feel free to vote and comment. And, as always, the next chapter is already available on Inkitt, so click the link in my bio to check it out.

So, I have an announcement: Excluding the early access chapter that's already available on Inkitt, I don't think I will be continuing doing past scenes in this book from Tyler's POV. I think it feels like I'm just repeating information we already know just with different words. So instead, I'll be writing future scenes between Tyler and Addi from Tyler's POV like I did in TIMH (ex. their first apartment together, their first pet, etc.) But, if there are scenes from the past that you really want his POV on, let me know and I'll think about it.

Also, sorry for the millionth time for my poopy updating schedule. I thought I'd be able to update more during the summer, but I was dead wrong. I'm working all the time and when I'm not working, I'm sleeping or getting stuff ready for college to start up again in the fall. Ugh, adulting is hard. But on the bright side, I've been working on the story between Mr. Hill and John (from TIMH and briefly mentioned in this book). It's an uber short story (basically a novella) so that'll be out soon to conclude the "In My Heart" series. But yeah.

I hope you guys have a good rest of y'all's week!

Love y'all– Jordan!